wien4ever

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About wien4ever

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  • Location Germany
  • Nationality USA
  • Gender Male

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  1. Legal Responsibilities as Legal Father vs Biological Father?

      The main motivation is that the state doesn't want to be stuck paying the bill for raising the child. The state must then assign a provider - anyone really. So the rule is to avoid the state having to pay for the children of irresponsible men. 
  2. Legal Responsibilities as Legal Father vs Biological Father?

    Dear OP,   some people lose their spouses to accidents, others to illness, and some to mental health issues, and some to personality issues. Who knows if your wife is mentally unfit, but you can look at it that way. It's not your fault, some times sh!t just happens and you lose your spouse to unexpected situations. There are plenty of good women out there, don't spend your life tagging along with crazy, it's not worth it and it will get old really quick. Consider it a blessing, that it happened this way, where the option to leave is clear, and that it happened relatively early in your relationship, and not later in the relationship when you might be entangled to her with your own (biological/adopted/willfully accepted) children and a mortgage. This is an opportunity for a clean break away. You can recover from this - there is a whole world waiting for you. Sticking around with that women will only bring you more pain and trouble. Life is short - you need to make the most of it. Nobody would judge you for leaving. We all support you on that decision.    1) separate - find a monthly rented apartment or better yet rent a room. 2) talk to a lawyer, file for divorce and make sure you are not given paternity 3) cut off contact, maybe even have the lawyer intermediate communications     Good luck, and take care of yourself. A new better chapter of your life is ahead of you.
  3. How many colds can one get in a season?

    Yes I've been sick for 3+ weeks non-stop... can't shake the darn thing off me!   It's horrible, I almost made it through winter without getting sick until now.
  4.   There's also a special kind of paint for tiles... so you don't have to remove them.  I am thinking about doing this to my own bathroom and kitchen wall tiles.      
  5. Thanks, I didn't think about the Brutto/Netto or the travel costs! 
  6. Can anyone tell me what is the significance and difference between hiring an Electrician who has a "Meisterbetrieb" and one that doesn't ? I have been looking at quotes on MyHammer.de as well as local electricians and I see some mentioning "Meister" and others not. If I want somebody to install new electrical fuse box, circuit breakers, sockets, switches and cables (basically a full renovation), do I need to stick with Meister labeled electricians only? I have searched in German all over the web but it's not clear to me what is important to look out for. I don't want to hire someone who does the work and find out it is not given approval because it was not done by a Meister.    For example, I see this description:   Qualifikationen und Mitgliedschaften Mitglied der Handwerkskammer YYY (Betriebsnummer: xxxxx) Gesellenbrief (Elektroniker/ in) Zeugnsi: berufs- und arbeitspädagogische Qualifikation Urkunde: Kaufmännischer Fachwirt (HWK) Teilprüfungszeugnis vor dem zuständigen Meisterprüfungsausschuss: Elektrotechniker- Handwerk   I should probably ask about proof of certificates and insurance coverage before accepting an offer. Anything else I should be aware of? 
  7. All Boeing 737 MAX Aircraft Grounded

    Interesting blog post from a pilot about it:   https://philip.greenspun.com/blog/2019/03/11/conventional-to-have-a-200-hour-copilot-on-a-boeing/    
  8. Pregnant without legal status in Germany

    I really enjoy the advice and debate around TT threads. But I have to say, after seeing this thread and many others, there is a level of pervasive toxicity in TT in general that turns any thread into a battle zone. There is a lack of comradery, a lack of humor, a tendency to be easily outraged by others, a lot of 'besserwisser' competitiveness (what for? is your ego that important? are you being paid for these posts?). And it does not matter if it comes from someone with 10k+ green votes or just 10 green votes (as if that really matters?). It's all toxic. And it's really sad.   It is really something I do not find in other forums. Whether this is a reflection of this forum or of being germanized into German culture, I do not know. Or maybe it is a real lack of proper moderation of the forum and letting the senior posters run rampant.
  9. Street checked by die Polizei

