Amusing German words for a wedding speech

hello everyone!

just had an idea for my best mans wedding speech this weekend - as my best friend is marrying a german girl, I thought it might be funny to read out some really stupid german words that he would find useful being married. The longer the word is the better

ie

"drachenfutter" - the gift of flowers or jewelery a husband needs to offer the angry dragon when he returns home late form the pub

so things like this if anyone knows any or wants to make some up???

your help would be ultra ultra apprecaited!!!

It's obvious. Fahrt.

probably not long enough!!!

To be honest I would not recommend trying to be too "clever". Suggestion in post #2 will go down like a lead Zeppelin with half the attendees. Do not mention the War!

Maybe that German girls are the best (own experience: 20th anniversiary this November...)

Not really a funny word but a potentially funny situation. You might want to inform him that "Möpse" has more than one meaning.

It's a tricky endeavour. Brits don't understand German, Krouts don't understand humour.

Whilst the first statement is true the second is not necessarily so - but they are unlikely to understand certain styles of what some Brits believe to be humour... Don't mention the war...

my first joke is going to be something like 'the fact that she has agreed to marrying him is proof that germans DO have a sense of humour!'

Start out like that and you'll need words like schwere Körperverletzung, Notarzteinsatz, Scheidungsvereinbarung and nachehelicher Unterhalt.

Also stay off comparing Braut and broad.

Why not just Mime the whole charade "Mr Bean" style..

They will laugh their fucking arses off at that!

Brustwarze

Clearly I have a one track mind.

You can refer to gathering acorns in the forest if your humor is that way inclined.
"Eichelsuche im dichten Wald"

Not sure about funny but "Hör mit dem Nörgeln auf! " is pretty useful and you should get that in.

Superb, the German for nagging wife is 'Hausdrachen'. Get that in as well.