This week's top-rated posts
So you had a filling done and were shocked - SHOCKED - that the dentist sent you a bill for a filling a few days later?
And you didn't pay it, so you were once again shocked - SHOCKED - that he sent you a payment reminder?
I hope you were wearing your clutching pearls had your fainting couch nearby.
Knight00: in order to understand your predicament - can you tell us if you are health insurance with
1) German public health insurance
2) Private health insurance
From your info that in the past you never received a bill I would assume that 1.) is the case, but to make sure you'll get a correct answer, a confirmation would be critical
If you are publicly insured, two things might have occured (separate or jointly) in order for you to get a bill:
i) the filling was done in a way that is not fully covered by public health insurance (AFAIK, only simple metal fillings are covered, all other (ceramics) etc require private co-payment)
ii) you were offered some IGEL-services. I.e. the doctor persuaded/tricked you in "wanting" something that is not entirely covered by public health… (another 51 words)
I think this all depends upon what health insurance, if any, the OP has, and what s/he is accustomed to.
The profile isn't very helpful at all - nationality being "Third Reich"...
Basically, some things are covered by health insurance and some are not, but whatever you do, you should always ask about costs before allowing anybody to do anything to you - and if you do not understand, then you need to get somebody in to translate.
BTW - how much was the bill for?
oh there is nothing like going to a wedding with your boyfriend of 5+ years and having him say to both the bride and groom, at separate occasions before the wedding, "don't do it"!
And now I'm the desperate silly girlfriend who is questioning the relationship.
Sounds familiar. I used to make a humorous Christmas layout (lots of work) for our group's Web page every year for 10 years.
Very little feedback, but tons of criticism.
Then I stopped, and told them why. Dead silence.
Now every year they ask me *after Christmas* why I didn't do the layout, as it was so popular.
My answer that they only need talk to me about it beforehand (I even published that to the entire group one year) always is met with dead silence. Oh well.
In my view, Germans do not have the same manners as the British. (I am from Britain, so I cannot speak about other nationalities.)
Recently, a whole group of them in my walking group managed to upset and inconvenience me - and when I was feeling unwell, too .. but that didn't stop me from fulfilling my duty and going out of my way for them.
Could one of the 10 (one Greek woman among them) actually express a word of sympathy for me (never mind apolgising for their dumb behaviour)? Nah. Not one.
However, two German women who were not on the walk but who are extremely gentle characters, they have written to say that they hope everything is alright with me.
But when Germans upset you .. and it's obvious that you're upset.. then no.. not a word of sympathy, no acknowledgement of… (another 86 words)
*looks at no one in particular*
It never ceases to astound me how some people totally fail in reading comprehension (how to contact a prospective landlord), especially after indiscriminately spamming 10+ adverts of the same nature.
The mind boggles when English teachers do this.
You'll only need a receipt if you paid cash. Otherwise, the invoice, combined with proof of payment through your bank account statements, is sufficient for the Finanzamt.
I'm quite shocked at some attitudes here ... "he was in the wrong place"...
this is all no different from "well she was wearing a low cut blouse your honour... it was obvious she wanted it "
I thought attitudes had moved on from that..
rape is rape... if someone says no then that's what it means even if they happen to be laying naked in the middle of the red light district.
So a drunk, possibly deranged and trained Soldier runs amok in an Hospital injuring one Patient and cornering two Police Officers who repeatedly tell him to stop in German and English.
Finally he is about 2 Meters away from them raising a fire extinguisher over his head with the clear intend to bash at least one Officers head in.
Yet they manage to stop him with two shots in the legs without ever risking his life.
And this is a Problem why?
Stupid o'clock... The doorbell rings... Its the chimney sweep..
He does his stuff... up in the attic... down in the Waschstubn.... having been warned to stay on the wooden beams..
Comes back and say "Great, all in order.!!"
Woo hoo... well, woo hoo until I go into Lilly Bedroom and the ceiling is on the floor!
Damm and bollox!
I am so flummoxed as to why people can not own up to the damage that they have done to somone eles property...!!!
How to Get Screwed Over by German Postal System in Thirteen Easy Steps:
Step One: Pick out 10 or so do-dads and what-nots, total value 80 or so dollars. Call
Step Two: Pack tight in USP box and dutifully fill out form, listing contents and printing geschenk on said label and receive Tracking number. Call
Step Three: Pay 90 dollars to ship to Germany. Call
Step Four: Wait a few weeks for said package to get to Germany. Call.
Step Five: Package seized in Customs because there is tax to be paid. Call
Step Six: Receive letter from Zoll in Berlin. Call
Step Seven: Call Zoll for explaination why a present valued under 100Euros from a mom in the US has a tax on it.
Step Eight: Oops we thought it was 10 items with 80 euros value each. (Ummm No) We will stick that back in the mail for you. Thanks.… (another 129 words)
[adminsplit=168754]Dealing with German rudeness[/adminsplit]
Eeep I'm going to stick my head above the parapet a moment:
Deutsche Bahn - have an amazing website that I still use to search trains pretty much anywhere in continental Europe. And when I needed a bike ticket for a trip for Amsterdam --> Berlin, which can't be booked online because you need a thing to tie to the bike (d'oh - printers? - oh well) I was able to contact people at DB who courriered the ticket to Amsterdam in time for my daft husband - and, like to guess how long he had left before announcing he had no ticket? 48 hours... no problem. OK, small problem - courrier service not cheap - but that's fair!
