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About AfricanGal

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  • Location Munich
  • Nationality Ugandan
  • Gender Male
  • Year of birth

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  1. I know this is a point of risking to shoot in the air, but I am gonna give it a go as it can not stop lingering in my head. Also as I am certain my chances of being succeful at it are so slim, as that Is the lifestyle here in Munich.Also to clarify, I have checked topics and I cannot seem to find something related to this, so i created a new topic. It is difficult or even close to impossible to find a family(as an expat, I mean friends to talk to, have fun as family lives away), apart from getting involved in several activities, that may not suit your schedlue, especially if you are a parent, and even when you get involved in these activities, chances of making connections that can actually become slim are so low as everyone is caged into themselves, leave alone leave right after the activities with no connecting. I have been in Mother-Baby meet-ups but women fail to open up or socailise with each others and keep themselves busy, I have joined Gym, yoga, meditation classes and a rückbildungskurs, where everyone would just pick up they bags to leave right after the activity.. So I find it both fake and unnatural,, and really difficult to create like minded connections. Or a friendship that has a chemistry where you can have fun together and talk and laugh about stuff, and be able to open up, and not lock up feelings. The only chance I had was one day I was loast and wandering at Marienplatz with my baby, and an old lady was observing me, so she invited me for tea, and we kept contact- I myself am very careful at who I open up to, though I am very open, fun, and can strike a conversation when someone else gives the same, but imagine striking conversations with people who wont come out of their cage to be expressive, which are mainly the acquaintances i have here_and Oh, we meet every other five months, even when they live less than 10minutes from me, and surely that is if i have opened up to invite them. It is such a buggage. Anyway, with this old lady we connected and we are such great friends, unfortunately, she lives in Düsseldorf. She visits me sometimes and I see that she would be such great help right from having someone to talk to, to someone who helps you with the kids, to some bit of houseworks, or even doing your housework, making dinner, while someone else is chilling in your sitting with the kids(Now you got not to be bothered by children). Why not a Babysitter? I find this whole concept of Babysitters eeehhhmmm... Somehow, I dont think I can manage a whole life long paying 15 euros and hour to a babysitter to go have a night out at a party while she chilling on my couch watching Netflix, My children are such great sleepers in the night, and not much work during the day. Also I would like to create a relationship with someone before I bring them into my childrens life, I need to know them, and to be able to really trust them, and I need to be sure they are staying. So i have a big issue hiring babysitters.   What´s my point?   My point is I am looking for something like a Godmother, LeihOma, a friend, Family friend, a woman/Family that wishes too have the excitement of kids around them for sometime(This is definitely not something constant-So I am not looking for someone to load the buggage of my kids with): But to get together, have dinnes together, I cook for you in my home, in your home, we help each other.   The idea is more of godparents. A chosen adult who genuinely goes out of their way to make a child special..Oh it sucks to have a home away from home, with no family or freinds(Now I have come to write about this, as a group of women into which I am seem to all be struggling with the same, from having no physical, emotional help and no one to talk to,, to having it difficult to create freinds. Its also very surprising that we have failed to come together to find out own tribes-Probably because everyone is busy with their jobs, and Kids, or because it is the structure of the life here? No Idea) So can I am looking to find someone who can fulfill that special role. A God parent and a friend of sorts. My family and all friends live in Uganda, and since I moved here 4 years ago, I just have failed to make friends, or create my own tribe. I mean, I know some people, but I mean,they either do not get in touch, are so busy, or the friendship is that smothered friendship of "Oooh I am so fine, all is well..." even when you see them on the verge of breaking down, and genervt from taking care of the kids. You ask, if you need help, let me know, non reaches out even when they clearly need the help, so that closes out the chances of creating a tribe.   I have so often wished it were possible and easy to make friends here, but unfortunately it is all way different from where i come from, and I have come to accept the difference. I have so wished to have a grown up woman structure in my life, currently that I have children and doing everything by myself.  I've thought maybe I could volunteer at senior home and meet some nice old folks looking for grandkids there. It would be funny if there were family finding sites like dating sites, but that would probably open up a whole new set of complications, to which are actually available,, but they all come with a price, That I am even avoiding. I am so happy to volunteer, help back, do roles in return, but I also wish for something deeper than a babysitter. Well, Off I shoot my letter in the airrrrr haha.   And Oh, I am 30, currently separated from ex husband, with two children of 4 and 2 years. Girl and Boy, who are very very very sweet and adorable.   I am happy about any kind of contribution and feedback,
  2. I do love this comment and every single letter, word or truth in it.
  3. Sewing classes in Munich

    I wish I had the chance to sell it, because it was worth some money, unfortunately I gave it to ex husband to take it to his father to repair it and he just threw it away..
  4. Sewing classes in Munich

    Which machine do you use @Bron, or you have any that you would recommend? I have been using a machine from the DDR, which was quite strong and good, but wanted to adjust to somethinf mordern, that can make together overlock, and buttonhole, however, many ,achines seem so weak and slow, something for beginners. I bought a singer brilliance, and it keeps swallowing threads. Can you please recommend me a relatively cheap(I know for a good one I have to invest) but strong and competent machine? Thank you, Aliya.
  5. Because... One day while I went down the Keller to get my kids Kinderwagen up, my daughter rode off her bike, und weg war sie, and my son walked his way almost making it to the road, and while doing this, my neighbours who were outside just looked at them, and while my son was approaching the road and all the cars were waiting patiently, some hooting, and  me running to get him, my neighbours were busy giving me those searching and blaming eyes, like, "Where the hell are you, look your kids are going away"... So reeeeaaaallllllyyyyyy🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
  6. Mould in flat

