Dealing with an unpleasant roommate

My roomie either is really stupid or thinks I am stupid, cannot believe all the bullshit stories he tells me. (Like, "if someone calls you on your [Spanish] cellphone [and I am in Spain] from Germany, you have to pay for roaming.) Now clearly I don't, else I would run out of credit long before I do, and receiving calls is generally free, and of course he can say whatever he wants and that won't change the fact that I don't pay, but gosh it is annoying, and he better not claim that receiving calls from Germany on the landline costs something as well. How many days till I move out?

being lonely/alone now had appeal? (awhile ago you were excited to get a roomie.)

trust me i understand- defo don't know how i'd handle living alone, but one of my roomies grrr!

Well, that was the new roomie, because I thought it would make living with the other roomie more bearable than it was, but turns out it is worse. My roomie / landlord (the one who also is full of shit) basically yelled at me earlier, got very personal and insulting and made it very clear he would prefer if I moved out tomorrow, this is not my house, etc. I pay €400 for having to act like a guest around my roommate! I am not equal, of course he is always right, and he doesn't even let me say anything.
He said I can stay at a hostel, basically I am not sure if he might not just decide one day to throw all my stuff out on the street, even though I did pay my rent for the entire month, told him I'd leave on Nov 3rd, which this morning he said he understood it was the end of the month, then tonight decided that he understood I would move out right away, which makes no sense as I gave him my rent for the entire month just as I said that to him.
I am feeling like crap here, I feel unwelcome in my "home", he is disrespectful (I had asked him not to smoke because it bothers me, and the ad said non-smoking, and guess what, he said, ok he would only smoke in his room, but today he started smoking in the living room again, guess he decided he doesn't care anymore if it bothers me), I feel like an alien here.
But I cannot afford moving now as I cannot pay double rent for a month so I'll have to stay here for at least two more weeks, besides I don't even have a new place to move to yet, have a 15 page paper to write within the next week, classes, find a new apartment, if I had no classes I would just go HOME (to Munich) until the lease is over, but I can't.
I haven't felt as shitty as I am feeling now in a long time. (And that means something, I have not felt comfortable in this apartment since week 2, actually was considering moving a few days after I moved in.)

not a good situation. try to tough it out and stay focused on school/busy with life and enjoying the city until you can get out of there and relax with a bit of fun mariposa time.

Thanks, yeah that is what I am trying. I also talked to the girl who lived in the other room before, she is a sweetie, she said if I want she'll help me find a new place and also help me with moving (with a car), so she will pick me up tomorrow morning and we'll go to her place (she lives outside BCN now) to look on the internet for any apartments. That way I don't have to stay here i the apartment all day. She suggested I essentially just come here to sleep but that means I'll have to be at uni all day, probably the library which is not the most exciting place to be either. I don't know. I mostly stay in my room as is anyway, because I really don't want anything to do with these two people anymore, but I do have to go to the kitchen and stuff (which is when my roomie yelled at me, when I was eating dinner).
But I already have appointments to look at two rooms, one tomorrow and one on Tuesday. I hope I can find something soon.

@ Mariposa, since you paid for the room, I would stick it out and not give him the satisfaction of pocketing your money while you leave!! A pox on him!

Well, I will not give back my keys anyway. I would just not be there anymore. Wouldn't want to give him the opportunity to rent it out again and make double the money from being an asshole. But I will have to move at least a few days before so I can move on a weekend (so that would be the weekend in three weeks at the latest). The girl I mentioned (who lived in the other room until last month) said she'd help me move but she works so it'd be much better for her on the weekend as well. I am actually at her place right now, it's nice to be in a friendly comfortable place with a nice atmosphere.
And she told me also that she and the girl who lived there before L. and I (L. has the other room but she's a pain in the butt) paid €50 less every month! And then my landlord goes and says it's not about the money for him. Pffffft yeah right, it's all about the money for him!
I just hope he will not come to me one day and be like, well I have found someone who wants to move into the room, but she [he only rents out to girls] wants to move in tomorrow, you have to leave tonight. Because I can imagine he would totally do that. Even if he gives me back the money for the rest of the month, I'd have an issue then. I am sure I could stay with someone I know here for a couple of nights (two girls I know have already told me I can), but I would still have to find a new place within two days or so, and I have classes and other things to do so I cannot focus solely on finding a new apartment.

Good luck M! Don´t let yourself be pushed around. Do you have a receipt for the rent paid in case you need to call the police. Stand your ground.

