You know you're turning German when...

you start thinking that the supermarkets aren't too bad

1. when you start ordering expensive, ugly crap for your kid from the jack-o catalog because every other parent (and their parents) did it

2. when you start buying wooden toys as birthday presents. what kid in their right mind wants a non painted wooden toy shaped like a duck?!

When you are asked to bring a desert to a party and the first thing you think of is Apfelstrudel.

[quote name='sunny' date='Oct 30 2007, 10:19 pm' post='1107443']
1. when you start ordering expensive, ugly crap for your kid from the jack-o catalog because every other parent (and their parents) did it

Yikes, guilty as charged.

Whilst driving in england and someone cuts you up, your reaction is to wave your hand in front of your face and say "bist du bescheuert oder was"

you are a lady between 40 and 60 who decides to dye parts of your hair blue, red or other applaing colours.

Reminds of an incident on my school German exchange.

I was staying in my exchange partner's house and was lucky enough to have an en suite. I have one at home, so I was careful not to make a mess as I have a certain amount of pride at a personal bathroom.

However, I came back one afternoon to find a little note rested on the cistern, in German. I read it, re-read it, assumed I'd read it wrong, then put it down again. I noticed it had some writing on the back and sure enough my partner's mother had translated the message into English for me:

"PLEASE, sit down on the toilet!"

I laughed, shaking my head as I walked away, thinking "fair enough".

That is, until she brought the matter up at the family dinner table.

Yup, "neue Rechtschreibung" of 1998 or so. I was working for a company who had a website with the word "Tip" in its title; there was much debate and taking of positions as to whether to add an extra "p" or not (they decided not to). The whole effing reform was a complete waste of time, IMHO, though I suppose it kept the intellectual chattering classes occupied and off the streets for a while. (That reminds me, I must finally get round to buying a new Duden, mine's from 1991).

Oh, and you know when you're turning German when you start worrying about this kind of stuff

you take your beach towel, and place it on a beach lounge before you go to breaky.

I was wondering if that was you, Carm!

It sucks and is the stupidest thing I have ever seen.

You know you're turning German when you start ...

• saying "hello" and "goodbye" to shop assistants
• waiting for the green man
• drinking fruit teas
• using incense sticks
• wearing a scarf rolled around the neck
• looking even frumpier than usual

Bollocks. 5 out of 6.
This is not good.

Go on, share. Which one doesn't apply?

PS. Do scented candles count? Oh dear.

They know.
They know.

Incense sticks. Make me sneeze mostly.

when you think your shopping cart is a tank and you trample over children and old ladies because they just opened another checkout line at the penny.

when you think nothing of buying unrefrigerated milk with a shelf life of 3 months!

love this one.

When you think nothing of walking in the bike lane, chatting to your friends and ignore the poor cyclist that you are blocking.

you have "The Hoffs" back catalogue on your MP3 player.

I have actually found the people in Germany generally the best for facilitating bikes. Maybe you have been here too long when imaginary problems become reality...or is that universal?

When you think that Rotkohl goes well with any Gericht.

Don't know if this is an European thing but if you think "what the hell?" if someone drop in un announced without a phone call or date set up a week in advance. Back home it's the acceptable. " Let's go see if "so and so is at home for a quick visit""

You start inviting people to look at the backside.

That is german in my experience...defo...

When you go on strike because you want a 31% increase in your wages.

1. Staring includes checking people's private parts out at the gym or at the sauna. The more obvious stare, the better.
2. Shaving all hair off your body except what's on your head.
3. When someone asks how you are, you give them a story not just the normal 'fine' or 'good'.
4. You keep walking by when you run into someone without saying 'sorry'.

When you let your your child keep their pacifer until they are at least 4 years old.

You stay in education until you are in your mid twenties and then act like you're still in fucking kindergarten when you finally enter the workplace.

When you think Germany only belongs to the Germans and everyone else should just go "home".

You start wearing Birkestocks mit socks ohne irony.

when you speak Denglish with your friends and no one bats an eye. And you speak to your family back home in English but with German grammar rules... my dad takes the piss out of me all the time on that one!

you get upset when someone takes the washing machine or runs overtime on the machines when you signed up 2 weeks in advance for the laundry room.

[quote name='Boots' date='Oct 30 2007, 5:27 pm' post='1107201']
... when your dog is wearing a neckerchief

Do Sweater's Count???

when you start telling people you are "ashamed" of your country

You're making fun of German food. You Americans should not open your mouth too much with your junk food. We visit US often. You have to run a lot to get somewhere some proper food. Everywhere horrible quality fast food, sweeteners, sugars, trans-fats, genetically modified food and chemicals in food. And that stuff that you dare to call pizza, we had to throw in garbage only.

It's a beautiful day, and you let your dogs out into the backyard while you're busy in the house doing something. They start to bark for whatever reason, and you immediately drop everything rush outside, and start scolding them because it is the quiet period of the day. You shoo them back into the house, telling them they can bark again in about 45 minutes, but not right now! Neighbour nods head with approval. Another community crisis averted.

You know you're turning German when you become defensive when someone laughs about the German food you eat .

this coming from a steaming vinegary cabbage muncher.

simply astonishing.

a steaming vinegary cabbage münchener.

Hey Schotte stop generalizing ... I actually hate Sauerkraut. But Blaukraut is good.
I have a feeling some of you guys here are turning more German than the average German is.

You know you're turning German if you consider anyone who lives in Germany, who is not a naturalized German citizen, to be "a guest" here.

You know you've been in Germany too long when you stop sniggering whenever someone wishes you a "Gute Fahrt!"

That's funny .

just happened to a friend of mine...

when you substitute 'with 13' with 'when i was 13' in a sentence.

You know you're turning German when you have a slug-on-legs as a pet ... ooops, sorry, I meant a dachshund...

You know you are turning German when you watch Die 7 Swerge* on TV, enjoy it and laughed out loud.

You know you are turning very German when you recognise most of the Comedians.

You know you are turning Uncle Thomas German when you were not offended about the world play between the Evil Queen calling for jaeger to kill Snow white and a negger turning up at the door. "No we did not say jaeger not negger". Bad Doggie would be proud of me.

Stanford - had a great two hours enjoying German comedy...

* A adult fairy tale of Snow white and the seven dwarfs which was on TV tonight.

16. When you stuff your pockets with ketchup packs, when you discover they are free.. ( and carry them in your purse for the next time)
17. when you would never consider leaving your shopping basket and saved plastic bags at home and paying 10 whole euro cent for a new one.
18. when even though its called Bacon on the menu you call it speck! and then the lady has no idea what you are talking about..

You know you're turning German when:

You pay some stupid bill without question and then file that bill away for the rest of your life (just in case you know)

Damn - I missed that. Dunno how as my 18yr old son went to the Otto concert in Hamburg a week ago & enjoyed it...

when you go to someone's house for dinner and the hostess announces 'Wir essen Karpfen heute abend' and you think...
ooooh yummy, carp!