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About LostInEurope01

Profile Information

  • Location Würzburg
  • Nationality Southern Boy
  • Hometown E-Town KY, US of A
  • Gender Male
  • Year of birth 1968
  • Interests a lot o' stuff

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  1. The link worked for me.  Cool idea, too bad I don't have little kids any more, or live in Berlin.  
  2. How can I color this?

    Damn.  Been here too long - couldn't think of the word dye ... grrr.
  3. How can I color this?

    In that case ... Perhaps a stain? https://dict.leo.org/englisch-deutsch/stain Definitely not a lacquer/varnish.  I am also not sure how well a grey plastic will take color. Use caution.
  4. Pleeeze help me - I have some question for the clever forum people

    Yeah, this one is just plain strange.  If she had asked what type of paint she could best use, then perhaps ... But the color?  One the other hand painting fuzzy plastic is just inane to begin with, IMHO.
  5. American father in difficult domestic situation

    That does change the picture some.  The more information (not dirty laundry) the better a response can be. Your sons are also US citizens.  It is just a formality of getting their birth certificates (before they are 18) and their passports, when it becomes necessary.  Your daughters are also German citizens and that is also just a formality as far as I know.   Tech support (computer?), printing operator - sounds promising.  I again second BayrischDude - get a CV together with a the help of a native speaker and get that out the door.  You might be surprised.  Techy stuff in Germany is fairly open for "furners"   Do you think you wife is going to to opt for another stay in the states?  I would assume not ... Leon G beat me to the bullet and said all that I had to say.  
  6. American father in difficult domestic situation

    Good morning Nelson G.,   as a US father of three who had to separate and divorce several years ago and who had to "go to alone" in DE so to speak, I believe to have an inkling of what you are dealing with.  Toxic is well known as well.  I am not well versed in the social services, other than the several interactions with the Jugendamt and the initial Arbeitserlaubnis that I needed back in the eighties.  I therefore have to differ to others for anything further.  I will go so far as to say that, as I understand and have experienced it, child support comes first, in particular after a change in German law that came about in the late 2000's.  Alimony should be calculated from what is left over after child support is calculated after the minimum you need personally to "survive" has been subtracted.  The Jugendamt can give you that calculation and will do so for free. I have not done any "research", but reading the above gives a somewhat worrisome picture.  You are alone (no local support network), your German language knowledge is most probably limited, as is your English (in the above).  You don't not have a regular job and the prospect of finding work in DE seems so daunting to you such that you felt you had to go back to the states to find work.  You have been here in DE for over ten years(?).  This all implies that you are having problems acclimating to Germany.  Seeing that your wife is obviously not interested in going to the states and your children cannot, being German citizens, be forced to go to the US with you (at least not without extensive legal proceedings), you are either going to have to acclimate to Germany _fast_ in order to be the father you would like to be, or you will have head back to the states and be forced to pay child support from there and not be a father other than on paper.  That is a choice, your choice.  Make it. The second choice (retreating to the states) is the easy one.  You will probably find work.  If you voluntarily pay child support and alimony, then you might saved from having the state department from breathing down your back through the local state social services.  If you don't voluntarily pay then the authorities will eventually find you and dock your pay.  Your wife will in any case most probably assume sole custody of your children and move on without you.  Your access to your children will be limited at best and only time will tell if they choose to reach out to get to know their biological father. The first choice (staying and embracing DE) is a bit more difficult, but quite rewarding.  If you play your cards right you can be the father you wish to be, perhaps save your marriage and maybe even find some form of happiness or contentment here in DE.  But, you WILL have to learn German, written and verbal.  Most need about 2 years to get fully fluent and they are usually immersed.  In order to get to up speed for a job in construction (which I did, Hilfsarbeiter Zimmerei), I only needed a few weeks though I had already taken several courses.  Don't ask me what level that was - it was twenty+ years ago.  It is daunting, but it is a hill that so many have climbed already, so ... I would say the important part is coming to terms with the fact that you have a choice to make.  Choosing to be with your children or not.  Choosing to be with you children means embracing something that you have apparently been very reluctant to embrace until now.  I believe everything else will fall into place once you have done that.   I second BayrischDude's stance that finding an apartment is indeed possible and would help on many levels.  
  7. Need help on how to handle [minor] car dispute

