Hello all.

I've decided that I am going to ask my partner to marry me ( I hope she says yes) but I have no idea how the system works in Germany.

I have been living in Hamburg for just over a year and so don't have a good enough grasp of the language to find out all the information I need to do this.

So I thought someone out there may be able to help.

My idea is to have the service in a registry office and then hire a boat and take a trip on the Alster with our guests.

The problems start with the first part the actual service. I imagine that the Rathaus must be able to do this as I know that back in the UK you can get married in a Town Hall. However if I can I would like to find a nicer not sooo public venue. Any suggestions are most welcome.

Also how do I go about getting the German equivalent of a marridge licence.

If anyone can help it would be great.

Friends of ours got married in the Standesamt in Volksdorf. We got married in the Standesamt in Wedel (thats just into Schleswig-Holstein).
This was back in 1989/1988 & both marriages still hold

Viel Spass with the paperwork...

A marriage in Germany is legal only if it is conducted in a registrar's ("Standesamt") office. Basically you have to do the legal part of it first, there is no getting away from that and after this you can have your (non-religious I assume) ceremony wherever you wish. I am only guessing here, but in such a large city such as Hamburg, there will be a local Standesamt in the area of Hamburg you live.

BTW - Good Luck! I had to ask mine 3 times...

Is your partner German or an expat as you are? Some friends of mine (a German and an American) are getting married tomorrow in Soenderborg, Denmark as the paperwork and everything is much simpler there than dealing with it here in Germany.

Hello again and thanks for the input so far.

My girlfriend is German and I'm from the UK. Do you think this will pose problems? Surely not.

Thanks for letting me know that it's called Standesamt.

I'll now see if I can find one.

Here are a few TT topics that might be useful for you:

Getting married at the Standesamt
Marriage and getting married in Germany
Getting married in Germany - the American way (still relevant even though you're from the UK)

I Googled and found this list of Standesämter in Hamburg where you can get married. The information is in German, though.

Good luck! Here's hoping she says yes!

Thats how is was with us. Lets keep the problems that combo may cause to the act of getting married
Sure will be asked to provide more documentation (& money) than if it were purely BRD-internal but at least you are EU...
In our case a very nice Standesbeamtin informed us of what we needed & what steps were necessary to have the marriage recognised in UK.

Since our wedding was just over 19 years ago any detailed info from me would be outdated...

Documentation for getting married in Germany can be a nightmare - depends on your past...

If you have both not been married before, it should go smoothly and not take up too long, if you (one or both) have been married before, it can be complicated.

Friends of us are getting married in two weeks, she is German and has been married before, he is Irish and has been married before twice - in Denmark. So all the paperworks, translations, apostille (certification) from three different courts (!!!) took up a very large amount of money, and it took them 1 1/2 years to complete all the paperwork.

Hope it will be easier for you.

If you do decide to get married in Denmark, be aware of the fact that your (future) wife cannot take your surname. For this you will have to have the marriage certificate certified in Denmark, then bring it with all the other documents to the Standesamt in Hamburg and apply for a "Familienbuch". If you want to marry soon and don't care about the different name, go to Denmark, it's really simple! It took us only a few weeks to complete all the documents, we sent them to Sonderburg and called them two weeks later. In the meantime they had checked the documents and told us they were OK. Then you just need to agree on a date with them, that's it. Easy peasy.
Here's the Homepage of Standesamt Sonderborg - their instructions are very clear, no officialese!

If you want to get married in Hamburg, your German partner might have to deal with the authorities. We did check with them first, they were not very helpful.
The opening times are a joke, almost not existing (at least for the Standesamt in Grindelhof, which is responsible for the area we live in), they were not willing to even try to speak slowly so that my English partner would understand a least some...
If Hamburg is your choice, go to your local Standesamt first, they will give you a list with what you need (it all depends on your past marital status, age, residence etc.) - this list is binding - for your AND for them, which is good. So if you deal with person A, and friends of you deal with person B in the same Standesamt, you might get a different list - it all depends on the person who is handling your "case". But if you keep the list thoroughly, they cannot ask later for something that was not on the list...

I can only hope for you, that you don't have to go to Standesamt Grindelhof!

