Pleeeze help me

Where is the best place to get pregnant in Germany?.

Have you tried the search engine? If I had a thousand dollars for everone I had to tell that to I would be a multi-billionaire. And if you are not happy here then there are other internets you know.

Are there any other trisexuals in Munich? I'm attracted to men, women and shoes. Could we have a special event please? Thanks.

I'll "tri" anything once, plz PM me. Thx.

PS - only if you're hot.

Look, once and for all, where do you get bloody MARMITE in this god-forsaken country! Lidl British Food Fest I don't think so!!! Not even prawn bloody cocktail crisps! And what's with this döner kebap everywhere? It's kebab, no 'p'. Can't anybody write proper English here? And why don't Nordsee have malt vinegar to put on the fish and chips! Heathens!

Sorry, TexasLauren, you're only eligible for this event if you live within a three-metre radius of my flat. If that's you in your profile photo, we could meet privately, but I can't leave Schwabing.

Editors, can we have a sign-up sheet?

I am in Germany.

Thak you.

I heard the Euro Football championship is on now. Are there any places to watch the games on Leopoldstrasse? Are there any bars on Leopoldstrasse? Do they have television here in Germany yet? Please let me know.

Right, I have now been in touch with the editors to complain about them ignoring my request for a sign-up sheet. Apart from some implausible excuse about not reading every single post, I have also been advised that my event for trisexuals within a three-metre radius of my flat is too "limited in scope". This seems to me a clear case of discrimination, especially since I also once had a post deleted without prior notification and have still received no explanation for that.

However, to give this forum one last chance, I have decided to follow the suggestion to "widen the appeal" of my event. So I now propose we all meet for a curry. This is open to everyone and I don't mind when or where we do it, so please all post your preferred dates, times and venues here.

And if this doesn't work, I'll know what to think.

The last three weeks I've been suffering a painful rash in a private area. It's bleeding and I'm very worried. What should I do? I tried PMing Editor Bob and he told me to go see a gynecologist. I don't think he knows what he's talking about though. I am male. Disappointing, because I thought Editor Bob had all the answers. Anyway, so now I don't know where to turn. Any suggestions?

This actually happened

i recently graduated in journalism from cambrige univeristy. i heard that Toytown pays wirters for articles on the sight. i went to editor bobs house unannounced at 8am one morning to introduce myself. i thought visiting in person would show more initititive than emaling. but he just stood there bleary eyed in his pijamas and told me to fugg off. he didnt even offer me tea. not very proffesional i thought. what should i do? any body knows any free lance writing jobs in germany?

This also actually happened

Howe's that?

Not out.

Well it's your fault editor bob for posting your address so everyone can visit you. And you do know everything so don't put people off with such sensible question's.

...can't believe it...

I'm so glad I discovered this forum. I'm new to Germany I've read on here about how to deal with the daunting bureaucracy and I must agree those bureaucrats are a pain in the butt.

But here's my question, how do I get a schedule of when they pick up the garbage in my town? I really need this schedule because I have some garbage to throw out. Can some one give me a number to call?

Fuck sorting, I'm just chucking this crap out!!!

Oh, I also have a few relationship questions to ask. Basically these questions are garbage too.

Clever TT folks, you do help with relationships problems, don't you?? I know there must be some arm chair marriage counselors that can give me some feedback, there's everything else on this forum.

Can you please tell me what's the best member I can PM to ask my relationship questions?

Oh, I almost forgot...thanks in advance for this info.

"Thanks" - what means, please? Not find often this word on this sight.

I'm having an issue with my neighbours. They throw acid out of their top storey window as I pass their house. Last week their oldest son attacked me with a machete as I left for work one morning. I can never open my windows because they throw molotov cocktails through them. Another time, they ordered a demolition team to come around and demolish my house. Luckily I managed to stop them before they were able to set off the charges. My letterbox has been booby trapped and has so far exploded twice as I opened it. The first time I lost 2 fingers, the second time I lost my left testicle. I'm starting to think that they may not like me, but I'm reluctant to confront them because my German isn't very good. I don't want to move out, because apart from these incidents, it is a really nice house and close to the S-Bahn. What should I do?

You didn't sell them a pub by any chance?

Does ne1 know where I can get a curry in Munich like ?

Cologne or Düsseldorf, which is better for life? Please help me, I move in two days.

