The German "genau" phenomenon

exactly...case and point

Exactly --> genau!

Things I hate about conversing with Germans:

Scenario one:

Moi: So, what do you think about the new law on VAT? (Was sagst Du zur Mehrwertsteuererhöhung?)
German: I think it's a shame, the government is taxing us enough already and it's bad for economic growth. (Ich finde es Schade, da die Regierung schon jetzt soviel Steuer von seinen Bürgern verlangt und es schlecht ist für das Wirtschaftswachstum). DAS MUSS MAN EINFACH MAL SAGEN.

When I hear this sentence "das muss man einfach mal sagen", my innards turn.

Scenario two:
Moi: How's your new project coming along? (Wie läuft das neue Projekt?)
BF: It's a catastrophe, the distributors told us that they would deliver the new software and that they would help us installing! (Katastrophal, der Ausliefer meinte die würden a die Software liefern und uns b bei der Installation helfen.

Moi: Are we going away on the weekend? (Fahren wir weg am Wochenende?)
BF: It depends if the weather is good and whether there is still any snow to be found. (Es hängt davon ab ob a das Wetter hält und b es irgendwo noch Schnee zu finden gibt.)

Moi: How are you? (Wie geht es Dir?)
BF: Good, I am feeling better and able to go back to work. (Gut, ich fühle mich a besser und b bin ich in der Lage wieder zu arbeiten

Moi: Would you like some more Parmesan on your spaghetti? (Magst Du noch Parmesan auf die Spaghetti haben?)
BF: Yes, it would taste better and go well with the dish (Ja, es würde a besser schmecken und b besser zum Gericht passen.)

Moi: Would you like a kiss?
BF: Yes, I would like a kiss and read a nice book. (Ja, ich würde a gerne einen Kuss haben und b ein gutes Buch lesen.

AARRGH! I can't stand it anymore! Why do they always have to say "a" and "b" when replying to things?? Do they think it makes them sound more scholarly?? It is driving me nuts!!

Scenario three:
Moi: How do you fix this?(Wie repariert man das?)
German: It's easy. Insert this bit and then you have to attach this afterwards. (Ganz einfach. Man muss das praktisch einfach hier einstecken und dann das hier daran befestigen).
I can't hear the word "praktisch" anymore, it gets used in every bloody sentence!! Man muss praktisch einfach geradeaus gehen. Sie müssen praktisch nur diese Seite lesen. Wir sollen praktisch nur noch so weitermachen. Das Ausländerproblem wird sich praktisch von alleine lösen wenn wir einfach oft genug praktisch sagen.

Horrible isn't it? Gell.

why did not u translate, would u like a kiss to german?

Although I've heard all of MajorBummer's three scenarios being used, I don't think it's a general thing. And yes, the people who use these phrases sound like idiots, even to other Germans.

The misuse of "praktisch" I find is not dissimilar to the English "at the end of the day".

Every language has its idioms, and some are overused to the point that they become clichés and then (with any luck) drop out of use altogether.

The word of the moment with young Germans seems to be "ey". How to halve your perceived IQ in one easy step.

That was hilarious MB.

I'm guilty of the "gell" syndrome as well, I think it's my way of translating my Canadian "eh"

i always took "oder" at the end of a sentence to be equivalent to "right?"

i also thinks it's humorous when germans speaking english translate it literally and say "or?" at the end of the sentence. it always confused the hell out of me when i first met my german boyfriend (before i spoke any german).

alternative Engish translation. 'Yes it would, one, taste better and, two, go well with the dish.'

[ and we add meaningless interjections in English too, you know. 'You've just got to go straight on, like' 'You just need to read this page, right' 'We just need to keep on doing it, you know!'

Terrible, init?

The worst "offenders" in my experience are the Swiss. They even use it when stating a fact and make it sound like they're asking you a question.

I had a problem with this when I was trying to guide a Swiss user through an application.

I was telling him to click on such-and-such a button, then he would say something like "und dann sehe ich die Maske <x>, oderrrrr?"

Most confusing. So do you actually see the dialog or is that what you are expecting to see when you eventually get round to clicking the button??? Aaargh!

It wasn't meant to be funny. I think I need to hang around more with expats for the sake of my mental health and my next bf is going to be a nice English chap for a change.

Promise or threat?

what is "Ja, Logo"? I've never heard that one

Yes, of course. Logo being a truncation/colloquialisation of "logisch", "logical" in this way being used as an affirmative.

i like genau

Me too, I say "right" all the time in English, same thing really.