      Bad boys Bad Boys... watcha gonna do? watcha gonna do when they come for you???    
  10. German citizen in USA wants money from here in Germany

      As my great grandma said "Never underestimate the power of the vagina!"     I can understand why he'd be upset,  but it was all a gift, and there was no contract, so he cannot claim it back. Unfortunately, love makes you do stupid things. It's a good lesson for the both of you.   I think he feels he got burned pretty badly and is going full German mode on you.   I've heard of a German guy who owns a house and charges his girlfriend rent (!). Only in Germany.     
  11. Pregnant without legal status in Germany

    Sorry, maybe not a popular comment, but at three weeks, what about considering an abortion?  Really tough, but I don't see any other way out of this mess. But do it quickly if you do decide...  
  12. What are you cooking today?

    I made French toast - it is so easy and simple. Much easier than pancakes and works great with a big bread loaf that is starting to get dried-out/stale (I hate to waste food):    
  13. Divorcing in Germany with a young child

    @OP  you can read some summaries about divorce and child child support in Germany compared to US and other countries here: http://www.realworlddivorce.com/International   some excerpts:   Germany Carola Offenhausen, a 2001 honors graduate of Heidelberg University (founded 1386!) who has been handling family law cases since 2003 answered our questions about the system in Germany. Her office is in Baden-Baden (www.kanzlei-braitsch.de). Unlike in the U.S. there is no state-to-state variation in family law or child support amounts. Unlike in some Scandinavian countries, Germans must go to court in order to obtain a divorce and "at least one party needs a lawyer because only a lawyer is allowed to file for divorce with the court," said Offenhausen. However, a divorcing German couple need not embark on a custody or child support war; informal agreements regarding children and their associated expenses are common. A typical German divorce takes a minimum of about 16 months: "You cannot file for divorce unless you've been separated for at least one year and the other person agrees." said Offenhausen. "Then the legal process typically takes a minimum of four months." Are people who don't like each other anymore but still live in the same house "separated"? "Yes," said Offenhausen, "but, for example, they can't eat meals together and one spouse is not allowed to wash clothing for the other. The expression is 'separated from table and bed'." What if one person wants a divorce and cannot persuade the other spouse to agree? "Then there must be three years of separation if the reasons for the break up of the marriage cannot be proved." If one person wants to drag things out how long can a divorce last? "It could be up to five or six years," responded Offenhausen. ... Is there a way to shortcut the one-year separation period? "Yes, in cases of particular hardship," said Offenhausen. "For example, a spouse can file for divorce immediately with an allegation of domestic violence. He or she needs to go to a doctor for evidence, then to the police, and it is quite easy to get a restraining order in one week." As in the U.S., there is an opportunity to defend against the order in a future hearing. How successful are litigants who make false allegations? "Good liars can do very well in this system," Offenhausen responded. "And though domestic violence is not a factor in the divorce it is very helpful for getting custody." Germany has a U.S.-style temporary orders process whereby one spouse can get the house, the children, and a cash flow: "If it can be proved that the case is urgent,  e.g. children are homeless, mother and children have no income at all, this is possible within 1-3 weeks." ... As in Switzerland and Denmark (below), in the case of disputed custody the mother in Germany is nearly always the winner. However, unlike in Switzerland and Denmark this is not due to a statutory preference for mothers. German courts award custody to mothers using the same rationale as courts in most U.S. states: "There is a principle of continuity, which means that normally the parent that shared the most time with the child is in advantage. Typically this person is the mother so most children from divorced families live with their mothers." How often do these children see the father? "The other parent can have contact every second weekend," responded Offenhausen. What does "most children" mean? In 12 years of handling family law cases Offenhausen had never seen a father awarded either 50/50 or primary custody from a court. "Parents can agree on a 50/50 schedule or for the father to have custody," Offenhausen added. What would induce a mother to give up the opportunity to collect millions of dollars in child support? "It isn't possible to collect more than the top of the table