The American's guide to living in Germany

Can't you guys do any better than this?

As if speaking to one American (thirsty for a beer) is going to help you discover what it is to be American.


And you're on person 1 of about 300 million.


It's also visiting New York, Disneyworld or spending two months in a Winnebago driving through national parks


Let we forget that most Germans drink piss-standard lager.

oh here we go...


why is it that this is the standard american response (i.e. you haven't met us all) to any negative comment about Americans abroad, yet in general, these stereotypes persist?

why is it that if you leave a post without all the fine print (yes, there are great americans, but yes I've met alot like I've described, etc), then you will get attacked?

For an American to listen, it seems they can only listen to an absolutely bulletproof statement.

Thank god it's 5pm. Not another one of these arguments... Have a good night. Not all Americans are bad. It's the defensive ones that are a pain in the ass.

DEFENCE, DEFENCE, DEFENCE!

Oh drat, I thought my colleagues liked my Friday tiffs.

You've already used that one a bunch of times, bro. You need some new material.

I saw a posting on the internet by this British guy who didn't know how to spell sociology. I guess, well, all I'm trying to say is that Brits are stupid...

Lick my balls. I did listen and then I responded. This American has heard it all before (as I'm sure you have). Why you're bothered that on an internet forum visited by many Americans you might get one or two who are sick to death of arrogant Europeans bitching about our tourists is beyond me.

Hes a candian and he is an admitted troll, dont bother arguing with him it just goes in circles (cute routine, if you try to fight back you are 'defensive' which is bad, and he can just keep posting the same thing again and again).

Touche, my friend!

You forget that most Germans aren´t Bavarians ... and don´t drink Bavarian Dünnbier

Most Germans are not Bavarian. True that.
And the best beer in Europe is in either Belgium or The Czech Republic.

I thought I'd heard that scratched record before.

Yuch on the Belgian beer, but then it's all a matter of individual taste innit.

The Becks Warsteiner thing is the classic "damned if you do, damned if you don't" american abroad travel situation.

So, if you choose Becks, you're demonstrating that you have no taste by choosing a german beer commonly found in the US anyway. If you choose a Warsteiner, you're belittled for trying too hard.

The most american of all traits is being taught to give the local culture a whirl ... it's the Germans and British who invade to Ibiza and demand their Warsteiner or Watneys Red Barrel, respectively.

Wow gourmet food, doughnuts very er healthy and basic..LOSER

I once visited Kentucky...a great state,wonderful people so intelligent

If you want to test the locals' skills with things geographic in nature - ask a German how many states there are in the USA.

I repeatedly hear "52".

The 50 continental states, of course, plus Alaska and Hawaii...

Or maybe they are counting Puerto Rico and D.C.?

Mexico and Canada?

The best part is that to date the boneheads have always argued the point with me.

Ask an American tha same question and you frequently get 52 as well.

Is the UK an island? Really? I think you'll find that it is England that is the island! The UK is a continent!
Scotland is also an island!

The UK ISN'T an island, but rather the combination of an island (Great Britain) and part of another island (Northern Ireland).

Are you guys serious?

Listen, if some of you really live in Germany, than some of your statements may apply to where you are currently living. But please do not make ignorant statements that you can not use a Visa card in Germany. Most reputable stores will accept VISA/MASTERCARD. There are geldautomats (ATMS) everywhere, so if you have an American VISA/MASTERCARD or debit card, you CAN withdraw money. Deutsche Bank, Sparkasse, Commerz, so on...they all accept the cards. There is even Chase now in Germany, an "American"bank.

Anywhere you go in a foreign county, you are perceived as "weird" or "stupid" by the natives. In America, they laugh when they see a group of very light skinned Brits with the men wearing capri pants (usually only women wear them in the US) and Pumas, or the damn soccer jerseys, and the cheesy Florida shirts fumbling through tourist maps.

So you have to look at it from all angles. Its easy to poke fun at someone else, but remember, someone is always poking fun at you as well!

@eof. Keep up!
The UK isn't really a continent either!
Now Scotland! Thats another matter!

Edit... Oh! I see. You thought some people reading this really didn't know. And you wanted to inform them?

My point is, you never (or rarely) hear an American agree with a criticism about America. I make these silly "defense" comments because not once (except for a good friend here from Florida who finds America kinda scary now when he goes back) here have i heard an American say "true", then engage in a civilised discourse as to why people might have such opinions of Americans. It's always full guns blazing. These stereotypes that people have "Oh typical american... blah blah" is not because of what you say, it's how you say it that people find so annoying.

Anyway, it is however a waste of time to try to make you listen. You'll just find a reason to devalue me, and therefore not acknowledge anything i say. "Typically American..." ;p

Sure. As 90 watt weißwürst.
Bollocks of the day I would say.

Horseshoe7 "My point is, you never (or rarely) hear an American agree with a criticism about America. ..."

Word From The Wise... You really need to expand the number of Americans you need to meet. And not just those that are of Anglo-Saxon heritage.

Not only will I tell you everything 'wrong' with the US and Europe respectively, but I can also concur, ill-advised and uneducated people exist in both cultures ... unfortunately.

Nonsense. The harshest criticism I have ever heard about America came from Americans. Get out from under your rock. Actually read some of the stuff that's posted on this forum and you'll see plenty of Americans actively criticising the country.

If Americans disagree with your criticisms, perhaps it's simply because your particular viewpoint is incredibly skewed. People who have actually lived in the country are likely to take issue with your ill-informed opinions.

Did you ever think that:

"Stereotypes" and "Typically" also apply to how you "say it that people find so annoying".

I think people who live abroad become a lot more defensive of their home countries. So if you want to speak to an American happy to criticise the US, the best thing will be to speak to one who actually lives there.

