john g.

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30,959 Awesome with awesome sauce

About john g.

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  • Location Greece
  • Nationality British
  • Hometown Southend-on-Sea , Essex , England
  • Gender Male
  • Year of birth
  • Interests Being is better than not being and helping foreigners understand the German insurance system. It´s what I do..for better or for worse...

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  1. Jokes

    AND Acton🙏🏻, you know, nun jokes are not always appreciated because of the bad language involved! Let me give you an example!🙏🏻   So a Bishop says to his niece, who is a nun,  “ Sister, let me teach you how to play golf!”  And she agrees.  On the golf course, the Bishop shows the nun what a tee is and swipes at the ball and... it ends up in the lake and the Bishop screams: “ oh fuck, oh shit.🙁”   The nun is shocked! “ Oh, Bishop, that is unholy language.”   The Bishop: “ I apologise. That will not happen again.” And he swipes at the ball again.. and it ends up in a tree.. and he screams: “ oh shit, oh fuck.”   And the nun reprimands him again. And , again , the Bishop apologises and swears it will not happen again. But IF it happens again.. “ may God strike me dead.”   So, again , he has a swipe at the ball and.. it ends up in a tree again..   ” Oh fuck, oh shit.🙁”   Suddenly, the sky darkens, thunder rolls in and there is a flash of lightning.” And the lightning kills the nun.   And then, from high above , comes a sad squeal... “ oh shit, oh fuck.” 🙁   ( True story, by the way!) 😂    
  2. Jokes

    You shouldn’t post too many nun jokes, Acton. You shouldn’t get into the “ habit.”
  3. Why are you unhappy today?

    There should be a “ humans are dumb “ thread.  What we do with and expect from wild animals and how we react:
  4. Covid-19 Poll (UPDATE 9 Aug 2020: new poll questions)

    This lady agrees with you:
  5. Covid-19 Poll (UPDATE 9 Aug 2020: new poll questions)

    Keleth!!🙏🏻 Spill the beans!!!
  6. Covid-19 Poll (UPDATE 9 Aug 2020: new poll questions)

    ... issue with question 8, dessa. ” The Government is using bla bla to distract bla bla.” Only one Government? Or the German Government? Or other countries’ Governments? If the question is “ are ALL Governments etc ?”, then you have the perfect paranoid conspiracy!  
  7. What made you laugh today?

    She asked if she could phone! So she did and we did the questionnaire. I commented: ( in German ) “ you didn’t understand my joke, did you?” Her reply: ( in German )- “ I did! I’m a bit older myself!”   Cool!😂😂
  8. What made you laugh today?

    I think I must have just officially become a “ dirty old man.”😂 A woman from an insurance company has asked me to help with a questionnaire. She wrote : “ Schenken Sie mir zwei Minuten?”   I couldn’t resist. “ Die vollen zwei Minuten?”   😀
  9. What made you laugh today?

    ( client is not a native English speaker ) Update: “ I will poke you this evening on Skype.” 😂
  10. Why get Married?

    Since 01.01.2020.. the new Angehoerigen- Entlastungsgesetz, Luke! You are correct! 👍🏼   The Sozialamt now has to step in.  
  11. Why get Married?

    AND I also became friends years ago with a Klaus in Hamburg, who was really depressed long term. He had had a one- night stand at a party with a woman , who became pregnant. Now, he told me the baby was eventually born but he was not allowed contact to the child, had never seen the child .. but had to pay monthly to the woman. He was a gentle man who wouldn‘t harm a fly. But had no access to his child. Doesn‘t seem fair, either..
  12. Why get Married?

    Dunno - but I also have my doubts when it comes to the kids having to pay parts of the costs of a Pflegeheim for a parent- whether the relationship was good or not.
  13. Why get Married?

    I have never agreed with that as a principle. What if your son/ daughter doesn’t give a shit about you? ( NOT my case with my daughter, I hasten to add!🙏🏻).   When my Dad died in an old folk’s home, he bequeathed his house to a woman who had lived in there with her son for donkey’s years and looked after him.   My Mum had long remarried, my brother and sister had flown the nest ages before and rarely visited. I was never there, either. Abroad. Funeral. I flew in. Then the rows started. I didn’t want anything. My sister was angry she wasn’t offered anything in the Will. I wasn’t.   None of us had kept the relationship to our father alive. Reasons for that, of course...
  14. It depends, Rushrush- you can have a clause built in at extra cost in Strafrechtsschutzversicherung ( for certain professions useful ). But that covers for “ aus Versehen “ and not for deliberate, willful  acts of crime. You might be “ grassed on “ by someone who doesn’t like you. But, normally ( mostly ) , even if you have that clause- if you LOSE before the courts- you pay back the costs the legal insurer has incurred.
  15. What made you smile today?

    That one is over, Luke! Just wondering about the final score!