My cunning plan to solve the German food issue

This is why this thread is so inspiring! After having been abused by the German supermarket experience for longer than we care to remember, now thanks to our illustrious and noble leader, Johnny English, we are rising up and fighting back! WHAT A FEELING! Maybe this gesture will only be symbolic and nothing will come of it, but I am sure that this will go down as one of the greatest moments in (justified) whining expat history.

Don't panic just yet. UPS are next day ANYWHERE in Germany.

This will never be a business proposal 'cos nobody actually wants to pay for the service except me (which I understand/appreciate), but if I can help a few peeps out along the
way then that is all well and good.

Sounds OK on paper but we need to see how it works in reality 'cos the service from UK to Germany is NOT next day (that is too pricey) so we need to know that the dry ice
system works over 3 days or so - but my man says it is no problemo, especially as they normally use the stuff for FREEZING rather than just refrigeration.

p.s. I am sure Katrina won't mind me pasting this from Facebook today:

2. NZ Supermarkets are cool as.
Frankly they make me wanna cry. It just makes it clear to me that Germany has worn me down and made me believe that bad service, badly stored food and just plain nastiness are normal. They are not. And smaller stores can co-exist with larger ones, local sourcing does not mean price hikes and food can be fresh, tasty and not expensive. It breaks my heart really because I can see now how things can and should be and I feel like a fraud for all those years of defending German rubbish. Sorry all. The beer is still good, though.

Another interested candidate here who can't be bothered to travel out to the countryside each weekend to meet up with the farmer, the baker, a butcher and anyone else that might be required to get some decent food.

I'd be in for some good cheddar too, not really sure what else I'd need though so unless shipping was really low it would be cost prohibitive for me unless we could find a central location in Munich where everyone who orders splits the shipping cost.

There was an M&S in Koeln which has a big expat population and they still closed.

Yopu can buy anything in Germany that you get in an M&S. Again I say, it's totally OVERRATED. Also, when you miss something from anopther place you tend to see it through rose-tinted glasses.

I assume from your twattish comments that you've never actually been in an M&S food department, have you Osmacher?

Osmachar - you are in the wrong thread. Please go and crap on over at the 700 page "German supermarkets are lovely/not lovely thread", I think it is still open for you.

This is the "Fuck-it-we-are-getting-M&S-dry-iced-from-the-UK" thread - regardless of what you say.

I would rather spunk my cash on M&S food than Lotto Totto Crappo tickets and cigarettes like all the Germans round here - so each to his own.

Osmachar can't you just give it a rest.

Sorry Owain. I have and my neighbour (who worked for me), his wife is a manageress in Marks and Sparks. She gets huge reductions for the food there but she does not eat it.

Why? Well, according to her, most of it comes from the same suppliers that supply Tesco, Sainsburys, Co-Op etc etc and she says she knows what is in it so does not eat it. Secondly she prefers to cook (despite having a full time job, along with her husband and two teenage kids) as she says her preparations are better in taste and in content.

She buys quite a lot of vegetables and wine at Marks and Sparks, but shops in Tesco in Broadfields, mainly.

This could possbibly make my wife redundant.

Edit: I'm so excited I can hardly type

He's only offering foodstuffs, not sex-on-tap.

Actually I am also offering sex-on-tap but that is on a different forum.

As I said...

not sure if a dry iced willie size would be any good though...

Oh Gids. When you said you wanted me to supply you with some big cumberland sausage I thought you were just trying to be subtle. You tease.

food on tap and an ice cold box...

Thanks for the twat - can only say ditto to that.

Of course I do also shop in M&S, but it's not as grand as people make it out to be. I never said it was crap, I just said it's overrated, that's all.

You can buy very nice things in M&S, but M&S food is not the be all and end all. If you think that then you've never eaten properly.

Is one not entitled to an opinion???

...said the bishop to the actress.

Sure, express your opinion on the relevant thread.


We know what we can get here in Munich. We know what M&S can provide. And on the basis of that we know what we are doing.
Your opinion is irrelevant on this thread.

Yes. But just because this thread is "alive" and not "dead" like the previous 800 page load of bollox don't come and hijack this one 'cos it is just gonna get messy.

So basically you are welcome to your opinion - just bugger off and post it in the other thread so that it is easier for us to ignore.

In this thread we are trying to discuss WHICH products we want to IMPORT from M&S UK using DRY ICE. Anything else is "off topic". Unless I post it, in which case anything goes.

Is that OK sweetie?

Whay don't you open an M&S franchise then. Or open up a shop with all your favourite products instead of moaning all the bloody time.

(Or even better, move to the UK where you can shop in M&S 7 days a week. - ops I said it...)

Fuck off, Osmachar. Seriously, give it a fucking rest will you?

We are not moaning. We are fixing. You're just getting in the way.

I don't remember moaning

Ditto.

Me me me. I want the last word.

