Clive2677

Don’t fire until you see the white of their eyes.  

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.   Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"   The man replied, "Yep, sure do."   Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"   "Nope, sure ain't," said the man.   Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"   The man calmly replied, "Been married to your blessed sister for over 48 years."

  Try reading a real book and avoid alcohol for an hour before going to bed.  That and exercise may help.  Good luck. 

https://www.smh.com.au/national/nsw/how-a-quick-thinking-university-student-tricked-thieves-into-appearing-on-cctv-20190417-p51f6o.html     How a quick-thinking university student tricked thieves into appearing on CCTV

An eye-witness who saw the fire starting says he has a hunch.

   

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-47940239   Dog rescued 220km from Thai coast by rig workers. 

Deleted.  Rather controversial 😇

Three drunk Guys get into a Taxi, the Driver, realising how wasted they all were, thought he'd pull a fast one on them... He just turned his engine on for 30 seconds then turned it off. "Here you are guys, we're here" The first drunk got out and paid his money, the second drunk also got out and paid his money... But as the third drunk got out, he smacked the Taxi Driver in the mouth... Shocked because he thought he'd got away with actually travelling nowhere he asked the third drunk " What the Hell  was that for?"... The third drunk replied" Next time, watch your speed, you nearly had us killed"

It gets better after about 40 seconds.      https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-london-47914973/st-pancras-piano-man-s-video-with-cats-star-vocal-goes-viral   91 year old bringing joy to travellers.     

Whatsthelongbuttonatthebottomofthekeyboardfor?