German schoolboy doesn't prove NASA wrong

NASA have been using Microsoft Excel to do their calculations again.

They had previously thought that the Apophis asteroid only has only a 1 in 45,000 chance of striking Earth in the year 2036.

According to new calculations by a German schoolboy, however, the chances are actually 1 in 450. NASA have verified and agreed with the new assessment.

So folks, in 28 years time we're looking at 800 foot tidal waves followed by an indefinite period of dust cloud covered darkness.

But look on the bright side, at least this solves the Year 2038 problem.

AFP: German schoolboy, 13, corrects NASA's asteroid figures

My mum uses Preparation H for her asteroid problems.

We're not talking about black holes here, SP.

The only good thing is he probably gets bullied by his classmates.

and this is what happens when the USK ban the good games!

His teacher confirmed that he (the teacher) couldn't have done the maths involved there...

So - time to take out a mortgage and party like there's no 2036?

How a 13 year old boy corrected NASA's error


Be prepared, in 2036 we could have ourselves another ELE.

Topics merged by admin

Everyone is being cutesy about this but this is rather serious and has very severe long term consequences. I suggest everyone seriously contemplate not only how this will impact your life in 2036, but how it should effect the way you live your lives until then. Many things should be considered such as your religious affiliation, family ties and retirement. I think that any financial planner worth their salt (we all know men are the only ones that fit the category, but I didn't use any gender identifying pronoun. I am already preparing for the judgement) will tell you that you really need not worry too much about retirement anymore. When calculating retirement we plan to be able to support ourselves through a couple of decades of retirement, but now I only need to plan for like 5 years max. So I plan on spending recklessly, investing nothing and liquidating the kids' college funds.

This really is some great news, I think I will buy a Porsche for me and a X5 for the wife. Because not only do we no longer need to worry about our financial future, we need not concern ourselves with enviornmental issues. So drive big cars really fast, it makes no difference at all.

Now I know some of you skeptics are saying: dolfan, no where does it say everyone will die, so this is rather irresponsible advice isn't it? I say, hell no, it's great advice and forward thinking. I am optimizing my current happiness level by reducing (completely outside of my control) my life expectancy and the educational needs of my children, therby maximizing the TLQOLE (Total Life Quality of Life Equation). It is true that the initial impact and tidal wave will not cause extinction and in fact really won't kill that many people at all due to advance warnings and people fleeing the affected areas. However, death will come slowly through the break down of society and the lack of sunlight to grow food. I, of course, will stock up on essentials, like beer (probably the new currency after society breaks down) and edible underwear. Eventually though I will either starve or be bludgeoned for my stockpile.

So I say hooray for 2036 and lets all start living like there is no 2037!

So, in efect, all those preservatives they don't put in food, the ones that keep the stuff fresh for years in cans may, although not good for us, prove to be the things that save us in the long run..

Ah, life, fate, god, the universe, who or whatever, you realy have a fucled up sence of humour!

I think NASA didn't want to put in motion more "dooms day" groups by telling the truth. 1 in 450 are pretty good odds when you're talking about SPACE.

SO, in April 2029, if that thing hits one of our orbiting satellites, we'll know what is going to happen in 2036. That gives us plenty of time to plan accordingly.

Using MS Excel, I figured out too that the world will end in 2036, but luckily I proved by using Matlab that MS Excel was a pile of shit, so no need to worry.

The Register calls BS:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/04/16/es...apophis_denial/

I say let's destroy all satellites!

*Grabs pitchfork*

I think 7 years is more than enough time to kiss our asses goodbye.

What could we do to deflect this hunk of rock wiht only 7 years notice?

As Bruce died the last time it happenend and most of the team as well, we are on our own.

Correct or incorrect, time to get a telescope and watch the show

There's still SpiderPig's mum...

Up here in the mountains we're going to build a wall so all the lowlanders can FOAD.
When the Atlantic coast reaches south of Munich we'll be there with the deckchairs and cold beers.

I'll wait until 2029 and see what happens. If it does hit a satellite, I'll be the guy buying 10 acres of land in west Texas / southern New Mexico, digging a new underground home while stock-piling weapons, barbed wire, and canned goods

Schoolboy's asteroid-strike sums are wrong

You couldn't have posted that before I spent my entire pension on a porsche?

Jolly good!
Could you place a chair out already so that I can put my towel down...

That's what you get for getting your news from Digg EB!

bollox there goes my pension

Whats more scary? That the asteroid will be real close or that NASA used Microsoft Excel to calculate the orbit!

Excel to asteroid:

-Press "Enter" if you want to hit the planet.

