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  1. Past Hour
  2. For example:   In my country if someone want to freeze my bank account, they need to go through a rigorous procedure of going to court, hearing arguments on both sides, then decided by judge whether my bank account can be freezed...   what is all this nonsense in Germany??   in similar passion can schufa also withheld someone from entering their house if concerned person is not paying mortgage??    How can a private agency be given such sweeping powers?? Is it democracy or anarchy?    
  3. Random pointless comments

    What's the difference between Nelson Mandela and Donald Trump?  Nelson Mandela was elected president after he went to prison.   
  4. Mehrwertst not charged

    That's what I was afraid of, thanks for your assistance.
  5.   Allegedly, Michael Cohen says he was "directed to violate campaign laws at the direction of a candidate".  If only we knew who...Hillary maybe? Guess the Space Force is cancelled then.
  6. Moving together with german girlfriend

    Also if this praktikum is just for a couple of months, then the whole worry seems a storm in a teacup - no, you won't see each other much for that short time, and then she will be free to find a job, move nearer/with you and life will be simpler. 
  7. Today
  8. @Zeitbuch I guess it depends varies from state to state... northern states are more relaxed I guess.
  9. change name on Anmeldung

    Good day all.    Recently I made contact with some estranged family I have never met before.    anyway I have reverted back to the name on my birth Cert (my estranged fathers).   what is the process to changing this on my anmeldung, tax, and krankenkasse I guess with banks it's fairly easy    thanks in advance 
  10. What's got you flummoxed today?

      Shameless, don't know how they can sleep at night.
  11. 1. ex-essex (paul) 2. LisaJK 3.+4. Shishimaru +1 5.
  12. Getting fired with an unlimited contract

