Nominees for TT post and topic of the year 2008

Coward and suker! ... Sometimes I thought I should just ignore you like ignore the stupid fly buzz, but now if I had a insecticide, I would have no hestitance to press the button at you this disgusting spider, which one can not distinguish where is the head and where is the ass.
You have two passports, one names coward and another names non-cultivation. Both of them define you.

Danger, Danger. Creationism, or more specifically, Intelligent Design is not a theory in the scientific sense of the word. It is a hypothesis. Since it is untestable and unfalsifiable, it will forevermore remain just that...

One of the biggest wedges these people use is the English Language itself, where the word theory can mean either "verified and tested" or "something I thought up in a bar and wrote on a napkin". Evolution is the former, Intelligent Design is the latter, and they use the fact that most people don't know the difference to try to argue they are equal.

In summary though: yes there is a place for creationism is society. That place is church. There is no place for creationism is science. Intelligent Design is not science. Firing a science teacher for teaching ID infringes on "Academic Freedom" about as much as firing an English teacher who can't speak English.

One of my favorite destinations (although I always walked, never used the gondola).
Sensational view across Walchensee.
11.50 Euro round trip

http://herzogstand.kochel.de/index.php?id=0,114
http://www.berggasthaus-herzogstand.de (serve really good food)

Easy hikes once you'll rech the top.

Look what I found on the Telegraph:

"Austrian Dungeon children speak their own animal language"

Rumour has it that it sounds a bit like cockney.

You can buy meals from a drugstore? What is a 'bottle of drink'? Isn't a 'drink' a noun that can stand on its own without the help of a bottle? What sort of awards do sandwiches win? How can ordering a Subway sandwich be 'stressful'? Who actually eats those disgusting prepackaged, overpriced sandwiches from Aldi / Rewe? How do brownies become world famous, and if they are world famous why have I not heard of them? Why not just prepare your own sandwich at home and bring it to work with you? What the hell is 'suisi'? Who invented liquid soap and why?

So many questions...

I think that true experts are able to simply suck the sausage out of its skin - unfortunately I have only ever had the chance to observe men doing this.

I was told that gays are very welcome in the church, as long as they are not practising gays.

Seriously, WTF?!? You just cannot reason with that sort of bollocks. It is just utterly irrational. The only retort I could come up with at the time was the crappy weak play on words that all my gay mates were fine then, because they were all already experts.

My eyes are pierced and blinded by the razor sharpness of your argument.

Honestly, it's mostly just a bore to wade through the Miss Polly Proper arguments about who should do/think/feel this/that/the other. At least when I am being sanctimonious I am also trying to entertain myself, if not others, rather than simply masturbating to the dull sound of my own politically correct kumbaya hugspeak.

Heh? I didn't say that. I said that I think that both Clinton and Obuma would lose in a general election, but that the latter would get completely blown out. As I said, I've got $100 on McCain winning the popular vote by at least 5%.

I'll take that bet!

Good. I accept Paypal.

i don't like the german pillow.

Oh god I love the pillows.

Pluto,

I don't know how proficient you are in the black arts, but you know jack shit about Internet and forums. If you think someone will fall for that testimony by "marannean", a user who wrote his/her first - and so far, last - post 12 minutes after joining TT just to praise you, think again.

P.S.: If you need brains to think, you can borrow mine. I can keep myself busy until you return it, with some brainless activity like sticking pins into dolls.

Fuck right off back to the place you couldn't change. And get me some Pot Noodles while you're at it. Wankers. Grow some fucking backbone. We all have to "first-post" sometime, stop fucking whinging about "oooh, I might get shot down, they're all so nasty". Oh? Well you might have to think long and hard about not posting some incredibly stupid webscrament as your first post, or passing opinion on the site's culture after 3 posts and a months lurking - you buckle up and thicken yer skin and take the inevitable blows, we all had to do it at some stage. Or pick and choose your first topic with something resembling a modicum of intelligence

If you can cook, Don, all the better.

I have a theory that frustrated people who get arsey for no reason are not getting enough how's-your-father. When someone gets all blob a dob with me (internet or supermarket) I comfort myself with the thought that I can have an orgasm later. I truly believe that if there was more humping in the world, folk wouldn't be so inclined to get narked. Orgasms are wonderful things. Why spend time getting riled, when you could be having one?

Okay, so I'm digressing. I shall bugger off and have a lovely weekend. I'll catch you lot when I've replenished my lurv hormones.

I suggest you ask your neighbours how things work where you live. We did and it was a real help. Knowing things like what is generally considered good manners and what not can really help you along. In our village for instance people do not mow the lawn on Sundays. OK if you know that and want to fit in a bit you mow on other days. In some villages even hanging your laundry out on a Sunday can be offensive. Here it isnt but it was appreciated that we asked. The way I see it, people have a lovely village with traditions and suddenly these foreigners arrive. If they make a bit of an effort to adapt then everyone is happy.
Also I would suggest they try to join in. There is a big difference between city life and country life of course. In many villages they have what is called Nachbarschaft. Literally translated this means Neighbourhood. The idea stems from old times when people had little money and few social safetynets. The nachbarschaft is usually a small group of houses (about 15). Traditionally they helped out at weddings, funerals with sickness, but also on the farms. But they also celebrate occasions together. What is quite funny is that everyone just leads his own life but the nachbarschaft is there for backup.

When my husband had to go to Australia to visit his sick father I had a problem because he works parttime and minds the children on days I work. No problem, everyone was there to pick up the kids and babysit so I could keep working. Our direct neighbour is a farmer and when he has to move his herd from one field to the next, again the nachbarschaft will all come and help. One of the girls in our Nachbarschaft is having trouble at school with her English so I help her. No money exchanges hands for these things. During the recent milk strike our Neighbour provided everyone with milk from his cows. Again no money changes hands.

Besides that they get together to make decorations for wedding anniversaries, they have parties at birthdays (optional if you dont want to celebrate yours no problem) and they might get together for new years drinks, a summer barbeque etc.

You always have a choice if you want to be part of the nachbarschaft. But in my opinion it is definitely worth doing so. Our neighbour was brilliant when we first came here. She went with us to organise all the paperwork (insurances, counsil register, car registration, child allowance etc). And even now when we have to do something official she will call around for us, find out what it is we need to do. She really is a Godsend

I've always been a fan of nude gardening. Little to wash afterwards

So the rumours are true then???

To the outside observer it looks a lot more like fragile egos, wannabe bigshots, childish tantrums and generally unwelcoming antisocial behaviour. No doubt you're all great buddies in reality but to someone who's just looking in it certainly doesn't come across as appealing in any way, shape or form.

But then I don't have kids of my own so am probably not entitled to comment.

I was often sitting in London pups wishing Germany would be a little more like that.

I cannot abide by beggars. Sorry, fuck off. Life is not fucking easy for anyone, and if they think I'm gonna give them some of my hard earned money for cheap booze (food my arse) then frankly, they deserve a kicking for being rude arseholes. Sorry, but I already get 50% of my earnings nicked by the shitty socialist government here - want some cash? go ask them.

when is the english garden open for seeing the free titties? do i need a ticket? must i hide behind the bushes like at home, and can i take photos of the titties like that keydeck bloke i heard about?

would be just like re-arranging chairs on the Titanic...

This surely qualifies for "post of the year".

It doesn't take a nutter.
It just takes a nasty bitter German xenophobic racist.

Yah M.T. i will back you up there matey

i am so flustered, by how many jerks sit on here and wait for the chance to attempt to belittle, humiliate, and defile people...

Well technically I am sure there are many people who would like to defile, or violate the chastity of others on here...

What is Eurovo? I believe the word you're looking for is "who". The name is "Eurovol". The answer is "An annoying cunt with a hot wife who occasionally manages to say something of value". Hell, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Hi_chris...
As long as you have your head shoved so far up your arse, you will always have neck problems!!

... kids should be made aware about same-sex relationships and then we wouldn't have a problem of homophobia.

It could also be argued that with same sex relationships we wouldn't have a problem of kids either...

Typing with a lisp is cliche reinforcement of the worst kind.

The mosquitoes around Griesheim are unbelievably huge. They look like they could drain a small dog dry in a few seconds. I make my kids wear heavy boots to prevent them, being carried off by these gargantuan mozzies. Last night I splattered one that was guzzling on my arm and about a litre of blood (my blood!) exploed over me like a scene from The Evil Dead.

What's worse is that all the noisy, whiny ones have been killed off and squashed over the years, leaving just the quiet, sneaky ones. You don't hear them because they walk into the bedroom rather than fly - so no whine. Then they clamber up the bed clothes using small ropes and pitons. It's true! I found one the other day wearing 3 pairs of tiny gym shoes so that he could tiptoe more quietly.

And they're getting clever and more organised. The kids asked me for a drink and I went to the cupboard and found all the straws were missing. After searching through the house, we found a tiny straw pipeline leading from my bed, out the window and across to the neighbour's garden with a little sign up saying "Blood - 1.55 Euro per litre"

Bloody mozzies!

I'd like to start a cooking show/web business and that being said, I'll be using the kitchen and my bedroom

Everyone knows that in Germany you can't just break up with someone on the spot. Depending on the type of relationship it is, you either need to either give 3 months notice to the end of the quarter, or 6 weeks prior to the anniversary of when you first met...And it has to be done in writing.

Hi, I am new in Germany. I am so happy to find a English forum here. You should see the tears in my eyes. I hope to make some new English speaking friends while I am here for the next 3 years. Maybe I will also take up parachuting. Hope to meet some of you chaps on one of the Thursday nights! Cheers!

!?!?!? Eh? Do what? Kids are the CAUSE of boredom, from the missus harping on about the fascinating things that happened to the baby that day (he smiled/ made a cite noise etc) to the kids harping on about the mind-numbing contents of their day at school, or going through the "why" phase, or yabbering on about who is currently snogging who at high school etc. Then there is the related peripheral boredom of having to go shopping with them to buy a stupid fucking ugly box shaped rucksack for their first day in krout school, or spending one of your nights off work sitting in a boring classroom, listening to some boring jerk go on about what grades your kid has got, yawn yawn yawn. The only time kids are fun is if they grow up to become capable of doing some decent stand up comedy.

Nah. I don't see myself turning out like the old folks I see - when I'm old (if I get there), I don't wanna be sat about existing for nothing other than the bloody kids or grandchildren - I want to sell illegal narcotics on the streets, because the coppers are NEVER going to suspect some old git with a walking frame. Genius. That's my pension sorted.

Nail, hammer. People totally rationalize it. In the same way ex-pats are less likely to say how utterly shit a country is, and what a terrible fucking choice is was to move there. Saying negative stuff about your own kids makes people look on you in a very bad way. How can you not think your kids are the greatest thing ever! You must be evil! Aaaaarrrgggh!

Anyway, to answer the original question - are couples without kids happier? I'd say, on the whole, no. Blokes are almost certainly happier without kids I reckon, but women normally want them. So, as a couple, if the woman wants kids, she's going to make the bloke's life hell until he agrees to have kids, then his life is hell anyway, because he had kids. If in a couple BOTH people don't want kids, they'll be totally happy I reckon. Richer certainly, and anyone who thinks money does not buy happiness is utterly insane.

...I wasn't able to take part in the second day, which would have been the day after the first.

Mine used to smell of cheese too, but I never called it "a nice wooden chopping board".
Regular showers solved the problem.

i have no idea what that even means

suicide is also illegal.

We’ve all heard the “official conspiracy theory‿ of the Death Star attack. We all know about Luke Skywalker and his ragtag bunch of rebels, how they mounted a foolhardy attack on the most powerful, well-defended battle station ever built. And we’ve all seen the video over, and over, and over, of the one-in-a-million shot that resulted in a massive chain reaction that not just damaged, but completely obliterated that massive technological wonder.

Like many Americans, I was fed this story when I was growing up. But as I watched the video, I began to realize that all was not as it seemed. And the more I questioned the official story, the deeper into the rabbit hole I went.

Presented here are some of the results of my soul-searching regarding this painful event. Like many citizens, I have many questions that I would like answered: was the mighty Imperial government really too incompetent to prevent a handful of untrained nerf-herders from destroying one of their most prized assets? Or are they hiding something from us? Who was really behind the attack? Why did they want the Death Star destroyed? No matter what the answers, we have a problem.

Below is a summary of my book, Uncomfortable Questions: An Analysis of the Death Star Attack, which presents compelling evidence that we all may be the victims of a fraud of immense proportions.

Uncomfortable Questions about the Death Star Attack

The cover of Uncomfortable Questions: An Analysis of the Death Star Attack

1) Why were a handful of rebel fighters able to penetrate the defenses of a battle station that had the capability of destroying an entire planet and the defenses to ward off several fleets of battle ships?

2) Why did Grand Moff Tarkin refuse to deploy the station’s large fleet of TIE Fighters until it was too late? Was he acting on orders from somebody to not shoot down the rebel attack force? If so, who, and why?

3) Why was the rebel pilot who supposedly destroyed the Death Star reported to be on the Death Star days, maybe hours, prior to its destruction? Why was he allowed to escape, and why were several individuals dressed in Stormtrooper uniforms seen helping him?

4) Why has there not been an investigation into allegations that Darth Vader, the second-ranking member of the Imperial Government, is in fact the father of the pilot who allegedly destroyed the Death Star?

5) Why did Lord Vader decide to break all protocols and personally pilot a lightly armored TIE Fighter? Conveniently, this placed Lord Vader outside of the Death Star when it was destroyed, where he was also conveniently able to escape from a large-sized rebel fleet that had just routed the Imperial forces. Why would Lord Vader, one of the highest ranking members of the Imperial Government, suddenly decide to fly away from the Death Star in the middle of a battle? Did he know something that the rest of the Imperial Navy didn’t?

6) How could any pilot shoot a missile into a 2 meter-wide exhaust port, let alone a pilot with no formal training, whose only claim to fame was his ability to “bullseye womprats‿ on Tatooine? This shot, according to one pilot, would be “impossible, even for a computer.‿ Yet, according to additional evidence, the pilot who allegedly fired the missile turned off his targeting computer when he was supposedly firing the shot that destroyed the Death Star. Why have these discrepancies never been investigated, let alone explained?

7) Why has their been no investigation into evidence that the droids who provided the rebels with the Death Star plans were once owned by none other than Lord Vader himself, and were found, conveniently, by the pilot who destroyed the Death Star, and who is also believed to be Lord Vader’s son? Evidence also shows that the droids were brought to one Ben Kenobi, who, records indicate, was Darth Vader’s teacher many years earlier! Are all these personal connections between the conspirators and a key figure in the Imperial government supposed to be coincidences?

8) How could a single missile destroy a battle station the size of a moon? No records, anywhere, show that any battle station or capital ship has ever been destroyed by a single missile. Furthermore, analysis of the tape of the last moments of the Death Star show numerous small explosions along its surface, prior to it exploding completely! Why does all evidence indicate that strategically placed explosives, not a single missile, is what destroyed the Death Star?

1. I am powerless over TT, and my life is unmanageable.

2. I will come to believe a power greater than Editor Bob will help restore sanity and order to TT.

3. I will come to realize that courage, tolerance, patience, gratitude, and awareness are the social lubrication that stop friction between myself and other members.

4. I will no longer exhibit anger, rage, anxiety, tension toward members as this is a clear indication I have a tormented mind.

5. I will search to take my own moral inventory and refrain from taking it of others.

6. I will admit the exact nature of my wrongs to release myself of guilt, resentment, and fear so I can sleep with a clear conscious.

7. I will humbly try to remove my own shortcomings and not point out the shortcomings of others.

8. I will make a list of all members I have harmed with my obnoxious rheteroic and be willing to make amends.

9. Today I will make direct amends, so if I get ratty I will be apologetic.

10. I will sort through all threads free of neurotic thoughts that I have to respond to all comments based on my belief system in an effort to save the world.

11. I will practice these same principles in other areas of my empty life.

12. Today I would rather do good so I prefer to kiss someone's feet, than to fight on TT.

Help, I'm a fat, attention-starved and desperately overcompensating person with a jumping, blind hamster. Can I find love in these hallowed environs? Also, I'm hungry and have run out of haggis and celery chublets. Is there a website I can buy this stuff from? Answer quickly before I run a gerbils hand-shaven scrotum over my wrists in a pique of piquiness.

Can I get a handicapped tram pass as a castrato?

Actually I'm just thinking maybe we could have the first meetup over a curry? That way the 6 of us can spend a couple of day arguing in advance over 9 different suggested restaurants, 3 of us can fail to turn up, and the rest can argue afterwards about who paid for the extra poppadom and moaning that the chicken korma wasn't hot enough?

The reason you should stop and see if you can help is because you should have some bloody morals - but, no, Germany has to legislate to get people to behave like decent human beings.

Just in case any of you dont want to own one, but just borrow, this is perfect for you.

http://www.rent-a-dildo.com/

Smells a bit fishy if you ask me...

Whilst on the programme people will spend a week back home as we show them some of the things they have missed about Britain

So a quick trip around a supermarket should cover it then.

i think your hot by the way, nice photo