NativeFraulein

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  1. School Employs Nappy Changer

    The article did not specify...but are the children concerned to be of a Special Education background? If this is the case, then I can understand the need to hire a nappy changer. Most kids under the SpEd spectrum will eventually be independent toilet users but developmentally need more time.    While I was still working in a kita here, I toilet trained a five year old little boy. It was a sad situation really because the Mom was too scared to just get started and the German staff didn't want to try and train because the boy was special needs. This boggled my mind and so I took the responsibility and went with it. Training the little fella took maybe three weeks.   Makes you wonder where the skills and motivation are really missing in these situations.  
  2. Ageism and sexism in Germany

      I stand corrected. I knew about the Elterngeld but not about the Elternzeit. What the OP should know is that for us foreign workers it tends to take a really long time to get those two sorted. My baby is 6 months and I finally just started getting Elterngeld and Kindergeld. I swear those people wanted proof of everything and asked for everything short of my left leg.
  3. Ageism and sexism in Germany

      I would be ok with the 3 years too---if it was extended equally to men (as it is in places like Sweden.) However, as far as I can tell a Father will get about 4 months of paid Elternzeit. My husband is currently an admin for the municipality in which we live and because he is new he doesn't plan to take paternity leave at all. I began learning German in middle school and high school and then didn't use it until I moved here almost 6 years ago. I always liked the German language and so I became fluent quickly through self study. Now I am taking a C1 class with the intention of taking a C1 exam soon. My employer has asked for this and I am happy to do it.   Even though you can get far with only English in IT, in a place like Berlin, I would strongly advise you to make yourself competitive and useful by learning German as fast as you can. The more effort you put into learning and using the language the more success you will have. In big cities like Berlin it can be really easy to go easy on the German language learning but in places like where I live; German gives you a definate advantage.
  4. Ageism and sexism in Germany

    I hope that I can help answer both parts of your question from limited and lived experience.   My German husband has a BA in Computer Science and has been working in the IT field for about a decade. After seven years at his former employer, where he worked as an admin for a medium sized company he found a new position closer to home. I was astounded by the constant intrest in his resume and the flow of interested employers. I don't think this is always the case, particularly for (foreign) newcomers but I can still see a bright future in IT in Germany. This is especially true if you continue to train yourself after completing your formal education and find a niche or special skill.    IT has always been a more male dominated field, my husband for example said that there were only three women in his entire degree program. ...So the question is, if need be can you be 'one of the boys' and no matter what can you develop a thick skin towards the behaviour and commentary that might come your way (I have trouble with this.)   About working while pregnant and subsequent maternity leave. Now this topic I know all too well---I am currently in my seventh month of maternity leave.   I have been a teacher for about ten years and employed with the same school for about three. Once I revealed that I was expecting I began to feel the long shadow of being an sudden outcast. I had always been the go to teacher, very competent and willing to work---which I did until the summer holidays---I was 7.5 months along by that time. I said 'yes' to everything and proved myself competent. I never used my pregnancy to get special benefits.   It's wrong and sometimes downright sexist but my experience has been that your colleagues and admins start to regard you as someone who could 'leave at any time'. I was not consulted for my ideas or about changes that could occur. This was really unexpected and hurt (still does.) I am in maternity leave now and communication is like pulling teeth. I am ambitious as ever but it is met with silence. I feel like sometimes women have children get slammed with a 'just a mama' once they give birth. Worse yet, many people will assume that you are going to prolong your maternity leave and benefits by having a second child within a two year time frame. Now...I do know a few women who have done this...but it really sucks if you are like me and this is not the plan.  I would think about how having a child might affect your career trajectory.    Germany is a very curious place. Yes, if you become pregnant you are protected under the law and yes you normally will get 65% of your salary for a year. Your position must be held for you for around three years. Here is what I have found in reality, which isn't as sweet: some people will act almost as if the resent you. For example I was asked: `did you plan this?' because my due date corresponded so closely to the start of the new academic year.  Many women won't say it but I think they feel a subtle pressure to get back to work sooner than later, even if they are not financially compelled to do so. Hence the crazy competition to get a child enrolled into Kindergarten...   I hope this helped.
  5. Mom & Baby (or expecting Moms) Group?

