I can relate to this first hand. I was there yesterday. First comes the card - We dont speak english...then when asked if the opinion of the 11 year actually matters - No. they were only interested in my wife and I communicating, which is fine. We can communicate as well if my daughter lives with her father rather than her mother which is what my daughter wants. Unfortunately it is not what my wife wants...so she is stuck living with my wife that pretends to be a mother, and being bullied by her 19 year old sister who thinks she can share the role of mother with my wife. No matter what I said, the documented nights when mom left at 8pm and came home at 01:00 in the mornings and didnt answer the phone calls from my daughter wanting to know why she is home alone and various other incidents including when my daughter has to come to me to to eat dinner because there is no food in the house and yes, my wife is out again at a restaurant and the kid is left home alone. So, as I said the Jugendamt is hopeless and they really dont care what would be best for the kid or which parent the kids is better off with.