Storydale

That explains a lot about how my dad was raised.  His grandparents were Swabian, my grandfather was born in the US.  Dad never heard, "I love you," never told he had done a good job, or anything like that.  In fact, once when the car broke down, he got chewed out.  When his younger sister had an accident, it was a laugh and "isn't that just like Mary?"   Dad always made sure that we knew he loved us and that when we did well, he was proud of us.  At some point, it became very embarrassing.  Young teens don't want parents saying this in front of their friends.  Now that he's been gone for over 20 years and I'm pushing 60, these are treasured memories. Susan McC

    Oh, I bet you literally want to, but not that you actually would.  At least, I would actually want to.

I hear this on television all the time.  Unbelievable.  I hear it in news reports, from people who are supposed to be trained in using the language, for Pete's sake!  What's worse is when they think they will be correct and throw the nominative behind a preposition: They gave it to him and I.  I am so thankful for my 11th grade English teacher who explained all this to us.  I knew which was right and which was wrong, but Mr. Starnes explained about nominative objective cases. Another problem are the books that they choose for kids to read in school.  They choose books that are written from a kid's point of view, so it's written in slang and street talk.  I remember when they chose Bud, Not Buddy.  The grammar was atrocious.  It would have been all right if the dialogue was written that way with the narrative in good English, but the whole thing was a mess.  I know that the teachers didn't use it for grammar lessons or even address it.    

  I worked for a school principal who always said, "I had went..."   It was like fingernails on a chalk board to me.  Why had no-one said anything to her?  She's somewhere in upper management in the school system now.  She was a good principal, but that's what I remember most.

(FYI - Beratungspsycholgie is the term they use here, which is really a poor translation.  Everyone translates beratung as advice.  Good counselors never, ever give advice.)   When you call AOK, have your reasons in front of you.  You need more than "relatable".  If you're counselor is based in America, then they are trained in techniques that psychologists here are not trained in.  I was a counselor in the US for nearly 25 years.  I've found counseling here to be just about that far behind.  I am astounded at what I hear from people who have been in therapy telling me about their experiences and stunned at what their therapists don't know.  I worked at a school here, just a few years ago, with a gal who was telling me all about the newest thing: systems therapy!  [eyeroll].  I studied that back in the very early 80's and it wasn't considered all that new then.  I asked about the different types of systems therapy, which one she liked best.  It's taught as a blanket technique.  It's not.  There are different ways of intervening in a system and... oops.  This is not a course on systems therapy.   In fact, counseling here isn't really counseling.  It's all psychotherapy.  It isn't solution-focussed.  It's digging deep into understanding the problem.  When I take my car to the mechanic, I need it fixed.  I don't need to understand how an internal combustion engine works.  Just fix the car!  What I do need to know is how to maintain the car: change the oil, put gas in it, keep the windshield clean and regularly change the wiper blades, wash and wax it, make sure my headlights, tail lights, and blinkers aren't out, who to call if a tire blows out.  I need the sorts of things that keep it running smoothly and legally on the road.  That's counseling.  Psychotherapy is getting your engine rebuilt.  Most people don't need that, yet that's what they get here.   •You want solution-focused counseling (or whatever you want), not psychotherapy, from a licensed therapist who is trained in this.  (I'm assuming your counselor from your home is trained in what you want and qualified to take insurance payments in your home country) •You need someone who understands your native culture.  Our native culture is a large part of who we are.  Even being Western myself, I came here when I was nearly 50.  Even though I look like the people around me and sometimes there is an old fart who murmurs to me about "Schwarze" thinking I will sympathize, the young kids of color who grew up here are far more culturally German than I will ever be, even though my husband is German. •You need counseling in your mother tongue.  Communication and understanding is important in counseling.  If you are struggling for words, that doesn't double the problem you are there for, it quadruples it.  You would need a super-fluent therapist, not just in conversational language, but in more nuanced and reflective language. •Finding all the above in a man or woman here may also be an issue, if the sex of your counselor is important.  Sometimes this doesn't matter.  Sometimes it does. •Perhaps the nature of your "issue" (my students would say, "Ms. S, I got issues, you got time for me today?) is such that changing therapists mid-stream would be problematic and cause set-backs. I hope this is helpful and that you are feeling better soon.  It can be especially hard when you are far away from home.  I understand you asking here first.  I am lucky in that my husband navigates things for me with his German.  It's too hard learning a language in your 50s.  I will never be fluent.  I can get by pretty well, but anything beyond regular conversation is hopeless.  I would have asked around before making the call to AOK, too.  

Hey, Catastrophe, that looks good!  We're checking for dogs right now.  Fingers crossed! Thanks!  

Thank you for taking the time to respond.   Could you tell me more about the Allgäu route?  Where would I find more info about it? Yes, we've googled our little hearts out, looked on all those websites sites, looked at dozens and dozens of camp grounds, and read hundreds of reviews in both English and German.  We already know that dogs cost extra and that often even showers cost extra.  To be honest, I surprised that some places don't charge each time you flush the toilet.     I was hoping for perhaps a personal and specific recommendation.  "We went to this place and really liked it.  It's more about nature and less about being a resort for old people in RVs."  Nothing against old people.  I'm pushing 60, but I don't want camp in a retirement community on wheels.  That's all I see, even when my husband googles using "Zelt" in his searches.  Either that, or kids' camps.  

I need some recommendations. My German husband has never really been camping.  I've never been camping in Europe, though I brought my tent over  when I moved here.  I camped mostly in national and state parks, where there were mostly tents, shade, a bit of space between camp sites and, yes, bath houses.  I like plumbing, flush toilets, and hot showers.  What I don't like?   Restaurants, shops, and all the nonsense I see on most of the website for camp grounds over here.  Sheesh, the hotels I stay in have fewer amenities than German camp grounds.  The pictures show mostly RVs.  Blech.  That's not camping.  I am also amazed that some of the shoddy little places here charge more in low season than the most expensive Florida state park campground (and really beautiful) down in the Keys.     Okay, done griping.  I'm just disappointed that it won't be the sort of experience that I want my husband to have, beauty of nature and all that, just outside the tent.  (One time, I woke up in the middle of the night to armadillos scuffling around outside my tent.  Just on the other side of the nylon.   Scared the snot out of me.  Glad it wasn't a bear!  And the dog wasn't with me.  And I kept a clean site, too...all the food locked up in my cooler, in my truck!)   We were going to go to Slovenia in June, after Pentecost.  CoVid put an end to those camping plans, so we're looking closer to home.  We're taking the Airedale with us, too, so we need somewhere dog friendly.  We live in Bayern, but are happy to drive a bit.   Any suggestions, recommendations, ideas?   Thanks, Sus