A thread for those things in life that could be better but would never be allowed as they are non PC.
1. Special indicator at traffic lights.
Surefire winner this one.
At the point your direction giving wife/girfriend says 'oh , not that left I meant male left' you have a special indicator on the car that indicates to the other drivers you've been given duff directions and you're allowed to cut across all three lanes unimpeded.
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Non-politically correct ideas for a better world
How to make the world a better place
2. SatNag
The current generation of satnav systems are clearly way too impersonal.
The SatNag would be programmed with your dearly beloved's voice to give you that fealing of comfort she's with you.
The device would be specially positioned somewhere on the back seat with no clear view in any direction. The optimal back seat driver position.
Programmed with state of the art hindsight the device would politlely remind you that 'the way you're going is clearly not the fastest' whenever if feels you may have made a mistake.
The parking sensor will tell you 'why did you park here, there's a far better spot over there' just after you've switched off the engine.
Whenever the petrol indicator shows that you've got less than three quarters of a tank the SatNag would polite ask you 'don't you want to stop and get fuel?' every time you drive within 4 miles of a petrol station.
When stopped at traffic lights for more than 20 seconds you'll be politely reminded to keep watching the lights and stop making eyes at the pretty blonde in the car next to you.
The system will automatically calculate the difference between the estimated time to get home and the time you said you'd be home. As soon as you look like being late you'll be reminded in a shrill voice 'you said you'd be home at' just to ensure you get home on time.
The current generation of satnav systems are clearly way too impersonal.
The SatNag would be programmed with your dearly beloved's voice to give you that fealing of comfort she's with you.
The device would be specially positioned somewhere on the back seat with no clear view in any direction. The optimal back seat driver position.
Programmed with state of the art hindsight the device would politlely remind you that 'the way you're going is clearly not the fastest' whenever if feels you may have made a mistake.
The parking sensor will tell you 'why did you park here, there's a far better spot over there' just after you've switched off the engine.
Whenever the petrol indicator shows that you've got less than three quarters of a tank the SatNag would polite ask you 'don't you want to stop and get fuel?' every time you drive within 4 miles of a petrol station.
When stopped at traffic lights for more than 20 seconds you'll be politely reminded to keep watching the lights and stop making eyes at the pretty blonde in the car next to you.
The system will automatically calculate the difference between the estimated time to get home and the time you said you'd be home. As soon as you look like being late you'll be reminded in a shrill voice 'you said you'd be home at' just to ensure you get home on time.
Pas, buddy, where did you and the family drive to this weekend? Sounds like you had a good trip. It is fairly normal for me to not want to get into a car with my wife (ever) after a road trip and having kids makes it even worse.
I now let the kid drive...
If you let SatNag drive does it do so while simultaneously putting makeup on and babbling away on the cellphone?
Ha! This reminds me so much of the many awful trips I took with a boyfriend who was incapable of reading road signs. Add to that the fact that I have trouble reading maps, and you can imagine the problems. Invariably, the turn would be blithely passed by the driver while I was staring perplexed at the map, trying to figure out how close the turn might be. The rest of the trip would be spent rowing over who's fault the inadvertent detour through Bulgaria was. SatNav or even SatNag might have saved that relationship.
I've got a SatNag I'm currently trying to sell off. Slighly damaged but fully functional. PM me if you're interested.
I am currently writing a book for women on how to clean up after yourselves when you have cooked something. This also contains advice on how not to use EVERY SINGLE FUCKING PIECE OF KITCHENWARE for your cooking project, which happens to only be a blackberry pie and bread.
Negerküsse and Mohrenköpfe should be called Negerküsse and Mohrenköpfe again.
However, another name should be sought for Hamburger.
It is discriminating the people living in Hamburg.
However, another name should be sought for Hamburger.
It is discriminating the people living in Hamburg.
abolish religon?! that unpc enough... but think about it. no crusades, no discrimination, no child sexual abuse etc etc
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