Passenger impoliteness on the Munich U-Bahn

In my humble opinion, Munich has a wonderful public transport system. You’ve got U-Bahns, S-Bahns, Trams & Buses aplenty. It’s efficient, clean, relatively cheap and basically it gets the job done with little or no fuss. If only I could say something similar for the herds of muppets using it every day. Specifically I’m talking about the people on the U-Bahn and what happens when the train pulls into one of the busier stations like Hauptbahnhof, Karlsplatz or Marienplatz. I am trying to be fair about this and so I’ve grouped the different types of muppet together so that they are not all tarred with the same brush (or ultimately when the day of reckoning comes, beaten with the same bat!).

1. "Hebeldepp(in)"

This is the guy or girl who has a compulsion to be standing directly in front of the doors pressing the levers to open before the train has even pulled into the station. They seem to be terrified of two possibilities. One, that the train might leave the station again before they have a chance to get out or two, that God forbid someone might actually get out of the train before them. Quite often this person is also a „Rotwilddepp(in)“ but we’ll get to that later.

2. "Lachsdepp(in)"

This is a member of the group of people on the platform who seem to think it’s a good idea to attempt to get onto the train before the departing passengers have had a chance to get off. Again the fear seems to be that the train will pull away before they have a chance to get on. The doors open and suddenly there’s a semi-circle of people standing there blocking you from going in any direction except through a tiny gap in the centre. If you are trying to get off with bags or children then it’s a nightmare. Of course if you do happen to say anything to them along the lines Can you get out of the way please“, they’ll look at you blankly as if you’re the one causing the problem.

3. "Aktenkofferdepp(in)"

This is the person (usually a guy in a suit) who puts his briefcase onto the seat beside him and won’t move it out of the way unless you specifically ask him to do so, even if it’s patently obvious to all and sundry that there are no other free seats in the carriage. This is where I lapse into my most frequent rant which is „Why can’t people be even marginally aware of what’s going on around them and make allowances for the fact that there are other people on the planet too“.

4. "Rotwilddepp(in)"

Like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car these morons have a tendency to just stop directly in front of you. Usually they’ve just either stepped onto or off of the train and then they simply stop to have a look around, presumably before deciding which direction they need to go. Of course they are completely oblivious to the fact that there are people behind them trying to get past. This particular brand of muppet will also be often spotted at either end of an escalator doing exactly the same thing.

5. "Kontrolledepp(in)"

This one is reserved exclusively for the drivers. While they normally do their job properly and with some level of cop on, there are a few who seem to sit in their little compartments feeling like small Gods. They see someone sprinting down the stairs to get to the train and seem to go out of their way to close the doors just before the person makes it. The efficiency of the U-Bahn system will not break down by just hanging on for a couple of seconds.

I’m sure there are plenty of other U-Bahn-Deppen out there but these are the ones who offend me the most.

May their trains always be delayed and their Grüne-karten always be out of date!

End of Rant!

Incidentally, I just saw this product for sale. Worth a thought.

Anti-Deppen Spray

[img]http://www.anti-deppen-spray.de/pictures/ads.jpg[/img]

You forgot to mention the idiots who always try to cram themselves into the first or last carriage even though there are about 4 more inbetween. This often happens at Marienplatz, causing me to miss my train due to having to wade through them all.

Actually, I often stand right in front of the doors when coming into some of the stations - namely Innsbrucker Ring, because otherwise I invariably get a group of those "Rotwilddepp(in)" bastards right in front of me, and cannot get across the bridge in time to catch my other train to work. It's happened so many times that I now make sure I'm right at the front of the U-Bahn, by the door, before it stops at the station.

Just "nudge" them out of the way. I must admit it always makes my day if I have to do it on the way to work, but then I can be childish at times. A Dutch friend of ours did it with two large "Samsonite" type suitcases, so I think he gets an even higher score than me. I'm trying to think of something I can do to top it. Just standing there, looking at them as blankly as they look at you, do you think? It would be worth a go if you're not in a hurry. Hmm, I'm thinking we could turn this into some kind of sport. You know, x points per Treff, plus points for style. What do you think?