No, nothing. It is illegal for him to rent out a room without a contract so I have no proof whatsoever (he doesn't give you any receipt, it's all paid in cash in person, which is very common here). I just hope he is at least a half-decent person who will give me back my deposit when I move out.
I do have the receipt from the ATM for the money when I got it (with date and amount), but technically I cannot prove that it was for rent.
Thanks.

what a jerk. Hope you find a better place soon.

go and have a shit under the smokers duvet and say it was your dog or cat.

He was being an asshole again tonight. And I have to take this... 25 days longer. Please if anyone could give me tips on how to not let him get to me anymore, that would be great. I am pretty sensitive and I'm probably gonna need therapy if I stay here another 25 days and feel like this every night. He is purposefully trying to make me feel bad. I was crying earlier, and he said "yeah, trying to find an apartment is hard, huh?" (which was actually not why I was crying, I find finding an apartment much easier than living with him), and "in other apartments you will not be able to lock your room and they will steal your stuff from you". Now he is extremely paranoid about this kind of stuff so he might actually believe that his apartment is the only clean and safe apartment in Barcelona, but I think he is trying to get to me, which makes him even more of an asshole. I am not that naive.
Then he told me when I moved in I have to take a shower before midnight, now he says he never said that and that it was 11pm and I never respect that, and that I have only once taken out the trash (which is a lie, maybe he's only seen me take out the trash once, but that doesn't mean I have only done it once, and am I supposed to tell him every time I do it, just so he knows I do it?), so I tell him that it's not true, and he says, no it is, I have not taken out the trash in weeks. I mean I know he is not right, so I end up just letting him believe it, because what can I do, I cannot prove it and he believes what he wants to believe, but my skin is not thick enough to be able to endure every night all these accusations of what I supposedly have and haven't done.
I don't know what to do, I don't know how to handle the situation. My parents say I should take this as an opportunity to learn how to handle people like this, but I don't know how. If I just ignore him, that might make him more angry, and I don't know how much worse he could make life for me. If someone can help me, please let me know, maybe this is the wrong topic to ask though.

if i were there, i could beat his ass so bad that he would learn how to behave but from here i could only tell you to be calm and strong and dont treat him as he treats you.

Thanks. I am not sure I know how to be calm and strong in this situation as my skin is extremely thin at the moment. I haven't been feeling comfortable living here for several weeks now and I am worn down. I have never had to deal with something as extreme as this, and I don't know how.
Just something else I remember: he brought up how apparently I listen to my music too loudly and it bothers my roommate (the girl), though apparently it does not bother him - strange as my room is in the middle so they should hear it equally loud. Besides I hear her music too, I hear her talking on the phone (and if I understood French well enough I could actually listen to the conversation, this is her being in her room, I in mine, both doors closed), I hear them cough, I even hear when he switches his fucking light on, because the walls are so thin here you hear every fucking thing. For me that is something that is normal because that is how the apartment is; that someone would want to listen to music sometime is something you accept in a shared flat, she does, I do, I don't complain just because I hear her music. Or the TV when he watches it (he turns it up pretty loud).
But nothing I can do right and everything I do is wrong.

I am going to try to ignore them mostly (I'll say hi, bye, the basic polite stuff but no more than that), and I will try, not sure if I can though, to pretend they're not getting to me anymore. So they cannot get that kind of power... I talked to my mom about this, she said I should see it as a chance to learn how to handle people like this, but it's hard to see it that way. And if they keep saying stuff pretend I don't understand. Since neither of them speak English, and they can only talk to me in Spanish, I just hope that won't make them more pissed off if they think I am just acting like I don't understand. I would really just like for them to leave me alone. I am leaving in a month, woohoo, now go leave me alone.

Also, I spent today with the girl (A.) who lived in the other room, she's so nice, wish she still lived here. She told me she and the girl who lived in my room before me had the same issues with him, they just didn't say anything, but they talked about it among themselves... and she told me that he once told her, "I like dating girls your age, like 26 or 27", mind you he is 42 (43 in Jan.). Makes me wonder if it is possible that something is going on between him and the new roommate since they seem to be sticking together all the time. She is 25. And I guess he does look "young" for his age (I had actually thought he was 5 years younger or so until A. told me).

And she told me she and the other girl used to pay €50 less than I and the new girl do now. But yeah, he doesn't care about the money, right.