    Thanks @franklan.  That was a very informative post.  I'll keep a copy for future reference.
  8. Got Evicted Without Notice and Belongings Removed

    Have you considered going to the local news paper or radio station?  They might be interested and publicity might help get the gears moving.  Just a thought.  
  9. Got Evicted Without Notice and Belongings Removed

    This feels like the twilight zone.  wow.  Never heard of anything similar in DE before. Good luck and if possible let us know when and how the f****r gets his due.  It should be quite satisfying to read.
  10. Should we return to the US?

  11. Should we return to the US?

    On purpose?
  12. Should we return to the US?

    Ouch.  As a parent of the odd "screaming" child, I also take offence.  Rhetorical question, it which restaurant, in your opinion, might a family with children, that might on occasion "scream", go?  
  13. Should we return to the US?

    I didn't explicitly mention the people, but I did imply (make friends, listen, Vereine ...). I agree that the people in Germany are a bit harder to get to know, and I (and many others) have to often ground my teeth at the idiosyncrasies to be found.  Many are indeed anal, closed, humourless, etc, but those (and ooooh yes they can be found all over world) are not IMO indicative of Germany in general.  Though they indeed are or can be different, they are in my experience equally enjoyable, funny, deep, crazy, etc.  It does require that we get off our own high horse to encounter them eye to eye, on their terms (we are in their country ...) - immersion is the term I think.  But, it is worth it, at least I have profited from it.   The only thing I would blame anyone of is not truly trying (though who can judge that) and then complaining (i.e. of boredom).   Like I previously stated, it's a decision you make - to be here, or not. If a particular "thang" ain't your cup of tee, then well that's it.  To, however, broadly dis 88+ million incredible diverse people and also cite boredom in a major metropolitan city is, ... just not understandable for me.  And that is all I have tried to say.      
  14. Should we return to the US?

    Both those statements refer to the "offerings" that are indeed present, especially in the metropolitan areas in Germany or the others across the globe.  I simply find it hard to understand how one can be bored with so much "to do" in the previously named places that truly have so much to offer and to then apparently and unconditionally close themselves out to an important portion of those possibilities.  Please forgive me for the comparison and I hope you can try to not take this personally, but this discussion does indeed sound a lot conversations I have had with my children:   -- Sun shines, toys, swings, animals, yard, water, friends a phone call away, etc., yet ... "I am bored." "What do you want do do?" "I dunno.  Watch TV?!" "No, not now. The weather is great.  Go outside." Grrrrrrr.   -- Its raining, 6°C ... "I am bored." "Well, let's watch TV then as its raining and cold." "Naaa, there is nothing on and I wanna got out anyway!" Grrrrrr.   I have been here for over thirty years, not truly out of choice, but here none-the-less.  I have often considered, dreamt, and pined for going back "home".  I have compared and complained and ranted and thought the grass was greener and so forth.  I have envied my friends and relatives in the US for all the "neat stuff" they seemed to be able to do, where I felt my hands were so tightly tied.  But after so long I feel that, yeeeaaaah its different, but there really is nothing to truly complain about.  I let myself 'arrive', sat down at the beer bench, started talking to the strangers who would, left those who wouldn't, listened to the suggestions, checked the cool ones out, noted the others for a rainy day, made friends. I do the German thing when I want, and do the 'muric'n thing when I want, and it's _all_ good.  No, in DE I can't go hunting on a Sunday morning for rabbit to fry, but neither can I walk down a US street with an open bottle of booze. In the cities in DE you'll often get anal complaints for washing you car in the street, in districts I have been to in the US the kids can't play in the streets because old folks noise regulations (zoning laws), etc., etc., etc.  Go where you wish, you will find negatives AND positives.  Go to those same places and complain that your bored (?!), well, ... I say that's a choice.  
  15. Should we return to the US?

    That is a rather sad.  You have closed yourself off to a large portion of "Germany" with that stance.