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Everything posted by Clive2677

  1. President Donald J. Trump

    Donald Trump’s impeachment trial.   His lawyer is requesting a fake noose. 
  2. President Donald J. Trump

    Please excuse if seen before.    
  3. What made you smile today?

    My four year old grandson went to bed at 7:30-ish on Christmas Eve and, about 3 hours later crept downstairs where his parents were tidying up prior to going to bed.    He looked around and exclaimed “Santa has drank his sherry already!”   Bless him.  
  4. What made you laugh today?

    I bought a turkey dinner from the supermarket  today for just £1.79, but when I opened the packaging all I saw was a few corn seeds !
  5. What made you smile today?

    My friend, a divorce lawyer, is very straight and honest. He has put up notice on his office wall... . . . . SATISFACTION GUARANTEED OR YOUR HONEY BACK!!  
  6. Jokes

    WARNING - a risque joke.     Texas Sex The Rodeo Position Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favourite sex positions. One said, "think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," said the other cowboy. "What is it ?" "Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, 'Boy, these feel just like your sister's.' Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds."  
  7. Worst jokes ever

    Guy went to the doctor with a swollen knee.  “Doctor, my knee is swollen up, can hardly walk”.   Doctor says “Sit down open your mouth and say ahhhh for me”.    Guy said “ It’s my knee why do you want me to say ahhhh?”   Doctor said “ My dog died last night”.  
  8. Jokes

    A Man walks into a bar with an amphibian on his shoulder. The bartender says “What an interesting pet, what’s his name?”  “Tiny” the man replies. “What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?” "Because he’s my newt."
  9. Why are you happy today?

    Well done, very best wishes - the hard work will be worth it.  
  10. What made you smile today?

    Sign in my local hospital; “From all of us here at the Dermotology Department - Merry Eczemas”.🎄
  11. Why are you happy today?

    I agree with your first sentence but am saddened that British people will become foreigners in EU.    Christmas dinner in 2020 is going to be a Brexit dinner - no Brussels, sadly.  
  12. Why are you happy today?

    Go for it.  Enjoy.   You’re worth it. 😘