American help needed to move a table

Hi all you ex pats! I am an American teaching English in Wiesbaden and looking to meet some fellow americans. This weekend I deperately need some help moving a small table from one side of town to my place. If anyone would be so kind as to help, lunch is on me!!!

Could we not have lunch on the table instead? Oh hang on, I'm not American. Nevermind.

If the table is only small and you're willing to shell out for lunch to get it moved, why not simply pay for a taxi kombi to move it?

How small is small?

Firstly, Americans were specifically singled out in the text... most taxi drivers here aren't American

Secondly, just because it is small doesn't mean it is easy to move... it could be an extremely dense table.

Well it's not exactly extremely small or else I would get a taxi. I need to rent a van. Lunch has two objective: payment for services rendered and getting to know someone new!

Just put it on a treadmill, maybe Ramstein airforce base can lend you one.

If I was in the service I'm sure I could find some strapping young men to oblige... but seeing as I'm just a lowly English teacher I need some help!

So, if said small table requires a van to move it, you were, in fact, telling porkies as to it's dimensions were you not?

bluedave, you know that everything is bigger in the US. A small dining tabel sits up to 8 US-sized people, they just don't make taxis that big in Old Europe.

I think it's entirely possible that only good old-fashioned American manpower is up to the task of moving this table. Possibly an Aussie or Kiwi could suffice in a pinch, but no Brits as they lack the necessary upper body strength.

Thanks for the comeback sarabyrd! You seem to know your tables!

It it an unladen table?

I don't know, what's an unladen table?

One with no coconuts on it.

And won't anyone think of the chairs? So rudely robbed of their faithful protector, nowhere to hide, exposed and vulnerable, in danger of being - horrible dictu! - sat on by non-Americans!

The table's flat but I've never been reffered to that way.

If it wasn't for the Americans seating our limey butts we would all be sitting on die stühle now.

US-Sized people? does that mean it fits 8 fat people?

I would gladly help, but i can't since I'm not American.

Ahhh Kdulmage1.. Welcome to the slapstick community of TT.. Best next time to advertise for simply someone to help.. More "PC" that way plus the English can lift there end just as good as any American ( they will be less apt to take the Piss out of you for it!!)
I would love to help but.. I live in Cologne..

It can only be an American to move that table because the American image is one of fierce strength and brawn as they are so use to trying to uphold the whole world on their shoulders.

No no.. we would never uphold the world on our "own" shoulders... we would of course set up someone in a position to do it for us and then control it; from afar :bitch and moan how they are doing it.. Gee get the sterotype right..

I forgot to add the lunch offered as compensation for help moving the table would probably be in a brown bag.

That's not what I heard.

Just can't get this mental picture out of my head: Four US squaddies - in full combat gear - running across WI, table carried pall-bearer stylee, singing:

"We're moving a big table - from right here to over there"
"it's a very big table - but we're green berets and we don't care"

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