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Playing hard to get
Can it make or break a potential relationship?
Maybe he's gay.
QUOTE (Elfenstar @ May 14 2008, 10:25 am) 
this is very German to go on vacation with "just a friend". it used to drive me nuts with all my exes. it's perfectly normal. so if she says just a friend, then trust her.
trust her... to an extent...
Deutsche finden Fremdgehen in den Ferien in Ordnung
QUOTE (Elfenstar @ May 14 2008, 10:25 am)
... for all you know, she just wants to be friends. i have this really good friend right now and the other night we were talking about our first "date" and I told him i hadn't been out on a dates for like forever and how nervous i was and all and he was like "i didn't think it was a date. i just thought you were an interesting woman and so thought it would be nice to have dinner."
Maybe thats just the start...
Just tell her you are really interested in her and want to take it on to the next stage.If she asks what that is try and kiss her if she backs off you know where you stand.Good god some people can be really wussy.Thank god i am from the north of England and have never had to suffer from this.Yeh right he says.
QUOTE (Crack_Cocaine @ May 13 2008, 7:53 pm)
I've just started dating some German chick, she seems quite cute and everything ... it's probably not worth pursuing. Plus there are loads of single girls in Munich.
QUOTE (Crack_Cocaine @ May 13 2008, 8:26 pm)
Though good quality Kraut can sometimes be a bit tricky to get a hold of ...
This sounds very detached if not hard-nosed. Clever as women are, she senses that and mirrors your attitude. What else do you expect?
Been a Kraut yourself, I hope you weren't too offended by my Kraut comment (go on, call me Inselaffen )
)
QUOTE (Crack_Cocaine @ May 13 2008, 7:53 pm)
I've just started dating some German chick, she seems quite cute and everything, but she can be inclined to send me a "I'm busy on *input day* so can't make it. But I can make it on *input other day here*, so take your pick." sms, every once in a while.
Normally I quite like the chase, but when girls play it hard to get, too often, then after some time I start thinking that she's got her head up her arse and it's probably not worth pursuing. Plus there are loads of single girls in Munich.
Of course, she could just be not interested, but if that was the case she could have just told me to fuck off by now (in the nicest possible way, of course). Any comments?
Normally I quite like the chase, but when girls play it hard to get, too often, then after some time I start thinking that she's got her head up her arse and it's probably not worth pursuing. Plus there are loads of single girls in Munich.
Of course, she could just be not interested, but if that was the case she could have just told me to fuck off by now (in the nicest possible way, of course). Any comments?
Ok well I didn't have time to read all the replies but going by the way I was when I was single she is probably just not that into you. Not that she is not interested but maybe she is still thinking about it...
I used to 'play hard to get' as you say with guys all the time and said I couldn't make this day or that day as I was busy, going to aerobics on Thursday night or something similar. Until I met my current boyfriend and then it changed - I actually wanted to meet him instead of going to aerobics class or shopping or whatever so always found the time to meet him - because something deep down inside me wanted to. I was prepared to change my schedule to find time for him. If she is not that flexible then I would just tell her to SMS you when she has time to meet you and wait for her to get in touch.
QUOTE (Crack_Cocaine @ May 14 2008, 11:26 am)
Been a Kraut yourself, I hope you weren't too offended by my Kraut comment (go on, call me Inselaffen )
Nah, I just wanted to offer an insider point of view (female + Kraut).
PM hit the nail on the head.
If you're really into someone, nothing stands in the way but most of the time, at least in the beginning you could really take it or leave it so it's not so much playing hard to get but that the person isn't one of your priorities.
That doesn't mean that they can't become one of your priorities in time though.
If you're really into someone, nothing stands in the way but most of the time, at least in the beginning you could really take it or leave it so it's not so much playing hard to get but that the person isn't one of your priorities.
That doesn't mean that they can't become one of your priorities in time though.
Yeah Fuck it. You're right. Easy come, easy go. Plenty more pebbles on the beech. Andere Mütter haben auch schöne Töchter, u.s.w...
Isnt there a book written for women called somethig along the lines of 'he just isnt in too you'.
In my experience this type of thing is either as they are not too botherd but you will do for a bit or its a mind game. Either way either dump the whole situation or play it.
Don't call her as often and when she calls you say you have something on. My last experience of this was that the minute I was not there when needed things changed.
Girl became much more keen as she thought I had lost interest.
Don't be so reliable and ready all the time, wait and see if once she starts to feel she is no longer in control and you are at her call things change.
