This week's top-rated posts
Chaos, how awful for you having to move again at such short notice. I think that you might just have to look at this period of time being exceptional circumstances and that any of his promises to care for you (I remember he does cups of tea) are temporarily out of the window. You are the stronger of the pair of you and trying to challenge his behavior now would be a waste of time. Someone once told me....never try to catch a falling knife. Heard the same saying about shares but whatever, makes some sense.
Once you have moved and things are calmer then you can talk rationally about how he reacted and what help might be necessary.
Makes me laugh remembering when we moved out of our flat a couple of years ago. It was boiling hot and packing was stressful though my husband spent most of his… (another 71 words)
There are transgender people in Germany, too, so as you said, you're not the first person facing this situation.
Why not just call the German consulate nearest you? I'm sure they'll be able to provide you with all the information you need in either English or French.
Incidentally, while Germany doesn't have gay marriage as such, it does have registered partnerships (Eingetragene Partnerschaften). This was a fudge at first, that gave same-sex couples some rights, but not full marriage equality with regard to pensions, taxes, etc. The German supreme court has gradually put an end to these limits over the years.
Oh lord, here we go again...
My husband is very stressed. So am I, actually; this is the not surprising effect of receiving an eviction (not our fault!) notice on 8th Jan and arranging to move on 31st Jan. It has been, and is, manic. And I'm speaking at a conference 200 miles away on Feb 3rd. And so on and on.
First few days I was in a hole, emotionally. Viewing houses (many in horrifically bad condition!) didn't make me feel any better. Cue a big fight with husband over nothing much because we were both so strung out. But we found a place. All planned out for moving, husband decides we Must pack immediately or we won't have time - despite his very deep-seated hatred of boxes and mess. We're now a little over a week into the mess of boxes and... actually we're… (another 548 words)
Up to today, I have jokingly told people that I have not broken any bones this year.
I suppose it takes a special skill set but I managed to fracture the third right metacarpal at the swimming pool - the locker door stealthily yet lethaly and accurately swung closed just as I was stashing my sports bag, the peg that gets magnetized when you turn the lock hit the back of my right hand dead center, paralyzing it for over a minute, and within three minutes I had a bruise the size and shape of a small walnut protruding between the middle and ring finger tendons.
As fractures go it's pretty harmless but a nuisance. At least it didn't prevent me from swimming 800 m before work.
SP, I know from my supervisor at work that his daughter wanted to move here from 300km away with 3 kids. The father of her youngest who I think is now 4-5 years old got the move stopped based on that he would have a problem visiting his child. This is although the father does not have shared custody and actually is only allowed supervised visits. Also in spite of that his daughter is on welfare there while she had a job offer here. The court said she can move no further away than 100km.
Concerning getting a definite statement, I like LostInLuneburg's suggestion best, but tor's might be the one more likely for success.
Yes, you are letting fear govern how you react to the mother's power plays. I know because I have been there. I also know that that is just the way it is, because the mother can and will (has proven) that she will play dirty, real dirty. That means for all that here that don't understand, there is a very real chance that the mother will inhibit or at the least ruin the relationship SP has with his daughter. Going ballistic WILL backfire.
I of course don't know all the details of your situation, but it seems to me that you need a better "club" (weapon). As the mother is German, and as Germans have an inbred respect of authority/offices,… (another 127 words)
Flew down yesterday with my family from Munich to Marrakech. An unbelievable flight after we left the clouds over Munich. All the way down we enjoyed spectacular views from a cloudless sky. First over the Alps all the way down over the Straits of Gibraltar. I fly a lot, but this was exceptional. My poor children had to endure a geography and history lesson the whole way down!
Despite only half of my brain cells working right now, I challenged myself to look at what I reckoned, was our overpriced car insurance. After a few phone calls and online calculations with other insurers, I managed to get 25% discount from our current insurer plus a part refund of a recent payment. Brain cells can rest now until tomorrow's mobile phone account challenge. It's really worth checking what you pay.
My sister and I spent three happy days together and the mini-cooking school was successful. She's on her way back to Tacoma knowing that she could make anything. A lot of hands-on kitchen time resulted in pie crust and muffins, and quick things like quesadillas. Next time, yeast breads!
I normally don't reply to these posts but this time I do feel a need to weigh in.
As an American living in Germany I've noticed one thing -- native Germans tend to have a general attitude of NO SYMPATHY. In a dispute, they will show little or no concern for the sufferings of others -- they'll just pile it on even more. So it was against the homeless guy and now so it is against you.
Giving the homeless guy some coffee, even if it was understood he should drink it and then just go, violated this unwritten rule.
Sometimes it works to get angry with such people, although now that this has escalated to a quasi-legal issue, that's probably not a good idea. Instead, file as many complaints with the authorities as you can. Nose around the place and see what you can complain about… (another 183 words)
I'll start by saying that I think giving the guy a cup of coffee was a wonderful and generous act that certainly shouldn't have caused so much trouble.
I think the reason that so many people in Germany find the homeless a bit scary is precisely due to the wide and functioning safety net. There is a feeling that most of those who are on the streets despite the net are either mentally ill or severely addicted to either alcohol or drugs because those who want and are capable of asking for help get the assistance they need. Whether this sense is based on any truth at all is completely beside the point, I am just trying to explain why some Germans find homeless "scary" or "threatening" (a feeling I really don't share with them!).
Hi Emkay, that list of mine is 'the best of me' and I often fail to live up to it.
That's when it gets hard. My wife and I take a 20 minute walk each day and use that as a 'safe space' where we can have a bit of a moan about things without it building up, and just having a fixed time and place where we can both just let stuff out is a great help.
Thank you pappnase. Sounds like you are doing a great job being supportive. The last point is a big one for my husband to overcome as our marriage has been pretty much based on things being about him mainly due to his health and depression. I think it's human nature to look for quick fixes especially in this day and age of medicine. He had a tendency to revert to 'poor me' and grandly rolled out the red carpet for his pity parties. That's getting much less now as he realizes the seriousness of my situation and the fact that I just can't flick a switch to metamorphise back to the old me. With my energy levels being virtually non existent, it's so difficult to lead a normal family life that results in my intense feeling of guilt not only towards him but also my daughter.… (another 63 words)
Our kids (6 & 4) speak 3 languages, Spanish with me, English with the wife and they learnt German outside (Tagesmutter, English/German Kita and the big one in an English/German primary school). I think they are doing pretty well with the languages, they switch easily from one to another one, but I must tell it has not been easy. It is LOTS of work, you have to be patient and do not give up, you have to use all the tools you can (books, TV, movies, trips, playdates, etc). And actually spend tons of time with them and encouraging to speak in all languages.