Deutche Post - all I can say about Deutsche Post is: 30 euro for 30 kg Germany to England!… (another 98 words)
Hub dynamos are the way to go, with a light sensor that turns the lights on automatically in lower light conditions. Can't get stolen / forgotten, work great in the rain / snow... and don't make any annoying noise / noticeable drag.
There's a German saying: The echo from the forest depends on what you call out. You sound like a very angry person who resents the fact that Germans prefer to speak German.
Have you contacted Deutsche Post headquarters yet, or are you just going to sit at your PC and complain?
EDIT: Question answered
I had the same plans to start a modest business during my Elternzeit. It did not work out, mainly because we had plenty of other difficulties during that time, for example we had to spend every free minute trying to get a new apartment for around 6 months, serious illnesses in the family etc. If I had just had the baby to take care of, I would probably had a couple of hours per day to work with the business after the initial 2-3 months with baby were over and we had some kind of routine.
However, I would advise you to do the following:
1. Read your and your husband's work contract to whether a business is allowed. My contract would have forbidden it, this is quite typical.
2. Try to change your visa status, things (eg tax, health insurance)are a lot simpler, if you do not need to do the… (another 273 words)
That is complete and utter BS along the lines of "well, if she'd done the socially accepted thing and not dressed, acted, look at him like"... we wouldn't be having this conversation.
A rapist isn't going to be deterred because his victim was walking by a secluded/dark/whatever area instead of pissing there. Just like a rapist's intent to rape isn't driven by who has the shortest skirt or best flirty eye-contact at the bar. All that's germane is that a person brushed off a sexual advance and was sexually assaulted. There's no "well he shouldn't have X" that's germane to the conversation. Pissing in a bush, littering, flipping someone off-- have absolutely zero to do with getting raped.
Coming onto a thread about a horrific crime in… (another 86 words)
That is why so many of these crimes do not get reported, regardless if the victim is female or male or a child. The a priori "I am predisposed to not believe you" attitude is extremely hard to encounter and even harder to overcome. I am one of the lucky ones who was believed without the shadow of a doubt.
Ok I may have expressed myself incorrectly. Thanks for pointing that out. It is horrific for everybody the same. The social stigma seem somehow even worse for men. I had the example of a poor bloke part of a support group and he was the only male victim of the group. Turned out he did not win the fight and committed suicide.
Apparently he could not find any help either from his friend or his familly because "He is a man and should have defended himself"
I am not saying either that the social stigma is easy for women, but at least since the overwhelming majority of victims of rape are women you can find a few people you can relate to to support you.
I was surprised that you say that as a female (according to your profile)..... can you explain why you think it's worse for men? I reckon it's pretty horrific for anyone...
I say it all the time, and mean it. Once you have gotten to know someone reasonably well, enough to know that they're not a pedophile, dog kicker or someone who thinks that Coors lite is an actual beer, why not? I live in a great city, have an extra room, what's the harm?
We've had many people stay with us for a few days. My problem is getting my actual friends to come visit. For them, leaving their county in Illinois is considered an adventure, let alone coming to Europe.
Have had it offered to us on many occasions as well, and taken up people on it. Just spent a week in London staying at a friend's brother's place. He came to visit our friend, we all went out to dinner, he made the offer, and there we were. Had a great time.
It probably IS sincere, and you should take… (another 5 words)
Contact them in advance.
Say that you plan to be in their area between (date) and (date) and ask whether it would be convenient to take them up of their invitation for a few days, i.e. less than a week.
Add that if it is not convenient, it will not be a problem as you have a few other options. That will make it easier for them to decline with regret.
The question of where to get tested for HIV and how much it costs keeps popping up every once in a while. Here is a link to the webpage of an AIDS support and information site which lists all of the testing centers in the country by Bundesland. From what I understand, all testing is anonymous, but this should be checked with the individual center where you want to be tested.
In most places the testing is done by the Ministry of Health and is usually free (with the dubious exception of Berlin). Tourists should check if they can be tested at these centers and if there is a fee (as per the reminder below, your best bet in any case is probably to be tested once you are back home).
IMPORTANT REMINDER - The common HIV test is an antibody test and so only starts to be reliable [u]6-12 weeks[/u]… (another 169 words)
Ticket is booked... Back in April next year No returns. Scared as but there ya go ;D
Shout out to Tor, Bobbylines, Gwaptiva, JohnG and Mapleleafdude.... Your help, feedback, and just general awesomeness has made this tangled web of mine a lot easier to negotiate... I will pay it back as best I can
I am happy because at this time tomorrow, I will be on my plane heading to Ohio for 17 days. Meet-ups with old friends, some of whom I haven't seen since we graduated from high school in '73, plus 2 old Army buddies. So excited to reconnect with these people. I love FB.
How utterly arrogant of them to establish guidelines for the training and usage of firearms in the line of duty without seeking the opinions of an internet forum. Do the polizei *really* believe they are more experienced than the general population in suppressing armed and dangerous people?
Your girlfriend's mother tries to pick on you, and moans about stuff like a spoon in a cup?
Good god lad, you've got it easy! If I ever have a daughter, I pity the poor bastards that try and date her. Forget stuff about spoons, you'd be waking up to me sitting next to your bed staring you in the eye whilst sharpening a very large blade on a whetstone, then castrating a goat in front in you.