I'm with AM on the first lot though. Sometimes you have to get out pretty smartish, either to get another train, bus, whatever, or simply to avoid being trampled by the Lachsdeppen. Spud's "first carriage/last carriage" lot probably belong in the Hebeldeppen category.

No, the peopel in the first and last carriage are the lasy f*****g deppen who can't be bothered to walk the 5 steps to the next carriage...

To this I might add the broad brush category Old People.

Told German friends that in the UK it is generally young people who have bad attitudes to life and the old people have that wonderful atmosphere about them (hey they survived tougher times in 1939-45 than we will ever know, say no more). But in Germany my pet hate is all the Old People in Munich. They are generally bloody miserable. When my parents came to Munich in June all the young ones immediately got up from their seats for my 78 year old Dad. I was so impressed with the manners of the young people of Munich.

Contrast that to the miserable old buggers who get on the U Bahn who seeing you in the seat with the cross behind you (disabled and old people) seat and instead of politely asking, just grunt and nudge you to get out of the way so they can sit there. I am the first person to help anyone in need - I have helped more than one struggling mother with her pram down steps here in Munich - but I hate this lack of basic manners evident in these bitter old farts.

Rant over. Time for coffee and mapping the Bahn.

I agree that there should be a specific "überempfindliche/r alte/r depp/in" category.

the other day on my way to Hauptbahnhof, as I was leaving for my holiday, carrying 25kgs of luggage and a golf bag, I made the fatal mistake of slightly brushing the shoulder of an old lady with the front of my golf bag as I stepped onto the escalator. I of course, well-mannered young lad that I am, immediately professed my deepest regret at this horrendous incident with a loud "entschuldigung". you'd think that would be the end of it, my having respected the internationally accepted social convention "cause slight discomfort, apologise immediately and profusely if need be, be let off with no more than a cross stare on unfortunate victim's part" and all

but no, I had to suffer a barrage of "FRECHHEIT!! KATASTROFE!! UNVERSCHÄMTHEIT!!" insults. to which I replied "na was denn? i hab mi doch sofort entschuldigt?" but there was no stopping the rant. slightly annoyed at that point, I took my wet umbrella and shook it out over her head (ruining her perm and blue rinse) which triggered screams on her part for prompt police intervention and the addition of "SCHRECKLICHER MISTKERL!!" to the "FRECHHEIT!! KATASTROFE!! UNVERSCHÄMTHEIT!!" rant.

I'm sure I've said it before, but why on earth do old people get the train at busy times of the day? If I was not obliged to get rush hour trains, I bloody wouldn't.

Anyway, about using front/rear carriages on trains. On the U6 to Garching you actually have to plan your carriage to correspond with where the bus leaves the station from. My bus goes from just next to where the last carriage comes to rest, and if you are in the front carriage, hence having a 25 second walk to the other end of the platform, the bus will go. Alot, and I mean ALOT of the time, people burst from the train into the bus in a semi run. The driver normally starts up the engine the second he can see the train coming in the distance.

Of course, this does not happen if the bus driver decides he wants to smoke a cigarette, or sees someone he knows and wants a chin wag.

The bus drivers do that at Garching too huh? Must be a U6 thing cos the fuckers do it at Studentenstadt too. But why the bus timetable was designed so that the bus leaves as the U-Bahn pulls in forcing those unlucky passengers into a ten minute wait for the next bus is beyond me. Deppen.

i feel the need to vent a little as well. It picks up on the "miserable old gits" thread.

My first encounter with this particular sub-breed of the aged fraternity occured during my first summer in Toytown and has been repeated at various time since.