    Go to DM and buy a cleaning spray-Like these ones for the bathroom; but this one is specifically for Schimmel, its written on SCHIMMELFREI. Spray it on the are affected with Schimmel and after the recommended minutes just clean it off with a Tuch/Küchenrolle..
  7. Which is exactly why I value taking my children back home in Africa, so many times a year. I just want them to have that taste of that life, and much as I want it, it is almost close to impossible in this country. Coz the people who are supposed to have helped us, just push us away, in referral to how nagging we-and our kids are!
  8. Tips on a slow separation for a stay-at-home mom

    I am currently separated, and also not ready to work as I am still studyin, but also my children are still so young. The thought of it is so scary but going through it? Super easy,. I was super scared of separation thinking I will not survive, but all you need here is a good lawyer, your husbands salary slips, and confirmation of separation. Your husband will have to provide for you and your child, for you, until the child is 3 years, and then further for the child, and the child´s accommodation. They calculate what he has to contribute, basing on his salary, and acoording to the Düsseldorfer Tabelle, and if you are lucky he has a good salary, you will get more than enough. From what my husband is supposed to pay to me he deducts for the kids kindergartens, rent, internet, and my ticket, and hands over the balance to me. He moved out, and finally I am making peace from the shatters of the relationship. Good Luck.
  9. I am so curious to know what kind of adult you are!
  10. Hahahahahaha... Why do I agree with you so so well?? Listen, after droppinh my children to Kindergarten, and I sit on a train, readin a book and a mother comes in with a kinderwagen, then the kid starts crying and throwing tantrums, first I get a wave of scare/fear inside of me, then I notice OOH, I am not with my kids, So I relax but again, the noise is not amazing, But i can only understand!
  11. Glad I am not the only one feeling this way!
  12.  Right. My daughter has been that type of child from day one, and i must say I didn´t really have a sweet child. It takes a lot of patience and nerves, which is why I asked OP to have some empathy. I beg my daughter every single day in a very nice tone not to cry and shout, love her relentlessly, sometimes I loose it and I break down and cry, many times I stick out my tongue and raise my middle fingers after stomping out of the room. it takes a lot of energy and nerves.   and Yes, While back home to my mother, complaining and whining, she told me we were exactly like that, no different, or even worse, I could deny it, but I knew it was the truth... So, different stages of life, different behaviours, and if I am not wrong the OP could thave been "that kid".. jokes
  13. Because all kids are different!
  14. The only thing I tell every one who is like you is; You will know better once you have kids of your own. If you are lucky and they are calm children, you are likely never to know how difficult it gets. Every parent would surely wish to have children who are calm, shout and scream less, or cry only when it is necessary. By the time you are writing this, think about how the mother herself is feeling, or what she is going through, especially that she mus thave tried and failed to keep her kid calm. Do you even know about the terrible twos? Yes, That is a period of time that normally begine from 1.5-2years through 2.5-3years, where children just scream, cry and scream and throw tantrums. And Yes, for crazier kids like this one sounds, it can even go olonger through 4/5years. Remember while being bothered that a child is waking you up at 6am, she is having a mother who went through so many sleepless nights, and still have to be awake by 6 when this kid is screaming and most likely--When you are not watching, Kicking away the bottle that is offered to her, refusing to brush her teeth, or get into clothes offered to her. Yes. this is what they do, amidst tears and screams.   I would be bothered too honestly, but I would not bring myself to open my mouth about it, or even report to the landlord, or even Toytown. i don#t know how difficult it is to get flats in your city, but here in Munich it is crazy difficult, and once you report this woman you are risking nher loosing a home for her and her kids. I would surely appreciate life if I was living alone, It is waaaaayyyy easy without the children, even if it is a neighbours kid screaming. I am a business owner, so if I wear you, if this kid woke me up at 6, I would first and foremost have so much empathy for the mother, and shift my anger and energy to other things,, make me a cup of coffee, meditate, stay positive and happy,, listen to music, see what I can do around my house, listen to music, while doing some work.   on One occasion, I was ill, tired, slept the night on the couch, I needed more sleep, my kids woke up at 6 am, and with their expectations of milk and playing with them, they started fighting and screaming, I made them milk, but they still played loudly. I was sick, tired and shattered, I got up, dressed up, dressed up kids to go out on the playground so they can not shout for neighbours like you,, and while moving ou, my neighbour came out, and told me how my children have made her sleepless and shes been out till 2am so she needs to sleep longer-Meanwhile I go out till 3 but still coz of kids, I wake up at5:45 :).. she used this tone and look of so much anger: I could understand her, but I just really did not understan her tone--Ofcourse she never greets me and stuff, I stood, studied her as she was telling me if I can make my children shut up. I finally gathered the energy to answer her, that I am sprry but while I was giving birth to my kids, I forgot the remote control to pause them or switch them off when they can shout.   2 days later I get a letter from the Jugendamt, summoning me, about how I live my kids unattended to and stuff. Long story short, from some peoples experiences, reports like this can lead a mother to loosing her children, and the pain of loosing a child(Find out about those reports on the internet) to these social workers, the pain of your children being taken away especially over such minor cases, is worse than your pain of not being able to catch some sleep. Very inense. So be patient with this woman, and shift your energy to other things, and remembering, that while she is going through this now, and super vulnerable at it, you will most likely experience the same, or have experienced the same if you have kids, and Oooh, how about you become a helping hand? Just go, knock on that door, talk to the child like; Hey, whats the matter? you know when you shout like that we canot sleep--In a very child friendly tone, and body language, that means, squatting down/getting to the child level. Or offer this mother help like baby sitting the kid instead of reporting. Yes, I know people here don´t have the zeal to open up and offer help, but you can do it, or LET IT GO! ir eve, Shift to another place! Cheers.