I got a good kick after reading that . I'd pay to see my MIL's face after I stunt like that. I'd imitate you, but I don't want to lose my gf in the process. Well...not that I needed one, but she got me completely out off the blue and that was like my automatic reaction, but my answers was in fact true. I've been working and studying, sleeping like 5 hours a day for nearly two weeks...and right after that...I found myself catching the train to Munich. Whatever the case was, I found her question...shall I say...just a bit out of place. You can keep your opinion to yourself if you don't have any constructive criticism. That was for the sake of trying to diminish me in public. Not that it worked, but I still didn't like it.Don't you worry...if I wouldn't she… (another 77 words)
My high school sweetheart's 16 year old son died on Friday. Thank you cystic fibrosis. His sister, my class mate, lost her husband early this year, leaving behind 7 year old twins. First (and only) heart attack at 55 years. And to make matters worse, when all the family was together on Saturday, there was a dog/cat situation, resulting in a trip to the emergency vet and a dead cat. :-( I cannot imagine the pain they must be going through. I cannot imagine.
I just want to update what happened and how it continue. maybe it will help somoene in the future to have more information here.
so i went to arbeitsamt and reported everything, the lady there had no idea what i am talking about and told me that she is only clerk and they can not do anything here in arbeitsamt. anyhow she gave me a paper to go to visit lawyer to a court for consultancy. i payed for one visit 10 eur. lawyer told me to go to arbeitsgericht to report everything that this is the quickest way and make as much evidence as i can and take more people into it if it possible. that was all in one short meeting i had with him. so i went to arbeitsgerichte and reported everything. they send 2 letters to comapny in their name but there was no reaction. in last hearing i accepted to move… (another 196 words)
So in the somewhat encouraging current trend in the British media to attempt to sweep away the dogmatic association amongst Brits of Germany with 'The War', this new series, hosted by Neil McGregor, the Director of the British Museum, looks at German history over the past 600 years.
Should be worth a listen..
Best move would be to not bring those smaller items (hair dryer, coffee pot, etc.) with you in the first place; just plan to buy new ones here (or to buy second-hand ones -- even here on TT there tends to be plenty of that stuff on offer from people moving away from Germany).
I'm flummoxed that people are getting into a tizzy about the Clooney wedding. They invited the press in, talked to them, laughed with them and let them have their feeding frenzy. The ceremony was private, with a photographer taking the official photographs which will be sold to the broader media and all money made from them is to be donated to various charities the couple chose together.
I say, well done to both of them and I wish them all the best for the future.
What you have on the wall now is probably Raufaser wallpaper (dried oats look).
The (Maler-)Vlies which the painter suggests is a very thin wallpaper that evens out small imperfections on the wall and provides a smooth surface to paint on. To make extra clear what you want, say that you want the surface to be "glatt, ohne Struktur".
It has happened. I went to the place mentioned here: Dr. Riffeser is the name. They gave me liquid valium to drink (vile!), strapped my head into the frame, asked if that was ok, inserted the angled mirrors and pushed me into the tube so that I was actually looking out the window via the mirrors and did not feel trapped. It helps that the tube is about 40% bigger in diameter than your standard tube.
My only difficulty now is typing correctly as the valium is still working. Result: No lesion of the brain stem. Happy me!
Its a gold plated brass shield so that soot cant get into the lid. It can be easily removed for cleaning and that is its function. Whoever told you its a solid piece of gold was taking you for a ride.
I have half the company on speed dial...
The whole Sarah Silverman "We Are Miracles" special, which I saw for the first time last night, but especially this number:
Lyrics are not safe for work
No longer true for EU/EEA rental income for countries in which the double taxation agreement has a progression clause.
The Germany-UK double taxation agreement (DTA) has such a progression clause, so UK rental income is no longer considered at all in the German tax return, i.e. you don't even mention it.
On the other hand, for example, the Germany-Finland DTA (as does the Spanish one) doesn't have such a clause (it has an Anrechnung clause), so you have to declare Finnish rental income in your German tax return, and it is taxed by Germany, but any Finnish tax you already paid on that rental income reduces your German tax burden (that's what Anrechnung means).
In a nutshell: you always have to look into that country's DTA with Germany.
The Fünftel-Regelung is set down in §34 Abs. 1 EStG.
It works by bringing people to a lower spot on the progression curve:
So, yes, the higher the income the more will you feel the advantage of being brought to a lower spot on the progression curve - as long as your income isn't too high...
For high earners, the Fünftel-Regel brings no advantage at all, they are brought to a spot to the left that is still on the horizontal 42% line, and not to the progression area (the area between roughly 27,000€ and 105,000€ for married couples, half if you're single) to the left of it.
Let's do some examples.
Example 1: normal earner, married
taxable family income (including 50,000€ severance pay = außerordentliche Einkünfte): 110,000€
--> use official income tax calculator,… (another 225 words)
You're in a country where people communicate by giving directions and advice, and where passive aggressiveness is a default attitude. If it makes your MIL that uncomfortable to see a teaspoon in your cup, maybe you could accommodate her - it's her house after all. Having a go at you personally isn't on at all though, no matter how 'well intentioned' she may be (which, from your post, doesn't sound like a whole hell of a lot).
I'd call her on her behaviour in front of everyone. Just tell her to stop judging you and tell her you're doing your best to learn the family rules but it won't happen straight away. You acknowledge what she's so desperate to point out to you but you do so on your terms. Maybe even ask the others there if there is anything… (another 249 words)
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July… (another 484 words)
Sat in the Kitchen at chateaux SP, drinking my coffee and watching the morning mist slowly drift by...
