Got up this morning at 05:40 and got dressed without thinking which is my excuse for wearing white socks. They were clean, they were there, and they looked comfortable.

But here's the problem, at work I wear special ESD sandals so I don't blow things up in the lab (I blow them up anyway, but the sandals aren't to blame). I think its quite enlightended of the company to issue me with corporate sandals on my first day at work.

As I kicked off my shoes and put on my sandals I realised to my horror my enormous faux pas. What can I do? Who can I turn to?

Relax, take it easy and think how great it is that you live in Germany. They wear white socks with sandals to weddings here.

Jeebus on a pogostick, just take your sox off.
*shakes head at male helplessness*

Don't look down, stay calm, turn the lights off, then remove the offending footwear and replace with a pair of Nike Air Max or Converse All Stars. Then ask your colleagues to shoot you if they ever see you wearing socks (white or not) with sandals again.

These guys are in urgent need of some sartorial education, (I think the 4th one from the top is my old Science teacher) http://www.sandalandsoxer.co.uk/home.htm

Good advice FirstCitizen but

1. I don't have Nike Air Max or Converse All Stars
2. Its daylight
3. Those Nike stuff wouldn't save the delicate electronics from me

I've just checked in the kitchen hoping to find a jar of beetroot. then I could accidentally drop it on my white socks and turn them beetroot colour. But there is no beetroot. There's mustard and lime pickle, I mean a jar of mustard, and a jar of lime pickle, not pickle made from lime and mustard. Will that work?

Help colleagues arriving by the minute and my legs are stuck under the desk, and I need to, to ... well you know

EDIT How about tomatoe ketchup?

Coffee stains might work well. Every office has access to coffee

Otherwise, just take off your socks - or perhaps, you could put your socks over your sandals. That way it will just look like you're wearing white socks

They're not even going to look at your feet, and if they do claim to have arrived sockless but added the socks to save them the sight of your feet.

Or, if they comment, stare sneeringly and tell them it's high fashion and they must not have got the memo.

If you have to ... well, you know ... then aim carefully and create a decorative vertical stripe pattern along the ribbed tops of your socks.

I'm not sure what qualifies you as having spent too long in Germany:

1. Wearing socks and sandals
2. Wearing white socks and sandals
3. Wearing white socks and sandals at work
4. Wearing white socks and sandals at work and admitting it on the internet

Anyway get busy with a textliner and paint your socks obnoxious pink or electric bile yellow depending on what is available. Nobody will ever complain about you wearing white socks again.

Get out a whacking great marker pen, and write "CUNT" on your forehead. It'll totally distract people from noticing your footwear.

Anyway, Jules had it right - this is Germany; the only country in the world where you won't attract finger pointing and ridicule for looking like a muppet.

It seems MadAxe has invented an English speaking expat detector..

The only people who will not react in a strange way to you while wearing this abominable footwear combination are the locals.

Anyone else who looks at you, tries run over you with a car, hit you with anything, piss on your socks in the toilet etc are not local and have identified themselves as coming from an english speaking country. As such thus proving the efficiency of your new device...

llees idea is inspired. I've been walking around the lab, pouncing on everyone wearing dark socks with sandals and telling them this is the last week non regulation sockware will be tolerated. If I see them next week in non white socks I'm afraid I'll have to report them. They all denied having seen the memo, but I told them ignorance of the law is no excuse.

I was thinking of following the Don's advice but they all know already I'm a cunt, especially after I launched the sock inquisition.

Exactly! We're modern tolerant people and think that your dress-sense (or lack of it) is something to laugh about behind closed doors.

Now as for your mullet ...

Exactly. White is the colour of lab coats, therefore representative of Science. It's your duty to science to wear white socks from now on. And everyone else's duty too.

Your lab's going to be hilarious.

Think you're missing the point treacle - wearing shit looking sandals and white socks in kroutland is effectively like wearing a kilt to a scottish wedding. Everyone else in the entire world would think you look like a cunt, but when in Rome...

you did say this is your first day working...no? So WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING CHATTING ON TT

Oh, and can you post a pic of your idiotic footgear set-up.