-asteroid presses enter

-Excel:are u sure u wanna hit the planet?

-presses enter again

-Excel:are u absolutely positively 100% sure you wanna hit the planet? then press enter

-%§$&"/()§= presses enter

"Blue screen"

and you thought windows always sucked now it'll save your life.

What I find totally fucked up about this story, is how NASA actually bothered to find the time, to listen to some kid telling them "yeah, by the way I think your calculations are wrong...". I mean, he first of all rang up (quite likely) NASA and spoke to someone there who then put him through to the relevant people. Imagine the conversation:

Kid: "Hi, I think your calculation for this asteroid hitting the planet is wrong. I calculated it on my laptop, Excel to be precise."

Operator: "Wow, sounds fruity. Guess your MS Excel must override any Software package we have available here at NASA. Better put you through to one of our highly trained/educated Professors, Doctors, Scientists, Engineers or Consultants. Please hold the line.."

What's all this 2036 nonsense?

Everyone I know, knows that the world will end in 2012. That's why we've all been listening to Bowie's 'Five Years' since last year and partying like there's no 2013.

Get up to speed people. The Apocalypse is nigh(ish).

The kid was probably taking on a Cray using his Pentium 1Ghz. LOL

Towels are already in place

LMAO!

On the other hand - do you really believe they'd tell us if the end was nigh?

*Moves to remote cave in central Russia, takes own deck-chair*

Hey wait a minute, i just watched Meteor on Sunday & Sean Connery & a Russian chap blasted the Meteor with nukes & saved the world, so I'm sure they kept all the plans & stuff so they can just do it again in a few years. Who is this Bruce chap?

No he didn't; you're referring to Weapons for Meteor Destruction and they've been proven not to exist.

on the other hand this is a great excuse to tell the missus " darling im gonna get totally rat arsed now theres a big rock heading this way..cheers"

There's some pretty irritated people there at my work today that it got associated with this story. Basically, the kid was in a science competition, he won the round for his area (Potsdam I think) but came second (out of three) for the next regional level, Brandenburg - that's when the content was checked (probably some science teacher) and seen to be flimsy. He had a good 3D model, so he won a special prize for that. Anyhoo, so the media picked it up. But trying to encourage a kid who's interested in science, the Astrophysikalisches Institut Potsdam (AIP) had let him use one of the telescopes here to look at asteroids - they couldn't see Apophis as the right ascension was wrong for the time they were observing - they looked at some other asteroid. Unfortunately, as the AIP had done this for him, and someone from here had gone with him to the competition (no one here had checked the calculation though - it was a school project after all) the institute got associated with it, which lent some gravitas...

Anyway, yeah, the idea that satellites (the premise of his difference between his "calculation" and NASA's) could effect the course of the asteroid puts me in mind of a car's course being affected by some flies. Nevermind the fact the the flies were all the way over in the next county. Apparently Niko says that he can't show the results of his calculation as some virus has affected his computer and he can't print stuff or something.

So yeah, nice school project, good story...rather embarrassing for those people here being associated mind! The AIP is in damage-control.

dat's the story. Move along, move along, nothing to see here... =)

I say we burn down the kid's observatory so this kind of mistake can never happen again.

you all know that you'll be burned at the stake for the witchcraft topic anyways!

Everyone knows that the world is going to end on the 31st of December, 1999 at 23:59:59 and not in 2036...

"German schoolboy doesn't prove NASA wrong -- and admits he made a mistake" now that would be a story.

I think that it is generally time to go out and start burning things. What with that supposedly alien signal and a whole load of other stuff we have no control over.

how sad is that! a school boy is smarter than "experts"... sad.. so sad

I bet NASA infected his computer.

What? Clearly it's a conspiracy.

Could be, could be...they want us to live happily and merrily perhaps while they build their escape pod?

My Spanish friend across the hall keeps on getting phone calls from spanish newspapers about this. All she did was open the telescope building so that he could have his photo taken with a telescope.

Methinks the media are really scraping the bottom of the barrel with this one...

Guess my Y3K project won't get funding. F*ck it

click on this link to find the truth http://www.nasa.gov/home/hqnews/2008/apr/H...lculations.html

maybe the kid is using windows xp os which will no longer activate by 2014 and excel 97 and had not update from ms.

thats my favorite part.

Yeah, no shit! When I called the Pentagon that Bush's Iraq Plans were flawed in 2003 (I used Lotus), they hung up on me! The nerve! If only I were a nine year old German kid.

Did you actually read the thread?

Thats why shes a sillygoose crusoe.

just gives you more reason to live life kingsize...nothing else...