At the beginning we made the kids believe each parent spoke only one language and if they do not speak the correct one we don't understand. When they could not get a word of course we helped them. And when they mixed up languages we… (another 169 words)
If it was fraud then it was the most modest fraudster in history. There's a reason shops give you a card receipt: it's so that when you see a transaction on your statement that you can't remember making you can look through the receipts to remind yourself what the payment was for.
3300 is too little to bypass the Vorrangprüfung, which means your employer has to prove that no European is available or qualified to do the job you're after.
Make sure your visa is approved before you spend any money on relocation.
Definitely change the lock.
Definitely have all of your friends get an injunction against these people molesting them.
Definitely tell them to crawl under a rock and die or - alternatively - play hide and go themselves.
In Germany children usually start an apprenticeship (vocational training) or go to university after finishing school. You should look for an international school that offers either the IB programme or British A Levels. You might want to start your research by reading Best school for British kids.
If your company is willing to offer you a proper expat package, I would highly recommend that you also negotiate fees for a relocation agent and a Makler (use the search function).
Maybe you could ask about an assumed new playground near the current flat and seeing how your ex responds? Something like "Lilly seems really excited a playground near the house, I'm so glad they're building one near your flat! Where are they putting it up?". That way it doesn't seem like Lilly was talking about a new apartment, just a new random playground which is completely natural and could be anywhere.
Stop letting her manipulate you. Ask her - as already recommended above - straightforwardly if she is moving and where to. You have a right to know, it's not like you have to beg for scraps of information that she can decide on providing or not.
So what exactly is standing in your way of asking her?
I'm seeing the manipulation that sarabyrd mentioned and it is looking like fear. She has trained you over the years to be afraid of her and her reactions. That is manipulation at its finest.
I know this first hand because I used to be a master manipulator. It took me a long time to learn how to respond instead of reacting. When one is used to flying off the handle, it takes real work to stop and think before responding. Believe me, it was worth the work. Manipulators aren't happy people.
Just grasping at straws here.....Lilly said it was an apartment and the fella has a house? Is the fellas house up for sale/rent? Moving that far away would mean mum would be giving up her job? Do you know any of her colleagues enough to ask in a round about way or any trusted person who does? Like you know already but don't? I remember ringing work colleague of a woman pretending to be her friend to discover she was on holiday with my then sh*t of a cheating boyfriend Have you got a friend who can find out? Know any of the kindergarten workers to ask, again in a round about way?
So sorry SP if it does mean such a big move for your little one. Looking for a bright side.....it might mean she can stay with you for longer periods of time than just weekends. Sorry, that's no consolation.
Eta.… (another 28 words)
My wife is struggling with these problems right now, so I just asked her if there is anything I am doing right that's worth sharing. Key points seemed to be
Small gestures of affection
Listening when she needs to let it out
Stepping away when thats the right thing to do
Not taking it personally
Trying not to make it 'About me'
I'm really interested to hear how husbands and partners help the lady in their lives go through menopause and depression. It seems to be an incredibly long, painful and isolating experience for both partners.
My 3 year marriage has revolved a great deal around me supporting my German husband through his heart attacks and subsequent bouts of depression. There are no prizes for my efforts though I think he's over the worst thanks to lots of time, patience, talking and brilliant advice from TT ladies. It seems that the stresses of the last few years and getting acquainted with German life have finally gotten to me and my own meltdown has started. I barely recognize myself just now and my husband is seriously trying to help me though hasn't a clue what to do for the best and I don't… (another 105 words)
Just for the record and should you ever have the misfortune to find yourself homeless - maybe it is easier than we imagine - I once saw a tramp defecating into a plastic bag at a bus-stop. He pulled up his pants and neatly put the plaggy bag into a nearby Hundeklo bin. How civilised is that?
i dont know how the homeless man came into the building. but in speaking with a couple of other people who live here, i heard that he had been around but in the front haus for several days prior to 'the morning of the latte'. (i live in the hinterhaus.) and i do know that last spring we had a mentally ill young man who was abiding in the front haus and he was peeing in the hallway in the middle of the day. he was there for weeks. i saw him a bunch of times. he even helped me look for my noble wiener dog one day when he fled the confines of our bungalow. i really believe that young man wasnt trying to piss anyone off, he was just totally out of his tree. but i can imagine a few of the tenants in the building werent loving that. i know that sometimes the front door is not closing properly.… (another 222 words)
I would not put ANYTHING in writing for these kooky people, especially not anything that admits to giving the guy a coffee. No telling where that could go
but the last point...that's actually very interesting. I have to wonder if the Hausmeister and HV are freaking out like this because they are already anticipating such an accusation (from someone - possibly totally unrelated to the OPs incident) and looking for a patsy or other distraction to take the heat off of them?
In any case I think it's a very good point, and maybe it should be raised if they don't chill out.
ETA: now I'm just really curious - OP do you know how the homeless guy gained access to your building?
Example of the same in the US - early October we visited Crater Lake (most impressive) and at the end went to the Visitor's Center 15 minutes before closing time.
5 minutes before 5 and again 2 minutes before there were loud "we're closing" announcements & promptly at five the doors were locked.
This didn't trouble us but to imply that this doesn't happen elsewhere isn't true at all.
I didn't read any phrases like "from your employers perspective" or "effectively" or "from a legal perspective" so the whole thing did come accross as what she believed, not just a bland, judgement-free statement of the position the OP is in.
travelling alone is great, the only problem is you quickly find others to travel with. I once did a latin america trip where I spent the first night alone in a hotel and the rest of the tour (6 + months) in various groups, never alone. Tons of fun.
Some necessary gear:
ear plugs for hostels (super important if you are a dorm and actually like sleeping, the inevitable 5am early train risers who have everything in crunchy plastic bags is a universal constant).