Thinking to my self how fortunate I am.. Then "Ping!!!""
A Message from Lillys Mom!!
Thanks everyone for yesterday.
If you signed a contract with a three month termination period during the Probezeit, then you're bound to it.
Talk to your employer, maybe they will let you leave earlier, but if they insist you will have to work off your 3 month termination period.
For details, please see here:
"Es ist durch eine einzelvertragliche Regelung lediglich möglich, die Kündigungsfrist während der Probezeit zu verlängern."
= if you have a specific clause in your contract then the termination period during the Probezeit is allowed to be longer than the minimum 2 week termonation period that the law stipulates (§622 Abs. 3 BGB).
Reading comprehension? Reisezentrum at Berlin Hbf (you will pay a small surcharge for personal service), train ticket machines at all DB stations (no surcharge; they have an English-language interface and accept cash or girocard). Or you could book DB tickets online (no surcharge; you print them at home), using your girocard as ID card and paying by Paypal or Sofortüberweisung.
Perhaps the German speakers at the shop are having problems communicating clearly with the English speakers at the UK manufacturer.
For the price of a postage stamp the OP could contact the manufacturer in English and find out exactly what has happened and what the next steps are.
Stomp: this is a load of bulls. Since 2012 the earliest age when you can start to draw on either a bAV or RIESTER or RÜRUP pension has been raised from 60 years to 62 years of age. I.e. with your 63rd birthday you can start to draw out of your pension plan. And, as you correctly assume, you safe paying fees/commissions for years that you do not want nor are likely to put in more money into the plan when you limit the duration accordingly.Clearly this broker (and I wonder if he truly is a broker? If you do not know the difference, check here for info to learn the different legal status in Germany: http://www.crcie.com/why-independ-broker.html ) is trying to increase the premiums and thus his/her commission to your loss.
What I would do now is to send a complaint directly to HR. Tell them that… (another 303 words)
My Portuguese rib wants me to tell you "hell yeah! Bombs will drop! People will explode for no reason! Spend your holidays somewhere else, perhaps...Portugal!"
But my other ribs are saying "It's like making love in a car. All those robbers and sexual perverts wondering around, but we still do it, might I say, with extra libido, due to the danger perception!"
Now seriously, we got wars with the middle east going on almost every year. And terrorists attacks all over the world. Are you going to stay home all year?
As Leon said, try contacting the manufacturer but don't just complain - Get the shipping and contact details from the shop then tell the manufacturer in writing that they have your property and you expect it to be returned or replaced.
Don't get angry and don't tell a long story - just be firm, give them the details they need to follow the return of your wetsuit and make it clear to the manufacturer that you want your wetsuit back or an identical replacement.
My parents disapproved of my high school boyfriend so I married him just to show 'em.
Over the years, I have used many rolls of duct tape on my mouth and kept my opinions to myself as my sons dated various girls.
in a heated gun battle aiming at the torso makes perfect sense. however it just might be possible that the polizei are trained to *not* shoot to kill unless absolutely necessary, and within 10-15M the legs are a good-sized target. taking out the knee is an effective way to immobilize someone armed with anything other than a gun, which seems to be the case here (the soldier's lack of a gun I mean, I've no clue where in the leg they shot him). I'm guessing if the soldier *had* been armed with a gun and was shooting/threatening others we'd be reading a story about a dead soldier shot in the torso (over 100 times if in the U.S.).
According to TZ he fell over drunk in a parking lot when the group of soldiers was on their way out and hit his head on the ground. His CO was present during the whole thing, from the parking lot to the shooting two hours later. The soldier was running towards the officers with a heavy fire extinguisher raised in his hands, while being shouted at to put it down in German and English and the two officers and a doctor retreating backwards slowly. At two meters distance, one of the officers fired two shots into his leg to drop him. The soldier had previously injured another patient in the clinic by hitting him with a fire extinguisher in the face. Standard criminal procedures have been opened against both the police officer and the soldier. Charges against the officer will be dropped for sel… (another 1 words)
Okay, this is happening tomorrow!
This is how it works:
On Sunday, 28 September 2014 (not Saturday; every year there's a genius who's a day early ...) from 10 AM I will be at the back, the rear, NOT the main entrance of the Schottenhamel tent at entry W2, holding up a sign saying "Toytown Germany" (look for the ankle-length Dirndl with a red, embroidered top and red apron possibly a gray sweater). Your best way to get there is to take the U4 or U5 and get off at Schwanthalerhöhe, it is a short walk (6 minutes) to the edge of Theresienwiese. Turn LEFT once you reach the slope heading to the tents and take the first footpath down, you will end up behind the Hofbräu tent. The Schottenhamel tent is to the right, I will be about where the Red Cross and Münchner Kindl are… (another 258 words)
EU regulations and EU directives are two different things with a different mode of implantation resp.automatic validity in all member states.. Regulations become automatically binding, directives need to be transformed into national law in every single member state. There is no EU regulation about driving licences. there is a directive. Which may not or not yet or not yet fully be transformed into national law in every member state.
Some of you may recall my previous post regarding my mate Sammy who twice self harmed himself with a knife, slashing his wrists and neck.
He suffers from severe Paranoia and spent months in a psychiatric hospital before being allowed home.
I have always since that episode tried to keep in touch, mainly by phone.
However, over the past few months he doesn't pick up my calls.
I have ridden up to where he lives, around 20 miles away, several times and have only found him in on maybe one in four occasions.
