Breaking an au pair employment contract

Hey so if anyone out there has any legal background I think I might need a bit of advice.

So came to Berlin from NZ to work as an Au Pair a few weeks ago..thought I had everything sussed but when I got here the family changed the contract we had agreed to over the phone and internet, I signed it because really what else could I do.. I was pretty much stuck. So the job sucks..im just here as a cleaner really, the family laugh at my accent and correct my english (WTF!!!) but wont let me speak german. The kid is a spoilt little brat who hates me and just screams at me. So when I got some spare time I found another family in Düsseldorf and without telling my host family here started making arangements with them. They are flying me to go visit them this weekend just to check things out but I am almost 100% sure it will and they want me to start asap.

So my contract has an out clause which states that:

"The contract can be dissolved by each of the contracting parties observing a term of notice of two weeks."

however I think once I tell them I want to go things will not be so pleasant for me and my new host family said that if I want I can I can jump back on a plane the day I tell them and get the hell out. There is another term in my contract which says:

"Regardless of this term of notice, one party can dissolve this contract with immediate effect in case of a serious misconduct of the other party. Both parties can also dissolve the contract with immediate effect in case serious circumstances require such immediate dissolution."

Does them changing the contract on me when I get here count as serious misconduct? Or did I give up the right to use this in my deffence when I signed the new contract..even though they trapped me into signing it.

Also the other day a repair man came and the family told me if he asked I was to say I was their friend visiting from NZ not their Au Pair..from what I could gather... in the building they live in if they have extra people living in their flat they have to pay more so they have not registered me.

So Im really hoping things dont get ugly but just in case they do I want to be prepared and any help or advice would be much appretiated or else you can just read this an laugh at the mess I have gotten myself into. haha

Cheers

Just leave, I did

By the sounds of it they haven't registered so if you do leave what can they do? I highly doubt they are going to anything in a legal sense, you might jsut get a earful. Tell them you are leaving and hopefully they will get mad and kick you out, or as I like to think of it, mutually end the contract

Does it say in there that they are responsible for registering you? It seems like they are breaking contract terms.

They don't speak to you in German that is very odd... No comment on correcting your English that is just laughable. I would do my best to get out of there as soon as possible.

To be honest I'd be tempted just to pack everything up and email them from Düsseldorf it doesn't sound like you need a reference from them.

Not speaking German is not odd. Many families want the aupair to speak the aupair’s native language, especially with the kids.

Why not see how things go with the new people. Also, try to remain calm and rational.
Have you talked to the people you’re working for at the moment and tried to resolve things or if not resolve at least explain things and why you’re not happy and question all the changes in expectations/duties? I’m not saying the situation can get better, but it’s only been two weeks. There’s an adjustment period for them and you, especially for the child. Some kids welcome strangers/aupairs with open arms. Others can take a month or more to be comfortable, friendly, and create a bond.
Do what you feel most comfortable and safest with. Just remember though there will be hard times no matter which family you’re with. You’re living with others who are not family and also working for them. There are amazing families out there and some aupairs who love the job and their family, but even they still have some tense times.
Please try to hang in there and try to keep your cool no matter what you do.

You've got your passport and return flight voucher, right?

Why wouldn't she have her passport?
I hope no one would give up their passport to someone, that's just crazy.

Hmm, that sounds like the exact wording from my contract. Obviously you're planning on leaving, so I won't try to convince you otherwise. However, I can honestly say there's been more than a few ups and downs with my family, and I've only been here a couple of months. Awhile back, I was really upset because the family was making me work more than the contract states. I ended up talking to them about it, and we're working on making things more reasonable. I've got some friends who seem to have perfect situations where there isn't any trouble, but I don't really find it to be so realistic. You'll probably have lots of problems with your family in Düsseldorf too. Just take things slow, talk it out, and take your time signing things. The crappy thing about being an Au Pair is that you live where you work, and sometimes things can get overwhelming.
As to the part about your family cutting corners to save money... The family I'm staying with does it too, and it makes me nervous, by all means. But at the same time, I see how they spend money on certain things (like an Au Pair, cleaner and nice cars), but they're buying all their kids' clothes off Ebay and selling them back.. Maybe they're just cheap people. I don't know, but I definately know how it could make you uncomfortable.
All the best in Düsseldorf. I really hope you've hit the jackpot with a good family this time, a family who is actually glad to have you be a part of it.

well thanks for the advice guys. just to fill you in a little more. The reason im not happy is I do almost no child care..its all just cleaning up after the family. I have talked to them and told them i am unhappy, especially with the way the child treats me (like her maid) and they said that she is going through a rough time and they dont like to be to tough on her or discipline..she is just spoilt. I know the deal with being an au pair... I came into this expecting to have to do some house work but as Im planning on doing my masters in child psych next year i really wanted to do some child care to. For the record I also have to cook for the fam twice a week (which is fine) and buy the groceries for what i cook with my own money (not fine!!!)

