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  1. Past Hour
  2. Worst jokes ever

    An elderly Italian man lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard.   His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Papa   A few days later he received a letter from his son. Dear Pop, Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried. Love, Vinnie   At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrive and dig up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologize to the old man and leave. That same day the old man receives another letter from his son. Dear Pop, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances. Love you, Vinnie
  3. I bought a used car from a garage. The car has a TUV until the end of the year and I have a  Gerwahreleitung: https://imgur.com/a/nKIDdQu   When changing the winter tires for summer ones I found that the front shocks each had a rung missing and I imagine the rear ones will soon follow, and the rear rum roll brakes are very rusted and will probably need to be replaced.    From this forum I've learnt that I might be covered because it's still within six months of the purchase, is this the case?    The garage argues otherwise:   " tut uns leid für diese Umstände. Das ist ein altes Gebrauchtfahrzeug. Die Bremsen rosten irgendwann und müssen dann ausgetauscht werden. Die Stoßdämpfer waren bei uns noch nicht kaputt.Leider haben Sie keinen Gewährleistungsanspruch. "
  4. Worst jokes ever

    A man buys a talking centipede for £3000 and takes it home in a small box.   After 30 minutes he opens the box and says "would you like to go for a pint?"   The talking centipede doesn't answer and so, raising his voice the man repeats the question but still receives no reply.   Getting angry, thinking he has been done, he shouts the same question loudly   The talking centipede sticks his head out of the box and says "I heard you the first ******* time I'm just putting my shoes on"
  5. Anaphylaxis and Epi Pen usage

    In a recent Ersthelfer-ausbildung I learned that one is not allowed to administer an epi pen unless you are trained to do it.
  6. All I know is that these dominos don't seem to be stacked up very well. If I watched this on TV as a kid I would have been writing to Blue Peter to complain.   If people stacked their dominos better in the first place then we would not be on page 251 (my device your device may vary) of a not particularly challenging thread of small and petty things.    We would be watching with awe a Guinness Book of World Records domino world of tumbling excitement.   The dominos would now of course be gender neutral and vegan though. The whosh when they all fall down would be the same.    
  7. I´m having a cheese sandwich, Alex! And drinking mineral water...hot evening here. By the way, I don´t know if Kommentarlos is male or female or something in the middle but I´m happy to be a lesbian boy!
  8. Credibility on this thread? Given the subject matter at hand, the lesbian formerly and perhaps still currently called Donald Trump, I struggle to see where credibility could ever be earned. 
  9. Maybe your credibility will recover by then. I doubt it though. 
  10. I'll come back to you boys tomorrow when it's not beer thirty for you. Nothing good happens on TT after 7 PM.
  11. Anaphylaxis and Epi Pen usage

        Here is the situation   Unter welchen Umständen kann es nötig sein, dass Andere den Adrenalin Autoinjektor bei einem Patienten mit anaphylaktischem Schock anwenden müssen? Wenn der Patient selbst nicht mehr in der Lage dazu ist, den Adrenalin-Autoinjektor anzuwenden, sollten die Umstehenden eingreifen. Voraussetzung dafür ist, dass man das Notfallset mit dem Adrenalin-Autoinjektor beim Patienten vorfindet. Auch im Notfallkoffer öffentlicher Einrichtungen, wie z.B. Schulen, Kindergärten, Sportstätten etc. sollten standardmäßig Adrenalin-Autoinjektoren vorhanden sein, die dann verwendet werden können, ebenso in Arztpraxen und Apotheken.   Heißt das, man kann einen Adrenalin-Autoinjektor auch als Nicht-Mediziner und ohne eine Anaphylaxie Schulung bei einem Patienten mit Anaphylaxie anwenden? Unbedingt sollte man bei einem Menschen, der gerade einen anaphylaktischen Schock erleidet, den Adrenalin-Autoinjektor einsetzen. Bei einem anaphylaktischen Schock kann es für den Patienten lebensrettend sein, möglichst schnell Adrenalin zu erhalten. Oftmals bleibt deshalb keine Zeit, auf den Notarzt zu warten. Was passiert, wenn man den Adrenalin-Autoinjektor unnötig eingesetzt, kann man den Patienten dann gefährden? Da eine Anaphylaxie sehr schnell ablaufen kann, ist schnelles Handeln erforderlich. Das Risiko von systemischen Nebenwirkungen beim Verabreichen eines Adrenalin-Autoinjektors ist gering und nahezu immer kleiner als das Risiko, durch die Anaphylaxie.
  12. As an older Brit, Kommentarlos, I quite like queues. The good old days!
  13. Is she a lesbian? She should have mentioned it before.   john g is now my favourite lesbian. So there is a queue. Trump not so much. 
  14. Your double negative has got me confused! Still working on understanding!
  15.   When you don‘t have a coherent argument, cry discrimination. That’s probably why that suddenly became one of the elusive goalposts.    Oh! Lesbian. Can‘t look like I‘m picking on her. 
  16. Anaphylaxis and Epi Pen usage

      You are correct. If no medical professional is available then the patient has to administer the medicine themselves. You can of course help by setting things up for them. Ditto inhalers etc.   This excludes also individuals who have untertaken training as first aiders in DE.
  17. I am a lesbian, Kommentarlos, but I´ve never told anyone! Breaking news!
  18. Today
  19. Is Trump a lesbian? Not really following this bit.
  20. What does that phrase mean then, Alex?
  21. No, john. You misread that. Not that we don't know lesbians can't be rightwingers. I think the AfD sports one of those self-hating nutters, but it's not me.  
  22. What made you smile today?

    A little story about my siblings and computers.   My sister bought her first computer a few years ago and knowing nothing about them asked my brother to set it up for which he did. He then asked her what password she wanted for her login which she told him and he duly set up. Everything's working fine so he left. Later when my sister tried to get in she found her password wasn't accepted so she phoned my brother and asked him what he wrote in which he duly told her. So she asked him how he spelt it. He couldn't remember because he's Dyslexic. True story and I near enough pissed myself when she told me.
  23. Anaphylaxis is the most severe response to an allergen like nuts, bee stings or the like. It is potentially life threatening and requires an immediate medical response (a dose of adrenaline from an Epipen). Anaphylaxis can start in minutes from exposure to an allergen.   In Germany a person is not permitted to administer medicine unless they are qualified (Nurse, Doctor for instance). Where I come from teachers in schools are trained to administer epipens as it is time critical and emergency services can take over 10 minutes to arrive. But in Germany it is expected that the ambulance officer administers the epipen. However, I have heard that in Gemany a person can administer an epipen if there is one available and it could save a life.    Does anyone know more about the legal situation? Have experience of anaphylaxis in Germany?    Thanks in advance.  
  24. Some good banter going on between Alex and Kommentarlos! By the way, I also don´t understand what " some people are not born for the deep end of the pool ", means,  either! Sound a bit elitist, even far right-wing...surely not??? Alex?? 
  25. Yeah, I'm worried about your opinion.
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