10 words in each language where you will visit (hello, thanks, cuppa, sprechen Sie Englisch, vino, por favor,...) minimum.
map(s) and general idea of what you want to see.
research on good train deals in the countries you are visiting (ie, germany, Schöneswochenende tickets, Ländertickets, etc) if you want to save on transport.
Know… (another 46 words)
Of course it's safe (although you need to take normal precautions, as you should anywhere); girls of 20 have been doing this for decades!
Most places in Europe are safer (at night, for example) than some urban areas in Australia.
If you want to connect with other travellers, stay at hostels (not necessarily youth hostsls; if you don't like roughing it by sleeping in dorms, there are plenty of higher class hostels where you can book a single room, but which still have common areas for guests to sit, make themselves something to eat, etc..)
Sorry, but signing anything without either reading or understanding what you are signing is a bit "naive"..... Somebody may ask you to do this but you're the mug if you do!
I'm so happy today because it's my birthday and my wonderful husband gave me these beautiful flowers he chose himself. He told me yesterday he had to go to the fussgangerzone to get some flowers because there had to be flowers for my birthday. Once there he proceeded to pick out and pay for five packages of different flowers to bring home. I suggested he let the lady make them into a bouquet and it came out so beautiful.
We're heading now to have coffee and then hike in the forest and out for dinner later. I'm having a very happy birthday!
I bet it will never happen to you conquistador to see the similarity between the social and cultural conditioning of Moslems when one of them dares to criticise their, his religion and the social and cultural conditioning happening every day in Israel and within the Jewish community when it comes to criticism or even only doubts and concerns about Israel's policy based on the believe that there is a divine right to occupy other people's territory with all the humanitarian catastrophe due to this because your ancestors used to live there 2000 years ago.
Israel's leading political class , their supporters and a big part of the Jewish community practice a witch hunt on anyone openly opposed to their policy.
Conquistador. My comments are NOT anti-Jewish. Just because I am not in support of some practices of the Israeli government, does not make me anti-Jewish. So I am kindly asking you to stop trying to publicly tarnish me on this forum, by accusing me of being Anti-Semitic when you know damn well that I am not, and you have no evidence of such. Please note, your personal twisted opinion does not count as justification for your public accusations. The way you hope to silence critics of certain Israeli policies, is by accusing them of antisemitism.
Here you are basically accusing TT of being a breeding ground for Antisemitism. There are so many varying opinions on TT on so many issues, but because ALL TT members do not fully support all actions of the Israeli government, then you accuse it of… (another 7 words)
No Conquistador, that post was not filled with anti-Jewish comments. I guess if I said blacks in the USA need to get over the whole slavery thing, you would call me a racist, and anti-black.
And that harsh criticism of Israel on here is exactly what it is HARSH CRITICISM. Although you would twist it to serve your purpose in trying to make it seems like everyone is anti-Jew.
There is harsh criticism of Barrack Obama on here, but I don't see you calling anyone Anti-American because of that, or anti-black. So why do you do it when it is criticism against Israel?
The person put the same ad up in 26 different german cities. And 33 similar ads. With the immobilienscout24 account of a rental agency in Düsseldorf. I assume the password was weak.
It´s all fakes. Friday night to sunday night is the best time to put them up, as most immobilienscout24 employees are not working at that time.
85m^2 for 350 Euro + utilities, 250 m walk from Marienplatz.
Is in real life: http://www.fewo-direkt.de/ferienwohnung-ferienhaus/p2019005
an apartment in Allgäu / Bodensee. That can be rented for 305 euro for 2 days.
I found this via google inverse picture search.
If I start entering sopaxa into google search, it will be completed to sopaxa@gmail.
Searching for that it´s a name listed months ago at the Fake ad blog
99,99% of landlords in munich do all corrospendance in perfect german, not english
99,99%… (another 88 words)
So? Your 3yo kid has a doctor's appointment every other week! Great, fine, terrible. I don't care. Why do I have to book my holidays around your kid??? If you cannot take care of your kids without impacting your fellow man, wear a condom!
Welcome to Germany...
So I fly for 12 hrs overnight and arrive a little jaded in Germany.
Now need to grab the bags, clear customs and get to the next flight.
Just 2 guys from the Bundespolizei (BP) checking passports. Queue not too long.
New BP shouts STOP and pushes through the queue to get to the checkpoint.
Now we all watch as they all stop work and chat for a while. Queue grows.
As the old shift departs (it will be another 5 minutes before the new shift starts)
the BP pushes past me - the wrong way up a narrow queue - and falls over my handluggage.
"And YOU need to move your luggage" he shouts in aggressive tones (in German)
Yes, I am back in good ol' Germany all right.
It is always that dummy logic that I can't believe educated people buy it: If a crime is committed by a Muslim it is Islam's fault, if a crime it is committed by a Christian it is just a crime.
FYI, jeba, I followed up on that same claim of yours a few months ago when you posted a link to the wanted list of your local police in another thread.
It might help you to overcome your fear of a disproportionate ratio of non-ethnic German criminal activities in your local area if you were to know that, of the 5 'no ethnic Germans' on that list;
2 were Croatians wanted for the armed robbery of a casino in Munich (not exactly a local crime in your area) 1 was (AFAIR) a Bulgarian, last known of in B-W, wanted for defrauding members of his own family (probably not a high threat to local residents) 1, thought to be of Turkish origin, was wanted for crimes committed in NRW (again probably not a high threat to local residents) 1 of (IIRC) Czechoslovakian nationality (at the time of the… (another 96 words)
I think we all are inclined to confuse things when it comes to the behaviour of men which we thing are Muslims.
The typical wife beating, the typical killing of a wife or a daughter has IMO much more to do with the "village society " most Muslims we know come from(and still live in their Ghetto and inn their mind) I know little about the Islam religion and the Koran. However I doubt that these crimes are the recommended and accepted punishments there. And I bet that the absolutely vast majority of Muslims disapproves such crimes.
I compare it with the men from Sicily who, at least till not long ago, go out with their shotgun and shoot down any imagined or real lover of their wives. In order to restore their honour within their village society . Not in the name of Christianity. Although… (another 3 words)
You're both very kind, so Thank You!