    How he can plead his case to the Bundesagentur ? The lawyer got him sick because of the stress, that's why he gave up ...
  13. True that, the offer is not even appearing sometimes when I check today and other times it appears but with the button to "contact them" unlike for example offers from 1&1 that show "weiter".
  14. Hi Toytown community, such a cool community!   My first post here, sorry it's not a fun one :/   I'm an unmarried separated foreign father and I'm seeking advice from other fathers that have been denied contact with their child by a German mother.  Before anyone answers, I would prefer not to receive any obvious comments to simply 'get a lawyer' or any polar loaded arguments in support of a preferred particular gender. What I am looking for is either someone who has been through a similar situation (from what I understand, many) or someone who knows of a story, how it unfolded and more importantly how it was resolved, and any suitable advice on what was done, what settlement was reached or the active steps that were taken to reach a desirable outcome. Solutions focused.   Long story short-ish. English man temporarily visiting Germany and German romantic interest. Three months dating then surprise pregnancy of two weeks. Couple nervous. Father looks at all possible or creative ways to make it work. Mother zero compromise. Father foresees big problems and a poor situation for a child to be raised without both parents, explains this. Mother romantically quotes the German legislation concerning paternal child support obligations two weeks into the pregnancy. Lovely. Mother says she will do it alone. Father cannot believe the incohesion and breaks down and cries, a lot. Father explains that he can not imagine having a child where he is to be only the 'remote help'. Father asks how will she pay her rent. Mother explains that it is okay and that her well-to-do family and the state will support her and she needs nothing from the Father and that she has decided that she is going to do it alone.   Father experiences intense crisis of starting a family under these conditions. Mother feels let down by the Father because he didn't want to bring a child in under these conditions. Mother's feelings were hurt. Mother isolates herself from the Father. Father tries everything he can to support her, helping with everything. Mother's hormones get boiling, Father takes it. Father receives flesh wound and fractured bone from Mother, takes it under full hormonal concession (and 'dominating opinion' that female on male violence is to be shrugged off... ugh). White flag. Father continues to do groceries, cooking, cleaning, handyman things, on call 24/7. One day Mother goes silent wont return messages or calls. Communication suffers. Weeks go by. After some weeks Father contacts a friend of the Mother who serendipitously informs him that the Mother is giving birth in secret and that the Mother requested the Father not be allowed to be there. Father is deeply hurt to miss being at the birth of their child. Father finally gets in touch with Mother's support person and with the Mother's consent is given the location following the birth. Father meets baby. for 24 hours Mother and Father are indifferent to any troubles and share in the glow of the baby. Father continues to do everything that he can to help Mother and baby, late hours food drinks etc. Weekly visits with caring suddenly stop after four weeks Mother goes cold. Nothing has been missed, there was no cataclysmic event which warranted the Father's exclusion. Father has not seen baby for over three months now. Mother will not communicate.   Father has received a letter from the Jugendamt with demands for a 'Vaterschaft' and coercive threats of court action. German mother apparently now wants a monthly payment from the father and even with this, is mostly disinterested in the father having any relationship with the child whatsoever. She has cut off all communication and is now utilising the youth office to act as 'agent for the child' without having any reasonable conversation directly with the Father about any of this.   Father is legally savvy and has researched what this 'Vaterschaft' means and has come to the understanding that while it is the declaration of paternity, it is also an essential instrument used to enact grossly inequitable legislation which puts a man into a position of 'pay but no say'. This is quite unique to Germany. For all the single mother's doing it tough that have luckily had some relief from this legal intrument, that is good there is some support and that is welcome, but do not forget that it puts the mother above the father on all accounts. Before coming to the defence of the bundled, grossly inequitable legislation know this: In 2010 the European Court of Human Rights ruled that German family law breached basic human rights (fathers rights concerning children born outside of marriage). Under pressure from this ruling Germany minimally modified the legislation to allow fathers some basic rights. It wasn't brought into line with other progressive western countries, it only changed a little. A welcome change, but without equal respect to mothers and fathers. Legally, unmarried fathers still finish last. Fathers' human rights are continuing to be violated within Germany under the current updated legislation. The legislation in Germany is based on 'dominating opinion'. Dominating opinion is not necessarily what is most morally valid or sound; history is evidence of this. In Germany, Spousal Rape was legal until 1997. Again, romantic. Does anyone else find this disturbing... or perhaps question what other absurdities still remain legislated? So under the fundamentally flawed legislation the mother is automatically awarded sole-custody, and the 'Vaterschaft' is the requirement of the youth agency under the legislation to enforce child maintenance payments against the father. Then the father will get visitation rights maybe once a week and the father gets no say in the child's life? It's a shit deal! Yes what about the child, of course we all understand why these laws exist, but consider the situation, what transpired in this individual situation, the Father is on struggle street living in a foreign place and the Mother's parents are wealthy with nothing to spend it on... and the Mother wants to exercise the force of state legislation through an agency without even discussing anything in person... while holding the child hostage! So even if the father does agree to whatever she may demand, what is the security that she will be forthcoming with access considering 1. what has already transpired, 2. the inequitable legislation? I have found a few posts on this forum and other places on the web discussing difficult situations, piranhas, and unmarried foreign fathers in Germany who also discover that they are legislated to be bottom feeders with regard to family significance within this country. There exists a biased family judicial process that always favours the mother (for someone about to jump in with stories of fathers being awarded custody, yes in less than 5% of cases and usually only those where the mother is an unstable alcoholic etc and the father a perfect statesman). Legislatively and culturally the German mother 'owns' the children and the traditional role of the Father is the breadwinner and should there be any separation this is the go-to model for the judicial process.   I have read countless stories of the sour Frau in the Jugendamt giving instant one sided merit to a creative mothers story basically having everything rubber stamped through the courts for the mother's benefit and the fathers detriment, especially so when it involves a German mother and a foreign father. I recall an Californian-Gujurati guy that this happened to also but I have lost the website. So how does this situation get resolved! Please be kind I'm not here to have an argument and I apologise in advance if anything was too brusquely typed or if something written here pinched a nerve in another personal story. You have to empathise with me I'm getting majorly f'ed around here and I'm obviously bothered by it all. I'm not looking for lectures based on silly assumptions, or how to creatively make a good guy look like a bad guy for having the audacity to point out that being a separated father in this country is a shocking, painful, disenfranchising experience... where modern legal progression intermixes with selective archaic gender tradition to create an illogical medley that cuts at the very core into our most precious things in the world... families.   I seek answers from those who have experienced a similar drama. Please, tell stories, share knowledge, I've had a really hard time finding a good knowledge base for this. I've spoken with some agencies, most only reiterate standard procedure in that one should basically outsource their thinking and family decision making to the wisdom of a prejudiced agency. Not yet thanks. I hope the discussion helps others realise the current paradigm for fatherhood in Germany, helps those who get lost in the jungle and obviously I hope there are some words that can help me too, thanks I can't wait to see my child and pour out the love for lost time!      
  15. Early Retirement -Dual US German Citizen