They speak english to me as they want to improve their english..they dont really care if i can speak german.

I have been careful in checking out my new fam (hence flying to see them this weekend before I decide) and they seem like a much better fit. I think im prety much gonna tell them im leaving and go but I wanted to check to see if they could force me to stay for the 2 weeks.

an um yeah iv got my passport..how else would i get into the country or get a visa!! haha

You should be able to just terminate the contract, since they are actually in breech of it by changing it after you had agreed to something else, and when you are an aupair there are certain guidlines that each party is supposed to stick to, and it sounds like they are not, so you are well within your rights to walk out, it should not affect your visa as you have found a new family. I really hate these people who just take the piss.

Good Luck

That's a good one, give them the same respect that they deserve and have given you...NONE

defo not cool buying them food with your money!
many of us had to do all the grocery shopping, but either were given money or were reimbursed. That is not fair you having to pay for them to eat!

sounds like the new fam will be a good improvement.

Part of the basic requirements of being an au pair is that you're given free room and board, because after all, it's not like you're making a fortune. That includes food. From what you've expanded on, that's ridiculous you're not getting enough time to do what you're there for. I hope everything gets better for you.

Remember to change the family on your visa as well!

Document all these things which could be considered breach of contract, how the family treats you bad, that they changed the contract, are disrespectful, make you pay for their food with your money, and did not register you with their housing office. In that case if they want to force you to stay you have some kind of proof of their misconduct.
And then leave. Do not give the family a way of contacting (harassing) you (they would be able to if they went to a lawyer but I assume they wouldn't do that (not worth the expenses).

Of course you had to have one to enter the country, nobody suggested otherwise. The thing is that your host family could have offered "nicely" to keep it in a safe place for you, and then you would have been stuck...

Why not refuse to work!

That must count as a serious breach of contract and after a couple of days they will fire you or something and you are free to go to your new family. Or try to commit some serious breach without it being too bad.

What about flirting with the husband? If you do it in front of the wife (only) then she might become pissed and get rid of you. Or does other things like when they are out play the music so load that the neighbours complain to them when they are back. It might cause you a bit of short term pain, but if you just play ignorant and act as if you are not bothered then they will surely try to get rid of you ASAP, which is what you want.

Look just leave and if the woman of the house asks why tell her her hubby came on to you.Teach em for treating you like sh--++*/t.

I don't know too much about Au Pairing but my impression is that expecting you to pay for food on the two occasions you cook is well out of line (unless it's somehow reflected in your stipend and conditions elsewhere). It's quite irregular. Being expected to work more than the agreed hours is also out of line, and a breach of contract.

I think the advice about documenting all these things is important, especially if there's some sort of central agency or something where the information can be reported to (so that other Au Pairs will know in the future). If you do decide to 'communicate' your feelings with the family, having a physical list of items and events and dates and times, is better than just talking from memory, as it lessens the probability of a 'ah shure we didn't do that etc.' response, which is how people often instinctively react when confronted. It's amazing how much people can fool themselves in their own minds sometimes. A list of items will bring a sharp focus of reality to the discussion, and perhaps even structure your own thoughts better.

I think the most important thing is that you feel happy about yourself and your situation. It doesn't sound to me like you feel you are being respected very much, and I don't think you owe much respect in return as a result. Go with whatever makes you happy!

If they've broken the contract (such as making you work more hours), I think consider yourself free to leave whenever. But if they haven't broken the contract, it might be worth trying to serve the 2 weeks notice, so long as you continue to be treated 'professionally' during that period, just for honour's sake or keeping things official or whatever. This may make you feel better too in the long run. Practically speaking, I doubt there are legal implications eitherway, as the sums of money in question would be to low for any sort of law suit to be considered by either party.

Afaik German law has a probation period of 6 months for any 'job' anyways where either party can terminate the job immediately. This would override whatever is in your contract. Can anyone confirm or elaborate on this, as my knowledge is not deep in this area?

