German courtship etiquette

This is one of the areas where as a "furriner" you have more leeway than the locals.

You mean its quicker to get them under the thumb? I like...

The class of some posts here actually show why they'd have trouble getting to know a decent woman... smh

HAHA.

Wut.Eh.Va.

You sound like one of "THEM".

goodlife, maybe they just want to get to know women, not decent ones. There is always a Deckelchen for a Töpfchen... meaning there is always an equivalent in women for men like that.

I would prefer a good woman but at the moment I am desperate so anything goes...

I tried the "Kann ich Dich ficken" in a queue by the coffee machine but could only get initially a shocked expression then a red face. Nothing else. What does the line mean anyway? - couldn't find it on google.de.

Every ship finds it's port.

Actually one of the nicest lines in any Kate Bush song also fits but is possibly a little too romantic for this thread, 'Every old sock meets an old shoe'

Is this a send-up?

I told you to use sie. She's offended becuase she thinks you think she's a child.

Next time they look red or shocked, just calmly respond with "Halt die Schnauze"

This will calm her down and bring her back into line.

Go for another coffee

CANT STOP LAUGHING...! r u sure u donno what it means or u r pretendin'?!?! ...

I'm losing track of who's winding who up here.

Ugh, that sentence hurts my eyes.

"See No Evil" ...!

V. disappointing. Was hoping it meant they fancied you haha.

Care to tell me? I hope I didn't say something stupid?

Use this site "http://dict.tu-chemnitz.de/" and translate the word "ficken" and you will get to know what that means..!

I use that site just for single words or some phrases..!

I use google translator for phrases or paragraphs of deutsch text (although it doesnt translate each and every word in the exact way...and i understand because artificial intelligence through software aint that easy)..!

I used google translator and found that "kann ich dich ficken" is correctly translated...i donno how you couldnt figure that out..Also, it looks and sounds very much similar to its english equivalent...! hmmm...

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Oh my word : How am I ever going to face this person? I hope I don't get reported for this.

Stop playing with us Wundebar!

Wunderbar – are you sure you really want a German woman? – they can be very expensive and demanding.
You could cut out all that frustration you seem to be experiencing by importing one of these and if you’re not happy you can just ship them back and order another one.
http://uk.anastasia-international.com/?gcl...CFQz6EAodQ2qRfg

LOL

So, the perfect woman is a non-demanding, no opinion, no interests "thing" I take it?

Man oh man BB... smh

Nein, dänke. I prefer the adventurous German woman...

Is that what you think of these women then?

I was referring to your comment on German women being too demanding and too expensive, so in your eyes not the "perfect woman" because you rather have someone with no demands, etc...

anyways, each to it's own I guess...

Exactly each to their own I prefer women that are sensitive, feminine, warm and sexy.
Where do you read no demands, no opinions and no interests?

plenty of those here, but i forgot, they can't dare to demand anything from you, so that cuts the choice down a bit

They are demanding then - you seem to agree. In one's personal life why should anyone have to demand something from someone else? Sounds a bit strange to me. Is this German courtship etiquette then - the women demanding and the men giving.

Maybe occasionally it does, but usually not. I would think if someone was interested in someone else they would do something a little more subtle and nicer than just staring. Sorry I disappointed you.

Hold up, cause you don't seem to get it, what you live is a double standard, because you demand things as well, you demand for the woman to be a certain way. If a person had no demands at all, it would mean, you can just as well date anyone you meet on the street, no matter if stinking breath, long greasy hair, dirty clothes, no or rotten teeth etc.
Everyone has demands in this world, that's what makes the relationships different.
Or else we'd all have the same taste in partners.

If you date a woman, and she has some qualities that you don't agree with, then YOU ARE demanding different qualities in a person...

So, there are no men out there taking the best of some women out there? It's always the men giving and the women asking? LOL I dare to disagree...

I second what goodlife said.

But perhaps it was more a question of, after having chosen someone according to one's own demands, having further demands, i.e. trying to make the other one change to better suit one's own needs? Or was it meant more like "they demand too much attention"?

Having demands is okay, as long as it doesn't require the other person to do something they don't want to do or changing who they are.