Mrs C. always used to describe me as a closed flower in Germany, yet when we went back to the UK, I opened up. I'd banter with perfect strangers. It's just my nature.
Today I bantered with a sprightly, old-aged pensioner; a group of Turkish male teens at a bus stop, and a very, attractive woman in a clothes shop. In German. In Germany.
I kinda like my mid-life crisis.
Why Germany? Germany has too many architects and not enough jobs for all of them. Many German architects work in other branches or work abroad (the Middle East used to be a very popular destination).
What is your obsession with Germany? I would go back to America, make some cash, & come back with a solid plan. Before your visa expires. I'm not saying give up rather have a little patience, some financial backing, & better thoughts on how you will make it work instead of putting yourself in this situation.
I also could not care less about grammar especially on a forum but it is bizarre someone teaching English would say "should have went". And then defend it by saying it is a common phrase. So is "yous", for people of a certain education level.
Well, what do we know about you?
You want to buy a house for a budget of about 30.000€ and can't yet afford to do much work on it.
The area you're looking at is quite a way from regions/cities with plenty of work on offer.
You seem to want to live in the house, because you've mentioned freetime activities like cycling in the mountains as things you enjoy doing.
From those givens, I think it was fair to assume you would want to work in the area of the place you buy.Or are you intending to buy it and then go live in a city with more jobs, paying high rent and leaving your property empty?
In any case, if you state clearly what your intentions are, maybe you'll get more relevant advice.
Of course, in translation there may be some work from home...but you'd need to build… (another 38 words)
I meant that I have no interest in working as a translator. Im sorry if that wasnt clear. Hence The question here is what you plan to do, and where you plan to work. It is only now that you introduce a second language (french) for translation. If you are not clear with what you plan to do then noone is going to be able to give you helpful info. As I have repeatedly said, I presume you will be working from home and therefore are not dependant upon local translation rates but that isnt actually so clear.
So lets start again. What would you like to do professionally (be specific, are you planning to learn german and translate that, or stick with french and chinese or...) and how (from home, commute to somewhere...) do you intend to do it? Once we know that we can give useful advice on potential… (another 2 words)
That is like one of the first "lessons" you learn auto renewal is standard here. Generally speaking you have to cancel the contract with 6 weeks to 3 months before it renews. Check the AGBs and somewhere in there will be details on how to cancel, basically an address to send a letter to. They may not accept it but try sending a letter asking them to cancel the letter beginning of the next month.
Use this text (note formatting might be a be weird)
[size="3"]Company name and address[/size]
Kündigung der (name of insurance)
[center][center] [/center][/center]Versicherungsschein Nr. (customer number)
[size="3"]Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren der… (another 54 words)
hi jeba. thanks for yr suggestion. it sounds like a good idea but i think then the hausmeister would try to place a report against the homeless man for trespassing in the building as he placed a report against the other witness and claimed that witness called him an asshole. also, the homeless man was/is very sweet (ive seen him around since then) but had the aroma of alcohol on his person and i imagine he is thrown out of buildings by angry hausmeisters fairly often. i dont know that he would remember this one incident so clearly. also i wouldnt want him to get in trouble for helping me if the hausmeister goes after him. i dont know how i would get a statement from him without basically writing my version and asking him to sign it which seems like im putting words in his mouth and even then… (another 17 words)
Just trying to understand this...ok, you can´t have automatic insurance for your daughter, you say your baby can´t be insured by Techniker but, yes, she can. But only if you pay. And that´s not convenient.
You say you have no problem..hello? You have an uninsured daughter? And public insurance is hassling? Ok, I agree, the system is mind-boggling...but your daughter´s welfare is not top of the list? Hello?
Lensman, honor murder also occurs in the US. And leaders in the American Muslim community condemn them.
edit: Let's call it what it is - domestic violence. And that is far from a Muslim-only problem.
So stormwatch why is your god better than the other gods?
are you saying that the bible is the truth and dinosaur fossils are just there to "test our faith"?
Why read a bloody 1000year old book as the truth when if you read a medical bible from 100 years ago you piss youself laughing at how primitive the ideas were.. but science moved on. You didnt
Get in touch with reality.
Communism today? Communism in pre-WWII Poland. Atheism ruling Poland. Today and in the past?
But hey, who will ever be able to open the eyes of a religious zealot?
The most progressive and peaceful countries tend to be the ones where the population is less religious not more (Scandinavia for example), so stormwatch's point really is moot.
After multiple disappointments I have no faith in your type of med. doctor so when you advised me to take what we use as an abortive for farm animals in order to sleep during the second trimester of my pregnancy I though "may be it does not work the same on women" (it does actually).
Then when you paternally patted my shoulder advising me to "not read too much on the internet" I though ' idiot".
But sending me a prescription for a medecine that I actually told you had landed me in a coma last time I took it, sending it so that I receive on friday afternoon when your practice is closed. Well that wins the cake!
I now know you intention is to kill me and my baby, or you are indeed a idiot...
5 months, no eggs.
Much legemehl eaten, quails eggs quite cheap over Christmas in Lidl. Maths really not working out, here. Perhaps we'll just eat the little buggers.
steevh you need to take a step back and describe what you are thinking. If the idea is to hang out in deepest saxony and do chinese to english translation then there just isnt going to be any work locally.
Since you will not be able to work locally you may as well take on international clients, so the rates will be whatever you can currently get.
What languages are you planning to translate, you experience seems to be all in chinese to english translation and demand for that here is approximately zero, do you have experience translating german?
Rates I have seen for german to english are between about 10 and 30 cents per word, mostly towards the lower end. But honestly worrying about per word rates is premature, the first question is whether you can find work at all and honestly unless… (another 71 words)
Greg Rutherford Carries Injured Deer Home
British Olympian Greg Rutherford handed Doris over to an animal hospital after finding her with a broken leg.
[admincopyright]Olympian Greg Rutherford has revealed the sad ending of the story of an injured deer he carried home in an attempt to help it.
The long-jump record holder came across the injured deer while out walking his dogs near his home in Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire.
"Just carried an injured deer about two miles home and now awaiting the RSPCA to come and help the little fella. Poor thing has a broken leg," the 28-year-old winner of gold at the London 2012 Olympics told his Twittter followers.
