What's your favourite Chas & Dave song?

Personally I'm a fan of all of their great, great work, but if I could only ever listen to one more Chas n Dave number it'd probably have to be Snooker Loopy.

Pure genius.

Lets be honest, you are hard pushed to find a chas n dave song that is NOT bloody fantastic. They're all simply musical masterpieces. People that think Mozart or Bach, or Beethoven or (insert classical musicy type bloke here) are good are often Germans, and by extension, pretentious idiots. If Mozart is so fucking good, how come he couldn't put together any lyrics? Eh? Answer that one. See, you can't. Conducting an orchestra is a complete piece of piss, just wave a wand about like Harry Potter* on ecstasy, but putting together lyrics of the standard of "hopping down in Kent" requires a rare level of musical genius and understanding.

*Press y to get it out.

or a rare level cuntishness

@Jimbo. You must be joking right?

Their seminal work was clearly "Rabbit". It's hard to put into words the emotions that flow through me when I hear this one:

you got a beautiful chin,
you got beautiful skin,
you got a beautiful face,
you got taste,
you got beautiful eyes,
you got beautiful thighs,
you got a lot whout a doubt,
but i think bout blowin u out,

Jesus, don't start me on the type of cunt that likes classical music. Let's at least keep this discussion out of the gutter, Don. There are enough fucking Germans where you are (and indeed one where I am, and I'm in bloody London).

Still, I agree with the sentiment of your post mate - it's all very well just to scribble a few notes on a page, and then ponce about with a stick. In fact, all a conductor is doing is telling sections of the orchestra to louden up/quieten down or speed up/slow down. For Chas n Dave fans we have what I like to call the VOLUME knob and the FAST FORWARD/REWIND button. Possibly not as elegant, but at least you don't look a cunt when you're doing it.

As for lyrical genius, you won't beat this:


Making stuff rhyme. Now THAT is art.

EDIT: y, y, y, y, y - nope, not working Don.

Gertcha!

I would class 'Rabbit' as their magnum opus. The syncopated rythym and allegro canon in the final bars is nothing short of breathtaking. A concerto of the senses.

Indeed. It's like Chas is gently felating your left earlobe, whilst Dave is taking your other and roughly slapping it about.

Of cawse, if ya gonna rabbit on abaat ya Chas an' ya Dave ya gotta put in a Dickie in fer the strangle of 'em awl... Mrs. Mills. Battles when I were a nippa wouldn't 'ave been the same withaat 'er h'influence. Know wot I mean?

'ave a banana! Gawd blimey luv! A no-knickerbocka glory! Git them biscuits up girl! Luv a bit of it! I should cocoa.

<shudder> sooooo many horrible images

Sin ably demonstrating how anything can be 'cock-er-nee' by simply adding the phrase 'ave a banana'.

Chas and Dave have more than one song?

Strictly speaking no, they just have a forty year long noise which for convenience can be divided up.

I refer the right 'orrible gentleman to the answer I gave some moments ago.

I could only make it through the first 3 minutes of that Loopy song. I am not sure if that is supposed to be sexy but think I am constipated now.

Are you referring to Snooker Loopy? That song is only 3 minutes long anyway. Oh, and it's about "snukker". You know, that game that is like 9 Ball but with more balls and on a bigger table with pockets that are not the size of Texas.

Oh. And the song is awesome. Especially the video. The days of the upsidedown glasses have, sadly, departed.