Smaug

  "Waddling"? Around here you never see coppers on foot. They drive around in their cars even on the streets that are exclusively for pedestrians.

  Joining the KSK makes it mandatory that you pay into the German public pension system. The bad part is that it's a rip off (on average people get less out when they retire than what they pay into it). The good part is the KSK would pay half of your contribution; that makes it considerably less of a rip off.   Also, the German government has committed to make it compulsory in future to have some kind of pension scheme. I don't know much about it, but we are expected to be in a situation in which ALL self-employed people must pay into the DRV. If that happens, it'll be definitely better to be in the KSK (you pay 50%) than not (you pay 100%).

"Yes, that's definitely a hot bitch's turd you stepped on."

  I don't know when disposable paper seat covers became commonplace (in the US; I've never seen them in Europe) but I remember a scene in the film "The Breakfast Club" from 1985 in which a toilet seat paper cover is featured to comic effect, so I'd think they must have been common by then.

  That makes perfect sense. We need a little bit of habitat for wildlife in cities too. Just a couple of days ago, for example, I got super excited when I had an encounter with this beautiful creature in downtown Offenbach. As urban an environment as it gets, and yet, this gorgeous stag beetle had made its home there. The picture is taken from the sidewalk and there's a garden behind, not a plot of land left to its own devices, but still, a little oasis for wildlife. Just a year ago, very late at night, I saw a hedgehog at the very same spot, and this is an inner city area.   There's nothing in the picture to show the size of the picture I thought about putting a coin next to it for scale but I didn't want to disturb it too much. Suffice it to say that it was HUGE. I couldn't have missed it.    

Wow, that was fast, Panda! Thank you so much for clarifying that.

    https://www.lto.de/recht/nachrichten/n/fg-koeln-8k116015-spekulation-steuer-verkauf-immoblien-arbeitszimmer/  

This sounds very dodgy. Besides all the points that Metall has raised, if you cause any damage, fail to pay  the rent (thanks for the correction, @Metall), utilities, etc. how is your deposit supposed to cover those costs if the previous tenant has taken the money and run?

Don't cross post. We can see your posts regardless of what section of the forum you post in.

I am 99.9% sure the answer is 'no', but the notary could quickly confirm that for you on Monday.

  and witch-burning!

  That's called the "deregistration game". As far as I know it works, but I've never tried it myself.

  Because you only have to register within two weeks of moving, at least you won't ever have to do this more than twice a month. I would at least try snowingagain's suggestion. You go to the Wohnanmeldeamt and you tell them that you live at a hotel and you tell them that the hotel won't assist you registering. Anecdotal evidence suggests that sometimes that works.   It's unlike that someone will help you register at a place where you are not living because the fines for a false registration can go up to 50,000 euros. 

Because life in Germany is not just about finding decent Cheddar, bacon, and crips.   Heads up, TTers! Tomorrow Aldi is selling Tanqueray gin just shy of 15 eurobucks for 0.7 l. Note, that it's the 47.3% percent variety that you get at the airport and some, but not all shops, not the cheaper 43.1% version (if you are a dipsomaniac like me, you'd know these things!)   https://www.aldi-sued.de/de/angebote/wochenendaktion-ab-fr-146/detailseite-wochenendaktion-kw24/ps/p/tanqueray-14062019/   And they'll give you a bag of lemons for free, so you can even pretend you are shopping for vegetables!   This Spanish gin is also a favorite of mine (the one in the blue bottle; the pink one is drinkable but smells of bubblegum):   https://www.aldi-sued.de/de/angebote/wochenendaktion-ab-fr-146/detailseite-wochenendaktion-kw24/ps/p/larios-gin-12-oder-gin-ros-14062019/   Enjoy it responsibly!    

    Exactly! And that's why rich jet-setters buy holiday houses in London, Gstadt and Marbella, but never in Germany.