The RSPCA said it was likely to have to put the deer down because of its broken leg so Rutherford decided to contact another local… (another 152 words)
Note for the future that Ikea now has a lifetime refund policy for most items.
Therefore if you're moving a long distance, you can take your used furniture back, get a refund*, then buy new stuff at your next location.
No need to bother moving your Ikea furniture (well apart from to the store!).
* Sadly only works if you have the original receipt and was bought after 25/08/2014.
linky: Ikea Germany guarantee
As an Indian woman, I think the threat of being molested is much higher in India. Even if it isn't rape, people ogling, groping etc. is unfortunately very common. I have traveled alone plenty of times in Europe and felt absolutely safe. But I would never travel alone in India. Traveling in a group is fine, especially more so if there is a male presence in the group .
Mumbai to Goa train should be fine, although not as comfortable as the German trains. But I would recommend traveling first class to someone who isn't used to how things work (or don't) in India.
Have a nice trip!
This is highly contingent upon the person having their high qualifications recognised in this country. There are also plenty of hochqualifizierte foreigners who would love to work in their chosen fields, are better trained than their German counterparts but who have met the brick wall of bureaucracy and are not going to move beyond their Migrationshintergrund anytime soon.
Thanks Jaycool! I found a place to stay for a few more nights, not sure what I'll be doing after that so I might just have to PM you. I mean, even f I don't need the help (but I am sure I will) it would still be nice to just meet up and chat. Really appreciative of all the advice you've given me.
If any of you guys are at all interested I had my meeting yesterday. Basically you all were mostly right, they are looking to hire me as a freelancer and there are a ton of hoops I have to jump through before I get my visa. On Monday I will be going in to actually sign the "agreement" and get the paperwork and letters from the company for me to take to immigration. They did tell me that it was mostly me dong it on my own, but they can help grease the wheels a little bit.… (another 570 words)
I also didn't mind working at Berlitz. The people are friendly and there was a lot of work.
For the freelance visa you will need at least 2 letters/contracts from language schools. As I mentioned, go in person to as many schools as you can. If all your paperwork is in order, insurance, anmeldung, etc, and all you have is the Berlitz contract, you could try to bat your eyes at the Welcome Center and maybe they will help you a little.
thanks to everyone who replied to my post. i appreciate everyone's suggestions and comments. i already feel a bit better. but i do not feel too optimistic that i can talk with the hausmeister or lady from the hausverwaltung as they both tried to place police reports against me for abusing the hausmeister. the hausverwaltung's frau told the police she heard me call the hausmeister an asshole through the telephone. the police didnt allow her to file a complaint though, thank god. i wanted to just drop the police report but i got a little free counseling on the matter and that is evidently very dangerous to do if the hausmeister doesn't drop his report against me then im the one who looks guilty in the end. so im kind of forced into filing a strafantrag, which is the last thing i want… (another 264 words)
We need more people like you who treats others well, and not just walks into everyone Homeless people and other people are treated quite badly by a large percentage of the population.
Someone sent me a long email today on the comic legend that was, Bob Hope. Here are a few of his thoughts. Enjoy.
On turning 70. "I still chase women, but only downhill".
On turning 80. "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing".
On turning 90. "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake".
On turning 100 "I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap".
On giving up his early boxing career. "I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them".
On never winning an Oscar. "Welcome to The Academy Awards, or, as it's called in my house. Passover.
On Presidents. "I have performed for 12 Presidents, but… (another 45 words)
Having worked as a teacher in a Gymnasium I would say it's significantly more than "some" of the apparent rigidity in the system that comes from the teachers. 95% of the rigidity in the system comes from the teachers, many of whom (in my experience) refused point blank to even acknowledge any other way of doing things.
I'm wondering how the evening in Munich went. It sounded interesting. I would like to know how much the teachers were featured in the discussion on discrimination because I think that plays a big role. Granted - I taught in the country so my experience is probably not typical of all Gymnasien - but in the entire history of the school, I was the very first obviously ethnic teacher. The one and only, and I didn't come through the system here. There was nobody… (another 151 words)
But 3 days before the end of her Probezeit IS within the Probezeit. It doesn't say in the law that the end date of working also has to be within the Probezeit.
From post #1, it looks like she received the termination notice within the Probezeit, but there was still more than 2 weeks to the end of her actual contract - OP's first post was on 20 Jan, and the friend had already left the country at that time; last date of contract was 31 Jan.
I have often heard of people getting their termination on the day before their Probezeit was due to end. It doesn't mean that is their last day of employment.
Hi EhVuhnArgh <-- I'll never remember how to spell your username so I might have to resort to calling you Eva
I've not been in your situation but I have gathered some info for you which should be helpful.
You can find out all you need to know about doing an Ausbildung from these websites but most of the info is only available in German so, as the.frollein suggested, if your German language proficiency is limited you might find getting started quite challenging.
[color="#000000"]BERUFENET Be[/color][color="#000000"]rufsinformationen - (ALL types of) Job descriptions & definitions, training models, career planning, progression & prospects[/color]
If you do a basic search on that site for 'Koch' this is what you'll see
(click on the… (another 454 words)
I can only second what nateo said. I don't know about marketing jobs, but if it's the sort of marketing that plays with language, pff, high bar indeed.
I don't want to rain on your parade (and I don't say this to belittle anyone's achievements nor to blow my own horn), but I have C2-level German (not taken the test, mind) and I wouldn't go for jobs that required stuff like contract negotiations or other activities that require an ability to play with the language. Heck, it took me 15 years of education and 10 years of work experience in-country to get to that level in English).
Without knowing the exact keying schematic, you can't really tell if this is possible. But it sounds like your apartment building uses a so called "central cylinder system", where each of the apartment keys works also on one or several doors used by everyone, like entrances or cellar doors. In addition to those individual apartment keys there should also exist a key that opens only those central doors. In most cases this key is labelled "Z".
You should ask your landlord or janitor about giving you one of those keys. If he doesn't have one on hand, he should be able to order one for you.
Which other 'highly religious' countries are you talking about? Saudi Arabia? Afghanistan? Bangladesh? Religion is a busted flush, and on the whole the global population is becoming less religious, the only reason the Catholic Church is still flourishing is because there are a few hundred million poor illiterates from third world countries who LITERALLY have no hope in this life and therefore have to hope for another go in the second one - this way of thinking is how those Islamist cunts in Iraq and Syria get new recruits to their perverted cause.