In my experience this type of thing is either as they are not too botherd but you will do for a bit or its a mind game. Either way either dump the whole situation or play it.
Don't call her as often and when she calls you say you have something on. My last experience of this was that the minute I was not there when needed things changed.
Girl became much more keen as she thought I had lost interest.
Don't be so reliable and ready all the time, wait and see if once she starts to feel she is no longer in control and you are at her call things change.
QUOTE (Eleanor Rigby @ May 14 2008, 11:41 am)
PM hit the nail on the head.
If you're really into someone, nothing stands in the way but most of the time, at least in the beginning you could really take it or leave it so it's not so much playing hard to get but that the person isn't one of your priorities.
That doesn't mean that they can't become one of your priorities in time though.
If you're really into someone, nothing stands in the way but most of the time, at least in the beginning you could really take it or leave it so it's not so much playing hard to get but that the person isn't one of your priorities.
That doesn't mean that they can't become one of your priorities in time though.
That is exactly true and what happened to me. It just hit me all of a sudden after our second date. He had asked me what I was doing on the weekend and I had said busy cleaning flat, doing errands not sure on plan etc. a bit non committal as I had always been before. But I woke up that Saturday morning and realised that I wanted to spend time with him and quite frankly the cleaning could wait a day or two and I called him. Kind of never looked back from that point...
QUOTE (cb6dba @ May 14 2008, 11:57 am)
Isnt there a book written for women called somethig along the lines of 'he just isnt in too you'.
Yes there is - that got me thinking of it!
QUOTE (cb6dba @ May 14 2008, 11:57 am)
Girl became much more keen as she thought I had lost interest.
Don't be so reliable and ready all the time, wait and see if once she starts to feel she is no longer in control and you are at her call things change.
Don't be so reliable and ready all the time, wait and see if once she starts to feel she is no longer in control and you are at her call things change.
That happened to me on occasions as well but in the end I soon realised they were guys I was never actually interested in.
QUOTE (cb6dba @ May 14 2008, 11:57 am)
Isnt there a book written for women called somethig along the lines of 'he just isnt in too you'.
He's Just Not That Into You.
QUOTE (cb6dba @ May 14 2008, 11:57 am)
Isnt there a book written for women called somethig along the lines of 'he just isnt in too you'.
In my experience this type of thing is either as they are not too botherd but you will do for a bit or its a mind game. Either way either dump the whole situation or play it.
Don't call her as often and when she calls you say you have something on. My last experience of this was that the minute I was not there when needed things changed.
Girl became much more keen as she thought I had lost interest.
Don't be so reliable and ready all the time, wait and see if once she starts to feel she is no longer in control and you are at her call things change.
In my experience this type of thing is either as they are not too botherd but you will do for a bit or its a mind game. Either way either dump the whole situation or play it.
Don't call her as often and when she calls you say you have something on. My last experience of this was that the minute I was not there when needed things changed.
Girl became much more keen as she thought I had lost interest.
Don't be so reliable and ready all the time, wait and see if once she starts to feel she is no longer in control and you are at her call things change.
Listen, if this girl already has a good portfolio of potential candidates, she is probably not going to notice if you stopped calling. And if you try to be manipulative you are probably going to land on her shit list.
QUOTE (Purple Muffin @ May 14 2008, 11:32 am)
I used to 'play hard to get' as you say with guys all the time and said I couldn't make this day or that day as I was busy, going to aerobics on Thursday night or something similar. Until I met my current boyfriend and then it changed - I actually wanted to meet him instead of going to aerobics class or shopping or whatever so always found the time to meet him -...
in a sense you are right, but she is also setting the tone by saying you're important to her, but so is my her normal life too. she did offer an alternative date. we women tend to drop everything for the man and once we get into relationships, everything revolves around him and we gladly make sacrifices for him.
Speak for yourself.
Yeah yeah Eleanor_Rigby, I bet you're hard on the outside and soft on the inside too
Back to the original topic heading...not sure why you are so worried about a potential relationship with someone. Send her a txt that you are going to meet her somewhere for dinner/drinks. In this case don't even ask just say you have it planned. If she says no then I wouldn't play her game.
However, if she txt's you at 3am asking what you are doing then you win and you get laid...game over
However, if she txt's you at 3am asking what you are doing then you win and you get laid...game over
@lifeisabuffet..
Does it matter if I land on her shit list if she is giving me the brush off?
If the girl wouldn't notice if I stopped calling then i am wasting my time, she obviously isnt that botherd and not worthy of the time and effort.
