Pleeeze help me

I’ve lost the little spring from my pen it no longer clicks ! any advice?

My brother in the Barony keeps mountain sheep as well.

I've got 4 table legs for sale. 5 euro's each.

If anyone is interested in buying the table legs, I also have a table top for sale.

Send him to Wales, better looking sheep.

Where can I buy a dongle???

Anyone on here know where I could buy a car from a good car dealer like the ones advertised in all the newspapers all the time.
I prefer automatic cars.

Do you need to buy it from an American family?

If I remember right, he was looking for a German-build car, but changed to American specs, but needs to be a RHD.

does anyone know if there is a tram or bus or U-/S-Bahn that goes to Marienplatz?

Where I live, the tram is also the U-Bahn! What do I do

Require a spring for an Atlantis™ Stic Ball Pen all offers considered can pick up anywhere within Germany

Prostitutes are striking tomorrow. Will the S-Bahns still be running to the airport?

I was shopping in town yesterday when I got home I realised that I had a Porsche Carrera GT snagged in my wooly scarf.
somehow it must have got tangled in there when I was browsing in the Porsche shop and leaning over stuff.
am just wondering shall I take it back or not, what would you do?

My employee nicked a load of stuff from the shops, stuffed it all down her knickers, and ran for the exit door but got caught.

Because she has also looked after my children for the last 3 weeks and comes from Australia (crime free area), I know for sure it was only an accident, and that the DVD player fell down her pants when she was watching a Kylie video.

The police now want her deported. What can I do?

Will my car be robbed if I park it in Manchester, is it safer to leave in Liverpool?

I was listening to the radio and normally they play music where the lyrics are in English, which is great for us. But I was listening this morning and a song came on by Herbert Groenemaier and it was in German.

I'm going to start a petition to get these songwriters to write their lyrics in English so that I can understand them. I like German music and want to support the German music industry, but not if the songs are actually sung in German. I'm going to write to Silbermond (who should be Silver Moon), Juli (July), Die Toten Hosen (The Dead Trousers), Wir Sind Helden (We are Heroes) and Tokio Hotel (we are shite) and I'm going to insist that they change their names to their English equivalents and only write English lyrics from now on. It is the international language after all.

Why can't they all just be like Dieter Bohlen and write English songs?

So find my petition and add your name to it to make German bands sit up and take notice.

men with bushy eyebrows just what is there problem???!!

I went on Holiday there once and found it a very beautiful place and no problems with car parking I was more worried about coming back to Berlin especially because I don’t live there

I'm with Hazza. 99 Red Ballons was a huge hit back in 1873 which just proves that us Brits have nothing against krauts with hairy armpits making a good pop song. Er war ein Punker - Rock Me Amadeus and all that.

He should change his ruddy name to Kestrel that one.

The other day I went into a shop and the shopkeeper said Gruss Gott to me, why are these Germans always trying to push their religion down my throat?

My 2 weeks girlfriend was invited to a wedding and I was not invited, I find it rude.

It's not rude if she can't swim. Next.

Fantastic mega sale!

Now you're looking, come buy all of our stuff. This is the event of the year, so good we advertise in all topics. Come buy the same stuff again! You know you can trust us - we're too pikey to advertise properly.

Help! I have had a sudden disinclination toward beer!

My girlfriend and I are to marry in July but I’ve not been invited . . . is this normal practice in Germany thanks Concerned

I'm selling something but don"t get in touch with me to buy it as Im as student twat and won't be here to answer your queries.

I pm'ed you.

How do I avoid paying any tax?

How do I pay more tax help I'm desperate

The thing I was advertising is no longer for sale as I didn't get any offers because it was not mine to sell and I was only selling it for a friend and anyway you all hate me and I'M LEAVING THIS FORUM.

I am black and I am moving to Germany. Are the neonazis going to kill me?

I'm under 50, will I ever get on the bus or will the rentners keep butting in line?

Is there an easy way to put salt on patatoes?
I am thinking of buying a kitchen and would appreciate any advice before I go into unnecessary expense.

I am selling an iPhone first generation. 999 Euros.
And a used satellite dish. 999 Euros and you have to travel to my city and get it yourself off my roof.

RAIN - Why is there so much at the moment. I'm thinking of buying a Mac, should I?

If I exchange my euros for other GBP or USD, then change them back, will it still be the same amount in euros? If not, where does the money go?

I made a very important post on this thread, and now it is gone. Where did it went? Did somebody steal it? How can I get it back? I want to make complain. Pleeze who is risponsible for complains department and what time can I go there?

I bought a flight ticket from a GERMAN budget airline and now I can not fly. Those bloody GERMANS refuse to give me back my money. Customer service sucks in GERMANY.

My neighbour (Helmut tosser) will be going on holiday next week and although he doesn’t know it yet he will be selling all his roof tiles aprox 50 m2 (Frankfurter Braun) PM for details

I dont need the tiles but I'll take the fence and the front door. Please PM me.

I'm new in town and am looking for a stroppy, irrational woman. Please PMT me.

Help I loost my bike and don't know where it is, I went to poliz and they ask me where I loose it, when i say, if i new that it wouldnt be loost they kick me out, waht can i do now, nasty poliz.

is you black leky?

My prescription is going to finish and I need to get a new one. I've been thinking in going to see a doctor and get a new one. Any recommendation?

Reversible bin liners for sale, like new (only one side has been used). Available in all primary colours except yellow, red and blue. Eight pieces in all, price €1 each or €10 for the lot.

Anyone on this forum noticed german supermarkets are not quite as good as the ones in the UK? I'm just saying like.

I sent you a PM!

If you don't like German supermarkets, why are you here? Why don't you go home? I have no fucking idea about you or any fucking aspect of your life other than the fact that you don't like German supermarkets, but I'Ve decided that it must mean you are a hate-filled bigot who detests Germans and Germany, and I don't understand why you don't go back to wherever you came from.

Leave fifty Euros in used 20 cent coins in a Plus carrier bag under the third wastebin on the left as you proceed up Leopald Strasse from the Siegstor by midnight tonight, or the post gets deleted.