Well, im back in ireland living at my mums. Been to the dr this morning and the pills im on dont exist here. Hes put me on some pills that i take in the morning and evening to keep me calm and able to cope. My mum is in charge of them for me since im a suicide risk atm. Hes also given me a sick note for two months so i can get some money and help. Eventually, my mum plans to help me find a little place to rent in the town and have a new home for myself. Everyone is very supportive to me, and a very special thanks to spiderpig. Im really hoping that at some point my now ex, actually sends me my things. I feel like ive been home a week already. My mum says that the first month is the worst and eventually when im home abit and settled, ill beable to see things in a clearer light and realise that… (another 69 words)
I don't know if this is the right thread to post into, anyway, I feel sad. And I'm just speechless.
While being slight bored at work today (since I'm leaving this job in some 1.5 months, I no longer pretend that I'm doing anything serious ), I entered - just outta curiosity - a name of an ex-colleague of mine into Google. I was shocked to find out that he went missing in August 2012 during his hiking vacation in Provence. He left a group of friends, allegedly because he wanted to take some photos and nobody saw him ever since. More than 1 year later a local French newspaper reported that still no trace of him has been found - no clothes, no camera, no corpse, nothing.
Uwe was one of the best colleagues I've ever had - competent, professional, but not cold, friendly,… (another 123 words)
I feel terribly sad about a freak accident that happened near where we live. At a very tight junction, a lorry turned right and unbeknown to the driver, he clipped the kerb and took with him an elderly lady. The poor lady was dragged nearly a kilometer before she fell dead onto the road. The lorry driver continued driving unaware. I feel equally sorry for the driver as when he was stopped by the police, he collapsed in shock. I can only hope the lady died very very quickly. So sad
I've no idea which tread to post this in, so Mods feel free to move it.
I haven't posted since Aug 2013. Why? Nothing to do with TT, but I felt if I'm here for the duration, I had to seriously start to learn/speak German. So, I went native.
It's been hard, annoying, and extremely frustrating at times, but eventually the penny drops. The support I got from my German friends was unbelievable.
I'm also deeply indebted to a couple of German students from HD Uni who took me under their wing(s). When I recently passed my C1, I took them both out to dinner. Being "poor, hungry students" they drank like fishes and probably ate the entire menu. It cost me a fortune but there is no monetary cost attached to language freedom.
Which is what they gave to me. To be able… (another 39 words)
Fuck the HV and the HM...
You did the right thing.. you followed your heart..
You made the Homeless guy happy... and I dare say you made yourself feel good too!
Hats off to you!
So I handed in my resignation to HR today, got asked if I have a new job already (I do) and if it is a full-time one again (it is, ain't no part-time jobs for folks like me). Then, I had to listen to the following sermon (loosely translated, my thoughts italicized):
"Why oh why are you doing this? You have a small child ..." (yeah, I happen to have, but so do my male colleagues and I bet they don't get asked those questions )
"... so why on Earth are you working full-time?" (because I didn't study at the university in order to stay at home and change nappies)
"You're completely missing out on your child's life!" (rest assured that I'm not)
"You can't even go to Eltern-Kind-Turnen with him." (even if I could, I wouldn't,… (another 84 words)
I guess you really want to pay the double rent you keep claiming you can't afford (For the legalists, we each have our own contract).
You have known when you want to leave the flat for months now, that is part of the reason there has been no internet since November, but you put up the ad with only 3 weeks to go, not even bothering to find out that I am not around for most of it.
You didn't bother to put pictures into the ad, wrote for it the most unfriendly text I have read in a long time, and it doesn't fit the criteria of what type of flat life I am looking for.
You also didn't bother to bump that ad up so hasn't it really been visible since its third day of existence.
You don't bother to clean up your room, even when you know someone is coming to… (another 119 words)
You know stormwatch, if you could actually spell, string cohesive thoughts together into readable sentences, and stop professing "christian values" while cursing like a sailor,you might have a better chance of people actually paying attention to what you are saying.
[size="5"]Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?[/size] [size="5"]Johnny: Seven [/size] [size="5"]Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?[/size] [size="5"]Johnny: Seven[/size] [size="5"]Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?[/size] [size="5"]Johnny: Six.[/size] [size="5"]Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?[/size] [size="5"]Johnny: Seven[/size] [size="5"]Teacher: Where do you get seven from?[/size] [size="5"]… (another 9 words)
My 2¢: whatever you do, do not sign up for any service in a shop, under any circumstances. Even if you're convinced that what they're offering is a good deal, tell them "I'll think about it" and then go home and sign up online for the same thing.
Reason 1: If you order online, you have a legally-mandated 14-day cooling off period (Widerrufsrecht) to cancel the contract without even needing to provide a reason, and even if the contract has a minimum duration of I don't know how many years. You are not entitled to this cooling-off period if you sign up in a shop.
Reason 2: In shops / on the phone, they often omit the fine print. Ordering online allows you to see what that asterisk is all about. Even if you don't speak German, you can copy-paste those ominous-looking… (another 16 words)
A man in a bar stands up and proclaims: "All Lawyers are ASSHOLES!"
A man at the front of the bar stands up and says: "Hey! I resent that!"
So the first man asks: "Why, are you a lawyer?"
"NO! I'm an asshole!"
I completely agree with you and am really looking forward to your documentary. Using socioeconomic status as a proxy for parental level of education*, only explains approximately half of the difference in performance between German and foreign children.
Can you (lapsus alumni or sosarx) please explain to me why 61% of children of two German parents from an upper level socioeconomic background attend Gymnasium and only 50% of children from an upper level socioeconomic background who have at least one immigrant parent attend Gymnasium, whereas only 6% of children of two German parents from an upper level socioeconomic background attend Hauptschule, but 16% of children from an upper level socioeconomic background who have at least one immigrant parent attend Hauptschule? Source: Mehr Chancen… (another 224 words)
I can see it in the private forum. If you can't see it in your removed posts list, it's a bug.
Nothing I can do about it though, I'm afraid.
You'll have to ask Bob. Good luck with that.