Effort in the wrong place is wasted, the OP would have more success putting his efforts into a girl who reciprocates the effort. Anything else is just trying to ice skate up a very steep hill or trying to push his way through a door while loking at the 'pull' sign.
I'm not sure I have ever met anyone with a portfolio of potential candidates that was not a pro-photographer but if she has, then its time to decide if the OP wants to be the competative dueling type or just leave her to her portfolio and get on with his life.
In this situation the OP has nothing to lose except the vague hope this girl may be interested. That hope is based on what the OP would like to happen and how he would like the situation to be: for them to get together etc.
This isnt happening. I agree she could just be a grounded girl who isn't going to put her life on hold for a guy however I have never cancelled or knocked back a date with someone I liked for anything other than something very important.
Only the OP knows how the meetings go and this will be his best way to guess who she feels.
However aerobics, at least its different to washing/colouring your hair/poodle/cat.
Edit: its been a while since you posted any pictures, some of us are getting withdrawl symptons
Does it matter if I land on her shit list if she is giving me the brush off?
If the girl wouldn't notice if I stopped calling then i am wasting my time, she obviously isnt that botherd and not worthy of the time and effort.
Effort in the wrong place is wasted, the OP would have more success putting his efforts into a girl who reciprocates the effort. Anything else is just trying to ice skate up a very steep hill or trying to push his way through a door while loking at the 'pull' sign.
I'm not sure I have ever met anyone with a portfolio of potential candidates that was not a pro-photographer but if she has, then its time to decide if the OP wants to be the competative dueling type or just leave her to her portfolio and get on with his life.
In this situation the OP has nothing to lose except the vague hope this girl may be interested. That hope is based on what the OP would like to happen and how he would like the situation to be: for them to get together etc.
This isnt happening. I agree she could just be a grounded girl who isn't going to put her life on hold for a guy however I have never cancelled or knocked back a date with someone I liked for anything other than something very important.
Only the OP knows how the meetings go and this will be his best way to guess who she feels.
However aerobics, at least its different to washing/colouring your hair/poodle/cat.
Edit: its been a while since you posted any pictures, some of us are getting withdrawl symptons
Tieing her up...yeah, I love the whole domination thing. I don't know about the whole WWII thing though
Next weekend is a big weekend and I have 4 friends over from London. So I decided to keep a low profile and save myself for some debauchery next weekend. So, this evening I invited her out. She responded by telling me she was not going out tonight because she has 2 friends staying over tomorrow...so she's...ehm...how can I put this...she's cleaning
So I thought after reading between the lines that I'd give her the "let's call it a day, as I want a woman not a girl...blah blah blah...and, all the best." e-mail today. She responded later to my email this evening...891 words!? She can write for Germany. I really really don't understand women. Are they all this messed up? I got her life story from her. Really, every woman is truely different, but all share the similarity in that they're all fucking crazy-nuts-stupid-cum-notonthisplanet. ... No offence.
The content of her email certainly didn't imply she was not interested. Quite the contrary. What's even weirder is that we've only just kind of met, but so far she's given me completely mixed signals, so much so that I thought, 'she's not that bothered, so better to end things and then fuck off.'
Next week is some Hollescheck party in Munich, and the last one I went to was crawling with Grade-A, 5* quality German Frauen. I'm already looking forward to it...
Next weekend is a big weekend and I have 4 friends over from London. So I decided to keep a low profile and save myself for some debauchery next weekend. So, this evening I invited her out. She responded by telling me she was not going out tonight because she has 2 friends staying over tomorrow...so she's...ehm...how can I put this...she's cleaning
So I thought after reading between the lines that I'd give her the "let's call it a day, as I want a woman not a girl...blah blah blah...and, all the best." e-mail today. She responded later to my email this evening...891 words!? She can write for Germany. I really really don't understand women. Are they all this messed up? I got her life story from her. Really, every woman is truely different, but all share the similarity in that they're all fucking crazy-nuts-stupid-cum-notonthisplanet. ... No offence.
The content of her email certainly didn't imply she was not interested. Quite the contrary. What's even weirder is that we've only just kind of met, but so far she's given me completely mixed signals, so much so that I thought, 'she's not that bothered, so better to end things and then fuck off.'
Next week is some Hollescheck party in Munich, and the last one I went to was crawling with Grade-A, 5* quality German Frauen. I'm already looking forward to it...
QUOTE (Crack_Cocaine @ May 17 2008, 1:49 am)
I really really don't understand women. The content of her email certainly didn't imply she was not interested.
