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11,973 Awesome with awesome sauce

About Techsmex

Profile Information

  • Location USA
  • Nationality Techsican
  • Gender Male
  • Year of birth

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  1. What made you smile today?

    RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE   1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake." 8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!". 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'. 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!". Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
  2. Brexit: The fallout

      yes, old proverb...   donde se come no se caga   "don't shit on your food"
  3. What are you watching right now?

    Finished watching 'Surviving Escobar: Alias JJ'       Watching Narcos now       I was in Bogota, consulting back in the day, so these movies brought back memories.
  4. Jokes

    I've been learning German for 20 years..  It's zwanzig Jahren.
  5. What are you cooking today?

    Left over turkey pot pies.
  6. What made you laugh today?

    Yummm, with some fava beans and a nice Chianti!
  7. Random pointless comments

    upside down
  8. Random pointless comments

    umop apisdn
  9. Strange facts that you never wanted to know

    If you say "Jesus" backwards it sounds like "sausage."
  10. Untrue (Alternative) facts

    There are Aliens among us and they look human.  How can you tell them apart?  If you can't breathe and swallow at the same time, you are an Alien.
  11. Things to ponder

    Full circle     
  12. What made you laugh today?

    Religious catnatics    
  13. What made you laugh today?

    Kinky cat lovers      
  14. Three-word story

    hair turning grey
  15. Three-word story

    trolls are yapping