I really feel for you elle_hd.
As a single dad stuck here in Germany because of very similar circumstances, it does get lonely here and the longer you are in Germany, the less "American" you are and yet are never German. I speak fluent German and until recently had a dog and day for day, I would say hello to joggers on the dog walk every morning and even after 5+ years, never got a hello back from the majority of them and have heard similar stories from others so it's not me.
Meetup.com is nice simply to meet like minded ex-patriots sometimes. If you want to chat, send me an mail as well.
I would like to share a poem by a Turkish author:
Every day I pack my suitcase and then unpack it again.
In the morning when I wake up, I plan to return, but by noon I get more used to Germany.
I change and yet remain the same and do not know who I am.
Every day the homesickness becomes more irresistible, but the new home holds me tight every day even more.
And every day I drive two thousand kilometers in an imaginary train back and forth,
undecided between the wardrobe and suitcase, and in between is my world.
by Alev Tekinay, Adelbert-von-Chamisso-Förderpreis 1990