Pleeeze help me

Crap, aren't they? You can't even get a good stabbing for queue-jumping.

Do they sell curry in germany? Maybe somebody would like to come for a curry one night? I was thinking Wednesday perhaps.

p.s. I am really skinny. In fact I am so skinny that my brain has shrunk. I am trying to work out how I can be fat like all you lot out there? There must some kinda secret method? Is it a special pill?

Get a lawyer!

Eat lead weights.

My girfriend is getting on my tits. She's is soooo nosy, that watching porn while she's in the bath has become soooo difficult.. Thinking about getting a blow up doll, but are they really all that great? Couple of mates moan about the ones that go down on you, but I can't afford the delux version. Is google all it's cracked up to be. Is my ISDN the latest TCP/IP and will porn be better on a mac or iPhone. Is there a beer garden in Munich where I can get a proper drink like Watneys Red Barrel. Is beer from a straight glass better than beer from a jug.

Eat Tom Waits.

Tom Waits for no man.

Read the truth at:

www.curryconspiracy.com
www.scientistsforcurry.com

Free your minds and SEE THE TRUTH PEOPLE!!

Do I need to pay GEZ?

If I eat too many curry's will Tom Waits pay my GEZ?

Curry makes you evil, all Germans are eviler than English.

TRUTH

I'm looking to watch TV from another country for free. I want to know how to pretend I am in that country on my computer. Perhaps some sort of 'pretending-my-computer-is-in-another-country' software exists? If it doesn't, can I invent it? I would call it an ePoxy.

I can't believe thats the only way of doing it, but I am too lazy to find out about any other technology that has been talked about hundreds of times already. When I click on Internet Explorer on my desktop does that mean the Internet is on my computer?

Why does every computer I approach stop working, look its happening aga

i have three original paint-by-number pictures for sale... all very special and beautiful works. pictures are of flower field on summer day, horses frollicking in sun and forlorn children's bike in dismal corner. alot of love and soul in these pictures, so i ask 50€ for each piece. please find pictures on my personal foto album.

sorry. foto album has been deleted from tt for 10th time... why does this keep happening?! i will add again. pleaze contact me.

Huh you racist sexist pig, why is everyone is this cuntry like that, actually i'm a WASA.

I keep seeing people with flags on their cars, why does everyone have a flag on their car? And what is the black, red & gold one?

I bought some tat from a TTer, now I have it for sale at an increased price.
pm me for info.

Why did no-one mention on this bulletin board that you have to be poor to live in Berlin? I mean, we are by no means rich, but everyone I have met where I live shuns me because I do not spend all my time complaining about how much things cost. These people all have two decent cars - how can they be so poor? I tried to make some friends by going to a german class but no-one there understands me either. Everytime I try to answer the questions, everyone thinks that I am still getting my numbers mixed up. The think my flat is 39 not 93 meters squared - apparently 93 can't be true as it is over the Hartz IV maximum - I can't be 32 years old because I don't have at least three children like everyone else - I must be 23 etc. And I have nothing to talk about during the break as I am not doing house cleaning or working on a building site for cash in hand. I thought that I might go to an expat meet-up but there again the matter of price raises its ugly head. Always PLB or KB because its cheap. I don't live anywhere near there. Should I? I don't even know where my local Job Center is. Do you think it is possible to meet people like me or should my hubby give up his job and become a bus driver or something? I thought about picking up a 400 euro job in Lidl or Bauhaus to have something in common with everyone else but they said that I am overqualified.

Does Germany play football isn't it?

I’ve got 12 ounces of amalgam which I removed from my teeth yesterday with a hammer and a small screw driver does anyone know a scrap metal merchant where I can sell it …thx

so I'm into shitting on glass tables & I'm moving to Germany are chicks into that over there can I get dole money will I have to pay tax do the cinemas show stuff in English with English subtitles?
if not why not? stupid country full of nazis.

Germans speak broken English.

when is the english garden open for seeing the free titties? do i need a ticket? must i hide behind the bushes like at home, and can i take photos of the titties like that keydeck bloke i heard about?

I got this e-mail from someone I don't know, and their name doesn't match their e-mail address, but they said 'have a great day' so they must be a nice person. Should I click on the link?


