You know you're turning German when...

Blasphemer!

What is fun?

Yopu are becoming German if you go to the UK on holiday and spend days searching until you find a flight The fact that you have to drive halfway to the UK to get to the airport doesn't matter because the flight was £5 cheaper. And when you get to the UK you annoy everyone saying 'it's soooo expensive here'.

Also when you prefer peanut flavoured whatsits to the traditional cheese flavour. I can't imagine why a crisp snack should be peanut flavoured. Why don't you just eat peanuts?

In defence of the Germans at least the flips actually taste like peanuts, those neon orange wotsits (cheesy puffs) don't taste like anything that remotely resembles cheese or anything food-like for that matter.

Doesn't stop me from loving them though. I can't wait until my business trip to the US next week so I can bring back mountains of the styrofoamish treat.

You go to October fest actually dressed the way they do.

I love cheesy poofs
You love cheesy poofs
If we didn't have cheesy poofs
We'd be lame!

More the fact that one sings the Wiesn songs knowing all the words - with friends visiting from overseas giving you 'WTF' looks...

I saw a TV program and they lit one of the British puffs and it burnt rather nicely on its own. (a demonstation of the fat content). Try the same experiment with an American one to test the quality.

The question is "can man survive on cheesy puffs alone?"

I will have an answer to that question in 2 weeks time.

A truly worthwhile experiment.

BTW. If your family needs any help with funeral arrangements I can give them a discount.

When you have stopped laughing and wonder what's there to smile about !
When you become penny wise and pound foolish - drive 50 kms to get a few cents' discount !
When you become paranoid about personal space and wait for a lift which will only take you!
When you start telling people back home things in their faces without beating around the bush, going around the houses!
When you keep saying BMWhey, Fauwhey, WheyM etc. !

I have some of these things done. but must it mean, that I have german become, relatedly bavarian? Nayes.

12b. When you bump into people without saying 'excuse me'.

When you start letting doors swing into peoples faces behind you.

When you no longer steal glasses from the bar. Not that I ever did, those really cool cocktail glasses always just appeared in my apartment in the states. Really.

busted!

when you talk to your family back home and don't understand that they don't understand your Denglish!

Immediately after exiting a train with dozens of people behind you, you stop in front of the door to talk on the phone, look at your map, or just wax philosophical. Alternatively, you just abruptly stop in any crowded thouroughfare, and stare rudly at the person behind you who did not have the prescience to predict your decision and bumps into you.

When you start randomly telling people off, like I did last week when a lady and her kids were riding bikes along the path at night with no lights on and appeared out of nowhere and almost run me over. I told her it was dangerous and illegal. My teenage daughter was mortified and she told me "My God mum you're acting just like a German"

Not too forget asking to close the windows on a boiling hot day because of the 'Zug'

how about making people stand on the train or the bus because you have put your shopping on the seat next to you...

I had a similar experience to Nicole on Saturday.
A smiling group of Danes were cycling through the park and one of them almost collided with me and I went off, using words like "forbidden" and "illegal". The poor lady's smile faded right off of her face. It was a low moment for me

- When you have to think a lot to find the English word for 'Staubsauger'.

- When you start going for Urlaubssss.

- When you say 'Genau' after every sentence of your partner.

When you produce a printed map to the hotel on a business trip and your German colleague laughs at you for being 'German'.

... you are standing at the correct spot just to the right hand side of the door to your carriage of the ICE... before its even pulled into the station.

Or you do similar on exiting the baggage claim area at an airport (often observed in Hamburg Terminal 2) and throw your arms around whoever is collecting you whilst ignoring the other passengers behind you who cannot get past. You then look hurt at their sarcastic comments like "can we also get out of here?".

This is so true. A large (German) bloke did exactly that to me and a couple of others once. We were kind of stuck behind him. I asked him if he could step to one side before getting his phone out. He called me a wanker. I replied that I sure am and didn't he just wish that he could be too.


Got into a fight over this once. Bloke in front didn't just stop, he took a step backwards. I trod on the back of his heel. He said people usually apologise for doing that. Did I apologise? Did I heck...

Are you guys saying that those are distinct German traits?? Don't you think you may be exaggerating a bit there?

Oh my, now you've gone and done it.