I've been offered a voucher for 100 euros. How much is that in REAL money?

Brazilian or Mexican?

Has anyone tried the cheddar?

Help!!! It doesn't work (already tried 3 times). Is there anything I could do? Call back ASAP!!!

Where can I buy a can of Mac and Cheese on a Sunday in rural Bavaria?

Is it possible to start a thread asking a Q and answer my own thread?

*Important Update*

We have just done the hand over with the landlords agent . Apparently the kitchen belongs to us and we must remove it before 12:00pm today (we fly out at 03:00PM!!!)

We wondered what the extra 4000 Euros was for that we handed over to the previous tennent - so we suggest that you pay us the same.

Photo here: http://www.s-bahn-muenchen.de/

Buyer to collect - 5th floor - no lift.

Please help; I am such an anal retard. I went and bought loads of cheap US foodstuffs even though I hate everything American but am curious anyway, then cooked it badly and now want to gibber mindlessly on and on about its appalling quality.

I bought a Swanson’s Hungry Man ready meal, type “Buffalo Style Chicken Strips�. The “meat�, if you can even call it that, makes the Bavarian Gammelfleisch look like fresh steak tartar and tastes exactly like cat-breath smells. To call the oily gobbets of processed starch “French fries� is an affront to every Gaul on the planet. In the bottom left corner was an entirely unidentifiable blob resembling the offering found in my daughter’s nappy and the genetically modified corn defied any relationship to a foodstuff at all. When I get back from hospital after my heart transplant and the unknotting of my smaller intestine that, in a last ditch attempt to save my body, choked-off my stomach entrance, I’m going to live on pulses for the rest of my life.

PS
I love my American Aunt's home cooking.

Posted in the Cooking forum:

Kitchen now reduced to 3995

I think you have posted the wrong link for the kitchen. She is for the trains in Munich. Please, where can I find the one for trains in Berlin?

British food is all rubbish and you really must be stupid to think otherwise.

A friend of mine had a nasty accident whilst cleaning his flat naked and now has his penis stuck in the vacuum cleaner nozzle. As he is unable to get his trousers on at present, he cannot leave the house and wonders if Saturn have a home repair service? Also he wonders if this is likely to invalidate the warranty on the cleaner and damage the dust bag? Also he would like to know what is the German for Casualty Department? He lives on the U6 line and wonders if a vacuum cleaner could be classed as a biciycle or whether he would need to buy a separate ticket. Is Klinikum Grosshardon still innenraum?

Also what is the maximum number of paracetamol that I could take safely at any one time?

Thanks.

Yes

Is that aimed at me? Your all loosers and I'm leaving this so-called site.

Please, where is the way out?

Does anyone know if this information is up to date?

Also, I read somewhere else that you need to Anmeldung to dispose of rubbish. I have been living here for 6 years and i have never heard this word before. Is it really a german word and can I do this in next 15 minutes?

Thanks in advance for the help

are you making fun of my job? I leaving this place caus your all Garbageeinzelheitenzupürüfer bashers

Is fly tipping illegal in germany?

Thanx in advance for the help

Why has this thread been moved to Metachat? Is this something to do with being in the TT clique? These are the selfish bastards that I have heard make social arrangements and then don't invite everyone randomly on the forum? Miserable fuckers.

How fast is the "fast reply"button in comparisson to the "addreply" button? Do I save a lot of time? I cant decide can someone PM me please.

Thanx in advance

Flies here get swatted - not tipped.

am looking for a website for Germany´s English-speaking crowd...can anyone help me?

How many quadrat metres is a mushroom?

Can someone give me some advice on where to live. I can't decide between Prenzlauerberg or Prenzlauerberg. Obviously I want to live in the East and I thought about Friedrichshein but there are poor people there and sometimes they can be a bit grumpy and mean.

Will the language barrier be a problem? I am only here for two years so I really want to concentrate on discovering Germany and its people so I won't really have time for any German classes.

I'm hungry. What shall I have for dinner?

I need help finding a parking space which is 3qm and free from any wheelie bins.

I have a dog that loves mountain sheep. What should I do? See a vet? PM Mere?

Just read the title - here on TT!!!

OP, you are looking in the wrong place

Better teach it to stop mounting sheep, the farmers don't like that, then agin if it's a sheep dog it's probly ok.