Dealing with potential domestic abuse

This is probably a bit heavy for a first post but I've been lurking here without membership for a while.

I'd consider myself still fairly new to Germany, I only moved here in July and have been living in a 1 room place with my boyfriend since August. The soundproofing is adequate however I can hear my neighbours very clearly. Specifically I can hear him yelling, her crying, random bumps against the wall and floor and I know I heard him beating her on one occassion.

My German is still abysmal, although that wouldn't make much difference as they're Iraqi. I know this because about 2 weeks ago (when I heard him hitting her while she was screaming), I had the police called (there was another woman coming down the corridor at the time so she called them as she could speak in German). Unfortunately when the police arrived, they both denied anything was going on (all 3 of us had to show our passports, hence why I know their nationalities).

They've been quiet over the last week but right now I can hear him yelling at her again. It's likely to go on for quite some time yet.

If I were in the UK, I'd probably try to speak to this woman on her own, but I've never even seen her outside by herself, she's always with him. Plus I don't think she speaks English (as mentioned, my German is terrible and I know no Iraqi.) I wish I could get this guy to stop, or for her to escape to a refuge but I have no idea how things like that operate in Germany.

Can anyone make any suggestions for help? Should I ignore everything? (which I really don't believe I could do)

Winterlights, the German legal system doesn't really seem to have a good grip on how to deal with domestic abuse when it's being perpetrated by foreigners, on foreigners.

I think the best thing you can do to help is to complain to the police about the noise every time you hear it, whether or not it's actually bothering you (due to the soundproofing.) I'd also complain to their landlord, if they aren't owners and you can find out who owns the place. If you can get the other neighbors on board to call and complain as well, all the better. Maybe you could find a way to record the noise in case they deny it again? At least there will be some kind of paper trail established with the police if (heaven forbid) she ends up in the hospital.

There are city-run refuges for women who are victims of abuse, but she likely won't pursue that option on her own. The "good" news is, if they're Iraqi and they're newcomers, they may be staying on an asylum application. If that's the case, they need to behave themselves or they won't be allowed to remain.

What does it have to do with being a foreigner?

If I were to hear that coming from a neighbouring apartment even once, I'd be knocking on their door. Phone the cops, phone the social services agency, do something! A fellow human being is being abused. Who gives a rat's ass what the protocol is, it's got to stop. The Germans call this Zivilcourage, don't they? Speaking up for what's right? Get to it and tell us what happens.

Take a big friend (who can speaketh the language) and go knock on the door and talk to the lady. Get some support group involved. And remember, she could be the one hitting him so be careful.

There's a thread on it somewhere, but there was a case earlier this year where a German judge wouldn't grant a Muslim woman applying for divorce a waiver from the normal one-year separation period. The woman claimed that her husband was abusing her, but the judge said that according to the Koran, the woman should have expected that kind of treatment and therefore she didn't qualify for the waiver.

There was an uproar about the case, and the judge was disciplined, but it stands as one example of how the German law is still trying to catch up to new social realities.

My main point being that Winterlights should make her complaints to the authorities based on how the situation is affecting her personally (the noise), considering that she probably won't be able to make much impact on the distressing reality of the abuse situation.

Here it is: Physical abuse in a Muslim marriage.

This decision was roundly criticized by Muslims here in Germany as well. The judge had witnessed an estranged (non-Muslim) husband in a divorce case a decade prior shoot up in her courtroom, so fear of a reprise of that incident was almost certainly what motivated her decision, which would have been extremely condescending to Muslims and deleterious to the rule of law in Germany if it had been allowed to stand.

@Winterlights: Kudos to you for taking the initiative. I have got some addresses with telephone numbers here - perhaps one of them can guide or offer help:

Wildwasser u. Frauen Notruf Verein gegen sexuelle Gewalt an ...www.wildwasser-frauennotruf.deHirschstr. 53B76133 Karlsruhe, Germany+49 721 859173

Frauen- und Kinderschutzhaus St. Antoniusheim
76185 Karlsruhe · 07 21 /9 55 97-0

Frauenhaus Karlsruhe – Verein zum Schutz
misshandelter Frauen und deren Kinder e.V.
76155 Karlsruhe · Postfach 05 15 · 07 21/56 78 24

Beratungsstelle für Frauen mit Gewalterfahrung
Sozialdienst katholischer Frauen
76133 Karlsruhe · Wörthtraße 4 · 07 21 /9 13 75 -18

Beratungsstelle für Frauen mit Gewalterfahrung „Haus 13“
76135 Karlsruhe · Schillerstraße 13 · 07 21 /84 90 47