Well Sue, to me it sounds like BB meant "all German woman are greedy and materialistic" because he also talked about them becoming "expensive", so his real problem is the money lol...

Of course having demands is ok, and yes I agree, when it comes to the point where the other tries to force you to do something that you don't like, then it's just the wrong person to be with, that's not a nationality thing but a personality thing.

I'm going to have to disagree entierly with goodlife and sue87. Demands are a really bad thing. In a long term relationship the killer. Now if they are requirements that can be negotiated then it's fine. Demanding all the time is bad. Been there, done that and just left it. I really don't believe all German women are like that though.

At least that!

I don't think this discussion is about the easy cases.

Pas, perhaps we simply define "demands" a bit differently...
I'm thinking of stuff like...well, I have certain "demands" such as: don't get rude when you disagree with something I say, don't shout at me just because we're having a quarrel, don't hang up on me or ditch me. Those are behaviour-related things that, I believe, are not essential to that person's character (although it says something about their character)
Someone behaving in a way I find hurtful or disrespectful is something I have no problem with asking them to change, and if they don't and it's too much- bye-bye. I don't feel that it's on the same level as telling your partner how to dress or to hold every door open for you - it's basic, important stuff that's quite important in a relationship, and yet not everyone has gotten the hang of it or feels the same way about it.

And well, I don't think all German women are greedy or materialistic, although of course I've never been with one. I don't have contact with many women, actually, but those I know seem pretty okay in that respect. Maybe also a question of generation.

My wife has/had a really bad habit of saying 'du muss' , 'you must'. That's a demand in my mother tongue. Perhaps it's different in German?

In German we also say "müssen tu ich nix, außer sterben".
I have expectations of a person, not demands.

That, in my eyes, is also a demand (I do have the same mother tongue, and sometimes my usage of German tends to be slightly off because it is influenced by figures of speech or expressions in two other languages). It does depend on the situation and how it is said, I guess. Of course if there's something that upsets you about someone else, the best way to do it is to be polite and sweet about it. People altering their behaviour because they feel they have to, as opposed to wanting to, usually doesn't work out that well.

That's why I normally try to explain my feelings about the issue at hand and see if the other one sees my point and draws the right conclusions. Everything else is asking a bit much, unless you have a partner that is very hard to rub up the wrong way. Aggressive, accusing speech patterns hardly ever give the results you wish for anyway, so it's in everyone's own interest to be nice about it

In my opinion its very difficult, if not impossible, to try and change an adult who has ahd a particular bad habit for more a long time.

Unless it is something they want to change too.
Stop smoking.
Stop dressing bad. LOL

Hahaha...

Wundebar, I just had an idea.
If you'd go iceskating with a friend, that would be a great spot to get to know a girl, there is laughter, there is Glühwein , and you can play the "WUNDEBA TO THE RESCUE" if a girl falls down

I'd differentiate betw. standards and demands.

I'm willing to try that - great idea goodlife. Does anyone know of ice-skating rinks in Mainz that I could try?
Last night I scored major successes in a bar but thats not the type of women I want...

But did you use du oder sie?

I googled and it says, there is a great one in front of the Kurfürstenschloss at the Ernst-Ludwig-Platz.

There is a German-American Friendship club in Mainz, the spokes person for this is:

Kerstin Steinhauer
Gartenfeldplatz 10
55118 Mainz

Tel. (06131) 6291933
Email: ksteinhauer@gmx.de

http://www.vdac.de/vdac/en/mainz/

This looks like a lot of fun!

Thanks for the links goodlife. I'll certainly give it a shot.

Tonight I have my second date with a German girl. She's a nurse.

We met in a bar last Friday night. She was sitting there with her friend looking pissed off, so I went up and just said, hey, are you ok? Why do you look so angry? Why aren't you having a good time?

They were both pretty shocked. Apparently guys here are not that direct. But, I would note that she was pretty bold too since she got my phone number before I could get hers

So, my advice to you...go for it. Who dares, wins. Fortune favors the bold. An apple a day, etc.

If that doesn't help, you could get away with a one-two punch of devastating good looks and rapier wit. It's worked for me so far.

Is the date with the beautiful one or her fat ugly friend?