I personally love white socks, and wear them whenever I need to wear socks. Coloured socks are just wrong. Must be a throwback to my school days.

However, socks with sandals is just wrong, regardless of colour. Unless you have totally minging feet, a la Victoria Beckham or Sharon Stone, take off the socks and let your toes catch some breeze.

What makes you so damn sure that THE germans are the only one's doing it or this is supposed to be a typical cultural trait of a german?
By the look on that website mentioned a couple of posts earlier there are lots of tommies/Inselaffen wearing them (it mentions further down "it took less than 1 hour to snap these beauties", not bad ) - must be a pommie invention then, ey? Also it would support "effectively" your logic then - the british are badly dressed and have no style.
I reckon it must be british people who you see wearing those beauties in kroutland.
Btw. here are a couple of cunts in sandals with socks wearing a kilt

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and here...

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Respect to you for spelling krout properly.

No doubt that some British people wear white socks and sandals - the point is that you look like a numpty, and people will ridicule you for it in England. In Germany, I've seen directors go to meetings wearing a suit, white socks, and sandals, and nobody bats an eyelid.

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Right here are the offending items. ESD tags clearly visible. The meeting this morning was hell, but I managed to sit opposite a Russian and a Singaporean. Only they could see my feet. And they don't count. I kept them craftily hidden from the rest.

My clever little plan of starting the sock inquisition is doomed. They're not that stupid here.

Worse still I'll be parading them (socks not sandles) at curry night tonight.

Its not my first day at work today. I was given them on my first day. But this is the first time I've worn them with <shudder> white socks.

damn your whites are white. You must also do your laundry like a Krout and "boil" everything.

It makes perfect sense. White socks, being undyed, are less dangerous in a lab situation.

You know they look ridiculous, but it's better than having your feet burned off in a lab fire.

Tell them.

As (partial) German let me add one thing:

The only reason to wear white socks here for other activities than sports? You are a Michael Jackson impersonator.

My boss even yelled at me because my suit was too light-colored. The day I wear white socks at work will be my last.

I bet they also issue you with brown flares, a yellow nylon shirt and a kipper tie, don't they?

I am completely lost. Why would dyed socks be more dangerous? What's more, if there is any risk atall of getting your feet burned off, you want to wear fucking massive huge great boots is what you wanna do, not bleedin' sandals.

And another thing - right, my mum yeah, always used to say that you should always wear clean pants*, the reasoning being that if you get whacked by a car, and have to go to hospital, and they have to take your clothes off, at least you'll have the dignity of having nice clean pants on. I think thats a load of bollocks, because if a car was about to hit you, you might well shit yourself anyway. Still, my point is, that if you totally burnt your feet, and went to hospital, they'd have to remove the charred sandals, and there might still be some remnant of proof that you also had white socks on, so not only would you have burnt feet, you'd be the laughing stock of the hospital staff, which would be well rubbish. No dignity atall. Well actually, come to think of it man, I'Ve been in hospitals here, and they go one step further up the tree of stupid footwear, and totally wear white clogs. Clogs for fucks sake! Where are we, Holland? Wish we were man, from stories I've heard, even small boys are allowed to put their finger in dykes.
Mmm. Lesbian porn.

* for you americans, I don't mean "trousers", I mean...actually I have no idea what you call pants.

Don, we call them underwear which includes what covers your lower half and a t-shirt under a dress shirt would be considered underwear.
for men - boxers or briefs (which are sometimes white)
for ladies panties.

carry on

seriously the only ppl in the entire world i've ever seen wear sandals and socks were AMERICAN dudes! well its true!!! they all been in the army and stationed in germany, nope thats not true, oregonian bus drivers do it too and some loacals there too. no matter what colour the sock is its always pulled all the way up to somewhere mid calf, wonder if this might actually be more of an american thing... coz if i look around the streets here i dont see that. then maybe i just blank it out coz its toooooo horrible and my eyes might start to hurt lol

Don't blame me for the dictates of fashion. I'm just trying to get the man out of an embarrassing situation. If that involves making his entire office wear ridiculous footwear then it's a small price to pay. Collateral damage, if you will.