Many years ago, when we used to update our timecards in ink at the end of each day, I was ten minutes late because of traffic. Normally, I was at my desk at least 15 minutes before the starting time. However, that morning my boss must have been in a foul mood and made a big deal of my only late day and wrote "7" for the number of hours for that day and added "1" to the leave column with the code for leave without pay. As he gave my timecard back to me, he said "I hope you learn from this" and then went back to his office. What a tool. I promptly went to my car and spent the rest of the hour listening to the radio. When I returned to my desk, he was even more pissed and demanded to know where I was. I told him I wasn't allowed to work when I while on LWOP and… (another 44 words)
Kinda reminds me of the time a new office manager wanted to set her stamp on the place where I worked. On her first day she came swanning in, called everyone together so she could lay down her rules, and at the end announced: “Right. So I want bums on seats and everyone working at 9am prompt. Every day.”
So that’s what she got. From that day on, everyone dutifully sat down and started working at 9a.m. What she didn’t know – up until then we’d all (voluntarily) been starting work quite by 8.30.
How not to motivate your workforce.
Most German judges that I have dealt with in over 30 years in the legal business in Germany wouldn't give your friend an hour in court with this kind of complaint. If the typo were for a date in the future - fine. But a date in the past, before the beginning of the contract?
Tell your friend that this is hopefully the worst thing that will happen to her all year.
Neither party cares, so it would seem, so why not just drop it? I, for one, fell asleep half way through your story, and it seems your friend fell asleep and stopped caring long before that. Why do you still care?
The only thing that she could do is request reinstatement of the employment contract. Since she doesn't want that she can blow the company a raspberry and rejoice that it is in her past.
To answer to your questions. The studies conducted on children with "Migrationshintergrund" have all defined their own criteria on who has a "Migrationshintergrund" or not. Most do not distinguish between one or two parents. Some have asked children and parents themselves, so this is based on a "self-perceived" background of immigration. Others have specifically targeted groups. For example, Jens Schneider's study focused on comparing 2nd and 3rd generation Turkish and Moroccan immigrants of a similar socio-economic status so that the integration context in 7 European countries could be compared. This study, which you can download online, "Does the Integration Context Matter?" makes it clear that the German integration context is not favorable.… (another 534 words)
Walking home from work last night, with my usual heavy bag, my back decided enough was enough. I stopped for a break and when I tried to carry on I realised I couldn't. My lovely girlfriend had to come and help me back.
I can barely move, when I do it is often excruciatingly painful, and I'll probably have to cancel a weeks worth of appointments at one of my busiest times since I moved here.
To lighten the mood, possibly: The man whose house I stopped outside for that "break" thought I was a homeless drunk and was offering to throw down a bag of clothes. He clearly didn't believe me when I told him that wasn't the case. Nice of him to offer though.
Dear Pope Francis: Although you're a breath of fresh air through the Papacy, you're still caught in the Blame The Woman Game. Telling a woman from a Third World country that she should be more responsible about pregnancy is like telling the furniture in a burning building not to let itself catch on fire!
Too late to edit my vent, so here's the rest of the story.
My dear sweet innocent Aunt Millie had three little girls in the space of two-and-a-half years. She'd heard of tubal ligation from my mother, so she went to the priest for advice. She was told, "No surgery. I can help you. Just go to bed with your husband as usual and hug and kiss and fondle him. But when the time comes, he should roll over on his side and let nature take its course." But my uncle didn't… (another 34 words)
Lets be honest, most companies are not going to be the slightest bit intersted in you as a statistician unless you can somehow sell what you have been doing as related.
Much of the translation and journalism type work is freelance regadless of qualifications and frankly I doubt you stand any chance of getting a permanent position. Furthremore, if you dont speak german I think you will have problems simply because there is unlikely to be enough work in chinese to english translation.
Your plan, judging from your other posts seems to be to move to a rundown villiage in the old DDR, renovate a cheap house and then find work.
I dont mean to be unkind but this is not going to work unless you can somehow build an international client base and work from home.
The reason I asked you whether you need to work in your other thread is because the areas to which you're looking to move don't have any jobs. Even finding a job at McDs will be difficult in the areas with the really cheap houses.
There is a reason that certain areas in the neue Bundesländer have really cheap houses - everyone in the area has moved away (usually for better opportunities elsewhere).
You should also keep in mind that as a freelancer you have to make your own health insurance payments.
BTW, there is actually a job advertised for a Statistician at the Ministry in Brandenburg now (however, you'd definitely need German).
Incidentally, one major reason why properties in some places go for a song is that there is little to no work anywhere nearby (notwithstanding their potential state of repair/disrepair). The telecommunications infrastructure is often sub-par in such locations as well (to say nothing of the entertainment/restaurant/shopping infrastructure), which rules out telecommuting or even working as a state-of-the-art service provider.
To give you an example: my mother-in-law lives in Mecklenburg, close to the border with Lower Saxony. Although she lives in an actual city of 2,500 people (formerly 4,000), everyone there drives west or further east to do their grocery shopping. And just about everyone drives west to go to work.
Yes, it's Randnummer.
Yes, you have to pay.
No, administrative regulations are not solely a German thing.
I mis-paid a tax amount of €130 earlier this year (xxx38 instead of xxx27 in the tax number) and am negotiating a waiver of the €1.50 fine. Said negotiation will cost the firm €150 of my time under the International Act of Happens.
After I had a contract end a couple of years ago, I took 5 months "off" to go full-time to language school. It is not possible to receive ALG1 and be going to language school at the same time, because you must be actively job seeking when you are receiving ALG1.
I discussed possibilities with the Arbeitsamt ahead of time, and I was able to get the ALG1 deferred. They understood that I would have a better chance of getting a job after improving my language skills, so it was not a difficult "sell". I went onto my husband's health insurance (public) during that time, but had no income.
When I was done with my course, I went back to the Arbeitsamt and officially registered as Job seeking. At that time everything "started up" again. They took over my health insurance… (another 109 words)
I was in the checkout by Fogarty the other day, ready to pay for my groceries, when the lady cashing instructed me loudly, “Strip down, facing me.."
Well I thought, that’s taking security a bit far, even in crime ridden Guyana, but not wanting to make trouble I did just as she had said..