Do you have a friend or anything you could stay with if things got out of hand over the notice period? If so, that makes things easier I guess to serve the 2 weeks notice if asked.

I wouldn't recommend going down the route of making up a story (such as husband coming onto you or whatever). That's not very nice, and potentially has very serious legal consequences.

And last point is this, it's really NOT worth getting into a big heated battle or worrying yourself about it too much (I know that's easy for me to say). They aren't worth the hassle. Just move on, but only if suits you, and only if you think things won't get better by communicating with them.

Sorry, best ignore this point, as I just looked it up, and I think a 2 week notice period applies in this instance.

wow thanks for the advice guys. I dont think I will fabricate a story or do anything that could potentially affect my visa status (like flirt with the husband..plus hes about 50 urgh!!!) if they reported it. My new host family have taken care of transfering my visa and I have a list of reciets for the items I purchased and also a copy of the original contract and emails which state what terms we had decided on and show how it has changed etc. My new family said they will book tickets for whenever I want to leave so Im thinking that as it appears I can not get into any major legal trouble, on monday I will just present them with all the documents tell them they have breached the contract and that I am leaving and get out.

I will let you all know how I get on. if all else fails im a pretty fast runner!! haha

I hope it works out for you with your new family, experiences like that can really put people off being an aupair, especially ones who travel as far as you have, which must be really frightening to come that far and have it not work out...it depends on purely on luck most of the time, the i aupaired for 2 families here, the first were great, and really made me feel comfortable and just like a member of the family...but the second family were a complete nightmare, they were really weird, they didn't want me spending my "free time" on my own, during this time i was supposed to be spending time with the also spoilt brat of a child, even though i was under the impression that this was to be done during working hours ...anyway i lasted a week.

Just to second what someone else posted, it would maybe be a good idea, to contact the agency(if you used one) and report them, just to warn others.

Good Luck

Aupairs only get a visa for 1yr so no, there isn’t a 6month or even 2 week legal agreement. It’s whatever you work out with the family.

Although working over the stated hours sucks and is unfair and probably illegal, I don’t think you’ll have much grounds with that. Morally you should, but I’ve yet to meet an aupair that has their job to the ‘t’ without ever working more hours. There are some that work right around the stipulated hours and rarely more, but often most aupairs work more.
Just because working more is normal I’m not saying it’s correct and you’re well in line to use that against them.
I don’t see the big deal. If you’re unhappy and there is not mutual respect and effort on both sides then leave. Aupairs leave all the time. Some go on to other families, some just go home. This is nothing new and just do what you feel comfortable with. I would recommend alerting them and telling them you’re leaving. Perhaps ask if they prefer you work the two weeks and say you’re willing to do so, but if it’s not needed you’d rather be on your way (no need to say where that way may be).

Sounds like you have a solid plan of calmly telling them and leaving. I’m sure it seems like the situation will be horrible, but it probably won’t be as bad as you think it will be. If it is then again no worries since you’re leaving and the bad part is all over and you’re starting fresh.

Just to clear the air..i dont think i have said so but sorry if i did. my prob is not working over the required hours..that would not bother me. the prob is it is all house keeping and cleaning and no child care work..i spend perhaps 1 hour max with the kid and that is just cleaning up after her or driving her round places. the rest is just cleaning which is not what i became an au pair to do.

yeah no worries you mentioned that.
i put in the working extra hours for others who kept saying that's a huge no-no. it might be, legally, but in reality it's common.
Sorry if you thought my comment was directed at you! it definately wasn't- it was more general info.

So...how did it go? did you tell them to shove their job? and did you go to Düsseldorf?, if that doesn't work out there is a very good nanny agency in Munich with lots of good families on her books.

Let us know

Sarah

Haha worked out really well actually.

So checked out the new family in Düsseldorf in the weekend and got on great with them all, they told me I could start whenever I wanted but decided I should do things by the book (kind of!) so I handed in my resignation on tuesday night and told them I was willing to give my two weeks but reminded them that my german classes were starting the next day and if they let me leave earlier I wouldn't go to the course the next day and let them get their money back. So we negotiated and agreed I stay until friday, I get paid for the week and then im out of here. The mum took it quite well but the dad was pissed as and now doesn't talk to me and shouted a bit but at the mum not me..they both just ignore me know and give me heaps of jobs to do but I dont really care. My new family in Düsseldorf are really really nice and they are checking in with me each day to make sure im ok. So worked out good I think. Moral of the story..dont trust anyone!

i hope they trust you at least