Preferring sometimes to ride my bike (no engine) into the center, rather than endure the Hell of the U-Bahn, I head for the Kaufinger Str/Marienplatz area. I realise this is a pedestrian area and in theory should be free of cyclists but upon entering "the zone", I reduce my speed to a crawl, take my feet off the pedals and coast along looking for a suitable spot to park.

It is then that these sad and twisted goobers pounce. I have now learnt to scan the crowd for them. Once they see you on your bike, you can see them change direction. They calculate their course with remarkable accuracy, heading towards you. Then from behind some unsuspecting foil they leap...directly in front of your bike.

Then the rant begins..."get off that bloody bike", "you could have killed me", "you're breaking the law", "you moron" and other assorted slanders. My usual response is to fix them with a blank stare and then shout "YOU SAD GIT". It generally gives me enough time to get away before being whacked with anything they happen to be carrying.

I mean how utterly miserable do you have to be to go out of your way to create a cause for conflict ?! I have witnesed the same happening to other unwitting cyclists. With one notable occassion when the poor girl was forced onto a main road into oncoming traffic by her assailant.

When will the insanity end ?!

Mark,

Thr correct Deutsch to use in this situation is:
"Sie können mich mal!" Which any German will gigglingly tell you, is short for "You can lick my arse."

Remember to use the polite form of Sie in this instance...

Jeremý (Zertifikat Deutsch)(befriedigend)

(i.e. satisfactory)!!!

Or just use the good old middle finger with a vicious bark of 'fuck you'.

No need to concern yourself with all that sie or du crap.

Don Riina (offensive bastard) (eurozone grade)

(i.e. satisfactory)

Just as an addendum to Don's post, I would warn that giving the finger or calling somebody something or cussin at somebody is a bit more serious than in America or Britain. That is of course not to say that I don't do it, but it has gotten me into some sticky situations. A few weeks ago, some dude beeped at me when I was crossing the road on foot and I gave him the finger. He and a mate jumped out of the car and surrounded me and we proceeded to have a shouting match (which I won ).

not to mention you can get fined €250. wasn't there a thread about that somewhere, sometime?

Get fined for giving the finger? I can believe Germany having such a stupid fine, but might be a tad hard to prove.

It's been mentioned elf. When I first arrived here last year I gave someone the finger on the autobahn and +1 almost had a heart attack and started ranting about the police and fines. I don't know what it is about flipping the bird that causes Germans to just come unglued.

General rule with giving the finger on the autobahn is to only di it when there are 2 of you in your car and only one person in the car you're giving the finger to. Then it's 2 against 1 if the police do get involved - mmmmwwwwwaaaahahahaha!

Now then,

i think that if you are going to live in a city (and most cities are crap places) then Munich is not bad to live in. It's got trees and beer gardens etc. Not bad.

even the public transport system is pretty good. I used to use the London Tube on my visits from my willage out in the sticks and always hated the crap Underground. I will defend Munich's U Bahn as it is very clean, punktlich and reasonable price,

However I can't say this about the daily bits of wood who sit next to me on the U Bahn. I am froma small village in Wales where we at least simply nod at each other to acknowledge each others existence even if we hate each other.

Here they don't even make eye contact even if you are sitting right opposite. Talk about wastes of human life. God I can't stand them. Even if you are sleeping with your head knocked ceilingwards and mouth wide open as I was this afternoon on the U1 - no fucking reaction.

Another couple of Old People sat opposite earlier on though. Fuck me they looked as if smiling was an effort.

Dieser Moan endet hier.

Ever notice that glass reflects stuff? Ever notice that Germans use the windows of the U/S bahns as a way to spy on people while in dark tunnels? Lots of fun to be had with that knowledge. You might even get away with flipping people off.

Another fun trick is to wear a watch that produces a reflection off the sun (like a magnifying glass) and shining it in people's faces. They make eye contact then by god!

Get the loudest set of headphones you can and listen to music, preferably with plenty of bass. People always give me eye contact. Normally a disapproving scowl, but better than nowt.