And another thing, he told me I can pay my rent between the first and the fifth of the month. Then on the fourth, he was like "it's the fourth, tomorrow is the fifth, when are you going to pay the rent?" I said I actually got it right here, I got it from the ATM the night before but he wasn't home so I wanted to do it the next day, and then he goes, "I do not want to have to remind you". Ummm so he says I can pay between 1st and 5th but reminds me on the 4th??? That is his own fault, then he shouldn't say I can pay on the 5th as well. Then tonight he says, if you had the money on the 1st, you should give it to me on the 1st. I said, that is not what I said, I did not have the money on the first, I just got it from the ATM the night before. He said, no you had it on the 1st... you get the idea, he is right, I am wrong and I lie. I then dropped it, because he'd discuss the topic like everything else ad nauseam, because of course I have no clue, and stupid and I lie, or obviously understand nothing he says, and he insists on being right. So whatever, it's just very frustrating. I just don't like someone accusing me of not being honest or paying bills late, because if he says I can pay by the 5th, the 4th is still very much on time.

Could you ask your friend whether she can talk to him about that you don't feel comfortable in the way you are treated and want him to stop, considering that you will move out soon anyway?

Are there tutors at your university for foreign students? Maybe they know how to help.

He doesn't know I have contact with her and I think he may get mad knowing I do and talk to her about it. If it gets even worse I might, though, she has already offered it to me, and if I do end up having to go to the police, she can witness that I really lived there and paid rent (and so did she), so I hope my landlord will want to avoid that kind of trouble just to keep €350. I'm glad she has been helping me so much, and I have also had two girls I know here offer me to stay at their place if I needed to. It's good to know there are good people like that too, and that I do know some good people like that here in BCN already.

And I will be going to talk to a tutor or something at the university on Monday (I have a tutor but haven't actually seen him or her yet, just the general Erasmus adviser, not sure if my tutor will be there but if not I can maybe talk to the people at the Erasmus office). I am not sure they will be able to help me with the current situation but maybe help me find a new place to live, give me more tips about where to look etc. (though I am not actually that worried about that), and I will also ask if there is anything else they or I can do and what happens if I do go to the police (at this point I have no interest in doing this, just if he doesn't return my deposit or kicks me out before the month is over I will do it - he is the one breaking the law, and probably evading taxes).

Mariposa, you're dealing with a bully. A 40+ year old one at that. He rents to younger women because he (thinks) he can control them, and has fun jerking them around, ie moving the shower hours, payment dates etc. That and he probably can't get around nice looking younger women otherwise. So how would I deal with a guy like this? As a bystander, I'd like to imagine that I'd give as good as I get from the guy but I know its different when you're actually in the situation. As you've said, you're really sensitive and have a lot to deal with, so in your situation, I would try to have as little contact with him as possible. You're not going to change his behaviour or attitude in the little time that you've got left AND jerks like this get satisfaction from seeing you suffer, and adding to it, ie telling you scary stories of how you're going to get robbed and cheated in your next housing situation. Why you let him see you cry is beyond me but I guess it couldn't be helped. Do your work in your room, use earphones to listen to your music. BTW: Im the paranoid sort so I wouldn't tell him that you're in contact with the previous tenant and/or threaten to go to the cops until your foot is out the door. In the meantime, make sure you've got your valuables, especially your passport, safe. Make backups of your work as it would be far to easy for the asshole to *accidentally* spill a glass of wine on your pc or files.

Also the next time you move in somewhere with no contract (Ive heard its the norm there), then get a special notebook that you keep. Write down the rules - in spanish, english or whatever common language you can - with the landlord. Go over the list carefully with him/her under the pretext that you want to make sure you've got it right. That way you can't get jerked around so easily on terms. Anyway, hang in there and good luck.

@Crowes, one should never shit under a persons blanket and blame the pet. Thats just not civilised. One should instead carefully open and insert said pet's shit, preferably previously collected and dried, in the persons pillows and/or stuffed animals taking care to sew the closures back properly. I takes a little more planning and is somewhat more subtle but it takes a while for the person to figure it out. Or so I'm told.

@ Mariposa - You said on another thread that you either don't log out of TT or save your password. I would generally log out, who knows what Señor Macho will do next. He does not seem to respect you as a person, why respect your belongings?

@ jml - Much more subtle: Dry the excrements, break them down to jelly bean size, mix them in his coffee beans.

What? Sehnor Match is going to log onto TT as Mariposa and do what? Make lewd marmite jokes? Ask for a date with Dino?

Read what she wrote about him and throw her out?