absent special needs or private school," said Offenhausen. The "table" means the "Düsseldorfer Tabelle" and provides for, at a maximum, 508 euro per month for children age 0-5, 503 euro per month from age 6-11, and 682 euro per month for ages 12-17. As of May 2015 this works out to about $6,643, $6,578, or $8,184 per year, not too different than neighboring Denmark's numbers (below). As in the U.S., child support revenue is the same regardless of whether the parents were married. As in some U.S. states, the child support formula does not depend on the custodial parent's income: "it is generally irrelevant if the mother earns 25,000 or 1,000 euro per month." Courts can make an exception if the custodial parent earns many times the income of the non-custodial parent. Another exception to using the numbers from the table is shared parenting: "50/50 physical custody (Wechselmodell) is very rare in Germany. Only if there is a real Wechselmodell (it has to be 50/50; 45/55 is not enough to change the method of calculation from the Düsseldorfer Tabelle) the child support is calculated differently. It is a complicated calculation method based on both incomes and considering the costs for day care. ...   Child support is potentially payable through the completion of a first university degree, i.e., age 26 or 28. However, "if the child is over 18, the money has to be paid directly to the child," said Offenhausen. Child support revenue is less secure than in many U.S. states because German courts will not order the paying parent also to purchase life insurance. There is the potential for a custody and child support flow to be reversed when a child wants to live with the other parent or if it can be shown that continuing to live with the custodial parent is "against the child's well-being." "Before the child turns 14, the judge can hear the child, but is not obliged to do so. Normally the judge will consider the child's opinion before his or her decision. But in the end the court has to decide in behalf of the child's well-being (Kindeswohl) and this is often not identical with the child's preference." If children are not profitable in Germany, what about the profitability of a short marriage? "Before 2009 it was possible for a wife to get alimony for her entire life," said Offenhausen. "Today, however, the wife who wants alimony has to prove that she had a disadvantage due to the marriage. Suppose that the wife was a nurse before marriage and after the break up she has the possibility to work in this job again. She has not been disadvantaged. Suppose that the wife was a computer specialist before marriage and had to abandon to work at this job to stay home with the baby for 10 years. After marriage she cannot return at her job because work in the computer field has totally changed. Then she has a disadvantage and will get compensation."" For how many years? "The length of alimony is supposed to depend on the length of the marriage but it is up to the discretion of the judge," responded Offenhausen. "In a marriage of more than 20 years it might be possible to get alimony for life. In a 'short marriage' of only 6 or 7 years then possibly for just one year."
  14. None of my business but buying a ~500k home with a 1600 monthly mortgage with the plan on selling it before 10 years sounds really risky to me. Not to mention being an expat on top of that situation... 
  15. Some words of advice:   #1 - you are having feelings which is completely normal for a young man not to mention less experience (you are young! so by definition ought to have little experience) and cultural background #2 - the female posters here are jumping the gun a bit on being judgemental, so don't take them too seriously or anyone's advice too seriously here #3 - after her break up, this young woman is probably seeking a little validation and/or friendship with other males to different degrees (perhaps flirtering with men online and at social events, found a dance partner to distract herself, and hanging with the male roomate who is readily around). This is also normal - and why the friend zone is a typical thing many males experience. #4 - if she wants anything she will start laying it thick on you - meaning touching you,  etc. otherwise just consider that she just wants company and nothing more (in other words she is bored! oh my dinner date just canceled  - at least there is romance comedy to watch with Mohammed!) #5 - the roommate situation is something you don't want to mess with... find another girl - do online dating. At least when you meet women this way, you both know the purpose of your social interaction   Don't be like Chris Rock said "a dick in a glass case"...  believe me don't play that game!! -  it is not worth it!  The man always loses - 99% of time she will turn you down.     If you need a good laugh about your situation, just watch this clip - he basically broke it down better than anyone else: