Nominees for TT post and topic of the year 2008

pfew. you had me worried. I thought they'd found out where i buried my wife's body.

If a man speaks in a Siberian forest and no woman is there to hear him, would he still be wrong?

There is only one explanation: a false-flag Apollo landing missile cover-up executed by reptilian shape-shifters under the control of the NWO/Bilderbergers working for the Rothchild/Illuminati/Freemasons to corner the world's mutilated cattle along the North American Superhighway. It fell at the speed of gravity, Zionists, Oklahoma City, 7/7! Bigfoot.

Read between the lines people!

Classic? That is just random nonsense that most people haven't got a clue about.

And this differs from the majority of TT postings in which way ?

I couldn't care less what she does with her husband, she can dress him up like a pony, stuff carrots up his ass and ride him around the bedroom for all I care as long as it doesn't impact her ability to the job she is elected to do.

Frankly I never use the term. I find it pretentious.

Then why is your user name ecks patz, sure sounds like expat to me

but if we're going to get off-track I reckon it should at least include hot pics of women, in keeping with true TT style. Hell, it might even be in the TT usage guidelines somewhere.

Between all the different topics related to the smoking and/or the smoking ban in Germany, why do smokers come across as complete asses? Have you guys been here too long, bit of the rudeness rubbing off on you? Did you come to Germany as the last haven for pro-smokers? You guys are in denial and so self centered its unbelievable. I would guess most of you don't have kids in order to have such a selfish attitude in regards to the affect your addiction has on others.

My middle name is stubborn. Well the third one. After ignorant and stupid but before twat.

If a German girl smiles at you, you should immediately propose there and then. It doesn't happen very often so you should strike while the iron is hot.

I knew that he would somehow make money out of that!!! Why bother to study when all it takes is to trash a whole street and become famous!! Anyone interested in joining me tonight ? Was thinking of creating chaos on Leopoldstr!

Mr grandfather helped smash the shit out of Leopoldstr. and he never became famous or made any serious cash as a result, so I'd recommend that you don't bother.

they should tell passangers to bring their own towels to put on the seats.

They're Germans, that's the seat reservation system!

I'm naked, smoking somebody elses cowpats in a bath full of Argentinian beef, the windows are on full, the boiler's running on red diesel, I burnt a pub down with somebody elses fag, the kids are smoking crack through the Wii nunchucks, the granny's eating her tights with the wrong spoon, the dog's got the remote, I deleted the wifes goatporn with a loofah and I paid me TV licence fee.

Now that's off me chest, which way to the supermarket for some peanut butter?

Mine got a bit humpy when she discovered after about 10 years that the in-laws were referred to as "Adolf and Eva" over on my side.

of course gay men are more kinky than heteros. Thats because men are naturally curious. If men had fannys they would spend all day trying to see what the biggest possible thing they could fit into it would be so they could boast about it down the pub. It would become competitive. Gay couples have this curiosity twofold, so Im sure it leads to all kinds of creative scenarios. Us heteros have to put up with a lifetime of slapped wrists and " Dont you think for one minute Im putting THAT in THERE!!!"

I'm still very unclear as to why anyone would feel the urge to read the forums on their mobile phone in the first place.

So they can post whilst they're driving

You must wait until after Psycho Grandma's evening constitutional. You may however place the bags in an orderly pile before Mr. Halb-Besoffen walks his terrier.

How about this:

I'm a liberal twat, who's just as big a twat as a Republican twat, but I live overseas so I think I know more about the world than people in America. I've taken the bold, controversial stand that war is a bad thing and that paying for it is also stupid. I also think that Bush is a bad president and god didn't create the world, but being a backward, red-state person, I couldn't possibly discuss this with you intelligently and respectfully without getting so impatient with your stupidity that my liberal blood would boil with the frustration that someone can't see the world the way that I do. So, please don't send me any e-mails.

All I am saying is when arguing an issue its intellectually dishonest to just arbitrarily re-define english words because they work better in a slogan that appeals to pathos.

(...) I come from Canada, where we don't have a culture, so I wasn't born with this point of view I present here.

For a "special" cleaning involving much plaque removal and some gum care, and which took over an hour I pad less than €120 so yes, this is excessive. Unless you're British, in which case your bill should be either €20 to look at your empty gums or €1500 per saved tooth.

woof.

we are travelling to switzerland for this easter holidays.for four days. I have 20mnth old baby. pls suggest me what i must take especially for kids other than... mosisturing cream... Do i need to carry food for my baby? What winter cloths cld be used?

Wouldn't go if I were you. Switzerland is a highly dangerous place for kids especially those using mosisturing cream. Cancel everything at once and play with rabbits in Germany - safer! And remember, mobile phones are forbidden in Switzerland.

I agree with Garibaldi, I was once there as a child and it still has an effect on me today, I would be cautious with rabbits, unless copiously moisturised.

...If you're in a house where a bunch of microscopic spiders are ballooning around, you MIGHT accidentally inhale about a dozen one night, IF the air were circulating sufficiently for them to get airborne and stay there long enough to drift in front of your face. The odds of such a thing are obviously quite small, but it surely happens to someone somewhere from time to time, and that will boost the average--but not enough that I would believe that the AVERAGE person inhales the contents of one egg sac in their lifetime...The majority of people probably never swallow ANY spiders in their sleep, so the statistic will be composed of a fair number of people (still a tiny minority) that swallow one or two by accident, plus a vanishingly tiny handful of people who swallow a large number, due to a freak occurrence as above."
The majority people will never eat a spider. A tiny minority may accidently inhale microscopic spiders (or even have a grown spider fall into their mouth) in extremely rare circumstances. That's not quite the same as "People unknowingly eat spiders while they are sleeping. Fact."

Smoking is actually a very esoteric pastime. On our planet, only humans have a special relationship with fire. Only humans find an open fire comforting, mesmerising, romantic. Only humans can create fire at the flick of a wheel or match and this very personal relationship has been taken still further by the smokers.

In an attempt to personify fire, to ritualise it, the ancients came upon the idea of breathing fire by using pipes or rolled up tubes containing burnable leaves. How much closer can one get to fire, without actually combusting, than by breathing in smoke? And what for smoke has been inhaled. What herbs have been included to induce deep religious like trances, prophesies and fits of giggles. Oh ye non-smokers of so little faith. Ye heathens, ye heretics who seeketh to slay the shaman. Shame on you. You who clamour to remove the holy stench of stale smoke so your odoriferous body brine may choke all. Fie say I.

Well I have the deal of the century then. Sex once a month and I get free room and board and nice holidays.

ff

Genie, in these circustances no law will ever ever confirm his guilt. Accidents happen. Circustances lead from one thing to another. Alone they would be just "Ha Ha Whoops". Together they lead to a fatality. It can go the other way round and you light a candle every day in thanks for it. If you never been involved in a serious accident then it's difficult to show compassion.

Believe me this guy will be living his hell groundhog day for the rest of his life. He'll wish it was him who fell, he'll wish he checked everything 5,000,000 times, he'll even dream it all worked out well and he caught her when she fell. He'll never sleep agian without it being his first thought in the morning and last at night. And when he wakes up in the darkness jolted awake by the pang of irrational instinctive intense emotion knifing into his stomach, he'll sit in the darkness and live those moments again, and again, and again, and again.

I'm not religious but we should show humanity about this.

Women above a certain age shouldn't wear white wedding dresses. It looks absurd.

Not true. All kitchen appliances come in white, regardless of age.

We are having some problems with our toilet (...) I am not sure if this qualifies under normal wear and rear

TT in standard super-helpful, of-course-we're-not-being-sarcastic mode.

American looking for skiing advice from Munich

Police: Where did you obtain the drugs from

Quest (shouting): I BOUGHT THEM OFF A CONTACT IN THE FIRST CLASS BRITISH AIRWAYS LOUNGE AT JFK

I got a visual image of him trying to buy drugs whilst shouting in that annoying style of his:

Drug dealer in dark corner: Psst, wanna buy some meth?
RQ: I'D LOVE SOME. HOW MUCH WOULD YOU BE CHARGING FOR THAT AND CAN I PAY WITH MY GOLD AMERICAN EXPRESS CARD. OY, WHERE DID HE GO?

It's a bloody surprise he even managed to buy some with his continuous shouting...

Somehow the place just doesn't seem the same without Sin around. He was so ... well ... in some ways, almost like a human. Hmmm ... do you think he might come back if we leave a saucer of Marmite out on the doorstep for him?

Cendaf, I reiterate what I postulated yesterday: what a chundering load of bollox. Or rather; a bollocking load of chunder.

Or in words that even someone who cannot master the intricacies of the English language, let alone capitalisation, may understand: you silly billy; you are giving Republicans an even worse name than they already have. You'd vote for a haemorrhoid ridden syphilitic elephant dressed in toga and dancing the fandango with the castanets painfully shoved up its backside, so long as it wasn't a democrat.

is an imperial knob greater than a metric one