I read the thread at 4AM (the tooth is still getting me up) and while my eyes were not in front of my eyeballs (and this guy sounds like an ass) I don't see the risk of staying logged on to TT. The only risk is one of stumbling on this thread (available in the history of the browser and having nothing to do with English) but a) he does not speak English and b ) as a 40 year old renting live in space to students probably does not know how to use a PC well c) the doors are locked (it seems, from the posts)...

Mariposa, when he upsets you, remember to project into the near-far future - a year from now you are a wonderous light traveling the world, he is stuck harrassing students.

I think you should take your friend along with you when you go to the Erasmus office, explain them how uncomfortable you feel, and ask for a safe place to stay while you're looking for a new apartment.

Mariposa, just don't pay attention to what this weird roomie-landlord says, because there are certainly better alternatives than his flat. I'd avoid a situation where you are at the mercy of one main tenant and recommend looking for a more "WG"-style shared flat, i. e. where it's more balanced and the roommates share some activities like cooking. I lived with four spanish girls in Salamanca on a student exchange program "back in the old days". I guess I was just lucky to find the offer on a noticeboard, and although I moved in last, I didn't feel left out at all (and I'm not someone who usually likes being in a group).

Sure, we had the occasional discussion and I got confronted with their and my own preconceived ideas and stubbornness, but we usually ended up laughing about it. I suppose that's what this intercultural experience is about. I have very fond memories of this time, mainly due to these great roomies, and I really hope that you have much better luck with your next flat.

Yeah I definitely think that is why he rents to younger women. He does have surprisingly many female friends and A. told me he used to date more than one woman at a time usually, I don't know and honestly don't care that much about his relationships or fuck buddies but he really doesn't have any respect for women.



Yeah I haven't told him any of that. I will not tell him that either, i.e. I would not use the threat of calling the police to impress him. That is something I will just do when I need to and then I may not inform him of this in advance. As for backups, I do that anyway, at least with work on my computer, because I don't very much trust computers with important things like termpapers. I have no hand-written important things, just notes, and if I lost those, I could just copy them from someone else in class.
As for keeping passport and valuables safe. Well, I do still believe they are safer here (in my room) than they are when I carry them around with me in Barcelona 24/7, because this city has a huge pickpocketing problem.
And after talking to A. (my friend) I do think they are safer here. I do think he is a bully but not necessarily a criminal. A. told me about how she had her wallet stolen from her purse before, the other girl (who had my room before me) had her purse snatched, and A.'s boyfriend's mom had her wallet & keys stolen while they were on vacation here, and when they returned home to Paris stuff had been taken from their apartment so someone actually went through the trouble to travel from BCN to Paris with stolen keys and wallet to rob the apartment.


That is a good idea, thanks. And yes, no contract is the norm here, I do know one girl who has one, but usually you don't.


He doesn't speak English, or maybe 1st grade level, so even if he was able to access my computer (which is password protected), he wouldn't understand what I've written here. I have actually changed my laptop to also ask for a password if you want to return to using it after the screensaver was turned on.


He does know how to use a computer (actually I think that is why the internet connection might be so shitty, because he downloads all these movies and TV shows 24/7 and sucks up all the bandwidth, that or the modem is just crap), and while the rooms are locked, of course he has a key, and I know he does not seem to grasp the concept of personal space (I live in his room, I use his furniture, I mean I am not even supposed to eat in my room, wtf). But then I do have my laptop password-protected so he would have to go through some trouble to access it.


She works so she can't. I mean she would have to take off an entire day to do this which I cannot and would not ask her to do. I am not sure they would be that helpful. I would probably be able to find a place to stay right away if I looked at the ones that are available now which is actually the majority but I cannot pay another month's rent in October.

Yesterday, he said when I moved in he thought I was a nice person but then I started complaining about the fact that there were moths in the kitchen cupboards and in the food. Yeah, how dare I? Wtf is he thinking, so he hardly ever eats at home but moths and their eggs and larvae are pretty disgusting and surely can't be all that healthy to consume. This was a few days after I moved in, and I even offered to help him clean the kitchen, even though the moths were clearly there before I moved in.

Thanks everyone for being so nice and for posting suggestions.

Yeah I didn't realize this would be such a problem, him being the owner, but it actually is probably the root of it all, because I have to act like a paying guest here, instead of being able to feel at home. I am now exclusively looking at apartments where I would share the apartment with young people around my age +/- a few years who are all the same as I am (i.e. rentees).
The one I looked at yesterday actually seemed very nice, and definitely very different from this one. I will look at a few more though to see what else is out there and if I can maybe find something a big cheaper than €400.

