Nominees for TT post and topic of the year 2008

ive seen someone put sellotape over it...not sure it worked too well though. plus he looked a mong for doing it. then we all laughed. then drank a beer. and were merry. there was laughter, and songs.

Men don't suffer from PE, women do.

I'd been really looking forward to this even for months. However, the chili lost it's appeal when I saw some of the cooks tasting eachother's concoctions right out of the pot. Who taught you mannerless assholes it is OK to dip your spoon in a full pot of chili, taste it, and then dip the same spoon into another pot, over and over. Especially when you know that other people are coming behind you to eat. And we had to pay admission for this! Never again.

So let's stop fucking about, and just declare war on every fucking towelhead. Enough is enough.

Oh, and to those that think I just wrote something racist, I didn't - towelheads of any colour are open game in my book. Diversity.

For management (called Betriebswirtschaftslehre or short BWL here)

...
Try the "Akademisches Auslandsamt" (short AAA, yes we like long words and acronyms)

sweetie I am a PHD of the English language and du have a big chip on your shoulder to have lowered yourself to that!

You joined up just to tell us that?

Excuse my scepticism "ricardo", but deVere have a long history of shill posting on this forum. Their staff pose as satisfied customers and write glowing reviews. If you don't know what a "shill posting" is, read about it on Wikipedia: Shill

As a forum member who joined just eight minutes before making that one single post, Ricardo, your recommendation carries zero credibility. In fact, it has all the hallmarks of a typical shill.

Update:

Via your TT registered email address, Ricardo, I was able to look up your Facebook profile. And through Facebook I can see that you do indeed work for deVere.

Busted, my friend.

The only positive reviews of deVere that have ever been posted to this forum have all been proven to come direct from the company's own employees.

This has been going on for five years or more.

So, I put it to the other readers of TT, would you trust such a deceptive company with your money? You decide.

I actually threw I live hand grenade in ROTC. I coulda died. It was louder than shit! There's no big gasoline explosion either when they go off like you see in the movies.

One of my grandfathers got malaria, shrapnel in his face, and bayoneted in the testicles in WW2, the other got shot down and put in a kraut prison camp. Not in a million years would I trust either of them to run for political office.

I admire your grandfather's testicles, lilplatinum. They've shown some serious strength of character. Considering what they've gone through, yet still being able to provide offspring. Maybe I wouldn't vote for your grandfather, but I would certainly vote for his testicles.

What exactly did Great Britain gain by "winning" two world wars?

It stopped us having to pay taxes to a German government and speak German, oh, hang on a minute...

GAA Gaelic Athletic Association, also known as the God Almighty Almightys, loads of jerseys, most of them missing a vertical hold

I am convinced that it will not get better. What's worse is that I have neighbors below who are constanly bickering about being unemployed.
It's hard to leave my window open without hearing all this negative talk. Is it true that unemployment is particularly high here in Berlin?

From an Alaskan that knows the GOP VP choice personally and makes for interesting reading to say the least:

Ah, the plot thickens...errr... thins.

I can understand a lay-person not understanding this, but someone with a dog should know about the social behavior of dogs.

God between eurovol and conquistador there is no more room up on the cross...

That having been said, useful as the orange dot is, it'll be hard to change the habit.

Said the nun to the hindu.

Dear diary,

I'm not sure if this is not going to be my last entry. I've been crouched down behind the garbage heaps for two days now. The locals seem to have become resistant to the armour piercing rounds that were recommended when we first moved here. The flak jackets are also useless. I took a direct hit from a two day old Brezen yesterday. Food supplies have run low and the local game is shy and impossible to track. The whole city is nothing more than a huge redlight district. Cannibalism is rife. I was approached by an obvious non-local yesterday, persistent, touting some reeking liquid. I shot him twice and he expired before I was forced to comprehend what ever heresy he was mouthing. The body is gone and with it any hope of stew, I think they dragged it off during the night, the every present night. The only relief from the darkness are the trains, they pass constantly , light spilling from windows filled with silent commuters. I have to move while I have the energy to save myself, but the minefields are everywhere. That scraping noise have started again, closer now ...

"Excerpt of a notebook recovered from a paper recycling container near Neuperlach. The fate of the writer is unknown"

Curious definition of the word "heaven". I realise that there are lots of different religions in this world, but if heaven is Singapore, I'm getting out my ouija-board and starting negotiations with the devil right now.

What if a recipe said, fry 2 parboiled, sliced potatoes in a "knob" of butter?