A friend said to me: getting married in Germany to a UK citizen is the second big practical test for your relationship. The first is shopping at IKEA...

Thanks for the pointers.

Georgiagirl I did look for old posts about this before starting the thread but didn't see any so thanks for the links.

If I'm honest I'd prefer to stay here in Hamburg and get married as it would mean more to the both of us. The city has played quite a big part in our relationship and so I'd like to be able to celebrate that as well.

Keep the suggestions coming and I'll keep you posted as to how it is panning out.

Watch this space!

Hallo me again.

I just re-read the information that you have given me so far (as I'm now at home not at work) and I have a question.

Can I choose which Standesamt to go to and get married or do I have to use the one for the region I live in?

I live in Barmbek Sued so the local one is Standesamt Hamburg-Barmbek/Uhlenhorst but Bezirksamt Hamburg-Mitte Standesamt looks much better and with my bad german it looks as though they offer some sort of service on a Alster steamer, unless I have that comepletly wrong.

The link is here http://fhh.hamburg.de/stadt/Aktuell/bezirk...samt/start.html with mention of a boat towards the bottom.

There's lots of places where you can get married, e.g. the Planetarium, in Hagenbeck's Tierpark (in the Tropic Aquarium), etc.

Here's a list of all the special places.

And can I just add my personal twopence: if your partner is German, she might know the answer to many of your questions already, if not it will be easier for her to find info (in German) in the net. Maybe you pop the question and then explore the field together with her? She might appreciate that...

Agree - a verbal "letter of Intent" would make things easier

I agree with Hammonia, it could be a nightmare for a North American who was divorced previously. Mine took so long, the city of Cologne always came up with different requests, different translations etc., and in the meantime the person would go on vacation for 3 weeks and the other workers would not work on the case. the bottom line is, my guests arrived from Canada, and there was no marriage, we got married a month after the planned date all alone
in your case, UK and Germany should not be so complicated, just that you should plan ahead of time. Good luck

It makes me furius that the authorities in Germany make it so difficult for people to get married.

All these translations by certified translaters, and court certifications, all this hassle - I mean we are talking about documents in English ffs, not in Japanese with different characters...
It is such a big difference to Denmark, where you just need a copy of your original documents, with a stamp of the English authorities, that's it.
E.U.? Ludicrous.

Not ludicrous.
It is important that people marrying are not already married.
If the German system is ponderous, so be it.
Even in the UK there are comprehensive checks made
on people who wish to marry.
Bigamy is not desirable!

I don't think that Denmark is full of bigamists

@English Gent
I am not sure if you have answered already? Have you or your girlfriend been married before? If not, things will be a lot easier. They can be quite picky on translations etc but maybe not...I agree with previous posters, ask the question and then let your girlfriend handle the German authorities. If you are lucky (which can happen) all you need is your birth cert and a Certificates of No Impediment to Marriage.

As for where you can get married, you have to file with your local registry office first and they will then send the paper work on to the place you decide to get married in...pretty straight forward, of course they will charge at both locations but it may be worth it

We are an Australian couple who have been in Hamburg for about 3 months and needed to get married as defacto relationships - even those over 10 years and involving children - do not seem to count for anything here. So much for enlightened times.

We needed certificates of no impediment to marriage from our embassy, a search for each of us in Australia to prove we weren't married to anyone else as well as the usual passports, birth certificates and appropriate visas. This took about 3 months to achieve and would have taken an extra 6 months to do in Germany as it would then have to go through a court and lawyers and such. So we went to Denmark last week <http://www.visitribe.com/page5413.asp> and were able to get married in about 3 days. Yay!

Congratulations! Click to view attachment

@ English Gent So...have you asked her yet?

I'm an American and am living in Hamburg because I'm in love with a German man. We're planning on getting married this year. Since he started on his new project in December and must travel four days a week, I've taken it upon myself to do the legwork alone at my local town hall. (Normally, he would go with me.) I'm going on Thursday morning to the Bezirksamt in Wandsbek. (I discovered in an earlier experience that you get in faster if you are there 30 minutes early and pull a number before they open.) Care to join me or meet for coffee afterwards to get a copy of the list I get from them?