Apparently she must not be THAT interested if she didn't make plans to see you. If she was really interested in getting to know you better I think she would have asked to spend some time with you by now. Your limited understanding of women may be affecting your perception and interpretion of what she said in her email. Your understanding (or misunderstanding) of what she wrote is based on your own ego needs.
My suggestion to you is, just move on.
QUOTE (Lavender Rain @ May 17 2008, 6:16 am)
Your limited understanding of women ...
To be fair, I also find it very difficult to understand some women.
I absolutely agree with you on this.
For me, it's more than enough sometimes to just try to fully understand myself .
For me, it's more than enough sometimes to just try to fully understand myself .
QUOTE (Fallen Angel @ May 17 2008, 7:34 am)
To be fair, I also find it very difficult to understand some women.
Honestly...does any man?
My husband does .
.
So now its time to turn the tables and do not contact her in any way shape or form.If she is interested then she will get in touch.If she does not then waste your time on another female.
What's her phone number? I'll give it a try
0190 66666666666 see how much sechs at € 0,25 a minute
No offence or anything but from the things you write here, you lack charm, and a lot of what you say comes across blatantly sexist if not mildly offensive.
I never said I was either charming or politically correct, in any case?!
sos mate, heavy night, didn't mean the charm thing. Some German girls can take literally months of dating. In the UK where dating isn't so common this might be playing hard to get, but it is more normal in Germany.
I think your assessment on post #79 is spot on.
agreed. If in person he speaks the same way he does here, she's probably trying to get rid of him.
'He's Just Not That Into You'
By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
the book can not apply here its about American relationships.. I think it would defiantly not work in German or even English relationships.. the cultural difference and all.. But From what I have seen in the whole German dating ( not much but I do have some German Girlfriends) .. she is just not that into you..
By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
the book can not apply here its about American relationships.. I think it would defiantly not work in German or even English relationships.. the cultural difference and all.. But From what I have seen in the whole German dating ( not much but I do have some German Girlfriends) .. she is just not that into you..
QUOTE (Crack_Cocaine @ May 13 2008, 7:53 pm)
I've just started dating some German chick, she seems quite cute and everything, but she can be inclined to send me a "I'm busy on *input day* so can't make it. But I can make it on *input other day here*, so take your pick." sms, every once in a while.
QUOTE (cb6dba @ May 16 2008, 3:17 pm)
@lifeisabuffet..
If the girl wouldn't notice if I stopped calling then i am wasting my time, she obviously isnt that botherd and not worthy of the time and effort.
Effort in the wrong place is wasted, the OP would have more success putting his efforts into a girl who reciprocates the effort. Anything else is just trying to ice skate up a very steep hill or trying to push his way through a door while loking at the 'pull' sign
If the girl wouldn't notice if I stopped calling then i am wasting my time, she obviously isnt that botherd and not worthy of the time and effort.
Effort in the wrong place is wasted, the OP would have more success putting his efforts into a girl who reciprocates the effort. Anything else is just trying to ice skate up a very steep hill or trying to push his way through a door while loking at the 'pull' sign
Effort? What effort? You gotta be kidding. Do you consider sending random SMS messages "effort"? A real man picks up the phone and calls the girl and lets her know that he is genuinely interested in that girl. Even my 14 year old cousin knows that and he does not merely SMS girls, and he calls up them, and expresses his interest in them. Sending random SMS messages and waiting for the girl to like you is more like middle school stuff.
@OP, sorry you seem to have failed the real-man-test as defined above...
You should go to your local Church and think about a life in the clergy, maybe one that has the no sex/contact with females vow.
Alternativly, call this girl every day to tell her you are interested and see where that gets you
As a second alternative you could offer her some of the products in the 'amusing names for german products' thread... This may however be counter productive depending on which product/s you mention...
Didn't the OP receive the sms's so either she (or maybe both?) is the one now showing any effort?
I accept I do not know the girl concerned but to infer she needs to be a real man may be a little unfair to her..
891 words..Thats an essay...
What did she say?
You should go to your local Church and think about a life in the clergy, maybe one that has the no sex/contact with females vow.
Alternativly, call this girl every day to tell her you are interested and see where that gets you
As a second alternative you could offer her some of the products in the 'amusing names for german products' thread... This may however be counter productive depending on which product/s you mention...
Didn't the OP receive the sms's so either she (or maybe both?) is the one now showing any effort?
I accept I do not know the girl concerned but to infer she needs to be a real man may be a little unfair to her..
891 words..Thats an essay...
What did she say?
Maybe she actually has a life and doesn't want to be tied down at this moment...? She's not playing hard to get, she just has a life.
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