      Clever girl. I don't invest in any of those schemes, and that's quite voluntary as I am not a "US person". Whatever I can save goes into shares and paying off the mortgage. Real estate and stock can be sold and taken abroad for retirement--take the money and run! :-) 
  16. Back in England we were late to take this up, but eventually I was amazed by how good is online supermarket grocery shopping.   Here in Germany it is still much less common. But nevertheless its present.   Do you do online shopping for groceries, from the big well known supermarket?  For example, I know Real is one if those who offer it, but sure there must be others... How do you find it? Good?   I guess like everything there is only one way to find it out, try it a few times and we will see...
  17. Citizenship && Brexit && Homesick

    An acquaintance who has Jamaican ancestry is being asked to prove that he has no Jamaican citizenship and that will cost him 700€, so he has decided not to go forward with his application. It sounded odd to me.   Our town has written to all affected Brits to encourage them to get themselves sorted right now while there is still time, and the official translator has cancelled her summer holiday to keep up with the flood of work. Impressive really.    I have met a few who are not interested, but more who think they may as well do it because, who knows? 'Better to have a thing you may never need than to be in need of something you can't have' - wise words from an old chap I met in Penny at the weekend.
  18. That reminds me of when I worked in a school in Indonesia, Wulfrum! We would have the occasional parent´s day. So the parents came, we all sat outside in the sunshine and drank tea..and were polite and lovely.... . Then the parents left and we Westerners ( including Australians ) and Indonesian members of staff (mostly Muslim but some Christians ) grabbed the till then hidden beers!
  19.  Friday playgroup for English-speaking parents and young kids from 10:00-12:00. All are welcome!   The playgroup is located at Kidlerstraße 15 of the Himmelfahrtskirche in Sendling. Walk through the black gates into the car park, passing the Himmelfahrtskirche church steeple on your right. The playroom is located in the building with the green door; there is a ramp for strollers.   On nice days, we will be outside in the garden. There is a sandpit, playhouse and various outdoor toys available for the children.   We are asked to give a small contribution to the church. One euro per family per visit should cover this cost. Please send me a pm if you need more information. It's always great to see familiar faces and meet new ones! See you there!
  20. Noise pollution where the source is unknown

    Sorry but I don't believe that for one minute.  thanks.
  21. Brexit: The fallout

    I hope so...
  22. I have a ton of English-language children's books I'd like to get rid of. Most of them are board books for babies or toddlers, but I also have some older story and nonfiction books that my daughter doesn't like. I'm in Saarbruecken but would be happy to ship a box anywhere in Germany. If anyone is interested tell me what type/age and I will take a photo of what I have.
  23. Odd news

    Stairway to heaven ...  
  24. 3 room apartment available in Sendling Oct. 1

    Apartment is gone.  Thanks for all interest.    
  25. Untrue (Alternative) facts

    Picasso's first name was Citroen.
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