I found out he spends most of his time at the flat of his ex-wife. (His current wife is divorcing him) He hasn't worked now for four months.
I managed to find him last weekend and spent a couple of hours with him.
Although I've known him for around thirty years and regard him as a… (another 92 words)
Gut instinct: Do they have a wetsuit for €250 plus whatever amount you were willing to pay for the repairs to the old one? If so, go for it because you get a new item instead of a repaired old one for the same price.
Guys, I don't want a new item. I just want mine, the broken one I gave to them. If I can get it I would be super happy. I can even pay for the shipping, I don't care.
I really cannot believe they can take it just like that.
The car analogy is far from being close to this situation. Here is a proper version:
You buy a bmw 3 series with a very good price. The front right headlight breaks down. You go to your dealer to get it fixed. When you come back, he says your car is gone but here you can get a vw passat or citroen c5. Or you can get a voucher for a brand new 1 series!
The case is a bit complicated. Let's try it this way:
First: Your item isn't there anymore. Someone in the UK dropped it into the garbage bin.
Second : Yor item wasn't new, it was used and damaged and hence didn't have the full value anymore.
You have a right for compensation Based on the value the item had at the moment it got lost.Or at the price a used , damaged item would cost today at let's say ebay.
How much would that be?
The shop offers you about 2/3 of the regular price in form of a voucher . Or another, different brand new item for 100% of your actual (reduced) purchasing price.
If someone wrecks your car you don't get the same, new car. You can get a free repair worth maximal the value the car had before the accident.If the repair would… (another 24 words)
I am happy because it's been exactly three weeks I've been vaping and haven't smoked once. I am not sure if I can safely say I quit smoking but at the moment it pretty much feels like I won't be tempted again.
Well, it seems at one point volunteers were sought, but no-one volunteered. So you and your husband are not the only parents who think it's a stupid idea. I wonder why the whole idea wasn't voted down. Instead, parents have allowed themselves to be dictated to. You could be the first one to start a revolution.
I must be a baaad parent not reading all my emails properly. Just found these 2 snippets from last year.....
Ich bitte um eine/n Freiwillige/n für den Impuls beim nächsten Elternabend. Wer Lust aber noch keine Idee hat, kann sich gerne Inspiration von Frank oder mir holen. Zur Erinnerung: Der Impuls soll eine positive Einleitung des Elternabends darstellen, darf ruhig auch zum Nachdenken anregen. Denkbar ist jede Form, für den Anfang kann es auch das Vorlesen eines passenden Textes für ein paar Minuten sein. Ich bin gespannt.
This bit's funny....
Da sich bis jetzt niemand gefunden hat, der den Impuls übernehmen will, ist es vielleicht eine gute Idee, wenn sich jeder vorbereitet, und wir werden am Montag den Kandidaten auslosen
Such a shame we missed that meeting
Perhaps I am biased because my own piss poor experiences, but I tend to want to defend Dolphinears' stance. She gave it chance, the In-Laws showed their true colors so she personally backs off, but without removing her children form their extended family. To that I say bravo.
I do also think that a marriage can bring a more than just the partner into it, but it doesn't have to nor does it need to - personal choice.
I'm not completely sure about that...for some people I guess...at least I wouldn't expect something like this to happen back in my hometown. It's easy to say when you haven't been exposed to her...like Dolphinears said...passive-agressive manners. She wants most of things to look negative when you ask her about different aspects of life in Germany. Not to mention she once smiled in my face when I was talking about a relative of mine back home who always had to struggle for everything (work, family life, etc)...or about some of my workmates in Dresden (she finds funny the fact that some come from Eastern /souther-eastern Europe)...just people doing their jobs I wouldn't trust her a story like now that I got to know her, but back then...you know.It's definitely awkward...but… (another 171 words)
It really sounds like she is a tough person and what I learned in the long-term of being nitpicked directly and indirectly by my husband's family... is that, people who criticize (I mean obsessively, or even in a very passive-agressive manner like my MIL/FIL) and carry this negative energy have a lot of issues inside. My MIL pretended to be really nice in the beginning, she pretended a lot of things (using gifts as a way to sort make it seem like she 'does' like me) and then she would stab me when hubby wasn't around. My MIL literally ripped my daughter's hand out of mine one time. Being a new mother at the time, I was shocked and pissed. She did it at a moment when husband was busy taking some things out of the car and unable to see it happening. When I confronted her about… (another 273 words)
Just to update this one:
Michael was in hospital overnight with concussion, a fractured shoulder and a torn acromioclavicular ligament. He left hospital this afternoon and will be leaving Munich tomorrow, probably flying back to England over the weekend, as the fracture needs to be attended to within a week. He was lucky, it could have been a lot worse.
I was on a camping holiday in Croatia with a girlfriend a few weeks ago, and Michael and his girlfriend Terria were the only other Brits on the campsite. They were backpacking and had been traveling for a couple of months. We spent some time together and as Munich was on their wish list we invited them to stay for a few nights. I was with Michael and Terria in the HB Pig Pen last night but on the way out Michael somehow got separated and… (another 85 words)
I witnessed some cockmonkey do the same exact thing at the end of the Wilmersdorfer Strasse pedestrian zone last weekend: a car was stopped at the crossing, waiting for pedestrians (including me and my son) to cross, so he pulled out and passed the stopped car on the left (which is the opposing traffic lane, since it's only a 2-lane street). He came about an inch from sideswiping the person who was walking about a foot on front of me. I when I reflexively called out "hey", he rolled down his window and told me to "halt die Schnauze" and sped off.