How big your knob is depends on the size of your spuds.

If only somebody had known how to do the Hindlick Maneuver.

The streetcars running from Stachus were hopelessly stuffed. This blond bimbo with stilettos and an immmmmmense suitcase (I think it had her makeup kit inside) pushes into the last open door and plants herself on the yellow line. Of course the expletive door won't close, haul ass out of there and wait for the next one that cannot enter the stop until the one you are blocking leaves! Then three other guys come running up the stairs and jump in as well. Somehow they all fit inside, and I hope they had a good time.

"Happify" sounds like the sort of nonsense that Harry Potter would say whilst waving his wand at something.

How would you know that don?

Your mum curiously likes to read to me after sex.

Badam, tsccccch.

...and I for one am actually EXCITED about living in a world in which Tina Turner owns a dome shaped metal stadium in the radiated desert where she pits hapless travellers against giant mutants in horned helmets. Anyone else?

You didn't make it to the Oktoberfest this year then?

Toytown Universe

Could make an incredible video game.

The courageous Owain Glyndwr has to rescue Eleanor Rigby from the clutches of the evil BadBob.

On the first level the newbie OG has to collect roast potatoes while trying to find the search function and avoid the rabid MadAxeMurderer. Bonus points for collecting GreenTea and Lavender Rain.

On the second level our OG must attend TTT. Armed with only a hand drawn map from Keydeck he must navigate the horrors of the U-Bahn using as few strips of his streifenkarte as possible. On arrival at TTT he must work out where the group is despite there only being one group of loud pissed up English speakers in the bar. To unlock the next level he has to utter the magic words 'are you Toytown?'

The third level is a corker. OG must collect PopRocks whilst trying to find the legendary Bunny before the Bunny reaches full power and vibrates the level to MonksTown. After finding the Bunny OG must raise it to the sky and then slay the Darkknight with it.

On the final level he must survive Oktoberfest. Nobody really has a clue what goes on on this level but there seem's to be a hell of a lot of cleavage to navigate and there is a 10,000 point bonus for finding a waitress who smiles.

On finding his beloved Eleanor our hero OG can settle down to a lovely evening of Marmite sandwiches and walkers crisps.

This is going to get deleted for being off topic isn't it?

Lingerie party -- self-promotion, insults and responses
13.Oct.2008 Its most definitely a lesbian thing btw, and when we get drunk and horny we use...

Keydeck, there is a "Search" function at the top right which would have answered your question, if you needed more info.

I would be, but unfortunately I spent it all as I earned it.

That is what happens when you keep giving it all to the Democratic Party.

BING BING BING... Now we get to it. You don't agree with McCain. Thank you. McCain said he would take their word, you don't think it should be so. You think women should subjected to, oh, what's the phrase I'm looking for...

that's it, thank you schizophrenic Conquistador, so nice to talk to you again. Apparently schizophrenic Conquistador and I both think such intrusive exams shouldn't be required on people if they don't want them.

I agree... but "now" Conquistador seems to disagree with you. He thinks it should be required that all rapes are immediately reported, or else the woman would not be able to receive treatment.

I know this, perhaps you can talk some sense into him.
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Just to be clear, in your version of this hypothetical world. If a woman did not want to report her rape due any reason of her choosing, but later found out she were pregnant... would she be allowed to have an abortion? Please answer that question.

Well, there's always the Therapeutic Hotline if all else fails...

Hello, and welcome to the Therapeutic Hotline!

If you're compulsive-obsessive, press "1" repeatedly.

If you have multiple personalities, press 2, 3 and 4.

If you're co-dependent, get someone to press 5 for you.

If you're schizophrenic, a little voice in your head will tell you which number to press.

If you're paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you're manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No-one wants to talk to you.

(SCNR - told to me by a therapist)

So, being a former Californian who owned two ferrets before moving to Germany, and has two gay sisters, this is a somewhat sensitive subject to me. (...)

If America can elect a black man with the middle name Hussein to the highest office in the nation, why the heck cant California approve gay marriage and legalizing ferrets??

veronicavonn, any word on how the gay ferrets are taking the defeat of Prop 8?

TTers are much smarter when they're drunk. They are when I'm drunk, anyway.

I tend to ' hear ' a person saying the words when i read something on here

Sorry Bluedave, all I understood from that was "ecky thump, eccles cake, do they 'eck as like, coalmine, Ena Sharples".

And to think instead of the whole D-Day invasion thing we could have just set up giant fans.

If they'd stuck to selling petrol, none of this would've happened.