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About razorsandroses

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  • Location Berlin
  • Nationality American
  • Hometown New York City
  • Gender Male
  • Interests Fuck you, and get off my profile!

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  1. Even after all these years, I still...

    When I got a new phone number I did like I used to as a punishment in school--I wrote 50 times, and every morning as I'd start the day, I'd stop and recite it to myself to keep it fresh.   Ironically, like Fraufruit, I have trouble saying it in English when giving it to a business in America, and end up having to write it down and read it off.
  2. Even after all these years, I still...

    Even after 12 years in Germany, I will NEVER learn to properly gender nouns. Ever. I throw whatever random Die Der Das Dem Den  that I feel sounds nice. Same goes for the adjective stems. Tell the Germans to just deal with it.
  3. Even after all these years, I still...

    12 years in Germany, and I still keep saying "dollars" instead of "euros"
  4. True Confessions

    Computer science!  I'm also a serious math and physics buff to go along with it.
  5. True Confessions

    Well Lisa, don't feel bad. I'll share a blatantly dishonest story.   I was 10 years old, and the teacher informed us of an upcoming comprehensive test we were having in science. To motivate us, she told us that the person who scored the highest would win $20. To a child of the 90s who only got about $5 a month for allowance, that was big bucks.   A few days later during lunch break, I ran back inside the empty classroom to retrieve some toy for the playground and by sheer coincidence noticed the teacher's manual and the stack of said tests on the teacher's desk. With this snake grin on my face, I grabbed a test and copied down all the answers.   As I went through the day, I became more and more apprehensive about how I was going to pull a switcheroo without her noticing, and I further begin to fear that even if it were successful, she might become suspicious of a perfect score from an average student and make me retest.   Given that, I took the test home and spent the entire evening memorizing the test front, back, out of order, backwards, upside down, made little flashcards and and self tested myself relentlessly.   The following morning, I of course took the test. Unsurpringly, at the end of lunch break, the teacher stopped me at the classroom door and marched me straight to the principal's office.   After presenting me with the accusation and hearing my denial, she then ordered me to retake the test under their observation. I really wish I could describe the bewildered look on their faces when she graded it and it was a "perfect" score again.   She tried quizzing me by asking me questions in random order, then suddenly threw the test down and "He's not even hesitating to answer! I don't know what...how...why..." I walked out of that office feeling like I had slain Goliath.   Ultimately, she eventually (and begrudgingly) gave me the $20. And for the rest of the year, I was too terrified to get anything less than an A in science out of fear what would happen to me if if I did.
  6. True Confessions

    Confession:   I came home from school one day and found a roast broiling in the oven. Being a mischievous little shit, I decided I didn't want roast for dinner. I turned the temperature to the max and slipped out the door, intending to sneak back in later and turn it back down once it was ruined.    When I returned a little while later, I discovered a full blown Armageddon unfolding in the kitchen with my mom screaming my poor dad's face off while he protested "I'm positive I put it at x degrees like you told me to! I have no idea why it was at 500°F!"    She made him go get an eye exam and bought him reading glasses. And for the next 15 years, she'd always say, "Are you sure that's what it said? Did you have your reading glasses on when you read that?"   Still not sure if I should ever tell them the truth.
  7. What is your experience with legal insurance?

    I'm currently in the process of suing someone for fraud. Unfortunately, the criminal courts in Berlin are too overwhelmed and declined to file criminal charges because the damages were too small. Nonetheless, I have all the paperwork, evidence, and witness statements I need to secure a judgement.   Surprisingly, the defendant chose to contest the Mahnbescheid and retained an attorney. I looked the attorney up to get a feel for who I'd be going up against in court and noted that despite having his office openly listed, he had absolutely no ratings or reviews on Google whatsoever. His single paged website (sporting a portrait of someone who looked like he was fresh out of high school) looked like it was put together by an amateur and generally only outlined the type of cases he specialized in.   He notably surpassed two deadlines in the court procedures, and when I submitted a full written statement detailing how I'd been defrauded and explaining the evidence I had, his written defense response was "I am seeking to have this complaint dismissed. The plaintiff is not entitled to anything. The defendant denies all accusations as presented by the plaintiff." Signature, stamp. No counter explanation, no attempted alibi, no rebuttal, no loophole maneuvers, zero effort--didn't even bother to get a copy the criminal case.   Clearly, this isn't someone who has been paid their 300 euros or so to invest their best effort into seriously representing a client needing legal defense--and I'm thinking it's because he's overworked with numerous other clients handed to him by the insurance provider.   It has me worried because I myself have been paying for legal insurance for the past 4 years. I am quite sure that if someone were suing me and I asked for legal defense, I would be pretty livid if they sent Joe Schmoe who passed the bar last July to defend me by saying "My client didn't do it. Motion to dismiss the case!"   Has anyone here used a lawyer provided by legal insurance? And would you recommend using that, or simply paying for a decent attorney out of pocket?
  8. How to react if black sports stars are abused by fans

