Scotch eggs from Aldi

I love scotch eggs, I always have done. Whenever people visit from England, I always ask them to bring Scotch eggs.

Sadly, they simply do not freeze particularly well - the egg goes a bit weird - so long term support of a Scotch egg fetish whilst living in Germany requires that you learn how to make them yourself.

As fortune would have it, scotch eggs are really simple to make - and you can EVEN make then with ingredients bought solely from that bastion of rotten produce and shithouse customer service, Aldi.

This makes 4.

250g minced pork - I don't care what stupid little stickers Aldi put on their food claiming that it is really great, it isn't. Their fresh meat is poor quality produce, so I'd say you should get some decent minced pork from the butcher, but Aldi do at least sell minced pork, so you could use it.

6 eggs - always open the egg carton and check then in Aldi. Their poorly trained, inept staff do not even understand that rotting vegetables should not be put out on display, so don't assume that the egg cartons were not kicked about the place before being put out. You'll often find a few cracked eggs in an Aldi carton.

Box of paniermehl - dried breadcrumbs. At the time of writing, this is safe to get at Aldi, they've not yet worked out how to fuck up breadcrumbs, but don't bet on them not finding a way how to in the future

1 small onion

1 lemon and some sage - optional. Aldi sells lemons, but never seen sage there.

Vegetable oil for deep frying

Clingfilm - don't even start to try to make scotch eggs without clingfilm

First step is simply. Hard boil 4 of the eggs. If you don't know how to do this, then buy a Delia Smith book. When cooked, peel the eggs.

Make up your "sausagemeat". UK sausagemeat is normally put through a finer mincing plate than the minced pork here, but you should be ok. We need to season up the minced pork though, and give it that sausagemeat flavour. This is simple enough. Chop the onion up really finely, then fry in butter until softened. Add some finely chopped sage if you have it, and some grated lemon rind. When the onion micx has cooled, add it to the minced pork, and then SEASON. I write that in capitals, because you need heavy, heavy seasoning here - especially if you plan to eat the scotch eggs cold. Lots of salt n pepper. Divide the meat mix into 4 equal parts.

Now you have your sausagemeat, you have your boiled eggs, its time to make up the scotch eggs.

Cover a chopping board in a sheet of clingfilm, and have another sheet ready, of the same size. Whack one of the 4 pieces of meat mix into the middle of the clingfilm, squish down a bit to flatten it, then whack the other sheet of film on top. Now simply roll it out until its a bit bigger than the palm of your hand. As you've rolled it, you'll keep a uniform thickness to the meat casing.

Remove the top sheet of film, and put an egg in the middle of the sausage patty. The meat mix might have stuck to the clingfilm, so just lift up one side, and roll it back over the egg, and it'll be easier to unstick it. Lift up the sausage/egg mix, and in your hands, start to close the meat around the egg. If you wet your hands a bit, you can start to smooth the meat all off, and get a nice finish.

Repeat the above for the other 3 eggs.

Beat the remaining 2 eggs in a bowl, and fill a deep plate with the breadcrubms. Now, just dump a scotch egg in the beaten egg, then roll in the breadcrumbs. You can repeat this process if you like, but you really do not need to.

Now you're almost done. Its best to let the eggs sit in the fridge for an hour now to firm up a bit before deep frying.

I have no idea what oil temperature to suggest, because I deep fry in a wok with no temperature guage. Don't get the oil smoking hot, that'll be rubbish - but get it pretty hot nonetheless. Then simply deep fry your eggs for 5 minutes or so, and drain on paper towels.

Et le voila. Homemade Scotch eggs. Ginsters, eat your heart out. They are not the same delicious e-number assisted golden colour as the original ginsters, but taste and look great anyway.

I just went from orbit around Merely Hungry in the Shuddahadmorebreakfast system to out past Absolutely Starving at Warp 9.

Why do you first say you can get all the ingredients in Aldi and then do nothing else but say how crap they are??? Don't get it.

Why don't you just list the ingredients without this unnecessary slagging - everyone is capable of buying them where they want to.

Slagging is fun and you always bite.

osmachar, enough already. Slagging is what the Don does. A recipe with no slagging would be Delia, and if you want that

Consider this a counter-slag


Fifteen all.
And now stop moaning and go off and make the bloody recipe, and find out why nobody here gives two shiny shites whether the Don slags Aldi off when the result is that tasty.

Osmachar, why don't you eff off already? And take LittleSprite with you while you're at it. I'm starting to think you're one and the same anyhow, considering how both seem to appear and disappear at the same time and on the same topics, one always parroting what the other just said.

In any case, do both go away. You can hold hands and wave flags and celebrate Germany's total and complete awesomeness together. It'll be swell. Gute Fahrt.

Thank eff for the Ignore function... starting in 3...2...1...