    Hi everyone,   Well DD is now 6 months and we would like to meet  other English speaking families. Is anyone still up to meet?
  6. Pregnant without legal status in Germany

     I saw this thread a few days ago and kept quiet because I wasn't sure I could provide a full answer.   I bet the unemployed, valid visa-less, side chick really thinks she hit the lotto with this pregnancy.    Wrong.   A baby is a blessing but not every baby can be an anchor.     I have been here for 5 years and on a work visa the entire time (even though I am married to a German.) I just had my two year Auslanderbehörde appointment yesterday. To my surprise,my appointments will now be every three years because I have baby with an echter Deustcher man and now even he has to show up and prove that he is who he says he is LOL.   Once your child is born you will have to prove paternity anyway .   I cannot imagine what this would be like if I were not married or worse had an unplanned pregnancy without any kind of status.   I wish the baby the very best in medical care and happiness but this whole situation is messed up. I feel sorry for the German wife too---because she will find out sooner or later. OP it's going to be painful, but tell your wife now about what has happened.     OP I would contact your krankenkasse and see if there might be some way or loophole that might allow you to add your unborn child to your insurance---some sort of premptive way to claim paternity. My next stop would be to seek advice from the family sector of your local Burgeramt and if they cannot help onto an immigration attorney. Your girlfriend is educated so why hasn't she tried to get a job in any sector? At the very minimum she would then have access to the social services network. I am not saying this entirely ethical, but at only three weeks pregnant she still has time to find work and then reveal her pregnancy at a later date.   
  7. First Ever German Dentist Appointment

    Ok I did it!   A whole filling was taken out and new composite filling put in. Unfortunately, the cavity is deep and I am likely still on my way to a root canal, not my first I am afraid. That tooth,...well it no longer exists.   Another small cavity was found and so I am on my way back next week and in June I will start with regular cleanings.   Was it painful? A little, I asked to be numbed before getting an injection and that helped. It's no pleasant...but it's not labour and child birth :)
  8. First Ever German Dentist Appointment

      That's exactly the plan, my German husband also wants to get back to regular dental visits. When I think back on it, I am really grateful that my parents spent their not so plentiful money on massive amounts of dental care for my brother and I when we were kids. I wouldn't let DD go a year without dental care let alone ten, 
  9. First Ever German Dentist Appointment

      This is a great question. Back in 2008 when I had all my wisdom teeth and one 'hyper sensitive' tooth taken out. This was in the USA. I was under laughing gas and twilight anesthesia. I think I was given the laughing gas first (unplanned) because my blood pressure reading was high...not sure. I don't remember much except sleeping, hearing the teeth being extracated and not caring. I wish I could go to that level again on Friday. :)
  10. First Ever German Dentist Appointment

      Thank you :)
  11. Did B2 for citizenship - worth doing C1 or C2 now?

      According to the course teacher, whenever you can go for the Goethe certificate. The TELC is known as the 'easiest' and therefore 'lowest' exam and isn't recognized everywhere.  Here is the book I am using for my current C1 VHS course:    https://www.buecher.de/shop/dazdaf/sicher-c11-kurs-und-arbeitsbuch-mit-cd-rom-zum-arbeitsbuch-lektion-1-6/perlmann-balme-michaela-schwalb-susann/products_products/detail/prod_id/41840102/
  12. First Ever German Dentist Appointment

    Thank you everyone so far for sharing your  responses and experiences on this thread. Some of them aren't so nice, but dentist visits are sometimes like that. I am not looking forward to my appointment at all. They can chastise me for not visiting sooner but I just know some of these old fillings are about to go   I called a few offices this morning and because I am not in pain I will have to wait for a bit.  I was able to secure an appointment for this Friday with the Romanian dentist a few blocks away from my home. The other places I called wouldn't see me until March. His reviews on Jameda were positivé.   I am in Duisburg NRW by the way   I hope I don't have anymore events this week...I see a lot of soup in the future.
  13. I was eating breakfast with DH and DD this weekend and a small part of my tooth and old filling came out. I am lucky that the tooth is not obvious and that it doesn't hurt at all but there is a gap and an exposed filling.    I've regularly visited the doctor and even had a healthy pregnancy and baby here since 2013 but no--- I have never visited the dentist in this country. I am taking this as a message to get my shit together and start getting a professional dental care. Postpartum teeth, I am told, are particularly sensitive.   I am like many people and have some anxiety as related to the dentist and need to have numbing for any kind of treatment.   Is there anything in particular I need to expect in terms of my first appointment.  What options might I be offered for this missing tooth piece?   I am insured with TK.   Thank you
  14. Did B2 for citizenship - worth doing C1 or C2 now?

    Yes by all means do C1 and then C2. I am doing C1 now and love it beacuse it challenges me to keep mastering the German language and not become too comfortable. I enjoy the challenge and the socialization with other professional adults. Here in Germany where paper is everything you never know who will ask you to prove a very high German language competency e.g universities ask for C1 usually.  
  15. Even though my Icon pic suggests otherwise "like a good neighbour stay over there" in this case I might actually invite the neighbours to dinner or reach out in some small social way. During the context of a friendly conversation you can mention how porous the walls seem to be and that any small noise is easily heard. Ask them if they have noticed this obvious problem.