I wrote down his license plate, but didn't have the presence of mind to get the names of any of the other people who witnessed it. That's why I've been debating making a police report. Maybe I will… (another 1 words)
But, back on topic, the soldier will be sent home for Article 15 proceedings. His actions are detrimental to the US cause on foreign land. He will be flipping burgers and changing grease from the fryers.
or put the burdens back on her. For each incident, ask her to explain her reasoning...in detail. "Why is my spoon incorrect? Where does that come from? If I see a stranger doing this, should I say something? Where should I put the spoon? Should I put it down wet or wipe it dry in my mouth first? Right side, left side?" et.al. If you do this interrogation for each incident, she might tire or begin to see the silliness of it all. On the other hand, if she offers a cogent reply, you might begin to tune into her reasoning and be convinced that she's right. win. win.
Your girlfriend's mother truly believes that she is being helpful. And we all know about that - "Helping is the sunny side of control."
Seriously, whatever you do as long as you two are together, live as far away as possible from her family. Otherwise you will be under the lady's thumb all the time. You will be obligated to have cake and coffee together with the family EVERY weekend and attend ALL family events. They will suck the life out of you while your girlfriend with think it is all perfectly normal.
I grew up in the south and other than eating with my mouth closed and not putting my knees up at the table, I wasn't taught very good table manners. My second MIL helped me a lot in this arena in a very kind way and I am forever grateful. I never knew that I should… (another 23 words)
About the rudest thing I can think of is walking up to a (near) perfect stranger and picking apart their behavior bit by bit. Unless you are 12 years old, Mark, and staying at their house over the holidays, it's unbelievably crass and inappropriate for her to make any comment whatsofuckingever about your table manners, posture or anything else that isn't actually leaving a mark on the carpet.
I'm not saying it's not natural to have an opinion and everybody's raised different, but almost worldwide the polite thing to do when a guest comes over to your house is to not draw attention to any "mistakes" they make, in case they become mortified and wish they were dead. The POLITE thing to do is to graciously ignore it even if they mention it themselves, along the lines… (another 309 words)
Just my two cents... I'm a girl born and raised in Oberbayern, and this woman is a bitch. If she is concerned about who is going to be raising her grandchildren she still needs to realise it's her daughter's, and ONLY her daughter's choice. As someone else here said, push back, push back hard, then push back some more. Set your limits, and if necessary be a bit rude, cause what you might consider rude is just the normal way of talking among Bavarians ;-). Good luck!!!
Hey emkay, as an Elternvertreter myself and a very active parent supporting my kids schools (actually donating a computer in the morning) I find this guys behaviour appalling.
Real world rules when it comes to elternvertreter:
They have no jurisdiction. "Period" with a Capitol f**king P.
They are there if needed to assist with issues between the teachers and parents.
They have to be present (one of the three elected) at the "zeugniss konference" where they listen to the grades the kids got but have no veto or any other rights. The are mere observers.
Without going into to much detail that's about where it stops in the specific class.
Now having been doing this for more than 4 years I realize there are many parents that get very overexcited and think they can… (another 175 words)
Maybe it's telling that this chap was one of the minority in favour of the school not changing back to the G9 system. His blunt attitude was that if parents don't like it then they should move their kids to another school. Various Gehetze were also quoted in emails in shouts emboldened capitals! The school did change back though sadly not affecting this year group.
I did write to him (can't copy and paste sometimes with this iOS 8) along the lines that we were disappointed with his response and would hope that any type of family would show some compassion given my husband's very polite explanation of our current difficult personal circumstances. And, that the situation remains that we are not in a position nor willing to be further coerced into taking the action he proposes.… (another 20 words)
There are times when I thank the good Lord that I do not have children, especially in the German school system.
This is one of those times.
I shared this thread with Mr. Porky Pine, who said he'd be tempted to deliver an exhilarating 10-15 minute speech, preferably in English, on either the difference between dictatorships and democracies as evidenced in today's school-oriented groups, or the importance of good communication in emails, or even a speech about bullying among adults.
I myself tend to go for the Kumbaya suggestion, accompanied by a poorly played and really out-of-tune guitar and sung by someone who can't hold a tune to save themselves. Mr. Porky Pine would be a fine candidate for the latter, but sadly, he has no time to attend such an absolutely riveting evening… (another 65 words)
Emkay, for you and for the grand cause of providing an Impuls for an Elternbeirat evening that will go down in history, I would go so far as to dress up in a skimpy luau outfit, put flowers in my hair, wear a lei around my neck and perhaps bring some maracas for Mr. Porky Pine to shake while he sings and dances with you, all to the soothing tune of Kumbaya. I think you'll need some castanets to help embellish our fine musical entertainment.
I'm really starting to get excited about this.....
How about maybe passing out a bunch of little cards with Peace and Love printed on them and decorated with hearts and flowers? We could also do a line dance on round #35 of Kumbaya, thereby engaging all attendees, who by then will have fallen into a dull stupor.
They won't know what hit them.
You'll… (another 15 words)
I am happy because I spent the day on a course run by the Staatliche Feuerwehrschule Geretsried, learning how to rescue people trapped in cars and lorries after an accident.
I am absolutely exhausted now, but it feels really good to have had the opportunity to learn so much in one day!
