You know you're turning German when...

1. Stop at the red man without a car in sight.
2. You think in Euros without converting to Sterling/Dollars.
3. You laugh at German comedy on TV.
4. You reprimand strangers in the street for busting rules.
5. You fold your clothes neatly before sex.

Actually I have been here less than a year but reckon some of you guys can continue this thread so that we all know what to watch out for - and when to join Jimbo for the "Midnight Express" home.

I'm guilty of the first one !!!

When I was in New York this summer I was patiently waiting at a stop light (and day dreaming) till I realized that there were no cars and everyone was crossing the street. That was a wake up call.

6. When you mix Coke with beer.
7. When you convert everything into DM's before paying.
8. When you have a new baby, and they offer the BABY the cigar, then you really know you have arrived. lol
9. You find nudity on TV normal.
10. You hate Bush and America, but have no real idea why.
11. You think Diesel at .90 a liter is cheap. (Give me $2.00 per gallon any day!)

Folding clothes neatly before sex? Where did you get that from???

12. When you're back home instead of saying 'excuse me' you find it easier to say 'entschuldigung'.

Or you could leave Germany before it gets this bad.

@3 lions - since when did people say "entschuldigung" in Munich? They just shove you out of the way.

Right I'm guilty of 2&3
Actually maybe 4 is reprimanding smokers inside UBahn stations counts

But 1. Never, never, ever. Shoot me if you see me doing that. (Hmmm same goes for 5)

Been guilty of saying 12. in other countries

13. When formulating a question you instead formulate a statement then stick 'oder?' at the end of it.

When that happens it's time to turn in your passport and get your Ausweis card instead.

definately guilty of 2. and 9. but that has nothing to do with me staying in Germany becasue it's the same back home in Holland. Luckely I haven't had much trouble so far, guess i've to stay here a little while longer .

and to add one...

14. if you say 'mahlzeit' to your collagues not only when you go for lunch but during the better part of the day.

Regards folding clothes neatly before sex, OK - kinda poetic licence if you will. "alles in ordnung" was my theme.

guilty of 1,3,4,7!! oh god!
How about another one:

15. refusing to make any loud noise past 6 in the evening as it's against the rules!

Past 6, i though it was 8? Or thats why none of my neighbours speak to me!

house work, banging, drilling, the like til 5/6 and then you're allowed to listen to music and TV at nornal viewing levels, then after 10.30 it's bed time!! oohh lovely, got into trouble for making noise recently. Got a nice highlighted leaflet posted through the letter box from the Hausmeister stating exactly what we were allowed to do and what not! Grrrrrr

You people and your obsession with rules. Honestly I think some of the expats in Munich care more about the rules than the locals do. Just because a rule exists doesn't mean that people are adhering to it. For Christ's sake there're rules at my old university that I as a graduate can draw my sword under the campanile, shoot pigeons in front square and ride a horse on the cricket field. Doesn't mean I'm about to do it though. I've lived in Munich since '99, lived in a number of apartments and never came across any of the things that people are incessantly moaning about. I and any of the neighbours I've had just got on with it. Yes we've had complaints when the music was too loud or when we decided to have a BBQ on the balcony and smoked everyone out of it, but these are normal complaints. You say you're sorry and you just get on with it. I just don't know where half of the problems people have come from unless the people are specifically looking for confrontation. Let's love each other, let's befriend those who live next door to us, lets increase the peace. Everybody needs good neighbours. That's when good neighbours become good friends.

And if the bloke in my building who seems to have a Saturday morning carpentry hobby is reading this, then you'll get yours when the revolution comes ya bastard!

I's going for decaf.

You are taking supreme delight in catching others making mistakes. If you have aquired that personality trait, you are ready to truly enjoy working in a German job environment. This is not only my observation, expats who have come here on their own, and live and work here, have observed this too.

I've been here since 1997 and never have I had any problems until I moved into my current flat 4 months ago, I do wonder whether people have much else to do than complain about their neighbours!

Margret hit it right on the nose! I have also noticed this "trait" of taking delight in others mistakes and hope never to turn out like this.

Also, if you begin to dislike the notion of fun then you can honestly say I am German.

... when you refer to football teams by their moronic German names: Arsenal London, Chelsea London, Juventus Turin. Argghhh! Luckily they don't know the Villa play in Birmingham.

Of course, because only stupid people wouldn't know where Arsenal and Chelsea are located. I mean they are English football teams so any civilised person should know all about them.

thats not fair, did you know where "die sechsiger" played before you came here. britisch tv still says bayern-munich although fcb always refer to themselves as fc bayern.

actualy you know when your german when you start writing posts like the one above...

"ve are sowwy about zee var ve did not mean it und now zis american bush man is zee neue adolf..."

...or when you start counting time in minutes.
For e.g. you know the exact times the trams/trains near your house leave, so if the next tram is at 8.33, and it takes 12 minutes to walk to the stop, you can leave at about 8.20 and not have to wait too long at the stop. And then, if the tram is 30 seconds early and you missed it, you have to wait a WHOLE SEVEN MINUTES for the next one! Crap! ...(Or is this just me )

Well I know I am ok there. I live right across from the bus stop and can still miss 3 buses in a row.