I have another to add:

Rolltreppendepp(in):

These are the people who hang around at the bottom (or top) of an escalator, waiting for the direction to change. Often, the stairs available next to them only have about 10 steps, but no, despite being in no way disabled, they stand there waiting for the thing to stop, and admonish anyone else who gets on while it's still going the opposite direction. Sometimes they press on the symbol, which indicates which direction it's going as if it was a button - in the process of which they inadvertantly step on the platform at the bottom of the escalator, that ensures it will keep going for a little bit longer.

Oh yes,.the reflecting glass of the U-Bahn windows...Some Germans are also often seen preening themselves for long periods of time. Bit of entertainment.

The most annoying thing for me is number (4) from the original posting. People who make a huge deal of rushing onto the U or S-Bahn, only to stop dead as soon as the get on.
As if to say "Well, I made it on, so that's the main thing. Who gives a rat's arse about the tossers behind me".

What is this? Every man for himself?? Where is the common courtesy and awareness that there just MIGHT be other people wanting to get on too??

This has been an hilarious discussion thread. Especially the bit about old people. I was raised by parents from the American south and can't help but immediately give the right-of-way to seniors, give up my seat, etc. But German seniors just astound me with the way they will actually push you out of the way and walk right over your feet if you're not spry enough.

I'm familiar with all the other issues as they seem to be common to cities where working folk have to exist with tourists and visitors.

By the way, I'm new here and new to Munich (beginning 1 November). 33 years old, American, moved from New York City to Hamburg to live with my German boyfriend. He just got a job in Munich, we just found an apartment there, and I'm certainly glad to have found a community of native English speakers.

Not sure yet how I feel about Munich. We only had two days to look around that was filled with apartment-hunting anxiety.

Anyway, you all seem like a good bunch.
::off to read more::

Tell us that if you still feel the same way after the initiation ritual.


I knew I was doing something wrong. Have I been too polite? Not grumpy enough?

I was sitting in a disabled seat engrossed in my book, when this woman shoves an ID card in form of my face. I though she was asking if I’d lost it, and just said “Nein�. Then she points to the disabled sign on my seat, and the ID again. It was a disabled identity card, and she wanted and was entitled to my seat.

I jumped up in horror and gave her my seat. Actually she didn’t look that disabled but I was mortified. Why didn’t the silly woman just politely ask for my seat. I normally don’t have to be asked volunteering my seat for the elderly, disabled, people with young children etc. I was just too deep in my book.

Anyway I looked like I’d refused to give a disabled seat to a bone fide disabled person, and was embarrassed as hell.

That happened to me once. I thought she was a ticket inspector and showed her my Isarcard. She wasn't impressed...

Just as another perspective, I can remember when I was on crutches with a twisted ankle. Whenever I got onto an U-Bahn or bus, people jumped up like a spike had just poked them from below, offering me their seat. My first guess would have been that they had been poked by a sharp spike, but I actually think they were being thoughtful and polite.

Was on the bus yesterday and an old couple got on. There was one free seat opposite me, but when I jumped up to offer them my seat as well (that spike is sharp) they wouldn't hear of it as there was another seat across the aisle and the woman would sit there, ta very much. Don't know about you, but I normally like to sit with the people I'm travelling with. I'll never understand ze Germans.

Talking of "ze Germans" reminds me - we picked up a "Snatch" DVD in Birmingham (50% off - win!). You know here, how you get German, English, any maybe one or two other languages? Ours has English and Hindu. Guess I'll never find out now how they dubbed the pikey into German.

Yeah, the old crabby people who have no other purpose than to find fault and complain get me too. The country seems to have a higher density of them than others I've visited..


ahhhhhhh... *lights cigarette to better enjoy the afterglow*

Don, to answer your question, why do old people... because they can!!
Opa says that it is an offence to make rude gestures or cause verbal insult, if a person reports you to the police, you will receive an "Anzeige". It's then up to the prosecuter whether to proceed or not. Did you know that if you drive through a big puddle that could have been avoided, the person drenched can take your number and you will be responsible for the dry cleaning costs? The rules go on and on!