Hah, the Plague. I studied and worked in Amsterdam for a few years. Great town. I couldn't live anywhere else in the Netherlands, to be honest, but the Hague is a nice town, and Amsterdam isn't too far away. Student life consists of going to cafes, and bars/clubs with mostly silly music on Thursdays and weekends. The international crowd often stick together, with a few Dutchies tagging along off and on. Should be fine. You can join a club (studentenvereniging) based on your field of study, and then you will have a new group of locals as well.
I disagree that Dutch is harder than German. I'm having a much harder time with the rules here, and a am already fairly familiar with novel concepts in Dutch that aren't in English. The accent is a bit odd, but grammar wise, Dutch feels… (another 244 words)
[ Apropos of nothing, That's always been exactly the type of girl I can't resist.
Also apropos of nothing, before being intimidated by scabies infested, badly bearded hipsters, let me relate a little story that happened when I was living in the 6th burrough of New York, Jersey City, affectionately known by us locals as "Dirty Shitty" and fronting more street cred than Kruezburg could dare to imagine in its most depraved of self-congratulatory wet dreams, of which it has many.
So I'm walking to the PATH on a brisk fall day to catch the train over to Christopher Street (what a beautiful opening sentence! It not only locates the story in time and space, it also serves notice to any cocky hipster inerlocutors that I quail not before their hipness, for I am the sort of… (another 400 words)
It sounds a bit more polite than their request but it isn't, really. I added a sentence emphasizing that you did not volunteer to perform this task and therefore do not feel obliged to find a replacement.
You might go so far as to tell them that "meine private Familiensituation erfordert derzeit mehr Zuwendung als die Elterngemeinschaft" (my private situation demands more attention than the community of parents).
Who is this idiot? Is he/she the captain in charge of a ship? Much rather just a busybody.
What would I do? Just forget the whole Verein and leave them alone. I for sure wouldn't answer, all what has to be said (I don't want to do what you want me to do) has been said already. I (you) am not his or her servant.
Thanks for all the moral support and laughs
We have attended some parent's only meetings though over the past year less and less so as they go on until very late evening and always end up in some über alpha parents scrapping which can be quite amusing though mostly irritating and unnecessary. This particular meeting is to elect new Elternbeirat parents so not something we felt needed our attendance.
My husband did send an email along the lines of what bramble suggested (thank you bramble). He pointed out that we attend when we can though on this occasion, we can't. He also explained that we are not in a position to find another mug to replace our cumbaya, guitar stint.
The latest flurry of copied in emails included heated quoting of hessischer Gesetze to one chap who felt it… (another 148 words)
No, he actually means that you're supposed to phone up parents on the list and ask them (as opposed to simply volunteering their name the way he did with you) to do it. I would just tell him again that you are unable to attend and that he'll have to find a replacement himself. Case closed.
She's a bitch. If your manners are good enough for your girlfriend her mother should keep her snobbish opinions to herself.
Tell her that when you and her daughter are married you will be living in South Africa where people are more concerned with home security than how to hold a fork. That should give her food for thought.
The prospective MIL is messing with you big time, and your radar is perfectly right.
I've met several mothers like that.
Basically, things are off to a bad start already, and the war is on. As you have nothing to lose, yes, I would push back - politely, but quite hard.
Then even harder, as the German perception of rudeness/firmness is not the same as in other countries.
Then push some more.
But that's Bavaria, not Ile-de-France. Over here it's common to drink beer from a bottle in restaurant. Unless it's Weizenbier, then it can only be drunk from special Weizenbier Krug, everything else is strictly forbidden.
Also it's important to know that with Weizenbier Krug you use the bottom part of it to touch the glasses of others after saying "cheers", while with all other types of glasses (including Bavarian Maß) you use the upper and/or front part.
These are two only table manners in Bavaria.
Nonetheless, it will be possible to get this person out, as long as the OP is persistent and gets a good lawyer.
This is no 90-year-old blind granny who just getting by on a fixed income - it's a high-earning dentist whose lifestyle is subsidized further by the below-market rent he pays. The court will surely take this fact into account should it come to that.
As friendly as tenant protection laws are in Germany, property rights are also enforced.
Yes, chris999, Eigenbedarf should only be allowed in very, very exceptional circumstances, but buying a place in the expectation of being able to live there is one of them.
To me it seems you have never really thought about the word capitalism. Its Oxford dictionary online definition is "An economic and political system in which a country’s trade and industry are controlled by private owners for profit, rather than by the state". It's about making profit, not providing a better service. And to a large degree the rule of law implies that you get what you negociate, not what you deserve.
You as a landlord claim it is fair for you to try and maximise your profit. When the tenant does exactly the same thing by trying to keep his costs down you say it's unethical. That is inconsistent to say the least. In Germany you can, but the contract has to state the reason for its limitation.
You are a landlord I and probably 1000s of others would love to rent a property from.
My experience with my old landlord was nothing but basically as he like many landlords rents out property purely to benefit financially and apart from actually buying the property seems to think that no other financial outlay is needed.If you offer a service (which renting out accommodation is) then you need to deliver that service to a good standard which many landlords fail to do.
Since we have the new landlord the rent has gone up only twice in 4 years and the whole place has improved,repairs are done quickly etc etc and I have absolutely no problem with paying more for that service.More work has been done in those 4 years than in the 10 before it we were living there.
The other side of the argument is… (another 341 words)
Just a small thing, but I now have a new PC at work, Windows 7 to replace XP or even earlier! Wow, it's like moving from a donkey cart to a sports car!