TT's answer to the master of ready wit and repartee. Sad really.

Ditto? You're telling yourself to fuck off?

Anyway, I'm in England not 200m from M&S and I still love this plan. Top work JE - anything I can do from here, let me know.

Dunno if anyone ventures in to Kaufhof at Marienplatz, they sell Cathedral Extra Matured 16 months(Or however old) cheddar cheese there.

Totally agree.

If you run out of good arguments you become insulting.

Good night.

Not always the case osmachar - you ran out of arguments weeks ago, yet you're still not that insulting

I would love some decent sausages. So many recipes are waiting for them.

1.Toad in the hole
2. Sausage & Mash with onion gravy
3. Sausage sandwich
4. Sausage with jacket potato and baked beans
5. Sausage and puy lentils
6. Sausage hotpot

mmmmmmmmmm sausages. What can I do to help?

A nice idea really, would be great if it worked, but do not think you might (if you're unlucky) have probs with the customs, at least with larger amounts. I mean with meat and milk products.

Jack, let the euphoria dissipate first. Reality will come soon enough in the form of permits etc. We've been through this jobby before.

Bitta porno for ya

There are no customs fellah. Despite what my lady at the post office might sometimes think, the UK most certainly is in Europe.

There are the occasional ban on meat products from Britain due to beri-beri or whatever breaking out, but otherwise importing meat stuff from Britain is no problem. I always bring loads of sausages back with me when I return from Britain and have never had any problems. Actually crisps is my biggest wish thing. M+S do some great crisps, but should I really be eating those things?
As an aside though, M+S is hardly a typical British supermarket, they all seem to be based in large towns only. To get to the nearest one from my Mums place is at least a 15km drive. I'm not disputing that they are good but you can't compare them to a normal supermarket.
Anyway these crisps...

Got told about this thread last night and was very excited - fab idea!

If you go ahead with it could I place an order for 2 packs of venison sausage and 2 packs of extra extra mature cheddar with as much fat content as poss, please?

I contacted a butcher in the UK specifically so I can buy UK sausages. He said that it was not a problem to ship them BUT it would cost £284 for the veterinary certification for the meat contents originating area. He offered to send me the bill too, so as to prove that he is not profiting from it. Without it, it would not get through customs. Just thought I would let you know if you wanted to import fresh sausages.


(extract from the e-mail that the chap sent me)

EU eases foot-and-mouth restrictions on Britain, Cyprus

Your info is out of date canaryman.

Decent sausages!! You`re in the land of the Wurst. Best sausages in the world!

Of course, but people like (and consider "best") whatever it is they have grown up with; objectiveness doesn't enter the equation. This bizarre scheme is just the logical conclusion of this.

Agree

There's a plentiful selection of Marks n Sparks in Prague. I appreciate that you probably don't know a monkey there to do the shop, but u could always tap-up one of the expats living there...

You might want to make sure that the goods you want to get delievered arent on the UPS List of Prohibited Articles... They probably wouldnt find out, but if they do, couldnt it mean trouble for your business?

Probably best if he DOESN'T look.

Funnily enough UPS drivers tell me they transport all sorts of technically banned stuff like plants, neon tubes etc. UPS won't give a toss as long as you dont ship stuff that leaks in their vans or explodes etc. Worst case scenario is they ask you nicely to stop.

But I should have a new contract next week with DPD that gives me acceptable pricing for the UK > DE deliveries (this has been the stumbling block so far). DE > UK is cheap as chips, but UK > DE is much trickier pricewise, but as it is only maybe 5% of my courier business I have a special rate.

Can you believe it is CHEAPER to ship DE > UK with the couriers than to ship UK > UK. Madness.

At least I am in France next week so might get some decent food there. I am driving so might pop in the hypermarket on the way home!!!

Have been thinking for a while about a solution to this, too.
Sorry, I don't want to hijack this topic, but this has been a pet topic for a while and I have been now trying to catch up with all the different supermarket threads and skimmed through many of them and wanted to know if anyone ever tried a petition to send to a few chains in the UK?

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=7507002015
Groups like these are kinda entertaining, but not effective/serious. What would be more suitable is to create a business case/petition.

Here are the facts as I see them:
- Munich is an excellent pilot location: High income, large single-households, many ex-pats, big market for high quality food
- Purely anecdotal, but when I lived in the UK, all my German friends visiting were all over the UK supermarkets for fresh food - it was hard to convince them to go to restaurants in the evening once they had seen the fresh-food sections
- For those who state that Walmart's failure in Germany is an indicator that no foreign chain can gain market entry - this would be an entry to the upmarket price-range, not for the 'Geiz ist Geil' crowd
- I have witnessed that the German food market for vegetarians (I don't eat meat during lent season - not for religious reasons, but just to see if I have any self-discipline left) is absolutely piss-poor. UK chains have really great expertise in that area

Cheers,

Julian