I just found the ad online for my room and it says it will be available from Oct 15th. WTF? He told me if I say I leave on the 31st I CANNOT leave earlier or not get my money back. I am really worried he will just kick me out if he finds someone who wants to take it for Oct 15th. And at the same time I cannot look for anything for now in case I don't get any money back because I cannot afford paying three weeks twice.

And if he does find someone for Oct 15th and kicks me out then, even if he gives me my money back, I would have a problem because I do not have a place to live yet. I would probably have to go to a hostel but I have so many things and I have to study and everything.

He isn't home yet so I haven't asked him about this ad yet, which I will have to do but I am really dreading it. I asked my current roommate L. if she knows anything about it, she said, no but that he did say I can stay until the 31st, but I am not sure she would stick to this should I decide to get in touch with the police. After all she might not want to move out of here which she would probably have to do then.

Print this thread out and go to Erasmus. If you're on a program, you have advisors who are there to help you. It's their JOB. They get PAID to do it. Even if you're not with Erasmus, you must be paying some kind of fees to the university and there are people there experienced with officialdom and there to help. If you don't know who at the university to turn to, call your coordinators in Germany and ask. (This is where those student fees come into play -- you are paying these people's salary, and don't forget it! You are a dissatisfied customer, demand some service!) Not that either university is responsible for your rent situation, but they can help explain how renting in Spain works and what rights you have and how to document stuff appropriately.

And even if it's not the norm to have a written contract -- insist on it with the next place. Really, Spain has laws and contracts etc. Have you exchanged emails with him? Try communicating with him in written form, as that is already a form of contract. Even if it's handwritten notes.

I agree with the bully assessment too -- someone who rents only to girls probably thinks the girls will do all the cleaning.

You'll just have to tough it out until the end of the month, but you have local help. You'll be fine afterwards.

Yes, I will go to the Erasmus office about it tomorrow, and I hope they will be able to help me somewhat, though I am not sure how exactly they will be able to help. But actually I am not currently paying student fees. With an Erasmus scholarship you are exempt from them both here as well as in Germany (at least at my university there). Regardless, they should be able to help a little anyway.

Insisting on a written contract might be hard, as it will limit the choice of apartments considerably, especially if I want to live with young people my age.

E-mails... that is actually an interesting topic. I exchanged some e-mails with him in the beginning, when I wanted to look at the room but he actually uses a fake name and e-mail address for this (renting out the rooms) as he is well aware of it being illegal. I first thought that that was his name (the name in the e-mail address and the one he uses to sign the ads and e-mails) but turns out his real name is different. This is just my conclusion from his extreme paranoia regarding security as well as the situation with renting out rooms (he insists on not having any written agreement, receipt or anything). He also uses a cellphone number for this that is different from his private one (which I do have though, I also have his complete name obviously).
But the only address I would know to write to is the one he uses for "business" (his words), so I am not sure that would work.

Thanks. I will tough it out as you say, I am just not sure what to do if he kicks me out or doesn't give me my deposit back. Sure the obvious and only choice will be to go to the police, but I am not sure they would even do anything.

I had e-mailed my professor about an extension for my term paper that I have to write in the next week and send off on Monday the 15th at the latest for it to be on time, but unfortunately she is on vacation and I just got an auto-generated message back that she will be back in her office on... the 15th. Great.
I guess I will just have to finish it somehow, and at the same time look for an apartment and go to classes and do my school work here, because I cannot take the risk of waiting until the 15th and then get an e-mail from her that she will not give me an extension. This is my last credit I need for my English major and I want to finally get it over with, and not take another class when I come back.

household cleaner on chlorine basis (Dan Klorix) + Ammonia or bleach or both. Go out, barricade the doors and windows shut, come back in half an hour and the job should be done. (Anarchists Cookbook)

Chin up Charliefly.

TallGuy, being a good girl I would not even know what that would do...

Thanks Punchbear.

So I asked at the Erasmus office today, the guy told me they cannot help me, but I might want to go to the police just to ask what I can do.. not sure if I want to go down that route just yet, even if I asked them not to contact my landlord.

He also said I should go to the housing office because they would probably be able to help me find a place to stay if I do get kicked out.

Anyway, I am currently trying to calm myself down a little, and remind myself I will not have to sleep on the street or something if he does kick me out.. I could probably stay at a friend's house or a hostel, and would just have to find a new place to live right away which should be possible in a few days, a week max.

