Somebody keeps stealing my food

Hey

I'm looking to write something along the lines of "who keeps stealing my _____, buy your own for goodness sake!" With my poor German I'd thought of something like "kauf dein eigenes" but not sure of the "keeps" bit. In case you're wondering, some charming person keeps pinching my food out the fridge!

Any help would be appreciated

So it WAS Colonel Mustard in the kitchen after all!

actions speak louder than words...put nails and razor blades in your food?

or laxatives!

ständig

Just put your name on it with a post it note.

YES! And it would be SO easy to find out which one is taking your food. And you're safe from any legal issues. You did, after all, put the laxative in YOUR food for YOUR consumption. Just tell them you were feeling a little "backed up" the last few days

I think notes are doomed to fail. Bring your fridgey stuff with an icepack in a thermos bag instead. (Assuming this is at work and not at home.)

For some fun reading: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

I can't resist trying...

How about "Der, der mein Lebensmittel ständig klaut, soll was selber einkaufen!"

Should probably ask a German here.

Google translates this to English as: He who steals my foods continuously, which will itself buy!

Kann derjenige, der ständig meine Lebensmittel klaut sich bitte in Zukunft selbst etwas kaufen.

Bitte nicht meine Sachen klauen, sondern selber einkaufen!

Thanks for all your help, said note now attached to fridge...

If this doesn’t work feel free to marinate your food in piss overnight and then leave this in the fridge.
Maybe you can think off some other bodily fluids you may want to add.

Kauf gefälligst dein eigenes Essen, sonst setzt's was!

A tiny little threat can't be wrong, can it? ´

@Gen - I just spent an hour pissing myself laughing at that link.

Yeah a good note is hard, too often you come off as a jerk yourself. *sigh* Even when your cause is just!

I've experienced this problem, in my own home no less (damn WGs). I found that notes did not work, and neither did direct confrontation with the person I knew was the thief. The theft continued unabated. I stopped short of making threats, although was sorely tempted to say 'the next time you take one of my vollkorn brötchen I'm going to break your face.'

The only solution? Hiding my food, squirrel-like, in places where it cannot be found. I'd take Gen's suggestion: skip the passive-aggressive notes and the threats of violence, and just keep your food where you can see it. Sucks but that's how it works. And at least you're not the douchebag who leaves a note. Nobody likes notes, except Germans.

And if you really want to go the squirrel route (could potentially be quite entertaining): Cunning squirrels make bogus burials


Take a couple of Rewe bags, stuff 'em with rotten banana peels, put 'em in the fridge, sit back and enjoy the fun.

The website reminds me of my time at Uni. I had to share a flat with 11 other people from 7 different countries... one shower, one kitchen and two fridges.
We use to write notes too... some were actually really funny! But these notes never worked! Milk was still stolen, toasts, fruits etc... etc...

The British know how to do things correctly. Happy anniversary!

Print this picture and tape it to the fridge:

A note is a great idea. Something along the line of

Whoever took the contents of my <description of veseel>, please be aware this was my biology experiment. I strongly recommend you go to your doctor and ask to be test for <horrible sounding bacteria> infection.

Obviously not if the dumbass told her neighbor all about her plan and got caught. Hell, she didn't even kill him. Just how did she "do things correctly"?

My food always went missing, and I found since I put the note "Finger weg!" with an angry smile and my name, everyone leaves my food alone now.

My food has never once gone missing which is just one of many, many pleasures of working in a small office.