Pleeeze help me

Hello peeps I booked to go on a Toytown thingy called the Oktoberfest, but I have been reading this Toytown & they are mean to new people and always tell them to use this search thing, so my question is will they have a search thing at the oktoberfest? What if I need to find the toilets & I ask this keydeck person, he will tell me to use the search thing, will they have one in every tent??

And I paid money to a bird lady but I have never met her, do you think she will run away with my beer & chicken

Can the forum people help me? All of my conspiracy theories are complete bollox, so I need some new ones that are equally improbable, but people haven't heard before.

PS. American Jews colluding with Nazis always goes down well.
PPS. Or something else.
PPPS. Evidence not required, but undesirable.

Disposable razor for sale, €2 o.b.o. Excellent condition, rarely used and then on armpits and shins only. Pick up in Miesbach. First come, first shaved! LOL!

I am renting my 20 m2 apartment for the Oktoberfest. It is very well located and easy ride to the Oktoberfest (30 minutes with the ubahn + 20 minutes walking). 400 Euro per night per person plus 1000 Euro deposit. People who are going to get drunk please do not apply.

So I got a portion of spaghetti left over from dinner tonight. I would love to take it to work tomorrow. Except? Turns out my brother has no box (or plastic bags) to store it in. Help, TT! What do I do?

Help! When I was walking around on the sidewalk last night I got real cold. What can I do? Especially my ears got cold, but also my arms and the fingers got cold too. Do you think this is normal for it to get so cold this time of year? Will it get warmer later on? Where can I get something to put on against this thing? Willing to pick up.

we are desperately looking for a native translator, preferably with journalism background, ir doesnt really matter what their native tongue is as long as they are a native translator... the problem is we dont know where to find a native translator on a website thats aimed for native english speakers... could anyone help, Pleeeeeaaaaaazzzzzzeeeee???

Would someone please be a dear and bring me a fresh cup of coffee? My JR has fallen asleep on my lap and I don't want to disturb her. PM for directions to my house. Thx!

Help! I've just moved to Germany and I didn't realise that all the Germans would have such inferior manners, food, customs, laws, jokes, sexgods, opening hours, traffic problems, music, supermarkets, dialects, underwear, sales assistants, sports clubs, weddings, taxes, smoking legislation, customer service, criminal gangs, surrogate mothers, in-laws, conversation and hairstyles. If they can't be more like the British/Americans, why don't they all just f*ck off back to their own country?

I've just arrived in Munich and have worked really hard to get the bathroom and spare room sorted out.

Anyway, i'm really sweaty and hot and i'm thinking that maybe a beer would help me out to cool down.

I've heard that Bavaria has some good beer, can anyone tell me where I should go to get one?

By the way, i'm a total fuckwit ( see how i was brave and using the real word? ) and can barely speak my own language let alone another so can you explain the directions slowly and in monotone, thanks.

Just wondering if one can get from Munich to somewhere via public transport and how they go about it... I have a feeling that there is a train...

Apparently it's possible to get from Munich to Zurich and possibly even from Munich to Innsbruck, but the whole thing seems too complicated so I'd rather go somewhere else. Oh, and I'll need accommodation once I get there so how do I go about it?

I am married to a german and live in the us. I want to work in germany, but if I move there will I have to serve in the military or do I have to pay taxes for work I have done in the us then move to germany? Will I have to pay the taxes now or when I get there and who am I to pay? germany or us? Do I need a visa or am I a dual citizen because I am married to a german? Incidentally, we have never really lived together (we married while on holiday) and since then she has served me divorce papers. I am self employed. I can find a job there? Can I live with you while I sort my life out and then move to another place if I find it is not to much or I don't run out of food?

I moved to Germany 2 years ago and now I'm flat broke. So broke I can't even pay attention. I'm currently seeking a comfortable couch to flop on? Pleeze, pleeze help!