@ian: When I was 12, I got a penfriend through an agency. The agency gave me some very good advice: " Do not try to make jokes. It is very difficult to convey humour in writing and will often lead to misunderstandings." Being German (and hence not having a sense of humour in the first place) the advice was easy for me to follow; but I'm thinking it might be something you want to consider too.

I think the real problem is that most people who've left their home country are just so damn tired of hearing nursery school-level stereotypes about their home country.

Where do I join the queue to kiss both of you?

fair enough, but in comparison, you hear the stereotypes about germans being boring (no humour), punctual, and organised, and well I've often been proven wrong, where I would say that's not really true. i haven't really been proved wrong with these "nursery school" stereotypes of mine about Americans, though I don't know that many americans too well, despite having mets tons however.

AND, thank you for the civil responses and beginning to prove me wrong. would these have been offered up had I mentioned nothing about it?

I do also apologize somewhat, it has just occurred to me that yes, one can be always on edge and defensive if one is having to constantly prove these stereotypes wrong.

Ha! For better or worse... you're right at the front

Horshoedude, I'm sure you think I'm just trying to devalue you, but weren't you the one who had only been to the States twice but came to the decision that it's a sick and depraved society after having watched COPS and Jerry Springer on TV? My apologies if I've confused you with someone else.

and you're not the american who takes one snippet of info, skews it way out of context, and repackages it in a way to make a person look like a non-credible source of infomation, are you?

because i never said my impression of americans comes from jerry springer and cops. i said something about cops but that was a joke and if you couldn't pick up on that well, don't know what to say.

My bad, all I know is that everyone else calls you a troll, a dumbass, and someone who seems to take great delight in dissing America with laundry lists of perceived faults. But I guess they're all just stereotyping you.

Funny that. The entire point of my posts, namely, as soon as you make a criticism of America, you get branded a troll (whatever that means), a dumbass, and whatever else, so that (despite any lack of official facts, statistics, or whatever) one doesn't have to think about the possibility of me having a valid point (or at least part of one). Instead you get all guns blazing.

Don't you see? The way that all played out was exactly what I indicated as stereotypes and I got barked at. So there was a stereotypical response to my statements of stereotypes. Perhaps I'm the only one chuckling right now.

happy lunch.

Ah yes. Congratulations. Getting smacked down for your baseless opinions definitely makes you look the cleverest among us. Your strategy is working perfectly. Go twirl your moustache and chuckle with pleasure.

Horshoe's classic trollery schtick:

1) Name ten things that prove America's a pile of shit
2) Claim that everyone reacts exactly the way he said they would
3) Shout DEFENCE! DEFENCE! DEFENCE!
4) Chuckle to smug dumbass self.

Yeah I been in Kentucky you pork chopper munching hay hauling bean eating sheep scuttling wierdos

YouTube: How kentucky rednecks have fun

Yup, All Americans are bad, stupid and dress like they just finished filming an 80s hair band video. Of course Europeans are far more cultured, have a more advanced sense of style and are the mental giants of our planet. We are so insignificant in the overall scheme of things why bother even talking about us? Why this persistent need to start topics about how horrible we are, to morph every topic into another "America is bad" thread? We suck, we know, we don't care... return your focus to yourselves and how great Europe is. We're jealous, we only wish in our wildest dreams we could be more like you - the perfect Europeans.

it seems to me that anti-Americanism is the last acceptable form of racism. People who consider themselves enlightened and liberal say things about Americans that should make all of us blush.

compare

I met an American who didn't even know the capital of Spain. God Americans stupid!
I met an Indian who didn't even know the capital of Spain. God Indians are stupid!

in my opinion both of those statements are unfair stereotypes, but I know I would get away with the first one and I could even probably rely on some support from fellow Ami-bashers.

As a Scot I think it's about time we grew up! This kind of thing goes unchallenged here in most of Europe.

Spain has a capital?? I thought we moved it America after we kicked their asses in WWII. Well if we didn't we should have, shitty little island!

Signed,
An Enlightened American

It's strange that I look to a topic for support for lost Americans and find a bunch of America bashing Brits? I love Britain, with all its flaws, but perhaps you could go to a more pertinent topic so lost Americans might actually find some help?

To answer Ian, yes I made that point about UK not being an island, as earlier posting seemed to imply that some people reckoned it was. Not that I could blame anyone for thinking as much. That whole area of terminology is complicated and nuanced (and we've had many threads on it before).

When I hear Europeans refer to stereotypes about a lack of US knowledge of European geography, I often quite how much a typical western European knows about US geography - or for that matter even about Eastern European geography. It works both ways.

The US has about 300 million people in it. The EU has about 500 million, and before recent enlargments was much closer to the US level.

That Western Europeans expect Americans to know the various capital cities and geographic composition of Western Europe, but most of them know sfa about US geography, is a product of nothing more than Europe's often intense diverse set of nationalisms, which tend to assign huge importance to geographic divisions because they often happen to represent nationalistic divisions.

That such geographic expectations are made of Europe/US by their residents, and not extended to basic geographic knowledge of China, South America etc. also says something.

How many Europeans can name more than 2/3 cities in China with its 1.2 billion people, or more than 3/4 cities in India with its 1 billion? And how many can name ANY states, let alone assign capitals to states?

I'm growing convinced that most Europeans who harp on America are just jealous. If they could only afford to have the problems that Americans have.

"Fat America?" Eat my Old European shorts.

I especially like the Burrito advice.

Dunno about China, India I can name a few cities and the US I can name most of the states if not all (except for the 51st and 52nd ) and quite a good number of the capital cities.

Hell I grew up in the states and I think my knowledge of european capitals is better than my memory of capitals in flyover country.