SS Dave

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About SS Dave

Profile Information

  • Location Australia
  • Nationality Aussie
  • Hometown Canberra
  • Gender Male
  • Year of birth 1960
  1. What made you laugh today?

    A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 3 times I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It worked! The headaches are all gone." "Well, that is wonderful," replies the husband. His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, She's not my wife! She's not my wife! She's not my wife!" His funeral service will be held on Saturday.
  2. What made you laugh today?

    Saw a van that was covered in dirt at local shopping centre & someone had written "I wish my wife was as dirty as this van." So I wrote;  "She is...when you are at work!"
  3. What made you laugh today?

    "Dad, can I have some money?" asked my 13-year-old son today as he headed for the door. I said, "It depends, where are you going?" "To see a girl." he replied. "Yeah, that's my boy" I winked, handing him a 50 "And who exactly is this girl?" "She's the cashier at the Bottle-mart where I buy my booze." he replied.