After the shrieking and hysterical remarks finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should position my credit card.
Nonetheless, I've been asked to shop PennyWise in the future.
They need to make their instructions a little clearer for card holders oui.
(slightly amended post by my friend Katherine W. of T&T)
(Here I go in john g mode): That pic fraufruit posted reminds me of the time that in the Netherlands they had an AIDS prevention campaign with slightly sarky slogans like "These are Frank and Marianne. They don't need to have safe sex, because they've already known each other for a fortnight".
Happened to have a flatmate called Frank who'd invited a Marianne for dinner... he wasn't too pleased we had managed to nick one of them posters and stuck it to the door of his room...
me and the boyfriend are splitting me up. He just told me that he doesnt love me and feels like im just his room mate. He is booking me a flight home this evening, so im guessing ill be back in ireland this week with just my clothes. I left my entire life behind 5 years ago to be with him. I spent 5 years here miserable and trying my best to adapt, get a job, and be a good girlfriend. And now, im just getting tossed out like a bag of rubbish with just my suitcase and he stays here in our flat, with his job and our car and our kittens and im counting myself lucky that my mother still kept the old bunk bed in my sisters room so at least ill have somewhere to sleep when i get "posted back home"
I feel like crawling into myself and dying. I cant breakthe
The boyfriend rarely pays any attention to me romantically. I was at the gymn, Just finished the cross trainer and was all hot, sweaty and eww. A cute man came over and asked me out on a date. He must have been 20 at most, I was hugely flattered, thanked him and told him no that I was in a relationship. But it completely made my day Its nice to know, that even all ewww and sweaty, im still able to get abit of male attention (my cat doesnt count even tho Im convinced he is some kinda of pervert)
Confession of a little bit of Schadenfreude:
Started packing after having been evicted to make way for landlady's grandson, and I really object to being given rather (ohh, actually I believe this is even illegal!) short notice to leave when she must have known for ages. And I also object to having been the dupes to tenant the house which turned out to have a LOT of holes in the roof - you get it - we move in we're told there's a "slight leak around the chimney" which is going to be fixed (it wasn't) and over time we report other problems ("Sorry to give you bad news, but that heavy rain last night? It came in over my bed") as they materialise, then she has the whole lot done in one go after a bit of suffering for us... so now it's fixed, right, it's… (another 153 words)
One week since my trip to the hospital for my nasal cautery treatment.
At the time it was extremely unpleasant, the side effects were very painful.
However now, my nose is almost clear of scabs and I can breathe again.
And touch wood, no bleeds.
Here's a recent article I found from when the Deutsche Bahn train drivers went on strike last fall. It says that the "Wegerisiko" lies with the employee - which means it's your responsibility to get to work on time.
That same link says he can dock your pay for the amount you are late (or, alternatively, make you work longer), and even write you up.
I don't think he can send you home and then dock you a whole day's pay as a result, however. If you're willing and able to work and he sends you home, that's his problem, not yours.
Please note that I'm not a lawyer, however, so the latter part is only a guesstimate on my part.
The important issue is that you were there, offering your capacity to work on a day that you were scheduled to work. As long as this is the case your employer cannot refuse to let you perform your duties* and dock your pay accordingly. He can decrease your pay for the time that you were not able to work, or demand that you do overtime for the same amount of time.
Of course, if he sends you home with pay he's an idiot. If he curtails your pay he's a double-idiot.
*This constitutes the wonderful German word of Annahmeverzug, default of acceptance, which is a breach of your employment contract.
Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. Please have all legal advice you receive here verified by a legal professional.
I greatly recommend to STAY AT WORK, and send an email at the end of your workday to both bosses stating you stayed and worked!
If he wants to dock your work pay for 15 minutes, so be it - just do 15 minutes overtime today :-)
But I don't see any basis to send you home and cut your pay, especially as you did not commit severe misconduct (turn up drunk, attack people etc.).
Also, when I consider the German mindset, this might be an empty threat uttered in anger.
Keep an eye on your paycheck, and yes, talk to the Betriebsrat.
(BTW, what a tool.)
Ok, thanks so much for the helpful tips and ideas. We have no HR or Betreibsrat in the company basically the NL Chef is the Alpha and Omega in that respect. Going directly to the Owner will likely get me fired within the hour. I understand that it is the employees responsibility to be to work on time so in that respect I will eat humble pie. Although I will not accept a whole days wages being docked. This from a company that loves to describe themselves as a "Christian firm", it makes me sick...
New word of the day: Annahmeverzug
Thanks again everyone! I feel a lot better about this now.
You all have pretty much the right idea, these are the cousins of the deceased wife, she had no will. My relative inherited her things and pension, they had no children together. I am the sole heir to his money and possessions. I found the source, who had since cut off contact with these people as she will not tolerate their treatment of me. She has known where he's at the whole time and not told them, so I'm safe there. I have the general and vorsorge vollmacht, and the testament declaring me as the responsible party. These people pulled the same thing after the wife died, cutting off contact with him when they didn't get anything, not that they ever had more than a "bekannte" relationship anyway. I have been… (another 58 words)
- What kind of school are you attending now? (language school?)
- What kind of previous education do you have?
- The Arbeitsamt will only pay education cost if you're unemployed (for a while) and within the proper age group and without usable other education.
- Private vocational schools are for the most part for people who can't get into a public school. For vocational training 420 Euro monthly is an outrageous level.
- Design schools generally tend to require applying with previous work examples (just noting it here, didn't check the two schools).
- BaFöG is a state benefit for students and pupils that's means-tested against family income and requires the recipient to produce "results" (i.e. no failing exams and things like that). It's partially… (another 9 words)
I like your humor --- but you will hopefully understand that I do not agree with all the rest you have written:
First of all, it DOES make a huge difference if your financial advisor is properly licensed or not. Not only does it require to show proof of some - admittingly rather basic - knowledge of finances and financial advice. It also means that a licensed advisor has to have (under German law) a decent indeminity/liability insurance. That protects the clients on one side because that insurance will pay if the advice was faulty/malpractice. And it will protect all customers/consumers on the long run, because if an advisor needs his insurance too often, they will cancel the contract and then he'll be out of business.
Where you are correct is that financial advisors need to earn money.… (another 511 words)