So I'm on the U-Bahn this morning, as usual, going to Marienplatz to catch the S-Bahn over to Ostbahnhof.

We get to Marienplatz and the driver announces (translated to english for the sake of not having to write in fucking German) "Dear passengers, please note that there are no trains running between Ostbahnhof and Hauptbahnhof".

Nice one mate. Tell us now we're already at fucking Marienplatz, not while we were at Odeonsplatz, from where it is possible to get the U4/5 to either Ostbahnhof or Hauptbahnhof. ..

So I get back on the U-Bahn, go back up one stop to Odeonsplatz and make my way down to the U4/5 platform. I get there and there are about 200 people on the platform trying to force their way into the train.

In the train there are about 40 people crammed into the area behind each set of doors. People walking past the train can see that there is still plenty of space in the gangways between the seats. Probably enough space to fit another 25-30 passengers.

But do the moronic fuckers who are already in the train move to let more people in? Do they fuck. They just stand there like sheep, staring at the back of the head of the person in front of them.

Even the cunts who are stood in the area near the gangways, for whom it should be patently obvious that there is more space, refuse to move. And then they all get pissed off and start uttering the oft-heard phrases "frechheit!" and "unverschämtheit!" when someone tries to get through to the available space.

And rather than realising that the train is fucking full, the driver just waits for 15 minutes letting people shove their way in, before closing the doors and driving to the next stop.

Anyway, I finally managed to get over to Ostbahnhof, where I would normally catch a bus. But guess what? It's the same story getting on the fucking bus too!!

The office is only 10 minutes away by foot, so I thought fuck it, I'll just walk. This, I would think, is a normal reaction to such a situation. But no, everyone else just tries to force their way onto the already packed out bus... For fuck's sake, people! Just fucking walk instead!

Fucking morons, the lot of them. Seriously, I reckon they must have their common sense surgically removed at birth. I wonder what they do with it? They certainly don't give it to the fucking train drivers...

Rant over. Time for a coffee.

Hiya,
the trains were off because someone fell/jumped under the S-Bahn at Hauptbahnof (platform 1) at about 8:40am - I didn't see them jump/fall but the S-Bahn platforms were evacuated about 5mins later, there were also quite a few trains stuck in tunnels. The Notärzte with their heavy equipment (cutting gear) were going in as we were coming out.
I remember once being on the platform in Slough about one metre away from someone who jumped and I have never heard a worse sound that the noise that made *shudder*. I hate that word "Personenschaden", it is the worst German word I know.
I feel sorry for the train drivers
Apparently the situation at Ostbahnhof (overcrowding and not stopping the escalators going into the U-Bahn station) was very dangerous as well.
S-Bahn problems are not announced in the U-Bahn as the two transport systems are run by different entities: S-Bahn is DB, U-Bahn is MVV. This doesn't make it better but could explain why it is.
Cheers
Katrina

And to add insult to injury, there was a probelm with the points at Max Weber Platz which snarled up the U4 and U5.

Well, I was at Marienplatz at 8AM, and the trains were not running then. I had got up early to get to the office early, and then leave early, so I was not going to play merry go round on the damn U4. I shared a cab with some lady, and was only €5 to Leuchtenbergring. But I was seething that it was not announced at Odeonsplatz. Yeah, yeah, U Bahn ans S Bahn are different entities, but IMO that is no excuse, different entities they may be, but they are one under MVV muenchen as far as I am concerned.

Hello all, I just browsed through some topics on this board and I can't stop smiling...

Whenever I criticize things about Munich, no one believes me. But most posts on this board are proof that I'm not nuts. Next time I relate them to this board.

