optimista

Well no. Not really. IMHO. You have a piece of paper which confers rights and obligations. Is that going to change your inner person ? I acquired a second nationality this year. But I am not and never will be French ... on the inside. For me it came as a relief. I now feel less vulnerable. But that's where any emotion stops.

It was quite a night in the Alsace. Reminiscent of 1975 in the north of England which was followed by March gales like I d never seen or heard - but then I was only just into double figures myself - which was followed by the hot summer and drought of 1976. Interested to see if there is a pattern. If there is, batten down the hatches, folks, cos you ain't seen nuffin yet.

Yes, it s not a path one would wish to embark upon. I am sure the owner will kindly oblige without extreme measures being necessary.

Once upon a time there was a techy by the name of spider piggy. 

That sounds damned good.

That's a bitter lesson. But sadly true.

Black stocking (just the one) in my day, mate. Incidentally, vaseline or oil or pig dripping on the windscreen would be quicker. Never did it myself, just transmitting ancient wisdom...

Good Bramble, good. Definitely start banging on about paragraph 12. And if that fails to penetrate, direct action à la Keith. Sorry to say, that may be the only form of communication the owner understands - in the same way that small children respond better to physical gestures than words. Make sure the hoodie is black and wait for a cloudy night. Hope the van is not under a street lamp.

I can see that you can see that I am a really useful person in many different ways. But I really do not want to get roped into your project, which you obviously wish to be an ongoing thing. I have given you an inch. Now get off my case.

Yes. And british AZ exported to France was deemed invalid in UK. Someone got paid for inventing that one too.

Dunno what the law has to say in Germany but in France you cannot park such a vehicle for more than one night in the same spot if you are on the street, or come to that, even in specially designated spaces for campers and caravans, so anywhere in public that is not an actual campsite.   And they do check.   I would first make sure that he actually is within his rights.

I think that would be a bit of a killer for most women...

Allowed ? Sure. But...you know what ? I just wouldn t. The potential for administrative unthinking half baked shite is just too likely.

  Rather, you omit "since you cannot identify the guy who threw a stone at your car in the dark..." There is no way in hell you are going to resolve this one. Yes, move on. You are thinking of extracting a confession by intimidation from some stranger in the same building who may or may not be the guilty one? I can assure you that even if you do get the right person - and you sound rather determined - they are absolutely not going to confess - why would they? - unless you start pulling out their finger nails and abusing their family.   I am sorry to say that there are morally bankrupt people in an anonymous society getting away with petty crime. And worse.

Right. So you have perfectly understood the German scene. I think that's one country you can eliminate. I doubt somehow that you would adapt easily to the rigidity of the teutonic mentality. From what you say I think Czechia is the place to be but you don't like the salary range. Catch 22.