"Stuff White People Like"

Some white people decide to pull the ultimate move. Prius, Apple Sticker on the back, iPod rocking, and Democratic Candidate bumper sticker. Unstoppable!

There are a few ways you can use this to your advantage. If you are carpooling to an event or party you can always say “can we take your Prius? my car doesn’t get good mileage and I feel guilty driving it.� And bam! Free ride!

If you are in a situation where a white person produces an empty bottle, watch their actions. They will first say “where’s the recycling?� If you say “we don’t recycle,� prepare for some awkwardness. They will make a move to throw the bottle away, they will hesitate, and then ultimately throw the bottle away. But after they return look in their eyes. All they can see is the bottle lasting forever in a landfill, trapping small animals. It will eat at them for days, at this point you should say “I’m just kidding, the recycling is under the sink. Can you fish out that bottle?� And they will do it 100% of the time!