I came to Munich, saw and moved away. ;-)

A lot of people I met in Munich were very... "kleinkariert". This alone is no problem for me, but when it is accompanied by the habit of not being able to state clearly what they want, I lose all patience.

As for the Personenschäden:
Often, when it's a suicide, nothing is announced. Between October and end of December the suicide rate in Munich (also here in Berlin) is rising. But they won't put the statistics out in the open.

As for impoliteness:
You are absolutely right.

As for fashion:
You should wear the right things.

I wanted to write more, but I'm too lazy. Also I'm German and don't belong to the 'native English speaking crowd', but I couldn't resist posting anyway. Good Board!

Best wishes,
Genau! ;-)

yeah, i hear the suicide rates are much higher, but it is an unwritten rule for journalists/publishers not to report any suicides so as to prevent copy-cats.

i was in the ICE once when there was "personschaden". the train stopped pretty f*cking quick and i swear i saw a severed hand on the tracks. i know i saw pieces of clothing. the sad thing is the people in the train just started complaining. sure we sat there for an hour, but we got free drinks and a lot of apologies, but a lot of people just complained to the bahn afterwards.

Genau! must be the best user name I've seen in ages.

i'm sure he/she read the "genau" post. very witty indeed.

Yes, 'he' read the 'genau' posts.

And I found them to be very funny. If you look at it from another angle, then you will realize that the 'genau'-phenomenon is exactly (=genau) what is the problem in JourneyMe:

The fear of making mistakes.

You have to 'genau' follow the rules.

You're expected to behave 'genau' as the others (e.g. dress).

We meet 'genau' at x:xx p.m.

Everybody else should think 'genau' as I do.

Or else...

To write something on-topic:

Standing like sheep and staring at the back of the head of the person in front...well... see it as an old German form of meditation. It's a reactive mode. Maybe it even leads to enlightment.

Best,
Genau!

Talking of people standing and staring?

What is the attraction of standing and staring at the building works at the back of the Ratthaus??

P

Talking of people stopping and staring...

What is it with people stopping at the foot of my garden for 5 minutes and disecting the layout of my lawn, the plants on the patio - and if they're really lucky the view of the interior of the house !!

They don't even attempt to look embarrassed when you catch them doing it either - don't know if I'm the attraction, but I might have to start charging by the minute !!!

Must be a German thing again !!

Oh well, enough of that - holiday time is starting - so driving up to Normandy tomorrow morning so will be away for a week !!

Enjoy TT !!

dear Genau

concerning your post "You're expected to behave 'genau' as the others (e.g. dress)."

I would say "Genau!"

thank you for, as a native, confirming my post on another thread

best
J

Bumpetty Bump!

It's the vicious old bags definitely. I have seen them SPRINT down the platform, use their stick as a WEAPON to literally HACK their way through a crowd and the minute their on the trains they play all frail and start waving their Ausweis to prove they hvae a claim on a seat.

You have to use certain doors to cut your connection times.
Coming from mine to Hauptbahnhof on U1/U2 you'd certainly miss the next U4/U5 if you got on at the wrong end of the train.

Impolite is not the word. Typical f'king inconsiderate self-centred german monkey decided to jump under the s-bahn at Laim this morning.. making myself an alot of other passengers miss their flights..

Respect to the dead and all that, but... %$&$&§$%!

Gee, that's not funny.

I was stuck at Hauptbahnhof on the S7 just as that happened. I was really late for work this morning. Totally inconsiderate fool, could he not wait until midday or something !

I am guessing this won't make it to the newspapers ... such sensorship it's ridiculous.

There are apparently quite a few people jumping under S-Bahns and U-Bahns, and it's never in the paper. There was a previous thread about this.

The censorship is bad here, so nobody ever really knows fully what's going on. Although in the UK its completely the otherway around, they make a few things up and throw it in the newspapers !

The sight of half a corpse being carried on a stretcher down the track kinda put me off my breakfast too...

Some people just don't think do they!