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About notfromhere

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  • Location Westend, FFM
  • Nationality British
  1. I've been in Germany for many years now, and I have a german wife, and a 1 year old daughter. I'm British and since last year also German (due to Brexit...) My marriage to my wife has been very rocky almost immediately after she fell pregnant. We argue way too much and intensively. The dynamic has also changed with her family, especially now that we have a little girl, the MIL loves interfering more than she needs too, which doesn't help things. In the last few months, I've unfortunately been thinking divorce is looking more inevitable. I'm interested in knowing a few things first from people who have gone through similar experiences in Germany. My wife and I have a prenup, that basically covers my asset (a flat I own in Germany), and her pension (as I don't have one). I freelance, my wife is an employee. She has kept her maiden name. We don’t have joint bank accounts.     In the case of a divorce, how is the time of each separated parent normally allocated to a baby/young child?  How could I ease the transition for my daughter to having two parents with different lives? For those divorced and with children, how do you organise holidays and trips to your homeland with your ex/Jugendamt? My wife and I share a flat we bought together, so if I were to move out before selling the flat, is it advised to keep up my share of the mortgage payments if my wife were to live in our flat when I'm no longer there? When it comes to splitting up the finances, is the length of the marriage taken into consideration? My wife and I are married for less than 3 years. Does the nationality of the child play a role? My daughter is dual nationality (DE-UK). I assume under nearly all circumstances young children have their main residency with their mother, but can this be somehow split? I'd like to at least move out into a 3-Zimmer flat so my daughter has her own room, and my place is just as much her home as with her mother (so an approx. 50-50 split, if possible). Going through divorce proceedings, I’d like to at least offer my readiness, if necessary, to be the sole carer although I concede this probably won't be a real possibility. I understand that this may be irrelevant in the eyes of a court, but my wife would have a lot of support from her parents 150km away and her sister about 40km away, not to mention her network of friends here. I'm not fishing for sympathy, just want to state that I’m on my own in Germany with many of my friends elsewhere. So I unfortunately won’t have any local support from family at least. Would this also be taken into consideration from a Jugendamt/court? Would it be advised to launch divorce proceedings from the UK, if possible? We own a flat together. I assume that this would be split 50-50 once sold. What about other claims for finance; could my wife claim half my earnings since the time that we were married? I’m of course prepared to finance my daughter, but I don’t like the idea of financing more than required for my wife after a divorce.    Would be interested in hearing your thoughts and to know if there is anything else to consider.