I am just wondering what some people get out of complaining, slagging etc. i have not once said that Germany 'totally awesome' - there are loads of things that annoy the hell out of me there - but on the other hand i don't understand whay people always have to make pointless repetitive remarks about how shit everything is. A bit of a constructive discussion would maybe be more useful. For complaining you can always use topics like the vent.

And, no i don't know LittleSprite.

that would be one hell of an interesting single thread forum then

Mary mother of God, I can see your posts on Lite. I just want to stick a fork in my eye to make the pain stop. Stab stab stab.

Can you not see the retarded hypocrisy of someone who exists on a forum simply to complain about others complaining? It makes you twice as useless as those you're complaining about. There is loads of constructive discussion on this forum, you're apparently just too busy perpetuating your own tired arguments (in vain I might add) to notice.

This forum does not exist for you to understand it. So stop trying to understand it. Just go away. KTHXBYE.

yawn

Osmachar, are you and STB in the same oxygen-deprived office? Or are you just really that incapable of coming up with a decent response, so you aped his instead?

Edit: never mind, don't bother answering, just refer to post #9 and follow the directions accordingly.

Does a 'decent response' contain 'f off' and the like?

Yeah, that tends to help...also a bit of abuse about their sex, religion, nationality and skin colour helps too. Oh, if you can, throw in some lingual mocking too, zis ist making much fun!

maybe I should have a go then...

There, fixed it for you

Would the acceptable decent answer to this be 'f off yourself'?

Say what you will, but tag it with a smiley.

Because if I blindly praised Aldi instead, I'd sound like I was in a gang with you and SmallTownBoy, and then I'd have to beat myself up with a stick for being a complete cunt. Simple really.

Hey Doofus, he was slagging off on ALDI, not Germany. Or do you equate Aldi with Germany?

Blindly praising Aldi would be stupid. But I just think a simple list of ingredients would suffice so you don't have to read over all the 'crap' before you actually get to the recipe.

Just for the benefit of you? And what about the 99,99% of TTers who enjoy the 'crap'?

If you don't like Don's writing style then don't fucking read it. He's not here just to fucking provide for you.

What? And miss half the fun?

So I guess that stereotype of krouts not having any sense of humour comes from people in the UK who have met osmachar.

Well obviously he hasn't (become kinder, softer)

Osmachar, are you a lobbyist for German supermarkets. Your entire posting career seems to be complaining about people complaining about German supermarkets. And you're frankly tedious.

We don't always agree with don_rina. In fact we sometimes don't even like what he writes. But we are always, always amused.

And you my dear amuse us not a whit.

I envy you, Keydeck, truely and from the bottom of my wooden heart. I'd love to be able to say all those pretty little nice words you SEASON your posts with, and at the same time to be read them later on.

Okay now, let's not lump STB and osmachar in the same group, that's not fair at all. One contributes loads of useful stuff to TT and one doesn't, so regardless of viewpoint on German grocery stores I'd say we can let STB stay without 30 lashes*. Plus he has a sense of humour which oshmawhatever sorely lacks.

Anyway, back to Scotch eggs... I was mistakenly under the impression that they were the same as deviled eggs, but after looking at don's recipe I see this is another food fallacy dispelled.

* Unless he likes that sort of thing.

I do write other stuff as well if you haven't noticed.

And I do have a sense of humour believe it or not. Who's to say that your 'sense of humour' is the only right one.

By the way, this topic looks like a recipe and not like slagging other people.

don_riina has a particular writing style, which I and many others enjoy immensely.
And no, if I'm honest, I really haven't noticed the tsunami of support for those that dislike his writing voice, can this be added to the list of unnoticed things?

Don riina, you are an absolute star for doing this, I thought I was a freak for liking Scotch eggs, now I realise there are others like me. I'm going to try out the recipe, even if it means buying shit quality food from shit German supermarkets .

Because the irony of making Scotch Eggs from low grade food from third world supermarkets is not lost on him I should imagine.

Wait a minute. I don't always like what Don_rina writes.

When he say vegetarians are the spawn of the devil, and should have their testicles ripped off and be force fed then, while being slowly roasted over a pit I... well I know he's joking, I think he's joking...

To be fair, she does intersperse her complaining about complaining with other *helpful tips* when it is pointed out to her that she should try to do something constructive herself. As evidenced by today's little flurry of activity.

Hey, that's not fair -- none of the third world countries I've lived in have supermarkets anywhere near as crap as those in Germany.

I dunno, Mongolian supermarkets are pretty dire. But yes it is being unfair to many 3rd world country merchants.

Where do I sign up?

Ooh, naughty STB! You nice English boys can be so surprising. Then again, given your stance on food shopping, I suppose I should have pegged you as a masochist straight away.