    I agree completely with the entire team leaving the field if people are going to be shouting racial abuse.   It's similar to a rock concert I went to where someone threw an unidentified object at the lead singer on stage--the lead singer immediately stopped the music and clearly said "If you throw one more thing at me or at my band, the show WILL be over--I don't care if we just started 10 mins ago and I don't care how much you paid to come see us!"   And surprise...nothing else was thrown for the rest of the show. The same should be said for the football games--start with the monkey noises and racial slurs, and the players will hit the showers, and everyone else can just hit the pubs and talk about wasted €60 everyone each spent and didn't even get to see any playtime because some assholes couldn't keep their bigoted sentiments to themselves.
  9. It's only fair--I should out myself for asking someone something undiplomatic without thinking.   Again this was back in the US, and my coworker brought a small child to work in her office. I made some comment I can't remember, and my coworker said, "Yeah, that's my granddaughter."   This woman didn't sport a single wrinkle or gray hair, and I exclaimed "No kidding! You look pretty young for a grandma, I didn't think you were any older than 35 at the max! You gotta tell me what your secret is!" The woman gave a hopeless sigh, shook her head in despair, and changed the subject.   I later learned from another co-worker that the child's mother was only 14. Oops.    
  10. I'm more appalled that you think it's okay to walk up and ask total strangers personal questions about matters that have nothing to do with you...and that they owe you a polite answer on top of it.   MYOB. It's not rocket science. (But then again, I live in Berlin, maybe it's different where you are)  
  11.   So I'm strolling along and see a white guy and a black girl sitting at a table having lunch. I walk up to them, eye them suspiciously, and start with the following dialogue:   Me: You two are just work colleagues, right? Guy: Who are you, and what difference does it make to you? Me: I just think you need to stay with your own race. And if the lovely young lady had any pride in herself, she would understand why what she's doing is self degrading.   Me: (20 mins later, holding a bloody rag to my nose while a paramedic is applying a bag of ice to my head) I had the right to tell them what was on my mind, officer! Even if they didn't want to hear it!   Alternative scenario: I'm walking by and see a white guy sitting with a black child on a park bench.   Me: (Continue walking while keep my big mouth shut, and minding my own business. Everyone goes home happy)   Get where I'm going with this?   And for the record...I don't think I owed her ANY "truthful" answer to her prying question.
  12. Back in the US: My roommate was a Japanese student and she had a 7 year old daughter. From time to time, I would watch her kid for obvious reasons.   I had her for an afternoon, and had taken her to a mall to do some shopping. As we're sitting on a bench eating ice cream, some woman in her 60s passes by me, stops and eyes us like we're two teenagers inside a bar, and asks, "You're just babysitting her, right?" I snap back, "Who are you and what difference does it make to you?" She walks away saying, "People should adopt within their own racial lines. That poor thing is going to grow up so messed up and confused."     And in other cases, I think it's incredibly rude to ask someone "So when are you going to go back to (home country)?" as though you don't belong outside your native country. And I have had people ask me this before
  13. How NOT to begin a new job

    Screenwriter Harlan Ellison landed a dream writing scripts for Disney.   He was fired 4 hours into his job after the CEO and some executives overheard him in a cafetaria joking with his new colleagues about making a Disney porn movie, and explicitly describing what each popular Disney character would be doing to each other in said film.
  14. Schadenfreude

    If I were one of the girls, I would have convinced them all to use any excuse to stroll past their house at least 3 times a day, even if it were completely out of the way.
  15. Schadenfreude

    I'll give you a couple that doesn't involve laughing at innocent people being injured.   My first one: Someone I know back in America was caught downloading child pornography. After all was said and done, he was sentenced to 7 years in prison. Fair enough?   (...hahaha...) While serving his prison sentence, the correctional officers searched his cell for contraband and found a notebook full of graphic sexually explicit drawings of children. Unbeknowst to him, that actually violated American laws against obscene material--even though no real people were involved. He was charged and slapped with another 9 years consecutive to the 7 he was already serving. Ouch.   And here is my personal favorite: Matt Hale. The leader of a Neo Nazi church where he openly uses vile racial slurs, calls anyone who isn't white "mud people" and field beasts, says that starving African children should be eradicated, and even praised a low lifer who went on a  unprovoked shooting spree targeting minorities. He made the news after the state of Illinois refused to grant him a law license even though he passed the bar due to his savage racism.   (...hahahaha) The feds were tired of hearing his shit constantly, whining on the news outlets and talk shows about how he was being kicked around by the Jews, so the FBI lured one of his followers into becoming an informant for them. They sent him under surveillance, and he offered to kill a federal Jewish judge that ruled against him in a trademark lawsuit. Hale didn't actually say yes or specifically agree, he said "Well, that's up to you if you want to go that route, I'm not going to personally get involved with dumping her body or evidence, etc. Just be careful if you're serious about doing that."   It was all the FBI needed to secure an arrest...a conviction...and a nasty 40 year sentence that he has tirelessly been trying the past 17 years to fight. Oh, and he's exhausted all of his appeals, and the Supreme Court isn't interested in hearing his case.   </antisocial> </tickledpink>