By the way, you just missed the Hochzeitsmesse last weekend. Matthias and I were there on Sunday and picked up lots of business cards for catering, wedding dresses, flowers, hair, make-up, DJs, etc. There's even a jeweler in Hamburg where you and your to-be-wife can take a class together and make wedding rings for each other.

And yes, you can get married on the Alster with the official ceremony performed by a Beamter / Beamterin. A classmate of mine did this a couple of years ago. They picked up the official at a certain place along the river, sailed out, performed the ceremony, and then had to drop the official off at the same exact place where they picked him up. The official is not allowed to accept any drinks or food and can't hang out with you afterwards because gratuities might be considered a bribe.

I've got my fingers crossed for you.

Hallo and thanks for the kind offer Half-Japanese.

Unfortunately I work in the week and so won't be able to meet up.

When you go to the Bezirksamt are you speaking English or German? I'd be interested to know.

I met up with a friend earlier in the week (who comes from Hamburg) and he (like Hammonia) suggested that I pop the question first and then we plan the actual day together.

I'm also going off the whole married on a Alsterdampfer idea as well after he pointed out that they are pretty small boats, old and can sometimes be quite grottty inside.

So time for a re-think. I was planning to pop the question then whisk her off her feet, having planned it all out. On reflection I can now see how that can be problematic.

Plus she really should be involved.

I just hope I can get a re-fund on the white 'An Officer and a Gentleman' style suit.

If you look anything like Richard Gere, take a photo before you take the suit back and post it here

Hallo me again,

So I have a new question.

I'm not expecting too many replies from the men out there, considering the majority of men are on auto pilot when out shopping, so this may be a question for the ladies.

Do you have any suggestions as to where I can go to get a ring. You know the ring for when I pop the question.

Danke.

I didn't have a ring handy when the question was popped as you put it (maybe that was why I had to ask 3 times).

We bought wedding rings together.

DONT DO IT GENT - look you're not even married yet and she has already got you shopping for her - DONT DO IT.

Hello all,

Here is an update.

I've got the ring and am planning to go down on one knee next Thursday, yes that is the 14th.

I'm also going to phone her father on Saturday to ask his permission. I've been practicing the line:

Ich möchte um Erlaubnis fragen, Deine Tochter zu heiraten.

I hope I've got it right.

More soon...

Good luck!

Forget that - unless you have a girl under 18 in your sights. She is the one who has to say "yes".
I didn't ask my girl's (now wife's) parents (but they were happy with idea & still are...)

let her phone them along lines of "Mama, Papa, diese Idiot hat endlich..."

I'm quite the traditionalist at heart so a getting permission from her Dad is a must.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

That'll be a yes then!

Got her Fathers blessing on Saturday and got down on one knee this morning.

I'll keep you updated as to how things go at the Standesamt.

Congratulations And happy planning!

Congratulations!!!

It's great you asked. Now you can get your German fiancée's help when you visit the Bezirksamt.

To answer your previous question: I spoke German when I visited the Bezirksamt. My fiancé was out of town, so I had to go alone and I will be going alone again when we finalize the registration.

Here's how the process has been going so far with getting married in Hamburg, Germany:

1. September 2007 - Matthias and I started talking about getting married. I converted my tourist visa to a one year student visa by signing up for an intensive German class at Colon Language School.
2. October 2007 - I went back to the U.S. to get a copy of my birth certificate, marriage certificate and divorce papers. I needed all three because I've been married once before. Most important: all documents must have an apostille on them. Without an apostille, the documents are only legal within the U.S. With an Apostile, the documents become legal internationally. Apostilles can only be obtained in the state where the document was issued originally. For me, this meant a visit to Jackson, Mississippi where I was born and a visit to Los Angeles, California where I married and divorced.
3. January 31, 2008 - I visited the local authorities office where I live, Bezirksamt Wandsbek, and went to the marriage office, Sprechzeiten zur Anmeldung der Eheschliesßung und Lebenspartnerschaften. I received a checklist with two columns labeled Fiancé (Verlobter) and Fiancée (Verlobte). She put X's in each spot where one of us needed a document in order to register for marriage. I brought all my documents with me and had her look at them so I could see what we already had. The documents that I still needed, we highlighted in yellow.

