Hello - I have read several of your posts. And although I am NO expert I can tell you a couple things about my experience.
My husband is a German. We met in Germany in 1996 while I was here on business. We both worked for the same global company - he in frankfurt, I in the US. When we got engaged we went thru the same
thing: Who moves ? And initially he came to the US. He got a company transfer and his Visa was based on that employment for 4 years. When the 4 years was coming to a close, I did all his GreenCard
paperwork. You do NOT need a lawyer for any of it as long as you are thorough and provide them with all the documentation and copies of everything they ask for. So he gets his greencard and is a Permanent
resident of the US. That was 2001. In 2007 (after a couple years of discussions and planning the timing) we sold our house and moved to Germany. He still works for the same global company - in FFT and I
do not work but raise our 4 year old daughter. We have been here almost a year.
While my daughter has attended a local kindergarten for 3 days a week (half days only), she is acclimating quite nicely. So now it is my turn to get a move on with my Integration. Every Tuesday since last
October I sit with my in-laws for breakfast all in German then we do a ''lesson'' and they give me homework and all. It has helped tremendously. I am taking my placement test next Tuesday and the woman at
InBit (the school) tells me she can tell by my understanding and speaking that I will probably place a bit more into the module than someone who is just starting out. I am looking forward to it even though it is
MANDATORY that I complete it by September 2009, when my 2yr residency permit expires. Please read
http://www.zuwanderung.de/english/3_prognosen.html, it is a great link to get more information. DO
NOT believe that Americans are exempt from any testing, we're not. The 'exemption' only refers to proving the language basic knowledge before you come to Germany.
As far as which is better - US or Germany - it was easier for him to come to the US because he had the job, spoke fluent english and we were together almost 100percent of the time. Coming here NOW is
difficult - he works, I at home with child, I don't know the language yet as well as I would like. We even said if we knew then what we know now -- I would have come from the US from the very beginning.
The path that is easy is not always the path that is right. I think it was the right decision back then for him to come, but in hindsight I think I know that my personality lends itself to being a better 'foreigner' in his
country than him in mine. You have to know yourself and your partner and always remember, no matter which way the 2 of you choose ... to ASK periodically throughout the year(s) - how are you? do u like it
here?? etc I did that and also promised that if it came to us moving to Germany I would not oppose trying it. So imagine my surprise in 2005 when I asked those questions and he said he wanted to come back.
Gulp!I said I would try it right? And so here we are - learning, living, loving - together. That is the key... When people ask why am I here.. I say I am here for Love... and it's true. I'll leave u with these thoughts
that have helped me through the tough decisions: The goal of marriage is not to think alike but to think together. Love is true when you don't see eye to eye but can still walk hand in hand. And lastly, Love does
not consist of gazing at each other but in looking outward in the same direction. Good luck-ML