Also, my son is coming to visit for a week, staring Friday. Haven't seen him for almost a year, so greatly looking forward to that.
There's an organisation in Frankfurt, Berami, which is dedicated to helping migrant women with joining the job market and finding jobs that match their qualifications through various means (advice, coaching, mentoring). Good luck!
Our current intern doesn't drive, so since our pool car had a service appointment at the BMW dealership just around the corner from the office, I drove it over. After waiting for ages, I flagged down someone, so as to be able to hand over the key and the car.
I never drive this car, and couldn't answer some of the questions that were asked about the type of service needed. But I did notice a big "D" lighting up on the dashboard on the drive over there, and concluded that must be a type of service (after A, B, C...).
When I mentioned it, the guy looked puzzled and we went out to have a look... turns out, it's a "D" for "drive" (car is an automatic). D'oh...
To the clueless Heidelberg University student:
Today, when I arrived at the foreigner's office, you were on the telephone with my agent. She answered the same question for you six times then asked you if you needed the info in English. You seemed irritated and she was trying to be nice. You proceeded to continue to be a dick to her as I stood there and watched her face turn more and more red. As she hung up the phone, she exclaimed a few choice words which I dutifully forgot as they hung in the air. I am so glad she told me that you weren't American. That would have really screwed with my day.
Remember something: it's called an "erlaubnis" for a reason. You don't have a right to it and it is not an entitlement. How about you stop up the agent's day so that she… (another 38 words)
Shouldn't they have asked for volunteers for this sort of thing during the last meeting? Surely, they can't just decide over your head that you should do it, especially if you hadn't even attended the last meeting and can't know if you are going to attend the next one.
Just write back to the person who sent you the email and tell them straight to the point:
Sehr geehrter Elternbeirat,
vielen Dank für Ihre Mitteilung, jedoch möchten wir Sie in Kenntnis setzen, dass wir an der angekündigten Elternversammlung nicht teilnehmen werden. Wir sind uns auch nicht bewusst, dass wir uns freiwillig für einen Beitrag gemeldet hätten, und da wir keinen Kontakt zu den anderen Eltern haben, sind wir auch nicht in der Lage, einen Vertreter zu nennen.
Da wir grundsätzlich nicht an… (another 39 words)
An Impuls is just a sort of introductory activity. Something to break the ice for the rest of the meeting, although not in the sense of learning names. To get the creative juices flowing.
Should probably last around 5-10 min, and you can do just about anything.
I have 4 kids previously enrolled in both Staatliche (public) and Waldorf (private) Kindergärten and Schulen, and through several years of interactions with the various school/parent organizations, this sort of thing became a huge pet peeve of mine. It's really presumptuous and rude in several regards, but it happens all too often, that parents use email to hash out personal differences, denigrate others' parenting, and "volunteer" one another for activities that may or may not fit with the participating parents' school-involvement priorities and abilities. Assuming that the other families are at least marginally aware that German is not your Muttersprache, expecting you to not only be responsible for the Impuls activity without having asked if you were in a position… (another 132 words)
Man, I'm not surprised that we get threads here every week about how "I'm just not fitting in" or "I'm having problems with the organisers of my Kita" when something which (I assume) is a standard thing at these meetings to break the ice is taken the piss out of. Seriously people, it's five minutes doing something light hearted...
The OP's tenant probably isn't going to go just because the OP pays for the move- the rent is so low for a place of that size that he has every incentive to drag the process out as long as possible. Think about it this way- what would the tenant have to pay for a similar apartment (and add the cost of a kitchen if the new apartment would lack one) for however long he calculates he can hold off the Eigenbedarf and add moving costs to that if you want to approximate what the OP might have to offer. Of course, the OP's current additional expenses and potential legal costs also have to be taken into account when she is determining whether to negotiate with the tenant. My guess is that the tenant saves at least 1K in rent a month by not paying the market price, kitchens can cost as… (another 16 words)
I think you need to do a bit more research, to get yourself clear on definitions - NHS is the epitome of public health insurance.
You might want to read the TT Wiki page on insurance, if you haven't yet.
I just joined the forum today though I have been observing comments for a long time. I am German by nationality, but I am not ethnically German.
I do not think that economic migrants comprise skilled people or highly skilled people. Sure, many of us moved to Germany for different reasons. However in my case, I could have stayed back where I originally come from and still have had a good life. The downsides would be that there would be more pollution, corruption and quite bad infrastructure. However, if I were to go back today, I would probably earn the same, have a really high flying job and have people to do a lot of household work for me.
That said, I would probably be expected to spend at least 12 hours a day in the office, and be "on call". I would also have to put up with… (another 594 words)
As much as I admire your efforts in firefighting the thickheaded idiocy of people like ZGE, I also despair that there are those who even bother rising to the bait of these self styled climate deniers. Just accept it, he's an utter cunt and a waste of skin and move on.
Hey OP, if you are from small town american, go home, grab your old clothing, and out hip the hipsters.
seriously, these hipster posers would give an arm or a leg for an authentic FFA jacket (and if you are from small town American, you should know what it is). I have colleagues here in München who have invested heavily in a wardrobe entirely of t-shirts that say Carhart. When I show up to work in my actually used US extremely functional stained brown duck Carhart work pants (that cost about 30$), they drool with envy. They spend more for a probably counterfeit t-shirt that is basically the same as every other tshirt. Check out what Levi's cost here and see what these folks pay for looking like an American (and note that Levis from the US are a far superior product).
If you are… (another 151 words)