I thought you had to wear sandals and white socks to get past passport control in Germany. I also thought it was mandatory to turn up to work
in sandals and socks and carrying a crate of fizzy water.

MadAxeMurderer I can see you did some shopping today .

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Its seemingly international - yonks ago when I first came to Hamburg area I was about to fly back to UK & somehow the conversation came around having clean clothes before travelling. Japanese professor^* (who spoke very good English) said his mother had told him the same thing too...

^{* Over 20 years later this guy showed me around parts of Tokyo when I visited there on business...}

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I like wearing socks and sandals. Have done so long before moving to Germany. Comfortable is all I can say and I am a creature of comforts. Watch out MAM, before long you will like it.

He claims he doesn't do it all the time, but my boyfriend has worn socks with sandals.
I have to say that this example (Mad axe murder) is not as bad as the bf once- black jeans, navy blue socks, and teva sandals... it was not a pretty sight!

And you're still with him? Proof positive that love is blind.

Anyone else know these UK names for "boy-knickers"?:
- Grundies
- Keks
- Shreddies

i'll let him know that he should appreciate my tolerance

If my husband ever wear socks with sandals it's grounds for divorce.

guess what you are american just as i pointed out earlier...
and i dont care if its comfy or not dont wear it outside

I wear ankle high socks with sandals and at least I don't wear Hawaiian shirts outside of Hawaii.

MAM, the sox can't shock any more, but what did your co-workers think of you taking what may have looked like an auto-crotch shot?

May I make a small suggestion. Why not keep your comfortable white socks in a completely separate pile/drawer/cupboard to socks in colours suitable for work? Then the likelihood of you repeating such a reprehensible act might be diminished if not completely eliminated.

My mother - who is slightly on the batty side - also advised that when going out, one should always be wearing clean pants. However, she also insisted on ironing all the pants too - not while I was actually wearing them I might add. Who in their right mind, irons pants!

Probably the same people who iron tea towels, undershirts and bed-sheets...i.e. my gran and my friend Megan.

I iron dish towels for the sole reason that they are easier to store in the kitchen drawer when flattened. Sheets - never.
But I do know someone who irons socks ...

Yes you look like a numpty wearing them and I don't support this kind of bad taste, but I doubt that you get ridiculed for it in GB. TBH the fashion style there is wearing your trainers all the time and/or a footie shirt - now you look like a numpty in that too and nobody rises an eyebrow. And the amount of (british) people wearing socks and sandals on that website might proove that it's socially acceptable to do so.
Now back in good olde Germoney I don't think it is an acceptable norm to wear that crap in the office or in the workplace either.

Of course directors are exempt from this fauxpas and the staff/workers even encourage them to do so in not saying anything.
Zis is very good vor everybody: se boss has proof that he has class, se workers/staff might get a raise because in following se Führer and wearing also socks and sandals (group bond yu know) and third that you work in a numpty firm.

Oh woe to me, is there no end to this horrific saga. Had a wonderful curry last night, and might have slightly over consumed on the alcohol front, so was a bit bleary eyed this morning. However I remembered the shame of yesterday, and even though the sock cupboard was a bit bare I found a pair that are most definitely not white.

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Unfortunately they’re also definitely not the same colour, and the left one looks a little threadbare. Engineers can be forgiven for threadbare socks??? Pleeeese!

To compound this I’m terrified to switch on anything on in case I start a fire and roast my feet. Its hard to look busy with all screens blank, all fans stopped, all lights non blinking. And I want to sink an axe into my colleagues who have fans whirring, relays clicking, and veritable Christmas trees of LEDs.

How do you retrain for accountancy?

The white socks looked better. Now you just look chaotically pretentious.

If you want to go with non-white socks, go the whole 9 yards and buy multicolored toe socks.

Blame it on your personal static electricity and claim that both sox were the same color when you left home.

To be honest, are there going to be any socks that don't look ridiculous with those sandals? What have you worn up to now?