Soon to be newlyweds seeking advice

Hello,
I was quite happy to find the newbies section. I was hoping people could chime in witha bit of their experiences or advice. I am a 23 year old American wedding a 26 year old German. We are currently trying to decide where we will live and raise a family. We realize that either way one of us will have to make great sacrafices, but we struggle with deciding which place will be best for us in the long run. In the US I have one year left of school on a BA. But in Germany he has a good job. Which in itself is rare in east Germany.

So is it better for me to move here and risk not finding work?

Or for him to face the harsh obstacles of American immigration and persuit of work?

Any thoughts would be appricitaed. How did you decide?

If you only have one year left of your studies then, as hard as it might seem, maybe consider waiting a year? Or perhaps look into the option of transferring your studies here? (Someone else might be able to chip in at this point and say whether this is possible). I have never lived in the US, but my girl is from the US and she says that the standard of life here is much better than Germany... and politically less embarrassing ;-) Good luck and I hope things work out for you both.

Hello - I have read several of your posts. And although I am NO expert I can tell you a couple things about my experience.

My husband is a German. We met in Germany in 1996 while I was here on business. We both worked for the same global company - he in frankfurt, I in the US. When we got engaged we went thru the same
thing: Who moves ? And initially he came to the US. He got a company transfer and his Visa was based on that employment for 4 years. When the 4 years was coming to a close, I did all his GreenCard
paperwork. You do NOT need a lawyer for any of it as long as you are thorough and provide them with all the documentation and copies of everything they ask for. So he gets his greencard and is a Permanent
resident of the US. That was 2001. In 2007 (after a couple years of discussions and planning the timing) we sold our house and moved to Germany. He still works for the same global company - in FFT and I
do not work but raise our 4 year old daughter. We have been here almost a year.

While my daughter has attended a local kindergarten for 3 days a week (half days only), she is acclimating quite nicely. So now it is my turn to get a move on with my Integration. Every Tuesday since last
October I sit with my in-laws for breakfast all in German then we do a ''lesson'' and they give me homework and all. It has helped tremendously. I am taking my placement test next Tuesday and the woman at
InBit (the school) tells me she can tell by my understanding and speaking that I will probably place a bit more into the module than someone who is just starting out. I am looking forward to it even though it is
MANDATORY that I complete it by September 2009, when my 2yr residency permit expires. Please read http://www.zuwanderung.de/english/3_prognosen.html, it is a great link to get more information. DO
NOT believe that Americans are exempt from any testing, we're not. The 'exemption' only refers to proving the language basic knowledge before you come to Germany.

As far as which is better - US or Germany - it was easier for him to come to the US because he had the job, spoke fluent english and we were together almost 100percent of the time. Coming here NOW is
difficult - he works, I at home with child, I don't know the language yet as well as I would like. We even said if we knew then what we know now -- I would have come from the US from the very beginning.
The path that is easy is not always the path that is right. I think it was the right decision back then for him to come, but in hindsight I think I know that my personality lends itself to being a better 'foreigner' in his
country than him in mine. You have to know yourself and your partner and always remember, no matter which way the 2 of you choose ... to ASK periodically throughout the year(s) - how are you? do u like it
here?? etc I did that and also promised that if it came to us moving to Germany I would not oppose trying it. So imagine my surprise in 2005 when I asked those questions and he said he wanted to come back.
Gulp!I said I would try it right? And so here we are - learning, living, loving - together. That is the key... When people ask why am I here.. I say I am here for Love... and it's true. I'll leave u with these thoughts
that have helped me through the tough decisions: The goal of marriage is not to think alike but to think together. Love is true when you don't see eye to eye but can still walk hand in hand. And lastly, Love does
not consist of gazing at each other but in looking outward in the same direction. Good luck-ML

I don't know how it got so choppy - sorry!

I have researched the German university system even found great immersion programs to prepare you to study in German. But I don't meet the visa requirements for a student visa. As a American, I am sure you won't be shocked to know I have no health care and it is not cheap and easy to get. IN addition it is mny understanding that you need substantial amounts of money in savings plus cannot recieve any forms of financail aid. I do not know if that chnages if you are married to a A German and have residency.

You guys are getting married, right? In this case, you can live in either country. My wife and I have done it - she's American, I'm German. We got married in the US (went through the whole fiancé visa application thing), then I got a green card without any problems. Moved back to Germany a few years later, and she got a Aufenthaltserlaubnis without any hassles.

It might be simpler if you were to get married in Germany - I'm not sure, but I could find out. But then you might not want to choose the place of your wedding based solely on the hassle factor...

Serenajean, I met an American who, like you, was engaged to a German and was running out of time a few years back. Her fiance was finishing his doctorate here, but they weren't sure whether they'd ultimately stay. She decided to enroll in a masters program here in Berlin for German language or literature or something like that, and then even went on to do her PhD in pedagogy or something because by the end of her studies she was fluent in German and more attractive to schools. This bought her years of time, made insurance easier, and did not cost her an arm and a leg in tuition. However: I believe she already had a Masters in Education, so this may have made it easier for her to get in in the first place.

Perhaps you can talk to your school about doing your last year abroad and then apply to your exchange school for a masters?

We are getting married in Germany. Yes it is simpilar, but also more important is the fact that he just got a new job and cannot take holidays yet, so he could not come to america. Furthermore I was born in Germany so I have only one document to translate here. We have already met the registrar, we are just waiting for me to go to the embassy next week and get the affadavit that says I am free to marry here. After taht we just wait for the German courts to apporve our documents which in our city can take up to three months. I have to leave in the mean time as I am only here on a 90 day passport. Guess that is one advantage in the US, with the fiance visa you can stay. So I plan to complete fall term in the states. Leaving only about 8 classes for me to finish after that. I will look into the study abroad. Online is also an option, but they expect you to come in for testing, thats a little hard lol.

Thanks for the ideas.

I appriciate it

You don't have to leave after 90 days.

Your boyfriend could sign a paper declaring that he will take responsibility for you. With that form (25€), emergency international health insurance (from AXA PPP or many others for less than 100€ a month), and a quick explanation as to why you want to stay, and you should be able to stay. Go down to your local Ausländerbehörde and see what your options are.

Great thanks. I will.

If you get married, you will be able to be covered under his insurance (assuming that he is on the public insurance and you are not working). If you are a student here, you can get cheap student insurance.