The only problem would be getting my money back but I really hope that the landlord will at least be fair with that! If he isn't then I will first off ask my friend A. (who lived there before) to talk to him and then also go to the police. Maybe just mentioning the police to the landlord will help considering how paranoid he is. (Obviously I wouldn't do that if I still have any stuff inside that apartment.)

I have several appointments to look at rooms for tonight and tomorrow night. That was actually pretty funny, I called one, she is Austrian (I knew that from the ad), and so I talked German to her. The next one I called, I said some things in Spanish and the guy asked me where I am from, I said, Alemania, and he went "oh wir können auch deutsch sprechen, ich spreche deutsch". Haha.
Then I also called one, and she asked what my name is, and then she said the girl who is leaving at the end of the month (who lives in the room I'll be looking at), her name is the same as mine.
Anyway, that put a smile on my face.

I am also generally feeling a bit better now, having talked to a friend here again, and I warned her that it might happen that I call her next weekend and need a place to stay, and she said not to worry about it, it'll be not a problem at all. So even if he does kick me out, I know I have a place to go. I have also been able to avoid him since Saturday night, only said hi to him yesterday night when I got home, but that is it.

So I am actually starting to think that if he does kick me out and does give me time to pack everything and does give me my money back (if he doesn't that would not be good at all though I would definitely not just let him get away with it), that might actually be for the best, because I can stay at my friend's at least for some time, and then the hostel is really not that bad (I've stayed there before, when I first came to BCN), and maybe even preferrable to that apartment. (I'd be able to leave most of my stuff at my friend's place too, so it would be safe and have space to be stored.)

By the way, I took pictures of the "rules list" in the kitchen which mentions that the deposit will be returned when we leave... I am not sure if that would be any good as a proof, but it does imply there was at least a deposit.

I hope it all works out for you sweety, I'll keep my fingers crossed

big hug

Good thinking re the deposit.

Glad to hear you're feeling better. Hope the creep stays out of your way for the next three weeks.

Good news, my prof replied to my e-mail after all, and she gave me a two week extension! (And I will be able to have a few more days as the deadline is for sending in my paper per e-mail, not per snail mail which I will do the same day but it'll get there probably around 5 days later.)
So now I can fully focus on finding a new place to live and after that (hopefully I will find one within the next few days, still looking for NOV 1ST but it is taking up all my time at the moment) I will focus on finishing the term paper.

I so feel your pain. Can't move right now, and it's unbelievable what people come up with.

Good job on the documentation.

Wish you lots of luck finding a new place.

yay! congrats, slowly it'll all pull together.

now if only i could sort out how to replace my roommate with someone i like... hey Mariposa! after Spain feel like goign to Milwaukee, WI? You sound like you'd be a good roomie.

Haha sure, who will marry me to sponsor my greencard? Where is perdido when you need him?

Thanks for the support everyone. I am really glad I got you guys here, it really helps to read all these encouraging words.

Update on the apartment hunt: the one I looked at on Saturday isn't available anymore, but I saw two today which were both ok, I would definitely prefer one over the other though. And I got two more appointments tomorrow and one on Thursday as it seems right now, and of course I keep looking to get more appointments.

well, Senor Perido is known to think girls from WI are great so... come on over!

@Mariposa: after reading this thread I will be very surprised if this asshole gives you back your deposit. Is the deposit one month's rent?

Yes, it is one month's rent (rent is €350 + €50 utilities, the deposit is €350). I am just hoping that he won't want any trouble and prefer giving me back my money over my calling the police. I would also definitely ask my friend who also lived there before (who did get her deposit back) to be there when I talk to him... I have not broken anything, so there he has no right to keep it though I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to anyway.

I think the rule in the future will be, always get a receipt for your deposit. Ask before you take the room if they will give it in writing.

And get a rental contract in writing too...

The rental contract thing might be a bit difficult by the sounds of it, but if you are handing over a cash deposit, it is reasonable to expect some confirmation.

I like M´s idea of going through the house rules and writing them down with the other tenants.

Too bad you can't rewind the clock and just not pay the last month's rent. When he asks it from you just say, "use my deposit, bitch."

Technically a good idea, and anywhere else I'd expect one too but you would not be able to get 90% of the rooms here if you insist on a contract. But I will ask for a receipt of some sort for the rent and deposit next time.

@MrBrain
And without a signed rental contract she would have been on the street for doing that..

@Mariposa
Then your opening yourself up to this happening again. Without one you have NO Protection.
Perhaps, you should then be looking for places in the other 10%, and cover your a$$.. against
this happening again. Don't you think you've been burned enough?