And does anyone know where i can find out about the smoking situation in Munich?

NEWS FLASH !!! after the success of the Lidl Brit week Aldi will be doing a German food year!!! I can’t wait yummy

Look here

www.boringgermanfoodfromaldi.de

I've just been to Burgerking here and the Crispy Chicken wasn't like my Burgerking back home, it was cripsy and light and just didn't have enough lard in it! it tasted nice too wtf is wrong with that?
how am I supposed to maintain my level of obesity with such healthy food
I suppose zey are just followink orders or something stupid nazis.

I'm going to Silverstone on July 4th does anyone know if it will be raining?

Yes, but I'm not going to tell you, do a search!

Can anyone tell me why the post boxes are yellow not red, the police uniforms green not blue and why there are so many paratroopers on the S-Bahn?

Mr.Moonboot is going to need 'Big Toilet' at 19:00 tonight, can anyone tell me if there will be toilet roll?

I'm trying to organise an S&M curry night with a difference. Am I flogging a dead horse?

Lidl are currently doing a special offer on toilet rolls. They have had a crack team studying soft useable toilet tissue, and have managed to develop their own special Lidl brand for German bottoms. It is guaranteed to scratch 7 layers of skin off your arse, give you piles and smells like a haddocks jockstrap. However, and this the important bit, it is only 10c a roll so stocks will be sold out by 9.30am Monday morning.

Yesterday, I spent the afternoon with two friends who kept looking at me and saying 'you really need to lose some weight ', which I (sadly) agree with. I'm not happy with the way I look and I'd love to be a few kilos lighter but it doesn't seem to matter how much I diet, I'm destined to be the eternal metabolic cow.

Beer isn't really an option as I like the taste and there are only so many times I can go to Aldi
(Or equivalent) before my face erupts.

I'm 3'10'' tall (which is about 30cm) and I weigh about 190kg.

Anyone been through something similar and care to share your tips/experience?

OP you don’t sound too bright so I think you should forget about whether to live in Berlin or Munich.
Have you ever thought about going to work in the UK as an estate agent? One doesn’t need any qualifications, brains or experience to do this kind of work. Once you have cheated and lied enough people out of their hard earned cash sold enough property then you could always buy or have built your own place in some cheap part of Germany and of course, all the arrogance you have acquired with your stint in the UK estate agents job will hold you in good stead for blending right in with the local population.

Alternatively if materialism doesn’t interest you and you feel to pursue a more artistic path then you might want to consider a rewarding career as a swirling dervish in Azerbaijan.



Good luck and have a nice life.

Can someone help me with a translation for 'täglich frisch'. It says that at the fish counter at the local supermarket. i've checked a number of dictionaries but the translation I have found doesn't make any sense in this context.

Also why to adverts on TV keep on refering to salad as 'knackig' and 'knusprig' as a selling point? Unless I have misunderstood again, what other sort of salad would there be?

Why are England not in Euro 2008 but Austria and Switzerland are?

'cos of the english channel inbetween you half-wit. is it so fucking hard?

You need to talk to these guys : www. youreafatbastardandwedontmindtellingyou.com

I asked my boss why my colleagues all keep whispering affe but he just shrugged his shoulders and gave me a banana. Could somebody please explain what I'm doing wrong.

I keep spontaneously ejaculating into my pants, is this normal?

come down from the filing cabinet ? maybe ?

only if you're wearing them a the time. otherwise it'd be weird.

I have them on my head like most people in this office.

Why is the picture of the two nice ladies moving down the home page? They’re almost out of view.

Quite normal … when you do it in other peoples pants then find a doctor

No but quite possible eating one

What a bunch of loosers. Get a life all of you.

can anyone tell me how to do a search? does it need to be in german?

I found an apartment I like but the kitchen is empty!!! Why Germans do not rent apartments with kitchens?

My electronic keyboard doesn't have an "h" key, only abcdefg. Does that mean that I can't play it in Germany? Should I leave it home and buy a German keyboard when I get here?

My mother sent me some presents (cigarettes) and I received a letter from the customs telling me I am trying to bring illegal items into Germany and they want me to go there and settle it up. Nobody speaks English there. Please halp.

How do I get defiled/de-filed? Is there an office I can go to or a number to call...pleease help