@tomchi...I second that...another one if you realise the bus is one minute late you freak out cos it probably means its not coming..darned punctual Germans

But these aren't their names! Where does it say a football team name has to let you know where they're from? Who says "Schalke Gelsenkirchen"? Why do "Die Tottenham Hotspurs" get away with not having "London" so unaesthetically appended to their name?

With regards FCB: look at their badge, FC Bayern Muenchen is their name, so it's fine to call them Bayern Muenchen (or Munich).

And what about Real Sociedad and Atalanta? If you watched sport here, you wouldn't even know they existed.

(dunno what the emoticons are meant to mean, so I'll hedge my bets).

Its really staffordshire! Cannock Villa!!!

Aye, well, you're t'local you'd know that. I'm just a gloryhunting Lincoln boy

Whassup, Keith, anyhow - haven't seen you on H&V or in Murphy's for a while. (Sorry, Martin here btw).

And what happened to Wookie? I still have his radio ...

How do. Changed haunt, now waste all my pennies in kilians. Murphy's seems to have too many Germans in it, not much they can do about that, I suppose. Passport checks on entrance?!?!

I have no idea whats happened to Wookie, to be honest, you can consider that radio, your own.

Sometimes I like to pretend I am german.

I get up, cook a sausage and open a beer for breakfast, throw some kraut on there, go down to the street, light a cig, wait for the green man to cross, cluck my tongue at those jaywalking, stare at anyone not dressed as I am, pay for a paper, get on the bus and purchase a ticket and stamp it, say Grussdich and Servus to everyone, and Mahlzeit when going for lunch which will include beer.

Not so bad sometimes.

I'm still Outland or Murphy's.

Back to topic:
You know you're turning German when:
- when you pay at the supermarket checkout you count out the exact change to give to the cashier (or you fish out those cents to add to the note, without being prompted, so their job of counting the change is easier).

And what's with Germans staring at people? I used to think I had strange clothes on or something... but I am normal enough looking. It's bizarre how blatant they are with this! Anyone else have this happen?

DW says it happens all the time to him, but might have something to do with wearing his trollies round his ankles?

Staring? Thats pure German. Lots of peeps have to get accustomed to the staring eyeballs, it pops up on the forum from now and again. Read a sample New to Munich from Canada. Will I survive?

ps: i am definitely staring at you right now

The Germans are nothing compared to Czechs when it comes to blatant staring, especially if you go outside Prague. In fact, I can't even admit that I've noticed the German stare at all in my 5 years here.

I didn't really notice the staring either... until I went on the subway in Toronto and caught myself doing it to others.

no one has mentioned the sitting down to have a pee even though as a man you can do it standing up!!!

I'm amazed that this thread has gone this far and no-one has commented on the local's habit of walking around starkers. Being a pretty broad minded person I don't see anything wrong if someone wants to sunbathe in the all-together - but walking aroundin public in a proud 'hey look at me, I'm naked' fashion is something else.

And has anyone else noticed how many of them are having a conversation/argument with themselves as they walk around the town?

And the idea that *ALL* sport *MUST* be competetive with a winner and losers. It makes cycling to work something that the Schumacher bro's must have been good at.

And you take an umbrella with you if the chance of it raining is >20% (and you know what the forecast said).

Or you wear light pastel colours in summer but automatically switch to black mid September.

I could go on but as I don't think I do these things I guess I'm still more of an observer than participant...

Have to say I must have missed all the people walking around starkers this summer! Apart from in the Englischer Garten where everyone was sunbathing.

Being from Manchester, I would prob take an umbrella with me even if there was a hint of cloud...I think you're turning German when you take your cagoule rolled up in the bottom of your bag!

I've also now actually started looking before crossing the cycle paths in between the pavement and the road...think I may have walked in front of at least 10 cyclists in my first week!

And I got another one on the way home:

You know you're turning German when you put your fingers in your ears when an emergency vehicle with it's sirens going drives past.

Errr what's that got to do with going native? Just protecting my eardrums from unnecessary damage.

I've never seen this anywhere else and the sirens aren't that loud, are they? I've always put this down to the local's paranoia about things that may harm them (on this subject I've heard some amazing stories...).

It's an interesting observation and you could be right (maybe I've just been here too long) but I do find the sirens here LOUD. And I live right next to a hospital so I'm used to them!

Anything that makes you realize that maybe you have been here too long.
Topics merged by admin

When I see this same topic come up for the hundredth time on TT?

You write something in German without consulting a dictionary and find that you have made not one spelling mistake.

There's this, for a start: You know you've been in Bavaria too long when...

When that little frisson of frustration with the monthly/weekly ticket that pops out of the MVV machine STILL has the superfluous centimeter of paper foreskin on the right-hand side, that bit with the little scissors icon, forcing you to grind your teeth involuntarily and think "Why are they still doing that?", as you rip it off for the 7 millionth Sunday evening/Monday morning/first/last day of the month in a row.

Or you spend hours considering how much better off you'd be if you'd not ever bought a ticket because you've only had yours checked once in four years...

You change a statement into a question by adding an "or" on the end: We're not going to be able to play today because of the weather, or?

'Paprika' becomes your favourite flavour of crisp!

Or if you dye your hair that 'red' colour!