Click to view attachment

If your looking for a good photographer

SD PHOTOGRAPHY & GALLERY
B. L. Laschinsky & S. V. Damen
Tel: 04550 241 426 Hdy: 0151 184 792 66
Email: info@scarlettvdamen.com
www.sdp-foto.de

I posted a large review about our wedding photographer I'll find it and add it to this one ...
... ... ...
ok got it.
hope its helpful
Lida

I am reading a lot of post asking for help finding a photographer in Germany and I’d like to tell you about me experiences and recommend to you the photographers that did my wedding last year. There names are Bo L. Laschinsky and Scarlett V. Damen from SD Photography. There from Canada and have been living and working in Germany (near Hamburg) for 3 years now.

They are both commercial photographers who are offering the same high quality service to their private clients. They specialize in artistic nudes (including pregnancy& newborn) and weddings if asked they will also photograph families and kids. I had my bridal nudes, wedding and recently a nude pregnancy shoot and I’ll go again when the baby is here.

I used to think good photographers were old and stiff. When we were looking for a photographer for our wedding we met with tones of different so-called photographers. Some as walk-ins to their stores and some with sit down appointments. All in all I couldn’t believe how many of them had crappy portfolios most were ugly, dirty old plastic things. Others had no real portfolio to speak of. The majority didn’t have a studio and of the ones that did they were predominantly photo/camera shops with a small room in the back.

When we were recommended SD Photography ( SDP for short ) we were blown away at the level of professionalism, there studio is humongous and full of large beautiful framed examples of there work. Both Scarlett and Bo are in their late 20’s (28& 29 I think) and they are full of interesting and exciting ideas and willing to do whatever the client wants. (I guess that’s probably because of their commercial background – where the client is always right)

Bo and Scarlett are quite famous in Canada and getting there in Germany they are always doing photography shows, there’s a page on their website with the addresses and info about there current and upcoming in and out of studio, gallery and commercial shows (Artistic Nudes and Canada images)

They also offer completely different types of specialty shoots for the wedding couple such as their ‘Bride Shoot’, ‘Romantic Couples Shoot’, ‘Trash the Dress’ and my favourite the Groom shoot called ‘Pretty in Pink for Him’. Which my husband did at his bachelor party, he and his friends spent a portion of his bachelor party at SDP where his friends dresses him up in lingerie complete with veil and garter belt and did his makeup and even painted his finger nails. Bo and Scarlett photographed the whole thing and at the end did a photo shoot with him while his friends directed his poses. My husband gave me a book of the experience complete with his sexy shoot as his wedding gift to me. I was so thrilled, I had no idea he could look so pretty in pink!)

Ummm what else can I tell you… My advice to you when looking for a good photographer is don’t settle, don’t go for the best price, especially when hiring for your wedding its not something you can do again. In a few years you’ll look back and not be able to recall if it cost a little more or not but you’ll be happy your photos are so good.

Check out the photographers websites. Often photographers with nice ads have crap work on their sites so check them out. When looking at a portfolio ask to see an example of a full wedding. Its easy for any amateur to put together a few nice shots and call it a portfolio what you want to see are examples of a few full wedding so you know that the quality is consistent.

Also if you’re on a budget tell the photographers. I know with SDP they are always looking for wedding that they can use for advertising in their wedding pictorials in German magazines such as Wedding style, Hera, Braut & Hochzeit in Hamburg, or to use on there website. If you have a budget that is realistic and you do your research first. Make sure you know what you do and don’t want and how much what you Do want will cost you. I know Bo and Scarlett can be quite accommodating.

Their website is www.SDP-foto.de and www.scarlettdamen.com

SD PHOTOGRAPHY & GALLERY
B. L. Laschinsky & S. V. Damen
Tel: 04550 241 426 Hdy: 0151 184 792 66
Email: info@scarlettvdamen.com
www.sdp-foto.de

P.s. if you have more questions there is a Q&A Page on their site called Hochezeit Fragen in both German and English: Answers to the 22 most commonly asked questions on Wedding Photography

I know this was a little long but I hope you find it interesting and helpful.

Sincerely
Lida