Defending 'The Hun' here on TT is not a wise thing to do. Prepare yourself for a barrage of abuse and questions about, as a Kraut, WTF you are doing on an English speakers forum.

I'd advise checking out the thread,Germans why are you here?

And prepare yourself to be Woofed at.

Hehe, alright I'm in, bring it on.

And remember the dogs who bark (or woof) don't bite (or can't).

@Jimbo: schwartzfahren? Nein d:-)nke!

...when you start diluting every type of drink imaginable with 'natürliches mineralwasser mit kohlensäure'.

...when you spell "tip" with two "p"s. The German obsession with doubling the final consonant in words like "Tipp" and "Stopp" and a few others that elude me for now, drives me up the wall. I may be wrong, but I think it's only in recent years they've started doing it. Is it prescribed by the new "Rechtschreibung" or what?

Anyway "tipp" in itself is bad enough, but Jeremy, I'm sad to say, has in another thread just committed the ultimate sacrilege:


Besmirching the name of our nation's sacred tea - Jeremy, how could you?!

Has "suck the marrow out of the Schweine-Knochen" been mentioned yet?

Q

Yeah Quas I think that was listed right after "put gelbe Saecke on bed before sex."

Don't quote me on that but I think it's always been that way. Why this is done ... beats me.

You are turning German if you catch yoruself doing the folllowing:

Being deathly scared of a draft in a room with closed windows...if someone dares open a window even in the dead of summer they say "es zieht" and promptly ask you to close the window or close it themselves.

Getting mysterous illnesses like a "Hoerstrurz" (sudden deafness) or "Kreislaufzusammenbruch" (circulatory collapse)

Perpetually complaining about everything (weather being the favorite topic...too hot, too cold, too rainy, too dry, too much snow, too little snow...etc)

Always giving some sort of bland and neutral answer when asked how they are when you greet them, or going to the other extreme and giving TMI...I did not want to know about your digestive problems. "Fine thanks" would have been more than enough...but what am I saying...they are never "fine" or doing well...normally they say "geht so" or "I can't complain" ...

Well these are just my two cents to this whole living in Germany thing.

I know that apparently it's standard operating procedure in the states, but I find the whole concept of asking about someone's well-being if you don't really want to hear an honest answer a bit silly.

It is just a way of being pollite...and it is not only standard procedure in the US but also elsewhere...England and well other places around the world. It is just a way of being pollite and friendly. As an ESL teacher I have had to answer this question many times and I must say that asking this question alone makes you a German. It's not the honesty or lack thereof in the wuestion that is important but more how it makes the other person feel when they hear it, especially if the asker uses a friendly tone and maybe even a smile when he or she asks. That is something that many find hard to understand, but a couple of my students who were in the US on holiday finally got what it meant once they were there, and returned to Germany and came back to class actually commenting on how people, total strangers, were so pleasant in the US...opening doors, asking how they were, and just being genrally nice to them. These were the ones that actually said that the honesty or lack thereof was not the central point, but that it was more how it made them feel, and that they generally felt nice after being received and treated like that by total and nameless strangers on the street or in an establishment. Then these same students commented on Germans being rude. Go figure!!

Hey, I've spent a year in the U.S. myself and I basically made the same experience as your students. Loved the people there and generally found them to be super friendly. And although I do get the point of the how-you-doin ritual and play along when talking to Americans, Brits, etc. (hell, I ask the question myself when initiating a conversation ), I reckon the German in me still can't quite wrap his head around the reason why someone would ask a question that they don't want an answer to.

You know you are turning German when you are involved in a traffic accident that results in microscopic scratch on your bumper/fender and you call the police for an accident report and you keep your vehicle in place while it holds up the morning rush hour.

When you start to "make" things like this guy above, you're turning into a German.

Anyone want to make some sport with me this afternoon?

Not weather - supermarkets! (exlamation mark )

No that would be the expats only, Germans don't really complain about the grocery stores al that much.

True! ;-)

Oh goody, the grammar police has caught on to me again. Right, "I've basically experienced the same thing as your students". That better?

This is true - when I first got here I used to drink Apfelsaft neat but now it has to be diluted at least 50-50...

All you needed to do was replace "made" with "had"..

when you think it's completely normal that banks and other businesses close for lunch!

... when your dog is wearing a neckerchief